A Little Too Late

"Your favorite, mademoiselle," Bryce announced, sliding into the booth across from me and setting the tray full of food down. He took a chocolate milkshake and fries off of it, placing both of them in front of me. He grinned over at me as he picked up his burger. "That was a very expensive meal and I expect some sort of payback before I leave tomorrow."

His words caused me to pout. "Stop, don't talk about it," I complained, stabbing the straw repeatedly into the milkshake. "You're gonna make me all sad and depressed and I won't be able to enjoy this last day we have together."

His bottom lip jutted out at match mine. "Aw, poor baby," he cooed in mock-sadness, reaching over to place his hand on my own, stopping my assault to the ice cream. "What are you going to without this hot piece of ass in around?"

I snatched my hand out from underneath his, smacking his arm as he laughed. "Shut up, it isn't funny!" I told him, trying to keep a straight face but ended up smiling anyway. "Really though, what am I supposed to do all summer without you? Everybody else is going to be busy – I was relying on you!”

He laughed through a mouthful of food. “Wait, so let me get this straight,” he started, swallowing the last of his food. “You’re mad at me because I have to spend the summer with my mom and you don’t have any other friends? Is that right?”

I contemplated smacking that stupid smirk off his face as I glared at him. “No, I’m mad because my best friend isn’t going to be here to spend the summer before our senior year with me,” I corrected before adding, “Jerk.”

He chuckled softly. “Britt, baby, you do know that we’ve both got cell phones? And that it is, in fact, only for the summer and I will be right back here once it’s ended?” he questioned.

I mocked him beneath my breath, shoving a fry in my mouth. “Pretending like you won’t miss me at all, when you know you will,” I muttered.

“I will miss you to no end, but being a grump about it isn’t going to change anything,” he pointed out.

I sighed heavily. “Fine,” I said dramatically. “I guess I can share you with your mom and sister briefly.”

Bryce’s grin widened before he winked at me. “And I promise, once I get back, I’m 100% yours again,” he assured me, finishing off the remaining half of his sandwich in one bite – had I not been used to this by now, I would’ve been extremely disgusted by it.

I scoffed. “You better,” I warned him, taking a drink of my milkshake.

Bryce and I hadn’t been best friends very long at all. We’d been going to the same school since middle school but we never really went out of our way to speak to each other until we met in summer school the previous summer. We bonded over our hatred for our English teacher, whose impossibly long and required essay put us both in school during summer, which only continued into the school year when we became chemistry partners. We didn’t have much in common at all – he preferred rap music while I loved my rock music. He loved watching movies when he wasn’t busy and I couldn’t sit through an entire movie if my life depended on it. I was a big health food freak while he chose pizza and burgers whenever the opportunity came – but somehow we managed to become so close that, over time, our interests started to become one. We still had our own preferences but we could tolerate, and sometimes even enjoy, each others interests. To me, it was strange and sometimes honestly freaked me out but at the same time was always comforting to know that I had him in my life. He sucked at giving advice, sure, but he was a great listener and always made me laugh.

Basically, he was just... perfect. He was the brother I wished I never had and I loved him as if he were that annoying sibling.

“Can you take those to go?” Bryce’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts, causing me to jump a bit.

“What?” I asked. “Oh, right, to go. Why? We just got here...”

“Yeah, but while you were spacing out over there, my dad texted me and told me that I had to be home in about two hours to pack up and spend time with him before I go,” he explained. “Besides, I’m already finished my food.”

“You’re gross,” I commented, eyeing his tray that was clear of any trace of food in front of him. “And why is your family constantly taking you away from me?” I asked with a groan. “But fine, let’s just pay and get to go cups and-“

“Already done,” Bryce interrupted. “I already paid and got you a to-go cup,” he told me, pushing the styrofoam cup in my direction.

Wow, I must’ve really zoned out... “If I knew you were gonna pay, I would’ve gotten a whole lot more,” I admitted, carefully pouring my milkshake into the cup.

He laughed, standing up and stretching before he grabbed his own milkshake. “I don’t doubt that one bit, fat ass,” he replied.

I stood up as well. “You’re one to talk, Fatty McFat Fat,” I retorted, poking his stomach, which was free of any fat whatsoever.

“It’s okay, I know you only insult me to repress all those hidden feelings you keep denying for me,” he said, grabbing my free hand with his own. He waved goodbye to the waitress and led us out of the diner and toward his car. “You walk so slowly,” he complained, tugging my arm, causing me to nearly trip over my feet.

