The Reason

"Hmm ... I don't know. I know nothing about you ...”

"I don't know anything about you too. But, think with me, if we don't try, we'll never know, right?"

"Yes, but..."

"Well, today at 8 in the restaurant by the beach, okay?"

"Hey, I didn't agr-"

"Well, I gotta go. I still have plenty to do until our dinner! See ya later, Natasha." - Jimmy takes on several beer cans, put them in the shopping cart, and runs down the hall as if he's running away from me. I'm here, glued to the ground, and astonished looking at Jimmy leaving with a silly smile on my face that insisted not to go away. I feel it's becoming hard to understand what really happened here. I had seen Jimmy several times at the door of his store, smoking and watching people. But I never noticed he was watching me. Also because I never looked directly at him.

But... what do I do now? I can't have dinner with him. I can't. Only a person completely insane would accept to have dinner with a stranger. But he gave me no chance to say anything. And it's hard to me to not go and leave him there waiting for me all night. But, in case, can be him who doesn’t appear. Maybe he's just kidding me... Oh, come on. Natasha, it's enough! You can't stand here and grind the brain with unanswered questions.

I start running around the supermarket looking for Jimmy. He's very tall, so it's not that hard to find him. After several rounds to the halls, I found him in line to pay. I beg leave to people standing in line, leaving them a bit bothersome thinking I was going ahead of them, until I reach Jimmy. I touch his back with my finger to draw to his attention but he doesn't look back. I feel so small beside him, what gives me fear to touch him. After several attempts, I grab his arm and turn him suddenly to me.

"You prefer to be in your house?" - He said, looking at me with a smile from ear to ear and truly raunchy.

"I'll have dinner with you. But promise me you won't leave me there waiting for you all night long."

"Are you crazy? I believe it's you doing that. I would be unable to do so. Although it seems that I'm mocking you, but I'm not. "

"See? How do you want me to have dinner with you if you are making fun of me?" - Jimmy looks back to see if it had come his turn. He looks at me again and I just feel his hand on the bottom of my back pulling me against his body and he kisses me so intensely that, briefly, I stop breathing. He stops the kiss and without pulling himself away from me, his gaze dominates my whole body and I am unable to move.

"I'll pick you up at your house and we go together to the restaurant, okay? So nobody waits for nobody." - He turns away from me preparing to pay for his purchases. Once again, I'm like a statue, watching people passing in front of me, looking at me and smiling with what they had just seen. It takes a little time to me to realize what had happened. Jimmy kissed me. But why the hell he kissed me? I'm beginning to retreat in the middle of all those people and go back to where it all started; after all, I had left there my shopping cart. Once there, I grab it and go to the cashier for payment. It seems that I lost track of everything and now I can't even concentrate on the rest of the stuff I needed. I get to the cashier to pay, but Jimmy is no longer here. I look around, looking for him but, of course, he's gone.

***

Finally, I'm home. I've packed up the very few purchases I did in place and now I'm ready to study a little. Study... poof... As if that were possible at the moment. Even so, I sit at my desk, I open the book and start reading the first lines. I return again and again to the beginning of the paragraph, but that kiss didn't get out of my head. As much as I try not to think at that moment I feel Jimmy pushing me against him and I feel his lips on mine, it seems everything is returned back over and over again. Sends shivers throughout my body just thinking about it. Convinced that I really want to study, I caught in a piece of paper and a pen and start taking notes of what I’m reading. Without realizing it, I forget that moment and I'm pursuing 100% in what I'm doing but, rather, as there's always a 'but', someone knocks at the door. I land the pencil with some violence over the book and approach to the door. When I open it, Matt come in up quickly without leaving me to say anything.

"I told you it was not too long."

"Yeah...I see." - I don't feel well at all, and Matt realizes that. I close the door and go back to my office where I was before studying, sitting down again and returned to the book I was reading. Matt comes behind me and sits beside me, looking at me, confused, trying to understand what is happening. I'm not able to look at him and not to tell a word which makes me feel even worse.

"Natasha... did something happen?"

