Youth Gone Wild

I almost burned my fingers when I took the final drag from the cigarette, too deep in my thoughts about the British man, my past and my future. All this thinking and dreaming made my head hurt and it made me scared of dreaming while I slept.

I wished I wouldn’t see dreams, because only dreams I ever had were memories, usually bad ones reminding me about all the bad things I had done or the bad things that had happened to me. It was rare for me to see a dream about the good times I had. It was like my dreams were playing their own version of Russian roulette, making the good dreams the winners of the game.

I locked the door behind me and made my way upstairs to my room, straight into huge bed covered in few too many pillows.

‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ I laughed, words blurring out of my mouth. I almost fell to the pool like my beer just did due the hard laughing. Everyone was staring me like I was a nutcase but in reality, I was just really drunk just like everybody else. I loved to spend my nights like this, just hanging around even when I almost always ended up falling and hurting myself, I guess I had an angel watching over me because I never did, never, not even a single scratch on my ivory skin, which I adored really much. No one I this area had a skin like mine, so pure and pale.

‘Darling, I’m as serious as I can be.’ The boy winked and handed me a new can of cold beer which I took without hesitating. I loved the temperature in Dubai, it was so warm and time to time too warm so everything cold that was offered to me I took. I almost walked around naked because the hot weather, which really got a lot attention from the boys around me even when everyone knew I wasn’t a girl like that and I would never be.

We had been talking about last week’s party, how half of our gang got caught to the cops for braking into the local mall kind of place in the middle of the night to party and fuck shit up. That is the main reason why most of our friends were missing this party. While we were drinking and enjoying the freedom, our mates were locked into their rooms with their parents checking up on them every hour to make sure they didn’t sneak out.

My parents knew I was out and that they couldn’t stop me even if they tried to. I was young and I had my rights to have fun and besides, I never got caught to the police so I wasn’t in any trouble, so why would they even bother to complain.

‘What if the cops show up?’ One of my new girlfriends asked, straightening her leather jackets collar, nervously looking over the hole in the fence that we used as entrance when we sneaked into the local public pool. I rolled my heavily painted eyes and took a big gulp from the wonderful drink I was holding tightly. I reached over her face to brush some of her brown hair from her face that was hiding her green eyes.

‘Calm your tits cunt, we can always run away, they have never caught us and never will.’ And it was true, we never got caught. We had been in many parties like this one, sneaking into places that were locked for the night with a pack of teens that liked to rebel. There were different people every time except for me, my best friend who was dry humping on some new guy, and my boyfriend who always found out about these gatherings.

‘Give me a kiss.’ I did grabby hands towards my British wonder who answered with a smirk before he pulled me into him, whispering cute things into my ear before he pressed his lips gently on mine. I loved how his lips tasted like alcohol, it was intoxicating and not the only thing I loved about his lips. I think they were meant to be on mine. We were young and stupid but I think he was something I shouldn’t throw away.

‘Please, stop or I’m going to puke.’ One of my boyfriend’s band mates patted our backs. Sometimes I hated our friends, when they interrupted us just like now. We slowly pulled away from each other’s smiling and staring deeply into each other’s eyes. His brown eyes were beautiful and they got me lost in them. I loved his eyes; they made me feel warm, and like everything were all right in the world.

‘It’s midnight, happy sixteenth birthday love.’ He blurred into my ear right before we heard the sirens which created beautiful red and blue shadows all around the outdoor pool and every surface around it. The boy took my hand and dragged me into a long run for our survival.

Everyone who was just few minutes ago chilling, was now running like there was a murderer after them. I of course was laughing as I ran hand in hand with my boy wonder and best friend as we ran ahead of everyone, making it pretty clear that we weren’t going to get caught.

I woke up, sweat dripping from my face, smudging my pillow into makeup I didn’t bother to wash off before I went to bed; I was too tired to do such thing. This isn’t the first time I had this dream this week. Actually, I had it every night since the day at the beach, like my brain was trying to tell me something but I just couldn’t figure out what. I felt so stressed and confused because of it.

I got up from the bed and took a long shower, trying to wash off the sweat and the worry from my body before I left the bathroom to make my morning coffee with my baby pink coffee maker I adored over all I owned.

I kept thinking the dream as I tried to enjoy my coffee. All those years ago I was the most known girl in the part of Dubai I lived. I was famous for my attitude and for the things I said. I had no fears what so ever, I was fearless which created quite a reputation for me. I was proud of the things I did and I still was, they made me who I was and I loved except the quietness.