Stay Forever Please Because It Will Hurt If You Don't
Chapter 1:You Make Me Weak...
I didn't plan on loving him this much...
so much it hurts...
as i lay in a big bed i wish he was there so i cry...
no one wants to be alone...
why do i feel like i can't live without him?
Why do i feel like this?
Just....Why?
it was Friday and it was a day i had no school so i watched some TV and then went on the computer....i looked at my phone Damon tweeting on Scedge lol....he's going on about this meet up tommro...which i can't go i have no ride unless i take a bus...and then walk to the place...that hurts that i won't see him this Saturday before he goes to Cali...the place he's most happy in...i want him to be happy but....then again...i want him here with me...i blast Sleeping With Sirens songs in my ears so i can get away...but when a slow song came on about love i cried...i want Damon here and with me...when i wake up the next day its like i never cried the night before...like it never happen and that pisses me off....i hate when i do that...Dad is gone yet again and i just wake up myself and eat something for breakfast... Saturday and Damon is in South Florida and i'm stuck in the House...i hated that i have no way of getting there...so i cried again...why am i like this?Why can't i just stop crying about this one guy?...i got up and got dressed and i didn't know how but i'm going to that meet up...so i grabbed my wallet and grabbed the 15 dollars i was gonna save for the Dandelion Cafe to get the wrap Damon recommend and i ran to the bus and asked my phone where is the greyhound bus goes and it told me where and i ran to it without stopping...i have to see him again....i have to...even if i die from running without much in my belly and haven't drank water since its really hot in Florida today i sat on the bus nervous...hoping i don't miss the stop and the bus driver told me we were here and i nodded my head and got out and i asked around to see where is JCpenny court and one person told me and i said thanks and i ran and then there he was standing there in his cat shirt giving out hugs and vlogging and i saw the line and i stand there...and when it was my turn"hey i remember you"he said and smiled and he put his arm next to mine and he said"your my twinskies"he said and smiled"with the sleeping with sirens bracelet just like mine and on the same arm....you also had that school book i vlogged...you Alicia"he said and i smiled and i just cried and he looked worried"aww why are you crying"he said and i looked at him"it's just...i've been having the worst couple weeks ever and i'm just so glad i saw you again"i said and whipped my eyes"i'm sorry you have to see me like this"i said and he shooked his head"its okay...remember your part of the Fizzy Family and you know i'm always here for you"he said and i looked at him and i nodded my head"can we hang after...i'll wait for you just tell me where to meet you after this?"i said"sure...come here"he said and he grabbed my hand and he wrote something on my hand and he wrote down where to meet him and i smiled he wrote a heart next to it and he smiled"we can talk and hang out and stuff so stick around okay"he said and smiled and i nodded my head"i like your new hairstyle"he said and smiled"its really pretty"he said and i smiled"thanks...love youskies"i said and he smiled"love you tooskies"he said and he laughed a little and blushed...after like hours of just watching him get to know each and everyone of the Fizzy Family made me smile...he cares...he doesn't BS us and he's Real not Fake...i pulled up my hood and went to the place he put on my hand and i closed my eyes and listened to Sleeping With Sirens on blast feeling the songs beat and bass i got lost and then i was tapped and i opened my eyes and tooked off my earphones and it was Damon and he smiled"Hey Alicia"he said and i smiled and hugged him tight"listening to sleeping with sirens?"he said and i nodded my head"i'm gonna turn it off..."i said and he shooked his head"i want to listen to them with you...if that's okay"he said he was nervous with me as i was with him"sure"i said and he smiled"but first Follow me"he said and grabbed my wrist and we walked to his car and i sat with him in that car and he smiled and grabbed the left earphone and our heads leaned on each other and one of my fave songs from them came on it was If I'm James Dean,Your My Audrey Hepburn(acoustic) and it was nice to just stay there with him for awhile no talking just letting the music bring us away...after a couple more songs he tooked off the earphone and i took off mine and he looked at me"you don't have to go anywhere do you?...well i mean Do You have to go home anytime soon?"he said"no...i kinda well don't have a ride back i used all my money on the bus to get here"i said and he smiled"okay"he said and he looked at me"tell me about what made you cry