I'm Slowly Drowning

As I woke up around noon the next day, Andy was already out, him and the guys should start the recording for their new album today and we weren't allowed to be there the first week since some if the songs was a secret, pffth, bullshit. I couldn't go without Andy for an entire week...

I checked my phone as I woke up, I'd gotten a text message from an unknown number:

"Hey, ehm, my mom told me to text this number, being all secretive about who it is, she just told me to say that I'm Clarissa's son, sorry if I'm bugging :)" it read.

"I'm glad you texted me! My name's Alexandra, and your mom helped me out a lot yesterday when I was in a huge danger for my life since I got in to close contact with peanuts (which I'm really allergic to) x)"

I quickly checked twitter on my iPod to find a bunch of the usual tweets from fans and tweet from Andy.

'Gonna miss my babe @AlexSCollin while recording all day, you're some lucky fans x)' I laughed and responded quickly.

'@AndyBVB get back here then? The bed is so cold now :c Can't wait to see you later! x'

I dropped my iPod and phone on the bed and pulled on some sweatpants and a simple black tank top before I made my way into the kitchen and made myself some breakfast which I ate quickly and made my way back into my room and grappled my bass, planning on playing for a bit, but before I got the chance, my phone buzzed and I put the bass down and grabbed the phone.

"You have a beautiful name, I'm Shane :) But I don't see how texting me could thank my mom?"

"Well thank you :) not as beautiful as yours though ^^You see, my boyfriend is currently recording, his band is making a new album and we'd like to invite you to come to the little concert they're throwing to find out what people think about the new album, since your mom said that you’re a fan."

"No way... You're not THAT Alexandra?! The Alexandra as in dating Andy Biersack?" I laughed at the reply.

"I am, and we'd love for you to come and see the show :)"

"Wow, I'm so happy right now! (And fan-girling a bit) I'd really love to come, this is like my biggest dream coming true!" He wrote back, rather quickly

"I'm glad about that, and I know how it feels, I honestly couldn't believe it when I was chosen as a winner and I still have a hard time in believing it" I texted back.

We just kept on texting like that, he was really nice, 17 years old, keyboard player and vocalist.

When Andy finally got home around 8pm, I told him about Shane and that he'd accepted the offer.

Andy smiled at it and the evening passed by as usual, the time was going too fast.

My last thought before drifting off to sleep was 19 days.

--- c: ----

I woke up in an empty bed the next day also, but quickly got company as Jamie knocked the door lightly and opened at a bit, peeking in.

"Alex, ehm, can I talk with you?" She asked, I instantly started to wonder about what happened to the Jamie I knew but I wouldn't ruin how nice she acted at the moment so I just nod and she made her way into the room, closing the door after herself as she sat down on my bed next to me.

"I'm... I'm so sorry, Alex, I've been a total bitch to you" she whispered with a slightly trembling voice.

Jamie's POV

Alex didn't answer me so I continued.

"I-I have some problems and I let them out on you, desperately trying to get what I wanted." I continued, now when I first got it started, I wouldn't want to stop again so before she got a chance to say anything, I continued.

"I'm @BlackVeilBridesLoveXXX, and I was the one who found your razors, I was also the reason why you ended up in the hospital yesterday" I said, with tears running down my cheeks by now.

"I'm so sorry, Alex, I really am, but I was just so blinded by my goal to realize what I was doing and how much I hurt you." I was sobbing now, without daring to look at Alex.

"Y-you see, I-I saw this as a ch-chance to get away, I figured that if I could get with Andy, then I could move to LA and I'd never have to go back to my abusive father and the trail of horrible boyfriends that's still trying to get to me, I was so desperate and because of that, I nearly killed the first person who actually treated me well even though I was a bitch towards her!" I sobbed, unable to stop.

"I'm s-so so sorry, truly, I am... I just, I was desperate." I continued, I needed her to answer me, to yell at me that I was a big idiot and for us to just get it over with.

Alex's POV

I was shocked and I didn't know how to react, but my body reacted on its own and I wrapped my arms around her crying body, it was so weird, I should be mad at her, right? Yet, I wasn't mad at her at all, I just felt really bad for her, and wanted to help her.

"Why don't you yell at me?" She asked quietly after a long silence.

"Why would I yell, yelling never work when someone's down, I'm glad that you decided to tell me and no matter how illogical it sounds, I'm not mad at you" I said and smiled at her, I wasn't mad at her, I was actually kinda glad to finally know why she'd been such a bitch towards me.

"Yeah, it sounds irrational to not be mad at me" she chuckled, again breaking down and sobbing into my shoulder. "I'm so sorry Alex, how is it possible to be so nice? How can you possibly just accept this?" She mumbled.

"I don't know, but it wouldn't help anyone to be mad at each other, right?"

"I guess so." She mumbled.

We spend almost all day in my bed, just talking and I got to know more about her, she was actually a really nice girl and after a bit, she admitted that her feeling for Andy was pure desperation and that she was more touched by Ashley's comments than she let herself show.

We got some weird gazes from Max when we finally emerged from the room and decided to make some dinner together, also Andy gave us weird gazes when he got home.

After we ate, Jamie confessed her sins to Andy and Max as well, Andy looked really pissed but got over it easily since I'd accepted her apology.

