Happily Ever After

Tap, Tap, Tap. My small feet carry me away from the apartment that I know so well. Away from my happiness. Away from my everything. Away from him. With every step, my already battered heart takes another thundering wave of pain. My body feels like it's shattering, falling apart, and there's not a thing I can do about it. My eyesight is being blinded by tears that threaten to spill if I give the slightest waver of emotion. I'm shaking, knees almost buckling beneath me. It's as if I'm being slowly surrounded by darkness, a cloud making its way around me, enveloped by its dark, freezing era. The distance I've made between myself and the only place I could ever find true comfort is short enough to make me almost swirl around and dash back into the arms of the man standing behind the door. But I can't. I know I can't. His face flashes in my mind, before I can stop it. His brown hair, slightly tanned skin, perfect features, and adorable dimples. And finally my favorite thing about him... His beautiful eyes. Chocolaty brown, bright enough in some lighting to seem almost hazel. Dark enough to seem nearly black in others. They always intrigued me. The smiling face in my mind slowly fades into one of pain, shock and confusion. Frantically trying to sputter words of pleading out. The one I had witnessed moments ago, the first time I had ever seen such pain flood into those beautiful eyes. As this flashes through my mind I dart to the opening elevator and barely step through the threshold before I collapse onto the empty surface, thundering shakes wrack through-out my small frame. The tears that had been threatening to spill since I walked away from him spill endlessly down my face, my mascara washing away, leaving light gray trails behind. Strangled cries escape my tightened throat. Within the minute ride down the elevator I managed to compose myself enough to only look completely exhausted.
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I'm Mariah Harris. I'm almost 20 years old and going through my first complete and utter heartbreak. And it's probably one of the most painful things I've been through. The cause of this, you may be asking? Well I'm not going to sugar coat it. It's my own fault. For my own reasons. Simply for him to be happy. Us being together causes too much stress for him. I convinced myself, if I truly loved him then I would have to make his life the best I can. And that solution was to let him go. While he's hurting now, I'm sure that he'll be fine soon. No, I know he will. He'll find the perfect girl, one far more deserving of him then I ever was. He'll look back on the months we had together and maybe smile, because I do know he's loved me more than anyone else has. Many things have led up to me making this decision though. It had to. I wouldn't have done this. Daniel Howell. The man that's made me broken of my own accord. The man that loved me for me, and welcomed me to London when I first came here. My best-friend, my love, my happily-ever-after-gone-wrong. The only thing to sum him up, my everything. I'm Mariah Harris, and this is my story of how the broken girl your reading of right now came to be.