Toxic

Beep, beep, beep

Violet's alarm clock notified her that it was 7:00 AM, time to get up for the first day of school. Rian came and told her last night that they had to walk to school and leave the house by 7:45.

The last week and a half flew by, Violet became easily lost in the daily routine of sleeping in late, waking up to the sound of band practice outside her door and watching late night TV by herself, then doing it all over again the next day. But now it was time to start school, and the fear and anxiety she had tried to push out of her mind couldn't be avoided anymore.

Violet showered late last night and it left her dark hair to dry messily. After running a straightener through it and carefully applying some makeup, Violet went to find something to wear for the very first day. She decided on some ripped black tights, a pair of black shorts, a white tank top and a comfortable grey zip up hoodie to go over top.

She brushed her teeth, put in her contact lenses, and when she looked at the clock she realized that it was 7:40. Grabbing the new back pack she had bought, she ran up the stairs where Rian was putting his shoes on waiting for her.

"Did you grab breakfast?" he asked, his eyes still tired from sleep.

"I'm not hungry" she replied, shoving her feet into her pair of all black converse.

They left the house, and silently walked to school, still tired and dreading the start of the new school year. It took them almost 15 minutes and they were supposed to be in class at 8:05.

Rian waved goodbye when they got inside the school, and Violet pulled out the time table they had given her last week when she went to register. It said her home room was in room 154. Walking down the hallway, she could tell she was going to be late, most people had filed into their classrooms already. Finally reaching the correct room, she opened the door and walked inside, feeling like every pair of eyes in the classroom was on her.

She looked down, not wanting to be the centre of attention. Making her way to the back of the classroom she found an empty desk and slid in, waiting for the teacher to quiet the class down and make whatever home room announcements he had to.

"Psst, Violet!"

Violet whipped her head around to see Jack leaning out of his desk trying to get her attention.

"Hey" she whispered back, turning around to face the front again.

"Class" the teacher said as he closed the classroom door, trying to get the students to quiet down. "This is your homeroom class as I'm sure you're aware. Its nice to have all of you here, now I'm sure you know that I have to get into all of the boring stuff..."

And with that Violet's mind started to wander. She didn't want to listen to all of the things she knew he was going to talk about like the school rules, how they were now in the eleventh grade and needed to put forth the effort yada-yada.

She started to pick at the hem of her shorts, wondering how the rest of the day was going to go. It was nice that she at least knew one person in her homeroom. She wasn't sure how things were going to be with Rian's friends. They were at the house all the time but over the past week she'd been kind of avoiding everyone, trying not to leave her room unless she needed too. The pain from losing her mother was beginning to make her feel numb, like it could't even be possible. Like she was going to wake up from this nightmare eventually so nothing really mattered. It didn't matter that she was ignoring her father's attempts to do things with her, that there was more to life than laying in her bed and wasting countless hours trying to forget everything that had happened leading up to her mom dying.

It didn't matter that she was constantly finding herself in the bathroom, covered in blood and wondering why she didn't feel anything, no remorse, she didn't feel bad that she was mutilating herself. She deserved it, but it didn't hurt enough anyway, all of this meant nothing.

She felt like she was in a dark hole with no light. And even if there was a light there would be no point to it anyway, no matter how bright the light was she wouldn't care, nothing could get her out of the darkness even if she tried. She was cold and tired, and she wanted to sleep. Sleep and forget all of the bad, forget everything.

The sound of the bell ringing jolted Violet from her thoughts, wow that went by quick. She pulled out her crumpled up time table to try and find the next room she was supposed to go to. It was American History in room 284. Joining the flow of students back in the hallway, Violet continued to go through the motions, attending the 2 classes she had before lunch.

Finally getting out of her AP English class, Violet found her way into the courtyard of the high school. Finding the pack of cigarettes she'd been hanging onto, she pulled one out and stuck it between her lips. Lifting the lighter to the end of the cigarette, she inhaled deeply, feeling her tense muscles relax.

"You're not allowed to smoke here" Violet heard a young female's voice say in front of her.

She looked up to see a tall, lean blonde girl with two other girls on her sides, shooting Violet a disproving look.

"Whatever" she said turning to walk away and taking another puff from the cigarette.

"You shouldn't talk to her like that you know" one of her side-kicks piped up, "she could ruin you."

Her attempt to seem threatening made Violet laugh, which in turn caused a look of disgust to wash over all three of the girls.

"You better watch it" the blonde leader of the three said as she smacked the cigarette out of Violet's hand.

Violet just looked back at her with anger, she wanted to hit her so badly that when the girl gave her a light shove on the shoulder she couldn't help but return the favour. Pushing her back, the blonde let out a scream of frustration, coming at Violet and grabbing a handful of her hair. Violet squirmed under the pain from her scalp, desperately trying to get in a good swing but missing each time. She felt a blow to her lip and tasted blood in her mouth. Before she knew what was happening she felt arms wrap around her waist and heard a familiar voice coming from behind her.

She thrashed against the weight that had pulled her free, realizing that it was Alex's voice, Alex that had a firm grasp on her body.

"Violet stop" he said from behind her, "stop!"