Again, I cuddled with Andy in bed a bit before I drifted off to sleep. 18 days.

--- c: ---

Another week passed by, and Andy was gone all day every day, I couldn't shake the thought off me that the time was passing by way too quickly, I really didn't want to lose Andy, I couldn't lose him.

Today though was finally a bit out of the ordinary, Shane and I was actually becoming pretty close friends and he'd come over.

I changed into a pair of black skinny jeans, did my makeup, put on my usual jewelry and one of my BVB T-shirts, and I wasn't more than just finished getting changed as the doorbell rang and I ran out to open it.

Max's POV

I knew that Alex had a friend over but I didn't expect it to be a guy from the way she talked about him, never mention any names though or genders.

The boy standing in the door when Alex opened, was around 6', with a good style in clothes, grey eyes and shoulder length brown hair with green highlights in his bangs, I was just staring at him but I couldn't help it, he seemed so... Special?

He hugged Alex with a cheeky smile and she led him into the apartment, first introducing him to Jamie and then me.

"H-hi" I stumbled, and met his eyes, wow, I'd never experienced this, it was just like there was some sort of contact between us.

"Hi, I'm Shane" he smiled and shook my hand, I felt sparkles, no, that was just something people said to make it sound romantic right, yet, I still felt something.

Alex's eyes met mine and she smirked at me, telling me that she knew something I didn't know.

"You want to watch a movie?" She asked Shane who approved with a nod. "What about you, Max?"

"I guess, I don't have anything else to do anyways." I said and smiled.

"Can't we watch Star Wars two or three?" Shane suddenly pleaded when he found them, "it'll give me a chance to look at Anakin's smexy ass" he laughed and I stared at Alex who chuckled, no way, Shane couldn't be gay, could he?! Did that mean that I actually had a chance?!

We decided to watch Star Wars two since none of us wanted to end up crying while watching the third movie.

After the movie ended, we just talked and around 6, Alex decided to mix together something to eat.

I really liked Shane, he was funny, adorable, most likely talented, really nice and just incredibly sexy.

Alex's POV

Andy got home around 6:30 and out of the ordinary, I decided to tackle him. I jumped at him with a giggle, wrapped my legs around his torso and my arms around his neck.

"Whoa, someone's filled with energy today" he laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist before he pressed his lips against mine, god, I needed to be with him more than I had the past week.

"I've missed you, Lion!" I whined as we broke apart again and he sat me down on the dining table, "no matter if you want or not, I'm gonna follow you to recording tomorrow, cause I'm dying of boredom here" I pouted, really letting out my inner child and acting like one that couldn’t be older than five.

"Mmmm? You sure about that?" He asked and kissed me softly again. I giggled at him and nodded with a smile. "But since we have the weekend off, I just think you'd be even more bored there" he laughed.

"Gah, I'll come up with something to do" I said "oh, btw, we have a guest" I continued and jumped down from the table as Andy looked over at the couch.

The cool facade Shane had, broke down entirely and he just stuttered, trying to get some words out, but without any success.

I realized that I had to return my attention to the cooking so I didn't get a chance to observe how Shane reacted when he met Andy in person.

While standing there, just basically cooking, I realized how much I'd actually changed, I hadn't touched my razors for almost a month and I'd actually started to get beck my dreams, the good ones, the nightmares disappeared. I'd also matured a lot and I was more sure about myself.

We invited the rest of the band over again, and I found an amusement in watching Shane, when he met his idols and their girlfriends, in Jinxx case fiancée.

Ashley also got along with Jamie, they looked so cute together, they'd just be such a sweet couple if one of them had the guts to admit their feelings, which I knew was really hard for both of them.

It was way past midnight before everyone left, and Clarissa came to pick up Shane, who embarrassed confessed that he didn't have a driver’s license or a car yet.

I quickly stripped down to my underwear and crawled into bed, not bothered to wear a pyjamas, no, Andy and I haven't had sex yet and he wasn't a person to put a press on me about it, he just waited till I was ready, but even though we hadn't had sex, I was still comfortable around him, and I'd come to realize that I didn't have to be so worried around him.

I sighed as Andy got into bed next to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"What's wrong, babe?" He whispered, I turned around in his embrace so that we were facing each other.

"I'm just thinking" I mumbled "time has passed by so quickly and I feel like it’s running out"

"We have oceans of time though" Andy said and pulled me closer into his embrace, but I knew that we didn't, I had to eventually tell him that I'd have to leave.

"I love you" I whispered, changing the subject, since it was too painful to know that I'd be leaving him.

"I love you more" he laughed back and pressed his lips against mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss and pressing out nearly naked bodies together as Andy stroke his hands down my sides and tightened his grip around my hips pressing our bodies closer than I'd think possible.

"A-Andy" I gasped as we broke apart for air.

"Mmm?"

"I... I'm ready" I mumbled and pressed my lips against his again. I could feel his excitement grow, but he put aside his needs.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked, staring into my eyes with a serious look on his face.

"Absolutely" I whispered and pressed my lips more forcefully against his again, rubbing his chest lightly.

"God, I love you" he mumbled, trough the kiss and took the lead.

10 days.