Nightfeather

The next morning, Nightpaw woke up bright and early. So early, in fact, that the entire Fireclan territory was almost completely silent. Everyone else was still asleep. So Nightpaw decided to go to the stream to think.

She padded lightly past the softly snoring kits, past the silently sleeping cats, away from the dens.

As she ventured though the forest, she found her mind wandering. She started thinking about all that had happened to her in the last couple of weeks: being adopted by the clan; getting a name; training with Firefern; becoming his apprentice. She was still thinking about all of this when Firefern walked up. Realizing that she was totally unaware of his presence, Firefern fell into step beside her, and together they made their way, slowly but steadily, to the edge of the stream.

When they got there, Nightpaw slowly lowered her head and began lapping at the water, still lost inside her mind. Firefern had become more and more amused at how she moved when she was so obviously deep in thought. Finally, unable to help himself, he chuckled.

At the sound, Nightpaw jumped with a gasp, startled back into the real world, and turned toward Firefern.

"How long have you been there?" she asked, heart still pounding like a drum inside her chest.

Firefern smiled devilishly, even more amused by how flustered she had become. "Not long. But I did walk with you for most of the way," he admitted. "By the way, it's amazing how you made it all this way without stumbling even a little, even while you were lost so deep inside your mind that even my presence couldn't snap you out of it," he added, sounding just a little cocky. But now the smile was less mischief and more curious amusement as he asked, "Just out of curiosity, do you do that often?"

Ignoring the question, Nightpaw said, "Wait--back up. You were with me almost the entire way here, and you never said anything. Why?"

With an almost sheepish grin, Firefern hesitated, then replied, "You were so deep in thought. You just looked so peaceful." He looked down at his paws. "I just..." He met her eyes again--violet, he suddenly realized. "I didn't want to interrupt."

Nightpaw's jaw had begun to oh-so-slowly approach the ground, so that her mouth hung slightly open. Realizing this, she closed it quickly and smiled, suddenly feeling shy.

"Oh. Well...thanks. And, yeah. I do that alot. In fact, I used to do it all the time, before."

"Before?" Firefern prompted, with growing interest.

"Before I became an apprentice," she smiled as he caught her eye when she said this. Then she continued, "before I had a name. Before I had a family. Before...before all of these good things started happening to me. And before..." It was her turn to be sheepish now, and she turned her smile to the ground as she finished, "before I met you." She continued to stare at a particularly interesting spot between her paws before risking a peek up at him.

Surprised by this small confession, and unsure how to react, Firefern looked down at the ground for a moment, then turned to the stream and started to drink, overwhelmed by an unexpected thirst, and the subject dropped.

Suddenly feeling awkward, Nightpaw followed his lead, and they stood there together in silence for awhile, the only sounds coming from the birds in the branches overhead, and the oh-so-quiet splish-splish-splish of their tongues lapping at the water.

After a few long moments, Firefern decided he needed to break the tension.

"Do you want to came back to the den?" he asked.

Nightpaw nearly choked on the water as she looked up, startled.

"What?"

Realizing what she was thinking and blushing in embarrassment, Firefern clarified himself.

"To train, I mean. Do you want to come to the training den to begin today's session." He gave her a proud smile. "You are, after all, my new apprentice."

She smiled, too. "Okay. Yeah, let's go." Then, all hints of awkwardness forgotten, she flashed him a mischievous grin and called out, "Race ya!" over her shoulder before taking off at a sprint toward the den.

**********

Thanks to her head start, Nightpaw was the first to reach the den.

For the entire time that she'd been running, she'd been thinking about what had happened at the stream.

Why did I say that? she asked herself. Where did it even come from? "Before I met you." What was I thinking? And, what did it even mean? What, 'I used to think before I met you'? God, how stupid can I be?

Still half aware of the world around her, Nightpaw heard the steady beat of Firefern's paws approaching her and yelled a quick, "I don't think so!" over her shoulder, which had earned her a laugh from Firefern, and pushing herself to go faster as she returned to her thoughts.

Okay, she told herself, stop this. It's done. It's over with, and there's nothing you can do about it. So just pull yourself together and, she smiled to herself, make him eat your dust!

**********

"Race ya!" she'd called, then raced off, getting a head start. A moment later, recovering himself, he'd raced after her.

Of course, Firefern had had a few thoughts of his own.

"Before I met you." What exactly did she mean by that? And why did I react the way I did? I probably just made her feel like crap, turning away and dropping the subject like that. God, I'm such an idiot, such a jerk!

