Acrasia

The car ride from Kid's house was cast in an awkward haze, and the next couple of days were similar. They holed themselves up in a shitty motel and ate food wrapped in tinfoil and wax paper and hated every minute of it. Rae wanted to go and find Kid's parents and then settle down somewhere at least until Britney had her baby. Somewhere quiet where no one knew their names. She just wanted to be able to have a consistent doctor through the whole pregnancy, and for Tyler to be home safe. After that... she didn't know. 

The money Marissa had given them was enough for them to settle down in that house comfortably, even supporting Britney and the baby for as long as necessary. Hell, she figured they could probably settle down as is with all five and a half of them and be okay until Chris was working and Rae and Jeremy found jobs of their own. One of the documents, Rae had seen, was a prewritten resume under Rae's name that listed her as having a bachelor's degree in psychology from University of the Pacific, the same thing she was just short of graduating with in New York. She could go back to school to get her master's, or she could find someone who would hire her with just that when the baby came. 

But Marissa had warned her about trying all of this too soon. Chris wouldn't go for it until he knew they were safe. And as far as he was concerned, they weren't. 

She tried mapping out their next moves but, until they found Tyler's parents, there wasn't much they could do. So she gave up after a while, kind of hoping Chris or Jeremy would come up with something, but they never did. They ended up wasting four days sitting in that motel room, all the while awkward and quiet and unsure. And just to top it all off, for some reason Chris had made it a mission to find a way into her pants. She was really just glad to see that, while they stayed a safe distance from each other, there was less tension between kid and Britney. 

She pulled Chris aside, taking him halfway down the stairwell. He seemed to think she was pulling him away for sexy time or something and kept his hands firmly on her hips. She shook him off and faced him with a frown. 

"What are we doing?" Rae asked. 

"Uhm, well I thought we were talking," he replied. The corner of his mouth tipped up into a lopsided grin. "Or we don't have to."

She rolled her eyes. "You are so dense, sometimes I can't even handle you."

"What?" he asked, his smile slipping. She tilted her head and glared at him. "Don't look at me like that. C'mon Rae. What's the problem."

"Chris! What isn't the problem? First, we're on the run from not only two groups of serial killers, but what may be a violent child trafficking ring. The only people who seem to know where we're at and what we're doing are the people trying to kill us, and everyone else is oblivious. Second, we're caring for two minors, one of them pregnant with a child that we are going to raise on our own when I'm barely in my mid twenties. Third, we gotta find Kid's parents without alerting the authorities, which i think is bullshit. I love him like an awkward little brother but I'm left wondering why we don't just drop him at a police station and run. And  as if that wasn't enough shit, we seem to keep forgetting what I did. That I'm a murderer." She hugged herself. "I killed someone."

Chris's mouth opened and then closed. He was at a loss for words. All he managed was, "Rae..." Because he didn't know what else to do, he put his arms around her and said, "It isn't your fault. It was self defense."

She pushed him away. "Bullshit. It was my fault. The gun didn't explode. I pulled the trigger. I killed him. And fuck self defense. Do you think George didn't kill you on accident? Fuck that. He could have shot you execution style from thirty yards away while you were running erratic zig zags. I feel like the fact that he shot you where it wouldn't kill you when he had utter control over the situation says something. I killed the man who saved your life." Her throat was constricted and her chest felt like it was under a ton of bricks, but she was surprised to find her eyes weren't wet. She didn't need to cry at all. 

Chris said her name again and she just shook her head. "I'm tired of this. You and Jeremy need to figure this out soon, or I have to leave you guys. And I'm taking Britney with me." She turned and walked down the stairs. 

"Where are you going, Rae?" he asked sadly. 

"For a walk. I'll be back soon." She didn't think Chris believed her.