A Little Secret

I couldn't remember the last time I went out of my apartment without getting surrounded by paparazzi. Every inches of my moves were being watched by other people and this is all because I agreed to a ridiculous deal in which I regretted very much.

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I was taking a gap year after graduating high school and decided to explore England. Clearly France and England were 2 different countries and it was really hard for me to communicate since I didn't speak english pretty often in France.

One morning I went to Starbucks to get a frappucino and as usual, I got tongue tied as I tried to speak with the barista and ended up looking like a dumb in front of other people lining up behind me.

And just like a fairytale, a prince charming came out of nowhere and save me from embarrassment. Only that he wasn't a prince, but of course he was still as charming. He was rather a famous singer of One Direction. I remembered he said, "One frappucino for the lady." He probably figured out I wanted a frappucino since I kept saying frappucino.

We ended up sitting together and talked, however it was more like him trying to teach me how to speak English fluently. That morning was spent with laughters due to my lack of english vocabularies.

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Now it has been 7 months since it happened and I was sitting on my apartment's couch. I decided not to go outside since I knew how many people would try to take my pictures as I went out. I heard my phone rang and sighed. It must be from Zayn.

Ever since the Starbucks incident, Zayn and I became friends and he with the boys helped me a lot with the life in England. Our friendship was fine until everyone in the band have girlfriends except him. The media, as usual, exaggerated how it was so weird since societies considered Zayn as a good looking guy. And one day, numerous news said that Zayn happened to be gay flashed and somehow random people and fans seemed to believe it.

He didn't like seeing that. In my opinion, seriously, it was just a rumor and why couldn't he just get a spokesperson and confirmed to the whole wide world that he wasn't? But of course, he didn't do that.

Instead, he called me at 12.00 A.M. and asked me to be his fake girlfriend. He told me that he likes girls however there were no girls at the moment that he wanted to be committed to, therefore I should pretend to be his girlfriend. He told me this secret was just going to be between me and him.

I remembered declining his 'offer' and his response was rather unpleasant, "Bloody hell, Claire! I helped you with english when you sucked a lot during your first weeks in England! I introduced you to my friends and family so you'd have friends here! Now it's time for me to need your help! Why couldn't you do that for me?"

"But Zayn! It's ridiculous! Do you know how mad that idea is? How am I supposed to act in front of your friends then? And what if the media finds out? My face is going to be on every One Direction's news!"

"That's the plan, Claire! People need to believe that I like girls!"

"So go out with some girls! But not me! Oh and by the way you sound even more ridiculous!"

"If I keep going out with different girls, people would think I'm a complete arse for being a player! Please Claire, help me out. I'd give and do anything for you if you help me."

I sighed and somehow my mouth managed to give him an okay.

However here I am now, sitting with full of regrets. Regret that now I couldn't have a normal life. Regret that I ended up feeling something more than friends for him.

Zayn took me around London and took me on dates and his concerts just to show me off to the media but I knew everything he does and the way he treated me was very gentle and I knew it was genuine. Only that it was genuine as a friend, nothing more.

He would send me roses with little cards saying how he thanked me everyday for wanting to help him and he would come to my apartment to sing me some songs with his guitar when I couldn't sleep. These little things he does for me were sweet but since we were in a fake relationship, I would still often see him bringing girls to his apartment for a one night stand.

I came back to reality when I heard massive knocks on my door and my loud ringtone. I grabbed my phone and saw the name Zayn Malik appeared on the screen and pressed answer, "What?"

"Claire I have been calling you dozens of time! Where were you? And open the bloody door!"

"Oh so it was you knocking massively on my door."

I hung up and opened the door facing a Zayn Malik in front of my face. I managed to smile and greet him but he just stormed into my apartment.

"Come on Claire, get your things. We're leaving in 5 minutes."

"What? Why? Where are we going?"

"I have an interview in 20 minutes and I need you there. I need the media to see you."

