Status: Finished! The sequal will come as soon as possible :)
I'm Slowly Drowning
An Illusion You Hide Behind
I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling really uncomfortable. Then I realised that there were an arm wrapped around me and for some reason I started to panic. I knew that Andy wouldn't hurt me and I trusted him but for some reason, the position with him wrapping his arms around me like this made me feel really uncomfortable and scared, panic running through my body without any reason I could mention. I violently fought my way out of his arms, happy that he was still in a deep heavy sleep. For some reason I wanted to cry, I didn't know if it was the panic or if it was my depression or happiness over the fact that Andy and I'd been sleeping in the same bed, cuddling together.
I found it too late to walk around in the hallways so I decided upon the couch to sleep on. I tossed myself on the couch and let go of the silence confused tears that had been stinging in my eyes since I’d escaped Andy’s arms, my mind were a huge mess, happiness, sadness and fear blended together into one big cupcake, so bad that if you ate it, it'd probably kill you... Don't ask why I chose to use a cupcake. Luckily though, at thus trouble, I managed to fall asleep, curled into a ball with my eyeliner smeared all over my face, I should really get a waterproof one... And sleep proof... I wonder if that even excited?
You know, being forced out of bed - or in my case; couch - is awful, being forced out of bed by a giant howl from a ferry announcing for you to be in your car in less than 30 minutes is really horrible.
That's how we woke up, or how I woke up for the second time. Apparently the trip was shorter than we'd thought and we'd slept till around noon. The loud sound woke up the three of us at once, Andy got a chock huge enough to fall down from the bed, wrapped in the blankets he tried to fight his way up from the floor. Max and I couldn't help but laugh at him, and we stood there laughing until someone started pounding at the door, followed by Jake’s voice yelling at us that we had 25 minutes to gather all our stuff and get in the bus.
Andy and Max had given me confused gazes when they found me sitting on the couch instead of Andy’s bed, but luckily, they didn’t get enough time to question it, we were in a hurry. Max jumped up and started running around, Andy still fighting his way out of the blankets and I storming out of the door passing Jake and CC, getting some weird gazes from them. They were probably wondering what I'd been doing in Max' and Andy's room, but like the case with me sleeping on the couch, there weren’t enough time to answer whatever weird questions they could come up with.
I didn't really get time to think about the fact that I’d woken up almost crying because Andy and I'd just slept in the same bed, or just basically the fact that Andy and I’d just slept in the same bed. I didn't get time to think about anything actually. And as a total chock for myself, within 20 minutes I stormed into the elevator and pressed the buttons for it to go down and within 25 minutes I were standing outside of the fan-van... That rimed... Fan-van...
But yeah, I got onto the bus/van thingy and dropped my stuff before I walked out again and made it to the guys’ bus with only two minutes left. In the guys’ bus were Ash, Jake, CC, Jinxx, Jon and their bus driver already sitting, only waiting for Andy, Max and me, and since I was there now, we only needed Andy and Max. I let myself drop down in one of the armchairs and exactly two minutes later arrived Andy and Max, panting for their breaths, it seemed that they’d been running down the stairs to get here in time ‘cause the elevators were occupied.
I brought out my phone and checked for messages, but the only ones I’d gotten were my parents texting me almost every single hour, asking about how I were and if there were happening something exciting, honestly, I’d been away from home for a little more than 48 hours now, they had to relax a bit. I mean, I was 18, I was a grown up, I could decide for myself, they didn’t have to treat me like I was still eight, though, they’d always done that so far back I could remember. I guess my parents were just the overprotective types?
I was snapped out of my thoughts by someone asking my name, I looked up to find out that it was Max who’d been speaking while the band disgusted something about their concert the same evening. Max smiled excited at me “we’re in ENGLAND!” he screeched and jumped up and down in the other armchair which he’d claimed. It was pretty amusing that the two smallest persons had claimed the armchairs, leaving the band and Jon to squeeze together on the couches. Max screeched again as the bus drove out of the ship, which meant that we were actually on English ground now! I gave Max a look that probably reminded a bit like his, “we’re in fucking England!” I screeched back like some little girl or just one of those annoying princess-fluffy-perfect-girls who thought they owned the entire world and could do like they wanted.