today?"he said"well i was just so happy to see you again.."i said"what i meant is....what made you had a bad couple weeks?"he asked"a lot of things...for one Depression...loneliness...Hatered for myself...missing someone so much it hurts"i said and he looked at me"i know how it feel to feel Lonely and having depression...hating yourself.....but what i learn is to try to stay positive and hold on...be with the people you love and never give up...because giving up will make it worse...try to pull through...and i know its hard...but we will never be happy if we let it beat us"he said and i smiled"your right...i wish i could just forget the hurt and pain..."i said"we as humans have to go through pain and hurt to learn from our mistakes and help others"Damon said and i nodded my head"Damon..."i said and he looked at me and i looked down hair is covering the side of my face"i-i love you....so much....it hurts...."i said and he lifted my head and he smiled"i know silly goose....you think i don't pay attention to you on twitter enough..."he said and i looked at him"y-you read my tweets"i said"well yeah but only some...but i know how much i mean to you...why do you think i told you to wait for me over there...i wanted to get to know you...so we can be friends...isn't that what you want?"he said and i smiled"yes i want that"i said"i know you love me...to the point it hurts and you want us to be together....but right now lets be friends...best friends...we can hang out after i come back from Cali and the BrynStars Tour...we can chill when one of us really needs a friend...since i only have a few friends here in Flo Rida..."he said and laughed a little"we can hang..."he said and i smiled"that is my dream to be apart of your life...your making my dream come true"i said smiling"good...we can help each other out"he said and smiled and i hugged him tight and he smiled..."so you will wait for me right?"he said and smiled"yes...i'll wait"i said and he smiled and he grabbed my phone"pinky promise that i can trust you"he said and i smiled and pinky promised him and he smiled and he typed up his number in my phone and he laughed because i had a pic of him as my BG and he tested it out and my phone went"peaceskies" and he laughed"wow how did you do that make me saying peaceskies as a text tone?"he said"there's a app where i can make whatever my text tone"i said and he smiled and gave me my phone back and i texted him and he grabbed his phone and smiled he took a pic of me and he smiled as i took a pic too and we giggled a little"so when i go gonna wanna say good bye"he said"no i'll say hello"i said and he smiled"because Good byes are just so hard to do"i said and he smiled and he started the car"i'll bring you home...on our way there we can go eat something"he said"okay but i have no money"i said and he looked at me"i invited you that means i pay"he said and i smiled"hows Taco Bell sound like?"i said and he smiled"like an amazing idea"he said and i smiled and we went and we ate together and it was like a dream...being with Damon...Laughing and chatting..."when you have to leave to Cali?"i asked as we got close to my house"Monday...."he said and the closer we got to my house the more i wanted something to happen to not go home yet...we were at the gate and i gave him the key card and we came in the gate when it opened"nooo..."i wined"if only if you were willing to stay"i said and he looked at me"won't your dad not like that"he said"he's not home and he texted me he was gonna stay at his girlfriends house"i said and he looked at me and then he went and parked and i smiled"your gonna stay?"i said and he smiled"well...from her its 2 more hours of driving and its late and you want me to stay...so i'll stay...it be nice"he said and i smiled and i kissed his cheek"you don't know how happy you made me"i said and i got up and then he got out and we went up the stairs and i opened the door and i brought him to my Room"here is where you will sleep..."i said and he shooked his head"i'll take the couch...its your bed"i said"who said i was sleeping in the couch or you?"i said and he looked at me a little nervous"don't worry i won't do anything to you in your sleep..."i said and he looked at me"okay"he said and i grabbed my pj's from the closet and went in the bathroom and changed and then came back inside and threw my dirty clothes in the Landry and then went back to the bathroom to take out my contacts and Damon stood in the clothes he wore today..he just tooked off his beanie and shoes and i laid next to him"good night..."i said and he smiled"good night"he said and i got up and turned off the lights as i went back to bed and we fell asleep and i swear for the first time in my life i smiled in my sleep.......
so much it hurts...
as i lay in a big bed i wish he was there so i cry...
no one wants to be alone...
why do i feel like i can't live without him?