"No, nothing. Why do you ask? "

"Because you look weird... this morning you look fine with me and now... you're avoiding me..." - I look down, smiling sadly. I can't deny what Matt is saying because, actually, he's right. I take a deep breath and decide that the best thing I should do is tell him the truth. No, I'll hide the kissing part.

"Matt I ... I'm going out with someone tonight."

"Oh, really? Who is he? Don't tell me is that charmer teacher that... "

"No. It's not Professor Haner. It's... a guy I met today at the supermarket."

"What?" - Matt gets up and begins to raise his voice. He looks at me in a rude manner but at the same time disappointed. - "You're that kind of bitches? You know the guy in a minute and in the minute later you're going out with him?"

"That's not it, Matt. And calm down, okay? He's the owner of the tattoo shop. That one down the street. We crossed paths at the grocery store today and he invited me to dinner."

"And you're going. Sure, it makes perfect sense. 'He works at the tattoo shop at the foot of my house, so there is no problem in accepting to go out with him.' Please, Natasha. "

"Look, Matt..." - I get up, this time a little elated. - "...I don' understand why you're having this kind of reaction. After all you're here and I don't even know you yet and also helped you with the police and, moreover, you made me rob that house with you."

"You're right. But do you want me to go away? Okay, but I'm here because I felt that we could have something. I mean, I felt I could be your friend and I could help you in some way. I wonder how much you suffer. I saw it in your body. But if you don't want me here, I'm leaving."

"No. Don't go." - Matt leaves the office but I'm going after him and grab his arm to stop him. He turns, looking at me. Our bodies are approaching. Matt's hand touches my face and his thumb gently slides on my lips. The desire to kiss him is bigger that my breathing begins to increase. Matt grabs my hand and his eyes are focused on my lips. I feel lost in his hands. Matt approaches more and I can feel his breathing becoming closer to my lips. But I cannot do it. I shouldn't do it. I need to put the ideas in order and know exactly what I want, which is impossible to know at this time.

I walk away from him quickly, leaning myself on my office door. I look at him deeply in the eye, trying to control my breathing. He looks at me in the same way, smiling and approaching me. He grabs my hands and gives me a lingering kiss on the forehead.

"I want to get to know you. I know you're going through a very complicated moment and I, partly, didn't help... but I want you to know that, above all, you have a friend here, okay?" - I smiled and nodded, looking at him with puppy ​​eyes as if asking for pampering what makes him give a laugh. - "Come here, little girl!" - Matt pulls me by the hands and hugs me lovingly.

"You have no idea how much I need a hug like that."

"I know that, Natasha. I'm here for that. But now I'll leave you in peace. You need to get ready."

"Get ready for what?"

"Won't you have dinner with the tattooed guy?"

"I will but I will as I am dressed. I mean, I can change clothes but won't wear a dress or a miniskirt just covering my ass." - Matt gives a laugh so sincere that makes me laugh too. He tightens my body against his and gives me one more kiss on the forehead.

"Oh God, I love you! Well, goodbye and good luck. "

"See you tomorrow?"

"Of course."

***

Ten to eight in the evening. I'm sitting on the couch, eagerly waiting for the bell to ring. I rub my legs with my hands repeatedly and take a deep breath to calm the pain I feel in the belly because of the nervous. I get up and run to the bathroom but of course, I'm interrupted by the sound of the bell. I turn back and walk slowly to the door. I don't feel at all prepared to face Jimmy after everything that happened this afternoon, including what happened with Matt.

I put my hand on the doorknob and open it slowly. I face Jimmy with his arm stretched, holding a red rose. I look with wonder to that rose which is being given to me so lovingly. He gives me the rose and, automatically, I take the rose up to my nose. That soft scent awakens in me such a calm that made me sigh.

"Thank you. I was not expecting something like this. "

"It was the only way I got to apologize for... for what I did."

"Aww, that's okay." - We both laughed at the situation. I tell him to get a sit while I'll get my stuff from my bedroom. A few minutes later, we are ready to go. Jimmy is a gentleman with me despite all that look of mocking and cheeky. He opens the car door, grabs my hand and asks me to come in. he closes the door and runs to the other side of the car, coming into the car and singing a weird song.
In the driving towards the restaurant, we're singing, talking about tattoos and what I'm actually studying. I don't even notice time passing. We arrive at the restaurant in the twinkling of an eye. We leave the car and before we entered the restaurant, we get a little looking at the sea. That breeze hit us in the face lightly, creating a moment somewhat romantic.