Nightpaw had realized that he'd been advancing on her at this point, and had shouted, "I don't think so!" and started running faster. Firefern had laughed, picking up his pace as well, and then gone back inside his mind to puzzle over the matter some more.

I mean...Okay, so, she probably meant it to sound like a good thing, right, like, 'I used to be trapped inside my head, but then I met you, and...Oh, what am I thinking, she probably doesn't even think of me like that...Ugh, just forget it, it's useless anyway...Just...Just get to the den, and begin training, and forget all about the stream...

**********

Nightpaw reached the den first, and when Firefern finally got there, panting slightly, she sat just outside of the den, in the shade, pretending to ignore him as she cleaned and fussed over her fur. When she finished and looked up, she said, with a smug smirk, "Took ya long enough," then feigned a yawn and continued to taunt him. "I was beginning to get bored. I thought you'd never make it."

"Okay, okay," he said, rolling his eyes.

"No, really, " she continued, temporarily basking in her glory. "Maybe we should skip training today so you can run laps or something. You know, work on your speed? That way maybe you can beat me next time."

"Oh, yeah?" he challenged.

"Yeah."

"Well, I'll get right on that," he teased, then pounced on her, beginning the day's training session.

**********

Training had proven to be a good distraction--but it wasn't perfect. The session had come to an end with Nightpaw beneath Firefern--which tended to happen probably about 3/4 of the time, (she was good, but he was still the master!) but this time, it was different. It felt different. This time, the two kits, master and apprentice, teacher and student, found themselves gazing into each other's eyes, wondering what the other was thinking, how the other felt, not even realizing that the minutes were continuing to pass around them--training had ended at about dusk, but now the sun had completely disappeared from the sky and the stars were twinkling above, and if they didn't head toward the fire to eat soon, the other cats would start to wonder where they were.

Then, without warning, Nightpaw snapped back into reality and wriggled out from beneath Firefern as she said, "I-I guess we should head out. It's getting late, and the others..."

"Yeah," Firefern said, composing himself. "Y-You go ahead. I'll catch up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll just be a minute." When Nightpaw hesitated, he smiled at her and said, "Go. It's okay. I'll be there in a second."

"Okay," she said, and turned to leave.

"Nightpaw!" Firefern called as she neared the exit.

"Yes?" she asked, turning to face him.

"Um..." he hesitated. He started to say something, then stopped. Then he said, "You did well. You've come a long way. And...I'm proud of you. And I'm proud to have you as my apprentice."

"Oh." She smiled shyly. "Um, thanks. And, I'm proud to be your apprentice." She held his gaze for a moment, then turned and left the den, moving quickly toward the fire.

Firefern watched her leave, then turned away from where she'd been and started talking aloud to himself, pacing all the while.

"What was that? You stare into her eyes like she's the only other living thing on the planet, then suddenly you can't seem to find your tongue. What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? Suddenly you're this bumbling fool, and it's all because of her! First the stream, and now this! What's next? God, it's almost like you're--" he stopped. "No. No, it's not...No, it doesn't make sense. You've only known her for two weeks. And you've done nothing but train her since almost the very beginning, so how exactly does this come into play?"

He thought about it for a moment. And the more he thought about it, the more it donned on him: Somewhere, somehow, amidst all those training sessions, he'd begun to develop feelings for her. Firefern liked Nightpaw. And he was realizing that the feeling hadn't just arrived over night. It had developed over time. And it had started on day one--on that first day, when he'd seen this beautiful black kit that could somehow pin each of the other kits to the ground with such ease and such grace...