The first city the guys should throw a concert in laid 10 minutes away from the harbour so after finally getting out of the harbour which took around 15 minutes and driving for ten minutes, we finally arrived at a venue where the concert was supposed to be held. Max and I helped the stage workers setting the stage and after that we rushed down to the guys’ dressing room where we found them working on their makeup and hair before the show in two hours. I decided to take a shower and such so I walked into the other dressing room and one hour later all of us were fully dressed with makeup and our heir done. The band in their stage clothes of cause, Max in some ripped black skinny jeans and a ripped Black Veil Brides t-shirt... he looked kinda slutty in it to be honest, the way he’d ripped his shirt, I understood it if his parents were getting tired of him sometimes. And lastly I was dressed in dark purple skinny jeans with a simple black top and a cardigan in the same dark purple colour, with my rives collar on and lots of bracelets. I’d straightened my hair and pulled it back in two pony tails and put on a fair amount of makeup.
Already now could we hear the crowd of people that begun to show up now the venue was open. I honestly couldn’t believe that three nights ago I’d been a part of a crowd like this one, waiting to see my heroes on stage, waiting for a dream to come true. And look at me now, I’d gotten even more than I’d dared to imagine already. I might be a bit passive from time to time, but I’d finally found somewhere where the people around me actually wanted to be my friends, wanted to waste their time on me, laugh with me etc, a place where I finally felt home.
The guys led Max and I to the backstage area where we could see the concert from the sideline and hugged I hugged them all good luck, including hitting Ashley for giving me an inappropriate comment, and patting CC on the head for saying something really stupid. The concert went smooth and almost as planned, except for Andy almost falling off stage... I wouldn’t question it if he broke a leg or something someday.
After the concert, the guys bought Max and me with them to the meet and greed where people greeted me and explained how much they wished to be me. We basically just enjoyed our time there, joking randomly with everybody in the room and such. Later again we were back at the guys’ bus, watching some unnamed horror movie that made me feel really uneasy and throughout almost the entire movie I hid my head in Andy’s big mane of hair, squealing like some squirrel in the middle of the highway... poor squirrel...
I couldn’t get the fact out of my head that I was sitting so close to Andy, it was always there, it’d been there since I met him, I was always aware of it when Andy was near me and I liked it. After being dragged through hell by seeing a horror movie, Max and I parted with the guys and made our way onto our own bus or van or whatever; the fan-van... Aaaanyways, Max and I went to sleep like normal people and it was first when I lay in my bunk that all the events from the day and the one before stormed over me. It wasn’t fair! Why did my stupid depressed mind have to feel this horrible every evening? It was like this every time I was alone actually, but I didn’t want to cry, I didn’t want to hurt myself. And I managed not to, I surprisingly quick asleep and faced a dreamless night, I couldn’t remember last time I’d slept so great.
I found it too late to walk around in the hallways so I decided upon the couch to sleep on. I tossed myself on the couch and let go of the silence confused tears that had been stinging in my eyes since I’d escaped Andy’s arms, my mind were a huge mess, happiness, sadness and fear blended together into one big cupcake, so bad that if you ate it, it'd probably kill you... Don't ask why I chose to use a cupcake. Luckily though, at thus trouble, I managed to fall asleep, curled into a ball with my eyeliner smeared all over my face, I should really get a waterproof one... And sleep proof... I wonder if that even excited?
You know, being forced out of bed - or in my case; couch - is awful, being forced out of bed by a giant howl from a ferry announcing for you to be in your car in less than 30 minutes is really horrible.
That's how we woke up, or how I woke up for the second time. Apparently the trip was shorter than we'd thought and we'd slept till around noon. The loud sound woke up the three of us at once, Andy got a chock huge enough to fall down from the bed, wrapped in the blankets he tried to fight his way up from the floor. Max and I couldn't help but laugh at him, and we stood there laughing until someone started pounding at the door, followed by Jake’s voice yelling at us that we had 25 minutes to gather all our stuff and get in the bus.
Andy and Max had given me confused gazes when they found me sitting on the couch instead of Andy’s bed, but luckily, they didn’t get enough time to question it, we were in a hurry. Max jumped up and started running around, Andy still fighting his way out of the blankets and I storming out of the door passing Jake and CC, getting some weird gazes from them. They were probably wondering what I'd been doing in Max' and Andy's room, but like the case with me sleeping on the couch, there weren’t enough time to answer whatever weird questions they could come up with.
I didn't really get time to think about the fact that I’d woken up almost crying because Andy and I'd just slept in the same bed, or just basically the fact that Andy and I’d just slept in the same bed. I didn't get time to think about anything actually. And as a total chock for myself, within 20 minutes I stormed into the elevator and pressed the buttons for it to go down and within 25 minutes I were standing outside of the fan-van... That rimed... Fan-van...
