Status: Finished! The sequal will come as soon as possible :)
I'm Slowly Drowning
We'll brave this storm
After we were picked up, we ordered some pizzas and ate them together at in the band’s bus. Jake ate twice as much as everybody else; I guess all those rumours about him eating a lot were true then? After that, we chatted and watched some movies before Max and I headed onto our own van for the night. I think it was the same exact moment as we entered the bus, Max attacked me with questions like ‘you’re sosososo in love with him right?’, ‘I’m sure you had lots of fun today’ (said with a smirk and a wink), ‘you’d totally be so cute together you know!’ and ‘tell me, tell me, tell me! Plz?!’
I shook my head and tossed myself in the couch inside our living room. I was so happy, yet, I was so sad, filled with anger and meaningless sorrow. I didn’t deserve to feel this happy, did I? My mind started to wander and all of a sudden, I just wanted to be alone, I hated to let other people see my weakness. Max sat down next to me and looked at me with begging eyes, he wanted to know something, but I didn’t get what he meant, I’d not really listened to his questions so I was a bit confused to say at least. Though my confusion couldn’t fill in for the sadness, which meant, it was still there, tearing me apart at the moment.
I looked away from Max, getting off the couch and stumbling towards the bunks, “I’m gonna go to sleep, I’m tired” I mumbled, fighting back the urge to break down and cry, I couldn’t let him see, I couldn’t let them believe that I was another of those broken girls, hurting herself in an attempt to escape her own crushing thoughts. Before Max even got the chance to answer me, I was in the other room, searching towards my stuff until I found my toilet bag, a tank top and a pair of pj’s. I hurried into the little bathroom and shut the door behind me, as tears started to run down my cheeks. I leant back towards the door and my legs collapsed underneath me, so I was sitting on the floor, crying silence tears.
I heard Max outside the door asking if I was okay, I didn’t answer him, if I opened my mouth I would just start sobbing for real and then I’d have to punish myself for letting him see my weaknesses. After some minutes, I couldn’t hear him anymore and I decided to move from my spot. I got up and quickly changed into my pj’s and tank top, as I opened my toilet bag and looked through the things to find some face lotion, with the purpose to hide the fact that I’d been crying, I suddenly heard voices in the bus again.
Before I knew it, the door was burst open and six men were standing in the opening, looking at me like I was supposed to be dead, bleeding out on the floor. Apparently Andy were the one who’d gotten the door up cause he was standing in front of the others, he looked really relieved and sent me a slight smile until his face got that worried look. “Hey Alex, you okay?” he asked, I looked myself in the mirror, my makeup was smeared all over my face, my nose were red and my eyes were puffy and red, it was so obvious that I’d been crying.
I looked down, without answering, I wasn’t ready to explain it to all of them, and I wouldn’t ever be. Andy looked back at the guys and soon they were all walking out of the bus, leaving Andy and I alone, he walked over till me and wrapped his arms around me. I then realised, I’d just ruined this perfect day for everybody; that thought brought back the tears and soon I broke down in Andy’s arms, sobbing into his chest. Meanwhile, Andy was just there, stroking my hair and holding me in a warm and comforting embrace.
When my sobs were finally calming down, he picked me up and carried me into my bunk, the bottom one on the right. He sat down next to me but I couldn’t get myself to look at him, “I’m sorry” I mumbled, not wanting to cry again. “Don’t worry about it, Lex, I just want to make sure you’re okay” I gave him a vague smile, and a little giggle escaped my mouth, “Lex?” I asked and raised an eyebrow. Surprisingly, Andy blushed, what? I convinced myself that it were my brain playing ticks on me again. “I... ehm, I just think it was easier and kinda... ehm... cute?” he said, this time it was my turn to blush; tho I didn’t know if it was visable in my tomato red face, after the crying.
We sat in silence, just looking at each other for a while, Andy looked at the time on his phone and cleared his throat. “Its way past midnight, and have to drive soon, so I guess... I’ll head towards my own bus.” He said, looking down. I like him, looked down “K, see you tomorrow then.” I answered, Andy got up and before leaving the room, he hesitated a moment in the door, but left in the end calling “G’night Lex!” That warm feeling overwhelmed me again, and sad at the same time, this time I just decided to suppress it and go to sleep. Funny enough, my dreams were haunted by one specific person, Andrew Dennis Biersack.
Andy:
I didn’t want to leave her, I really didn’t. “G’night Lex!” I called trough the bus before exciting it and walking towards my own, when I walked into it, five pair of eyes fell on me right away. I sighted and pushed some hair out of my face before smiling at the guys, “Lex... ehm, Alex is okay, she went to sleep.” I said. Ashley and Max gave me those looks but I ignored them. “You can go back now Max, but let Alex sleep” Max nodded, then I turned to the guys, “I’m gonna get some sleep myself, see ya tomorrow.” Then I walked directly into the sleep area, climbed into my bunk and fell asleep right away, dreaming about Lex, worrying about her... Why had she been crying? At least she didn’t cut like Max suspected, but she’d been crying, why?