She squeezed her eyes shut, slumping into Alex's surprisingly strong frame. She didn't want this to be going on, she didn't want to open her eyes and have to face the crowd of kids and probably teachers who was no doubt surrounding them, watching the drama unfold. When she did, she saw another tall guy holding the blonde girl back, a crowd of kids had surrounded them like she predicted.

Tears in her eyes, she tried to steady herself and get free of Alex's firm hold on her but he wouldn't budge.

"Come on" her urged, trying to get her away from the scene so that she wouldn't get in trouble. They were lucky that no teachers had showed up yet to take the two girls to the office.

Alex led Violet away from the courtyard of kids and around the corner of the building.

"What the hell was that about?" Alex asked, a firm hold on both of her shoulders.

Violet shrugged, trying to get free of his grasp on her, but once again she couldn't. She just stared at the ground, refusing to meet Alex's gaze.

"Violet" he pressed. he just continued looking down and ignoring the boy's insistence on telling him the story.

He took a hand and titled her chin up, "Your bleeding" he said.

She touched her lip with her fingers and could feel the blood and how her lip was already swelling.

"Fuck" she said with frustration.

"The first day of school and you're already in a fight?"

"I didn't need your help" she snapped back at him.

"Oh really? Three against one, and you weren't exactly getting any medals for your boxing talents."

She huffed and brushed past him, headed around the back of the school where no body would be.

"You should thank me, if I hadn't pulled you out of there you would have gotten caught, they'd probably suspend you" he called after her.

"And you care, why?" she spit back, spinning around to face him.

"You know what you're right Violet, keep doing what you're doing you seem to have everything figured out." he retorted.

She walked back so she was standing right in front of him. "You don't know anything about me" she said angrily, tears welling up in her eyes. She wrapped her arms tightly around her stomach, a sob escaping her against her will. Alex went to put a hand on her shoulder but she brushed him off, "Don't" she said, looking down at her feet.

"Violet?" she heard Rian call, he jogged out around the back of the building.

"Great" she sighed, shifting her weight between her feet.

"What the fuck happened to you" he said, grabbing her chin to look at her lip.

"Rian stop" she said, trying to bat him away.

"Why the fuck would you choose to fight her of all people. Violet she's the most popular kid in the school, everyone is going to hear about her side of the story" he said.

"She's a bitch!" she replied, Violet could tell by the look of her that thats who she was. An ignorant popular kid, and now her life was going to be ten times harder.

"So you fought her?"

She just shrugged, she didn't feel like getting into this with him.

"Violet!" Rian prodded.

"Her and her side-kicks were being so rude, and then she shoved me. I shoved back and the next thing I know she has a fist full of my hair and my mouth tastes like blood." she said, wanting to get both Rian and Alex off of her back.

"Yeah apparently they all walked away unscathed" Rian said with a sigh, "We're kind of friends with them Violet." he said sadly.

"You're kidding me right?" she replied angrily, wiping the tears from her face. She turned on her heel to storm off in the opposite direction.

"Violet!" Rian called after her.

She just kept walking. She didn't really have anywhere to go, so she walked around to the front of the school, walking back in to find the bathroom. The halls were pretty empty because everyone had left for lunch. Violet walked around until she found the girls bathroom and pushed through the door to go clean herself up. Looking in the mirror, she noticed the damage wasn't that bad, the cut was on the inside of her lip and the swelling would go down eventually.

She wiped the blood from her mouth with some cold water, trying to get the swelling to go away. Her next class was Art class and she hoped that no one recognized her.

--

Alex sat in the art room waiting for the bell to ring. He came early, not sure what to do with the rest of his lunch period. When he came upon the fight earlier, he immediately recognized the small brunette that had just received a sharp punch to the mouth. He'd give it to Elizabeth, she knew how scrap.

Elizabeth's friends Lisa and Ashley were there too and the whole ordeal was causing kids to crowd around them. No one had ever fought Elizabeth before, they wouldn't dare. With a reputation like hers she could make or break you in a second. Alex and the guys had always gotten along with them. They weren't besties but they had lunch together sometimes and would sit together in their shared classes.

Alex had no idea why Violet was in the middle of a fight with them, but he made eye contact with Greg from across the courtyard and both of them went in to break it up.

Alex got his arms around Violet's small body, easily whisking her away from the scene despite her thrashing limbs. Taking her around the corner, all she did was yell at him. He gave it right back to her but when she started to cry he really felt bad. The poor girl had been through more than anyone should have to deal with at their age and he wanted to make things better for her.

As he sat there in the art room, recalling the look of Violet's hurt face when they had been standing there behind the school, he felt his stomach twist in knots at how completely broken she looked.

The other kids had finally started filing in, Alex had taken art classes with them in the previous years so most of them were familiar. His friend Dylan came and sat down next to him and the two chatted about their summers for a few minutes.

Just then Violet appeared in the doorway looking flustered. Even though she had a panicked look on her face and a swollen lip she still looked more beautiful then any girl he knew. Unsure of whether or not to call her over, he let her eyes wander around the room until they made eye contact. She seemed unsure of what to do as well, until she realized that the seat beside him was one of the only ones left. Alex was secretly happy she'd have to sit beside him in at least one class for the rest of the year.