"Seriously, Zayn. Don't you think it's enough? Besides, I think people now start to believe you like girls. You don't need me on interviews."

Zayn put both of his hands on my shoulders and said, "Please. Just get your stuff."

I sighed and went to my room to get my stuff. As I was preparing for my stuff, I heard Zayn was on the phone and the conversation they had seemed to give my heart a little pain. He was talking seductively to I assume some girl and said, "Meet me on my place at 7, okay? Yes, we'll have an amazing night."

I got out of my room and glared at Zayn. He quickly hung up his phone and prepared to leave my apartment soon. I dropped my bag and said, "I'm not going, Zayn."

He turned around to look at me with confusion, "What?"

"I'm not going. Just go to that damn interview by yourself."

"No time for funny shit Claire. Come on."

"Zayn, I'm breaking up with you. I am done with this fake relationship."

He stared at me in disbelief and I could see anger and a little sadness in his eyes. Why should he be sad? Probably afraid he wouldn't be able to face the media later on.

"Claire, you can't do this to me. Not now or ever."

"No seriously, I'm done. I am done being your fake girlfriend. I am done feeling something more to you. I am done loving you secretly and I am done secretly feeling hurt when I saw you sneaked a girl into your place."

"You... What? You love me? Seriously what's actually going on?"

I could feel my cheeks turned red and tears were starting to fall down my face. I quickly wiped my tears. He couldn't see me turned fragile.

"Thank you for everything you have done for the past 7 months. Really I am very happy to meet everyone of you. I just decided to get back to Paris tonight."

Zayn stared me in complete disbelief however he managed to approach me and hold my face, "Claire, you can't leave. You're the best friend I ever had! You told me you're taking a gap year. A year means 12 months! Not 7 months! Did your forget that once you left high school? What's going on?"

I smiled but felt sad when he only considered me as his best friend and replied, "No, I know. I just think that 7 months is enough and besides I wouldn't be able to survive 3 more months in England. British pound sterling is insane."

"If this is all about money, I'll help you! I'll help you make a living and you can move in to my apartment-"

"And see you sleeping with other girls? No thanks. That is the main reason why I need to leave as soon as I can. That is the thing, Zayn. We don't have a mutual feeling. I love you more than you love me and the love we share are not in the same context. We need to go on separate ways and you know sooner or later I eventually will leave."

Zayn pulled his hands from my face and put them in his jeans' pocket. He stared on the floors and did nothing. He opened his mouth trying to say something but he ended up closing it again.

I let out a sigh and said, "You need to go now or you'll be late for your interview."

"Will you still be here once I got back from my interview?"

"Hopefully."

He managed to smile and left my apartment. I started to cry very hard as he got out of my apartment. I felt rejected and it wasn't such a pleasant feeling. I wasted a box of tissue just to wipe my tears. How I am so over dramatic.

Once I was done crying I quickly ordered a cab and packed all my clothes in my suitcases. I left messages to Niall, Liam, Harry, Louis, Zayn's family, and of course, Zayn himself. I thanked them for everything and apologized for not being able to say goodbye in person.

I got my suitcases and got into the cab and went to the airport. It was pretty hard letting the taxi driver got my suitcases into the cab due to the amount of paparazzi blocking us and asked me thousands of questions.

Once I got into the airport I quickly ordered the fastest flight available to Paris. I waited for a couple of hours in the waiting room and whilst I waited I looked through all pictures of me with Zayn. I started to cry again.

Suddenly I got a phone call from Zayn. I knew he would try to stop me from leaving but I think I just need to talk with him one last time before leaving.

Before I could answer he quickly said, "Claire what the fuck? I left you for 2 hours and now you're going back to Paris? Pictures of you leaving with bunch of suitcases were all over the internet and it drives me mental! Seriously don't go into that plane. I need you here!"

"Sorry Zayn, I need to go."

I hung up as my flight has been called. I turned off my phone and went back to Paris.