"Okay, so I like her. There's no denying that. But, now, how do I deal with it? I mean, what am I supposed to do? I can't just tell her, can I? I mean, what if...But...She feels it, too...Right? She has to. I mean, at the stream...And then, I wasn't the only one caught in some sort of trance just now. And, yeah, she was the first to snap out of it, but maybe that's nothing. Maybe it' just a coincidence, and it doesn't mean anything at all. Yeah, that's it. It was a coincidence. I like her, and she likes me. Okay. So now what? What do I do? Do I tell her?" A short pause of consideration, a brief break in his everlasting stride, and then, "Yeah, that's it. I'll just walk up and tell her that I like her. It's that simple. I mean, it can't be that hard, right? Just walk up to her and say, 'Hey, I like you, and I know you like me, too so...' So, what? What then? Do I...What do I do?" He thought about it some more. "Okay, so--wait. These things work best when there's no plan, right? So I'll just walk up, and see how it goes from there. I'll just...say what comes to mind. Yeah. That's it. I'll walk up and it'll just come to me--poof!--and I'll know what to say." Another brief pause as the hysteria descended, and then, "Oh, what am I saying? It's not just going to 'come to me'! It doesn't work like that! I can't just walk up to her and know exactly what to say." Pause. Then, "Oh, what does it matter anyway?" He stopped pacing and shook his head, sending away the dizzying pattern of thoughts that filled his mind. "Okay, stop! Get ahold of yourself. You told her you'd be there in a minute, and it's been way longer than a minute. She's probably getting worried. She probably thinks you're not coming. Okay, here's the plan. Just go up to her, and ask if you can talk. Ask if she'll come to the stream with you. Maybe by then you'll have come up with something to say. Okay, yeah. That's what I'll do. Okay." Firefern took a deep breath, then left the den and headed out to find Nightpaw.

But Nightpaw hadn't been too worried. In fact, she'd be lost too deep inside her own head to realize that he'd taken so long. So when Firefern finally got to the fire, she was sitting there, waiting for him.

She took a deep breath as she watched him approach. "Okay," she told herself. "It's now or never."

He walked up to her and, before he could open his mouth to say anything, Nightpaw blurted, "I think we need to talk."

Startled, yet at the same time relieved, Firefern said, "Yeah. I think you're right." Then, as an afterthought, "Let's go for a walk."

"Yeah. Okay."

And they headed off together. Away from the fire. Away from the light. Away from the others. But, possibly, toward the start of something else. They walked in silence, spending part of the trip thinking, most of it trying not to think, and all of it trying to calm their rapidly beating hearts, each wondering if the other could tell how nervous they felt.

When they finally reached the stream, Firefern was the first to speak.

"Okay, I'm gonna get straight to the point. I--"

"Firefern--"

"No. Nightpaw, please, just hear what I have to say. Then you can say whatever it is that you need to say. Okay? But please, just let me finish first."

"Okay."

Astonished at her lack of argument, Firefern simply stared at Nightpaw for a moment, then continued.

"Look, I'm not sure how much of this is going to make sense--actually, I'm not sure if any of this makes any sense, but here goes: Nightpaw, I've realized tonight that ever since I first saw you, I can't get you out of my head. You're all I ever think about since I first saw you playfighting with the other kits. You're always on my mind, and, somehow, you've managed to get under my skin, and you simply refuse to withdraw yourself. You've made me care about you, and I've begun to grow rather fond of you. I know that I've only known you for two weeks, and we've done nothing but train nearly the entire time. Up until now, it's been strictly professional. But I don't think that's enough anymore, and I don't think you do, either. I've been happy with what we have right up until this point. But now I want more. I want us to be more. More than...whatever it is that we are right now. I want our relationship to turn into something more. I want it to become a...a relationship. I mean, I want us to be together. I want to be with you. And I hope you want to be with me." All out of steam, Firefern stopped and looked at Nightpaw, watching her, gauging her reaction, hoping it would be a positive one. And, finally, when he was certain that all hope was lost, that he'd made a complete and utter fool of himself, she spoke:

"I do. That's exactly what I want. Firefern, that's all I've wanted since I first met you. I'm not even sure I realized it at the time, but I've wanted that from the very beginning. But...I wasn't sure if that was how you felt. I mean, you never gave me any signs...I never really had anything to go on. And then, at the stream--what I said...And, you just seemed to...shut down, sort of. And it's not like I have any previous experience or anything, so I just...thought you didn't feel the same way. So, I dropped it. But then, in the den...I just wasn't sure anymore. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know how you felt...So I just...didn't know how I should feel. That's why I thought we should talk. Because I really wanted--no, needed--to know how you felt. Because I was just so unbelievably confused. And now that I know, now that you've told me..." She released a small sigh and smiled. "I'm relieved. And happy. And I feel so much better, knowing that you know how I feel...I just...I'm just so happy." And she was. And he could tell. And that made him happy.

Firefern took a few steps toward Nightpaw, smiled as he looked directly into her eyes, and said, "I'm really glad we had this talk."

She beamed up at him, meeting his gaze, and said, "Yeah. Me, too."

And together they went back to the fire, side by side, and everyone who saw them, even the kits, could tell that the energy had changed. That it had changed for the better. And Silentshadow turned to the other MediCat and said, with a proud smile upon her face, "Finally."