Why do i feel like this?
Just....Why?
it was Friday and it was a day i had no school so i watched some TV and then went on the computer....i looked at my phone Damon tweeting on Scedge lol....he's going on about this meet up tommro...which i can't go i have no ride unless i take a bus...and then walk to the place...that hurts that i won't see him this Saturday before he goes to Cali...the place he's most happy in...i want him to be happy but....then again...i want him here with me...i blast Sleeping With Sirens songs in my ears so i can get away...but when a slow song came on about love i cried...i want Damon here and with me...when i wake up the next day its like i never cried the night before...like it never happen and that pisses me off....i hate when i do that...Dad is gone yet again and i just wake up myself and eat something for breakfast... Saturday and Damon is in South Florida and i'm stuck in the House...i hated that i have no way of getting there...so i cried again...why am i like this?Why can't i just stop crying about this one guy?...i got up and got dressed and i didn't know how but i'm going to that meet up...so i grabbed my wallet and grabbed the 15 dollars i was gonna save for the Dandelion Cafe to get the wrap Damon recommend and i ran to the bus and asked my phone where is the greyhound bus goes and it told me where and i ran to it without stopping...i have to see him again....i have to...even if i die from running without much in my belly and haven't drank water since its really hot in Florida today i sat on the bus nervous...hoping i don't miss the stop and the bus driver told me we were here and i nodded my head and got out and i asked around to see where is JCpenny court and one person told me and i said thanks and i ran and then there he was standing there in his cat shirt giving out hugs and vlogging and i saw the line and i stand there...and when it was my turn"hey i remember you"he said and smiled and he put his arm next to mine and he said"your my twinskies"he said and smiled"with the sleeping with sirens bracelet just like mine and on the same arm....you also had that school book i vlogged...you Alicia"he said and i smiled and i just cried and he looked worried"aww why are you crying"he said and i looked at him"it's just...i've been having the worst couple weeks ever and i'm just so glad i saw you again"i said and whipped my eyes"i'm sorry you have to see me like this"i said and he shooked his head"its okay...remember your part of the Fizzy Family and you know i'm always here for you"he said and i looked at him and i nodded my head"can we hang after...i'll wait for you just tell me where to meet you after this?"i said"sure...come here"he said and he grabbed my hand and he wrote something on my hand and he wrote down where to meet him and i smiled he wrote a heart next to it and he smiled"we can talk and hang out and stuff so stick around okay"he said and smiled and i nodded my head"i like your new hairstyle"he said and smiled"its really pretty"he said and i smiled"thanks...love youskies"i said and he smiled"love you tooskies"he said and he laughed a little and blushed...after like hours of just watching him get to know each and everyone of the Fizzy Family made me smile...he cares...he doesn't BS us and he's Real not Fake...i pulled up my hood and went to the place he put on my hand and i closed my eyes and listened to Sleeping With Sirens on blast feeling the songs beat and bass i got lost and then i was tapped and i opened my eyes and tooked off my earphones and it was Damon and he smiled"Hey Alicia"he said and i smiled and hugged him tight"listening to sleeping with sirens?"he said and i nodded my head"i'm gonna turn it off..."i said and he shooked his head"i want to listen to them with you...if that's okay"he said he was nervous with me as i was with him"sure"i said and he smiled"but first Follow me"he said and grabbed my wrist and we walked to his car and i sat with him in that car and he smiled and grabbed the left earphone and our heads leaned on each other and one of my fave songs from them came on it was If I'm James Dean,Your My Audrey Hepburn(acoustic) and it was nice to just stay there with him for awhile no talking just letting the music bring us away...after a couple more songs he tooked off the earphone and i took off mine and he looked at me"you don't have to go anywhere do you?...well i mean Do You have to go home anytime soon?"he said"no...i kinda well don't have a ride back i used all my money on the bus to get here"i said and he smiled"okay"he said and he looked at me"tell me about what made you cry today?"he said"well i was just so happy to see you again.."i