Young & Reckless

The next morning I woke up with the memory of Hayden dropping me off and sneaking back into my second story room. Since my family was asleep I skipped dinner and now I’d been starving. I stood and stretched my back. As I yawned I walked out my room and into the bathroom, quickly getting naked and stepping into the shower.

I let the cold water hit my body I turned and let the glacier cascade down my face and body. When my eyes closed I remembered the events from yesterday and that weekend. The horrible deed I had done that probably ruined me for all eternity.

I remembered Holden and Granger and Hayden. Holden’s tears and Grangers fake sympathy. But most of all I remembered Hayden’s stupid old pickup truck that made me fall for his quirky little charm. His dumb soft lips that kept me wanting more.

I opened my eyes, I didn’t want to remember Holden and his pathetic tears or Granger and her fake sorrow and Hayden and his fake little kiss. I wanted to leave and start over. And yet I had only done one wrong thing to make me feel this way.

Quickly finishing my wash up, I turned the water off and grabbed my towel. Deciding on actually looking presentable today, I turned my head over and blew dry the tangle mass. It seemed like forever once my hair was dry and slightly wavy. Now I remembered why I never did my hair.

I finished my morning routine and hurried to my room, trying not to forget to actually wake my brother this morning. I dropped my towel and put on my undergarments. I opened my closet and chose to wear a pair of bleached blue jeans and a dark blue v-neck with my old moccasins.

Rarely had I cared about anything more in the morning. I took my phone from the nightstand, not even bothering to check my messages and walked down the hall to wake my brother.

I opened his door and noticed that he had already been dressed and sitting on his bed waiting for me. “Morning little sister. Ready for school?” He flashed me one of his charming little smiles and stood from his messy bed.

“Since when are you ever ready for school?” I asked as we made our way down the steps. This morning we skipped breakfast and headed straight for hell on Earth. My brother and I walked slowly and talked for a while.

After a moment or so of silence Jason opened his mouth and looked at me. “Have you seen Facebook?” I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. Why would I? I barely go on there even when I receive a notification on my phone. “Twitter?” Again I hadn’t been on due to my overly non busy life. “Text messages…?” Nope. I didn’t even glance at my phone this morning.

“I suggest you take a look. But don’t take it to heart. I’ll fuck anyone up for you if you want me to.” I already had a feeling what this was. Grangers revenge, her way of getting back at me for sleeping with Holden. I didn’t want to look, but I knew sooner or later it would catch up to me.

Though I knew Jason wouldn’t dare talk to Granger about this little fiasco. He was my brother, of course he didn’t know that I had slept with Holden. But it was pretty clear now that I had. It doesn’t help that he’s had a crush on Granger since she and I had been friends.

“So I guess you know what happened now.” I muttered, looking down at my old worn out shoes as we walked.

“I only know what you tell me. And that would be the truth.” Jason smiled at me and poked my nose,

“Now look at your phone and explain all this stupid drama to me and tell me who I have to punch in the face. I’d love to kick Hayden Jak right in his nose.” Jason smiled and balled up his fist like he was ready for a fight.

I smiled and took my phone from my pocket. Over a hundred from Facebook, Twitter, and my text messages each. I unlocked my phone and saw that each were calling me a slut, a whore, tell me to die and go to hell for what I had done. All I did was sleep with the most popular girl in schools boyfriend. How bad could that be? Was it because I had betrayed my best friend. Of course I deserved this. But Granger deserved what was coming to her way more than what I’ve come in contact to.

“So…” Jason nudged me. I looked up from my phone and turned it off. I smiled at my brother and pretended it was nothing. That I hadn’t just gotten attacked my so called ex best friend. I looked up ahead of us and saw that school was just in a moments reach.

I turned to Jason and grabbed his shoulders. “Yes, I slept with Holden. But please, whatever you do don’t beat anyone up. That’s the only truth. I slept with Holden Saturday at Hayden Jaks party and I betrayed my only friend.” I sighed and looked my older brother in the eyes. “Oh and please, don’t tell mom and dad.”

Jason laughed and nudged my nose, “You didn’t tell mom and dad when I smoked out in the house and I won’t tell them that you finally got some balls. I love you little sis. Just don’t go around being a slut so I really won’t have to beat someone up.” I laughed and Jason shrugged, he gave me a hug and told me he’d find me later in the evening.

I held my head up high and made my way up the high school steps. With each step I took someone on either side of me was pointing, laughing, and gossiping. What else could I have done for them to hate me as much as they do now?

Last year Gracie Jones had slept with her boyfriend’s best friend. She was praised, idled. Everyone had loved her even more than before she became a back stabbing whore. Yet, here I was, the laughing stock of the school, all because I slept with my best friend’s boyfriend.

The worse was she wasn’t even my best friend. Here everyone was on her side. She cheated, lied, back stabbed and everyone still wanted to be her. Everyone loved her. No one knew me. They just knew I slept with Holden.

Here in the real world no one cared weather you’ve done right. No one cared if you believed in God and had done charity work. They only gave you a second thought once you’ve done something bad. When you were bad you were undesirable, irresistible, everyone wanted you and wanted to be you.
This world wasn’t meant for the good, on the sinners and the killers. And here I was standing in front of my locker, on both sides, a sinner and an angel. Fuck, I just wanted to get out here.

I sighed and turned the dial on the locker, letting it swing open. I took my needed books out the confined metal cubby and into my folded arms. I slammed my locker shut and turned to my classroom, only to collide with the one person I didn’t want to see.