I shook my head and tossed myself in the couch inside our living room. I was so happy, yet, I was so sad, filled with anger and meaningless sorrow. I didn’t deserve to feel this happy, did I? My mind started to wander and all of a sudden, I just wanted to be alone, I hated to let other people see my weakness. Max sat down next to me and looked at me with begging eyes, he wanted to know something, but I didn’t get what he meant, I’d not really listened to his questions so I was a bit confused to say at least. Though my confusion couldn’t fill in for the sadness, which meant, it was still there, tearing me apart at the moment.
I looked away from Max, getting off the couch and stumbling towards the bunks, “I’m gonna go to sleep, I’m tired” I mumbled, fighting back the urge to break down and cry, I couldn’t let him see, I couldn’t let them believe that I was another of those broken girls, hurting herself in an attempt to escape her own crushing thoughts. Before Max even got the chance to answer me, I was in the other room, searching towards my stuff until I found my toilet bag, a tank top and a pair of pj’s. I hurried into the little bathroom and shut the door behind me, as tears started to run down my cheeks. I leant back towards the door and my legs collapsed underneath me, so I was sitting on the floor, crying silence tears.
I heard Max outside the door asking if I was okay, I didn’t answer him, if I opened my mouth I would just start sobbing for real and then I’d have to punish myself for letting him see my weaknesses. After some minutes, I couldn’t hear him anymore and I decided to move from my spot. I got up and quickly changed into my pj’s and tank top, as I opened my toilet bag and looked through the things to find some face lotion, with the purpose to hide the fact that I’d been crying, I suddenly heard voices in the bus again.
Before I knew it, the door was burst open and six men were standing in the opening, looking at me like I was supposed to be dead, bleeding out on the floor. Apparently Andy were the one who’d gotten the door up cause he was standing in front of the others, he looked really relieved and sent me a slight smile until his face got that worried look. “Hey Alex, you okay?” he asked, I looked myself in the mirror, my makeup was smeared all over my face, my nose were red and my eyes were puffy and red, it was so obvious that I’d been crying.
I looked down, without answering, I wasn’t ready to explain it to all of them, and I wouldn’t ever be. Andy looked back at the guys and soon they were all walking out of the bus, leaving Andy and I alone, he walked over till me and wrapped his arms around me. I then realised, I’d just ruined this perfect day for everybody; that thought brought back the tears and soon I broke down in Andy’s arms, sobbing into his chest. Meanwhile, Andy was just there, stroking my hair and holding me in a warm and comforting embrace.
When my sobs were finally calming down, he picked me up and carried me into my bunk, the bottom one on the right. He sat down next to me but I couldn’t get myself to look at him, “I’m sorry” I mumbled, not wanting to cry again. “Don’t worry about it, Lex, I just want to make sure you’re okay” I gave him a vague smile, and a little giggle escaped my mouth, “Lex?” I asked and raised an eyebrow. Surprisingly, Andy blushed, what? I convinced myself that it were my brain playing ticks on me again. “I... ehm, I just think it was easier and kinda... ehm... cute?” he said, this time it was my turn to blush; tho I didn’t know if it was visable in my tomato red face, after the crying.
We sat in silence, just looking at each other for a while, Andy looked at the time on his phone and cleared his throat. “Its way past midnight, and have to drive soon, so I guess... I’ll head towards my own bus.” He said, looking down. I like him, looked down “K, see you tomorrow then.” I answered, Andy got up and before leaving the room, he hesitated a moment in the door, but left in the end calling “G’night Lex!” That warm feeling overwhelmed me again, and sad at the same time, this time I just decided to suppress it and go to sleep. Funny enough, my dreams were haunted by one specific person, Andrew Dennis Biersack.
Andy:
I didn’t want to leave her, I really didn’t. “G’night Lex!” I called trough the bus before exciting it and walking towards my own, when I walked into it, five pair of eyes fell on me right away. I sighted and pushed some hair out of my face before smiling at the guys, “Lex... ehm, Alex is okay, she went to sleep.” I said. Ashley and Max gave me those looks but I ignored them. “You can go back now Max, but let Alex sleep” Max nodded, then I turned to the guys, “I’m gonna get some sleep myself, see ya tomorrow.” Then I walked directly into the sleep area, climbed into my bunk and fell asleep right away, dreaming about Lex, worrying about her... Why had she been crying? At least she didn’t cut like Max suspected, but she’d been crying, why?