said"what i meant is....what made you had a bad couple weeks?"he asked"a lot of things...for one Depression...loneliness...Hatered for myself...missing someone so much it hurts"i said and he looked at me"i know how it feel to feel Lonely and having depression...hating yourself.....but what i learn is to try to stay positive and hold on...be with the people you love and never give up...because giving up will make it worse...try to pull through...and i know its hard...but we will never be happy if we let it beat us"he said and i smiled"your right...i wish i could just forget the hurt and pain..."i said"we as humans have to go through pain and hurt to learn from our mistakes and help others"Damon said and i nodded my head"Damon..."i said and he looked at me and i looked down hair is covering the side of my face"i-i love you....so much....it hurts...."i said and he lifted my head and he smiled"i know silly goose....you think i don't pay attention to you on twitter enough..."he said and i looked at him"y-you read my tweets"i said"well yeah but only some...but i know how much i mean to you...why do you think i told you to wait for me over there...i wanted to get to know you...so we can be friends...isn't that what you want?"he said and i smiled"yes i want that"i said"i know you love me...to the point it hurts and you want us to be together....but right now lets be friends...best friends...we can hang out after i come back from Cali and the BrynStars Tour...we can chill when one of us really needs a friend...since i only have a few friends here in Flo Rida..."he said and laughed a little"we can hang..."he said and i smiled"that is my dream to be apart of your life...your making my dream come true"i said smiling"good...we can help each other out"he said and smiled and i hugged him tight and he smiled..."so you will wait for me right?"he said and smiled"yes...i'll wait"i said and he smiled and he grabbed my phone"pinky promise that i can trust you"he said and i smiled and pinky promised him and he smiled and he typed up his number in my phone and he laughed because i had a pic of him as my BG and he tested it out and my phone went"peaceskies" and he laughed"wow how did you do that make me saying peaceskies as a text tone?"he said"there's a app where i can make whatever my text tone"i said and he smiled and gave me my phone back and i texted him and he grabbed his phone and smiled he took a pic of me and he smiled as i took a pic too and we giggled a little"so when i go gonna wanna say good bye"he said"no i'll say hello"i said and he smiled"because Good byes are just so hard to do"i said and he smiled and he started the car"i'll bring you home...on our way there we can go eat something"he said"okay but i have no money"i said and he looked at me"i invited you that means i pay"he said and i smiled"hows Taco Bell sound like?"i said and he smiled"like an amazing idea"he said and i smiled and we went and we ate together and it was like a dream...being with Damon...Laughing and chatting..."when you have to leave to Cali?"i asked as we got close to my house"Monday...."he said and the closer we got to my house the more i wanted something to happen to not go home yet...we were at the gate and i gave him the key card and we came in the gate when it opened"nooo..."i wined"if only if you were willing to stay"i said and he looked at me"won't your dad not like that"he said"he's not home and he texted me he was gonna stay at his girlfriends house"i said and he looked at me and then he went and parked and i smiled"your gonna stay?"i said and he smiled"well...from her its 2 more hours of driving and its late and you want me to stay...so i'll stay...it be nice"he said and i smiled and i kissed his cheek"you don't know how happy you made me"i said and i got up and then he got out and we went up the stairs and i opened the door and i brought him to my Room"here is where you will sleep..."i said and he shooked his head"i'll take the couch...its your bed"i said"who said i was sleeping in the couch or you?"i said and he looked at me a little nervous"don't worry i won't do anything to you in your sleep..."i said and he looked at me"okay"he said and i grabbed my pj's from the closet and went in the bathroom and changed and then came back inside and threw my dirty clothes in the Landry and then went back to the bathroom to take out my contacts and Damon stood in the clothes he wore today..he just tooked off his beanie and shoes and i laid next to him"good night..."i said and he smiled"good night"he said and i got up and turned off the lights as i went back to bed and we fell asleep and i swear for the first time in my life i smiled in my sleep.......