“How are you?” Hayden asked. Yes, out of all the people in this school I didn’t want to see the only person I really had a crush on for the past four years. The one who kissed me just hours before. Yes, he had perfect hair, and eyes, lips, body, defined sculpted cheekbones and jawline, and my God was he attractive. I hated his boy standing in front of me. Hated him for making me fall for his looks and never his personality.

“Why do you ask?” I asked, walking past him and on to my next class. Never had I wanted to get to Mr. Luca’s class fast enough. The short fat man could be my savior from this cute boy standing near me.

“Well how could you be okay with all this shit going on?” He pursued. “How can you pretend to be alright with everyone calling you a slut?”

“Well I don’t care. It’s the truth. I’m a slut. I slept with my best friend’s boyfriend at your party.” I stopped at our classroom and turned to Hayden, “Why do you care anyhow? Since when did you care about anything other than your hair?”

Hayden’s facial structure changed. His face tightened, like I caught him in a lie. Oh, so he cared about his hair and his body, I get it. “I don’t. I just wanted to ask and see if you were alright.” He shrugged his shoulders and reached behind his head to stretch his arms. I really wish he didn’t do that, it made it that much more hard to stop staring at him.

“Thanks, but don’t. I can take care of myself.” I turned on my heel and quickly entered Mr. Luca’s class room. When I took my seat the fat man commented on how I’d finally been early to his class. I ignored him and all the others glaring at me from their seats.

Hayden took a seat next to me in no time. I put my ear buds in and began with my work.

▲▼▲▼

Finally the final bell ring, I sprang from my seat and hurried down the hall to my locker to put my textbooks back and grab a couple other things. I did my locker routine once I got there, right, and left, right, pull… After the last pull spilled out papers, condoms, pictures, toilet paper? Thousands of little ugly trinkets were on the floor.

Each picture had my face in it, each had a red X marked through my face and whore written on papers and toilet paper telling me to clean up my act. How had I been refined as the school whore in less than one week?

I sighed, this could go on for the rest of the school year. Longer possibly. I grabbed my books and slammed my locker shut. I bent down, grabbing the trash on the floor and throwing them in a nearby trash can. When I looked up, finally ready to get home and just sleep until the next day I saw the devil herself standing in front of me.

“Aw, you didn’t like my little present?” Granger asked with a vicious smile plastered on her porcelain face.

“What do you want Granger?” I asked, I didn’t want this as much as her. Then again she did love a good fight.

“I want you to suffer! You were supposed to be my best friend! My freaking soul sister. And you repay me by sleeping with Holden? How could you?” I could see the tears running down her cheeks and into her wide open mouth. Damn did she look ugly when she cried. Wait, were those real tears?

I bit my lip, refraining from the waterfall that tried to escape my own eyes. “You deserved it! You cheated while you were with Holden, with a new guy nearly every other week. And you think I deserve this? Being called a slut?”

Granger opened her mouth to say more, but I stopped her there, “No, you think we were actually friends? Every chance you had you insulted me, manipulated me. We were never friends. I was always holding you back from being where you wanted to be, and now you’re here. On the top. You finally got your wish Granger, I’m out of your life.” I shrugged my shoulders and held on to my bag, speed walking out the school and into the parking lot where I waited to meet my brother.

I looked around and made sure no one was in a clear view. Once I knew the coast was clear I sobbed, a heart wrenching, teeth clenching kind of sob. I couldn’t stop and the tears and snot almost made a puddle in my very own hands.

Fuck, I was crying and in public. The only thing I promised myself I’d never do. And I couldn’t stop, the tears just kept coming and flowing. Nothing would stop me, and here I was crying over something that didn’t even matter. It didn’t matter that I had no friends or that the whole school was calling me a whore. I knew the truth, and it didn’t matter if no one else believed me.

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. I heard footsteps coming towards me, I smiled, finally a light at the end of the tunnel, my brother was coming and I could finally go home. I turned, ready for the hug that Jason always gave me at the end of a hard day.

But this time I wasn’t greeted with a hug and the short blonde hair of my brother. Or the bright smile he and I shared. I saw the one person I didn’t want to see but the same person who was always in my deepest fantasies. Hayden came towards me and grabbed me by the arm. Without a word he led me to his car and opened the door.

“How many times are you going to kidnap me?” I asked, he shrugged and got in the car himself. I got into the passenger seat and set my bag in his pick-up truck. Hayden made sure I was in the car and had my seat belt on before he took off.

“Fine, how long will it take you to stop doing this? Kissing me when I don’t need to be kissed, charming me when I don’t want you near me. When are you-”

Hayden stopped my mid-sentence and slammed his foot on the breaks, “I’ll stop when you finally realize you need someone.” He nearly growled at me. Lord, did he look good when he was angry. Jesus, snap out of it Anna, you don’t need his gorgeous sex god.

I looked him straight in the eye, “I. Don’t. Need. You.” I took a deep breath, here come the water works, “I don’t need anybody in my life that doesn’t want to be there. When did you start caring Hayden Jak? Where did you get your heart?”

“I don’t care.” He nearly whispered, keeping his head down low but his eyes on mine.

“Then stop pretending like you do! My life is already a mess I don’t need another catastrophe walking in. Better yet why aren’t you there, pointing and laughing me like the others? You’re one of them, you used to make fun of me. Calling me a Jesus freak. And now you suddenly care. Forget Holden and his stupid promises to make me feel better. Take you fake sympathy and shove it down your throat Hayden.”

The salty tears had started again. I took off my seat belt and hopped out the car. I slammed the car door shut, shoving my bag back on my shoulder. I could walk from here. My house was only a couple more lawns away.

“Stay away Hayden. Stop taking Holden’s advice. The only thing I’m good for is ruining lives. Soon it’ll be yours too.”