“Asshole,” I growled, taking my hand from his. “I’m not gonna hold your hand anymore but just so you know, if I get kidnapped because of this, it’s your fault.”

“I can live with that,” he responded, nodding. He unlocked his car, opening the passenger door for me. I got in, him closing the door behind me before jogging over to the driver side, getting in.

“Looks like you can’t go to your mom’s after all,” I said with an overly heavy sigh. “You have to stay here and make sure I don’t get abducted or killed or anything.”

I caught Bryce grinning as he turned his head away from me, pulling out of the parking lot. “I’ve never seen you act so needy before,” he commented. “It’s kind of adorable. It also makes all those threats you’ve been making even less scary.”

I didn’t say anything, only turned the music up and drank my milkshake, only half listening to the rapper talk about bitches and hoes as I stared out the window. I really wasn’t sure how I’d be spending my summer with Bryce. I had some other friends but most of them are either too wrapped up in their boyfriends or too worried about jobs and colleges. I didn’t have a boyfriend to occupy my time with, I didn’t have a license for a job and thinking about colleges made me uncomfortable. “Where are we?” I asked once I realized we were parked at the bottom of a mountain. I looked over to find Bryce just looking at me.

Bryce cleared his throat, leaning up to look at the mountain through the windshield. “Guess you’ll have to follow me and find out, huh?” he asked, glancing at me briefly before getting out of the car. I was confused – why the hell were we at some random mountain that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere? – but I got out and followed him, despite my questions. He silently took my hand, leading me up a trail. “Careful, it’s a lot less smooth up here,” he told me quietly as we’d been walking for a good five minutes or so.

I nodded, unsure of what to say. “Okay,” was all I ended up coming up with. I wasn’t sure what was going on. Normally, no matter what we’re doing, we’re always talking. Whether it’s about something or nothing, it’s never silent, even when it’s supposed to be. But Bryce hadn’t said anything except warning me about the bumpy trail. He was also really focused on the ground in front of him, which confused me as well. Bryce was one of the most graceful people I knew. The trail was definitely smooth enough for him to not be focusing so hard on his step. I wanted to say something – anything – but the silence felt... heavy? It wasn’t peaceful or comfortable; it felt like there was a purpose behind it or something. Like Bryce was intentionally not saying anything for a reason. But why? It didn’t make sense to- “Oof!” I exclaimed, falling face first into the dirt.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” Bryce asked, kneeling down beside me.

“Ow, ow,” I groaned, pushing myself up. “Yeah, I think I’ll live. That stupid-“ I cut myself off when I saw that I’d tripped over nothing. There wasn’t a rock or tree stump – only smooth dirt. I’d managed to trip over absolutely nothing. Bryce suddenly burst out into laughter, falling back onto his butt. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I don’t care,” I said, waving it off. My cheek hurt a little bit but other than that I felt fine. Bryce had seen me in much more embarrassing situations so I wasn’t worried he’d seen my trip over air.

“But you- tripped over- nothing,” he said through his laughter, holding his stomach. I rolled my eyes but smiled nonetheless. I’d much rather have him laughing at my expense than go back to the awkward silence that was following us before. Finally, he calmed down, wiping his eyes. His eyes widened when he looked at me. “Fuck, you’re bleeding,” he stated.

“I am?” I asked, feeling around on my cheek until I felt something wet. I looked at my fingers, seeing only a bit of blood. “Oh, wow. I am.”

“Here,” he said, pulling his black shirt over his head, leaving him in only a white wife beater. He threw the shirt at me. “You can wipe it off with that.”

I smelled his shirt, scrunching my nose. “It’s drenched in that cologne you wear. It’s going to get infected if I put this shirt anywhere near it,” I explained.

He rolled his eyes. “Either give me it back or use it, we’re almost there and running out of time,” he told me, standing up to brush off his jeans.

I stood up as well, pressing the shirt to my rather small cut. “Okay, let’s go,” I said, using my free hand to wipe off my jeans.

He grabbed my hand firmly, looking at me with a half smile. “Can’t have you falling anymore, can we?” he asked, tugging my hand gently in the direction he wanted to go. I stuck my tongue out at him as I walked, causing him to laugh. We only walked a few more feet before he stopped again. “Alright, you need to push yourself up here,” he instructed, gesturing toward a stone ledge that was about four feet. I shrugged, throwing his t-shirt over it before jumping up, using my arms to pull up my lower body. As I lifted my leg up as well, my arm slipped and I started to fall back. I braced myself when I felt Bryce’s hands catch me, holding me up by my back and butt. Without much effort, he pushed me up before pulling himself up easily. “And I ask again; what are going you going to do without this hot piece of ass around?” he questioned, holding his hand out for me to take.