"I know we are still only at the beginning... but, are you regretting for coming?"

"Honestly? No, I'm not at all."

"See? Glad you got out of that house. Any day you don't even see the sunshine. "

"Unfortunately you're right."

"I confess that I wonder every time I see you, why you are like... you are, you know? But on the other hand, if you were different, I certainly wouldn't have done what I did. "

"Are you referring to what, exactly?"

"To everything. When I asked you to dinner with me... and the kiss. "

"Why'd you do it?"

"I'll be honest with you. That's what went through my mind at that moment. "

"Are you usually so impulsive?"

"You have no idea. Well, let's get in?"

"Sure."

Although I feel very well beside Jimmy and to have a lot of fun with him, Matt doesn't get out of my head. It's as if, somehow, I'm betraying him. It may seem stupid but it's hard to me. I only know Matt for three days ago but we have created a connection that has no explanation. I look at him and it's like I've known him for years. But Jimmy is a completely different person. He conveys me happiness and I feel so comfortable that I have no trouble being who I really am.

We get into the restaurant and go to the table that Jimmy had already booked. As an aside, I found it very cute. We don't stand inside of the restaurant but on the terrace. It's a very pleasant evening, there was no one on here, the stars shine like diamonds in the sky, and the waves broke as gently as the wings of a bird hit while it flies. Everything was perfect until the moment I look occasionally to the glass door that give access to the interior of the restaurant. My smile quickly disappears. My stomach trembles when my eyes find what appeared to be unlikely. Jimmy realizes that my gaze is directed to another direction. We are in the middle of the week which justified the fact that the restaurant was almost empty but at this point there are more two people present.

"Do you know them?"

"Yeah... two teachers of the college." - Professor Baker and Professor Haner. They haven't seen me already and honestly, I prefer that we continue like this for several reasons. They look exhausted. Probably, they came out of college now. I forget that I'm with Jimmy. My mind points to another direction. Professor Haner. There is nothing that makes me look away from him for more effort I do. That man has a huge power over me for no reason, I guess. I just want to take him out of this scenario.

"Hey, Natasha. You're not going to spend all night looking at them, are you? If you want to rape them, my friend, it's not hard it's just... "

"Jimmy, Jimmy ... please, I don't want you to do me an erotic summary before dinner."

"Okay, okay ... I do afterwards." - I look at Jimmy, raising my eyebrow in a way that he understand that I'm not happy with the conversation. Deep down, I was about to laugh but I also know that if this proves my enthusiasm, the conversation would end in a way that I really want, at all, to avoid. He looks at me with those sexy and bright blue eyes, biting his bottom lip while touches my hand. - "Do you mind if I leave you here alone for a few seconds? I really have to go to the toilet... and it's your entire fault!"

"Mine?" - This time I can't help and laugh harder while he gets up and starts running up the inside of the restaurant. I laugh alone for a few seconds, until my eyes meet again who I "don't" want to see. But this time everything is different. This time our eyes meet each other. Professor Haner puts his glass of wine on the table, picking up the napkin to wipe his lips gently. The only movement I do is put my hair behind my ear while I let myself be hypnotized by those eyes. His eyes don't leave mine even for a moment.

"I'm back, baby doll." - Jimmy arrives and sits quickly, startling me. - "Easy, baby... I don't wanna scare you."

"You didn't. Do you mind if I leave you here alone for a few seconds? It's my turn to go to the toilet. "

"Do you need some help?"

"Help?"

"If you'll do the same I did..."

"Oh, Jimmy, please!" - I get up, never stopping smiling at Jimmy. He touches my hand and smile affectionately. I walk straight to the door of the restaurant avoiding my eyes to look at that table in the middle of the terrace where the man who dominates all my senses is. I go into the toilet and minutes later, I'm preparing to go back to the table where Jimmy is waiting for me, but I'm not alone. When I leave the toilet, I feel someone touching my arm.

"Natasha ..."