But yeah, I got onto the bus/van thingy and dropped my stuff before I walked out again and made it to the guys’ bus with only two minutes left. In the guys’ bus were Ash, Jake, CC, Jinxx, Jon and their bus driver already sitting, only waiting for Andy, Max and me, and since I was there now, we only needed Andy and Max. I let myself drop down in one of the armchairs and exactly two minutes later arrived Andy and Max, panting for their breaths, it seemed that they’d been running down the stairs to get here in time ‘cause the elevators were occupied.
I brought out my phone and checked for messages, but the only ones I’d gotten were my parents texting me almost every single hour, asking about how I were and if there were happening something exciting, honestly, I’d been away from home for a little more than 48 hours now, they had to relax a bit. I mean, I was 18, I was a grown up, I could decide for myself, they didn’t have to treat me like I was still eight, though, they’d always done that so far back I could remember. I guess my parents were just the overprotective types?
I was snapped out of my thoughts by someone asking my name, I looked up to find out that it was Max who’d been speaking while the band disgusted something about their concert the same evening. Max smiled excited at me “we’re in ENGLAND!” he screeched and jumped up and down in the other armchair which he’d claimed. It was pretty amusing that the two smallest persons had claimed the armchairs, leaving the band and Jon to squeeze together on the couches. Max screeched again as the bus drove out of the ship, which meant that we were actually on English ground now! I gave Max a look that probably reminded a bit like his, “we’re in fucking England!” I screeched back like some little girl or just one of those annoying princess-fluffy-perfect-girls who thought they owned the entire world and could do like they wanted.
The first city the guys should throw a concert in laid 10 minutes away from the harbour so after finally getting out of the harbour which took around 15 minutes and driving for ten minutes, we finally arrived at a venue where the concert was supposed to be held. Max and I helped the stage workers setting the stage and after that we rushed down to the guys’ dressing room where we found them working on their makeup and hair before the show in two hours. I decided to take a shower and such so I walked into the other dressing room and one hour later all of us were fully dressed with makeup and our heir done. The band in their stage clothes of cause, Max in some ripped black skinny jeans and a ripped Black Veil Brides t-shirt... he looked kinda slutty in it to be honest, the way he’d ripped his shirt, I understood it if his parents were getting tired of him sometimes. And lastly I was dressed in dark purple skinny jeans with a simple black top and a cardigan in the same dark purple colour, with my rives collar on and lots of bracelets. I’d straightened my hair and pulled it back in two pony tails and put on a fair amount of makeup.
Already now could we hear the crowd of people that begun to show up now the venue was open. I honestly couldn’t believe that three nights ago I’d been a part of a crowd like this one, waiting to see my heroes on stage, waiting for a dream to come true. And look at me now, I’d gotten even more than I’d dared to imagine already. I might be a bit passive from time to time, but I’d finally found somewhere where the people around me actually wanted to be my friends, wanted to waste their time on me, laugh with me etc, a place where I finally felt home.
The guys led Max and I to the backstage area where we could see the concert from the sideline and hugged I hugged them all good luck, including hitting Ashley for giving me an inappropriate comment, and patting CC on the head for saying something really stupid. The concert went smooth and almost as planned, except for Andy almost falling off stage... I wouldn’t question it if he broke a leg or something someday.
After the concert, the guys bought Max and me with them to the meet and greed where people greeted me and explained how much they wished to be me. We basically just enjoyed our time there, joking randomly with everybody in the room and such. Later again we were back at the guys’ bus, watching some unnamed horror movie that made me feel really uneasy and throughout almost the entire movie I hid my head in Andy’s big mane of hair, squealing like some squirrel in the middle of the highway... poor squirrel...
I couldn’t get the fact out of my head that I was sitting so close to Andy, it was always there, it’d been there since I met him, I was always aware of it when Andy was near me and I liked it. After being dragged through hell by seeing a horror movie, Max and I parted with the guys and made our way onto our own bus or van or whatever; the fan-van... Aaaanyways, Max and I went to sleep like normal people and it was first when I lay in my bunk that all the events from the day and the one before stormed over me. It wasn’t fair! Why did my stupid depressed mind have to feel this horrible every evening? It was like this every time I was alone actually, but I didn’t want to cry, I didn’t want to hurt myself. And I managed not to, I surprisingly quick asleep and faced a dreamless night, I couldn’t remember last time I’d slept so great.