I rolled my eyes, letting him help me up. “You just wanted an excuse to touch my ass, that’s all,” I accused, ignoring his question, his shirt long forgotten.

He chuckled. “It’s a win-win, really,” he said. “I not only save your ass, but I get a fair touch.”

I scoffed, shaking my head. “Where are we, anyway?” I asked, looking around. He nodded his head in some direction before walking toward it. I followed him, my eyes widening when I saw he was standing a mere few feet away from a very, very high ledge. I craned my head to see ahead of him and gasped at the view. It was overlooking our small town and, since the sun was setting, the lights were bright. There wasn’t much, but it was enough. “How did you find this place?”

He sat down with his knees propped up and locked his fingers together as he stared straight. “My dad brought me out here freshman year, a few days after school started,” he started. I sat cross-legged beside him, listening. “He found out a couple kids were picking on me so he brought me here and told me he found this place a few days after we moved here. Said it helped him just... think. I’ve been coming here ever since.”

I grinned. “So you invited me to yours and your dad’s place?” I asked. “I feel special.”

He laughed. “My dad stopped coming here a while ago, so it’s just me, as far as I know,” he replied. A silence fell; thankfully, one much less awkward than the one before. It only lasted a few minutes though. “Britt, I need to tell you something.”

“Hm?” I asked, tearing my gaze to look at him. I kind of froze when I noticed how serious he looked – more serious than he looked earlier. I watched him wring him hands repeatedly, a telltale sign of his being nervous, so I decided to rest my hand on his knee in attempt to calm him. His movements stopped and he stared at my hand.

Bryce sighed heavily, standing up and holding his arms behind his head. “I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to come right out and, well, say it,” he announced, speaking quickly.

“Okay,” I answered slowly. “Are you alright?”

“I’m in love with you, Brittany,” he blurted out. “I’m totally in love with you and I really can’t keep that from you anymore because I swear to God it’s been killing me to do so.”

I froze. And when I say froze, I mean it felt as if my heart stopped beating and every muscle stopped working, only leaving a loud beating sound in my ears. Did I hear him right? “Um, I’m sorry,” I said. “What?”

“You practically have bionic hearing, I know you heard me,” he replied, closing his eyes as he did so.

I blinked a few times. “Bryce, I’m not sure you know what you’re talking about,” I finally told him. “I mean, we haven’t really known each other that long. Maybe you’re just... I don’t know, lonely? Or maybe you’ll miss me when you leave, which I get because I’ll miss you too, but that’s... that’s a big thing to say. You can’t just throw something like that around.”

He laughed humorlessly, shaking his head. “I know what I’m talking about,” he insisted firmly. “And I know we haven’t even known each other a year yet but there is no doubt in my mind I’m in love with you. I’ve known it for a while now, too. Remember when we went to Disneyland over winter break with Steven, Tess and Adam?” I nodded, swallowing. “It was the morning after. Steven and Adam went to go get food and Tess was at the pool. You were a bitch to wake up but once you did, you looked rough. Your hair was dirty and in a bun because you hadn’t showered after being outside all day, your make up a mess and you were in this huge sweat shirt and a pair of my sweatpants, because you were too busy worried about which bathing suit to pack rather than any other clothes,” he recalled, a half grin on his face. “But Britt, despite all that, you still looked so fucking beautiful. You looked just as good, if not better, than when you put all this effort into your appearance,” he paused. “That was when I realized that I loved you more than just as my best friend. I wanted you to be more than my best friend.”

I didn’t’ know what to say. What was there to say, really? I didn’t know if I loved him. I never once thought of him as more than just a friend. Doesn’t that answer the question then? Aren’t you supposed to just know when you love somebody? It just all makes sense, like Bryce explained. He seemed to just know he was... in love with me. It’s that simple, right?

Bryce cleared his throat, breaking me from my thoughts. “Now would be a great time to say something,” he said with a nervous chuckle.

“I-I don’t know what-“ I cut myself off, unsure of what I was wanted to say. Unsure of what I needed to say.

“You know what? Forget I said anything, okay?” he suggested. “Look, it’s getting late. My dad’s gonna flip if I’m late so I should just get you home.”

I silently nodded, following him back down to his car, without saying a word even once he was driving me home.

That was my first mistake.