Youth Gone Wild

I shook my head and reached for my notebook and pen. This silly seventeen years old lad wanted to help me to get Ben when I already had him, kind of.

I wasn't going to try to brake Ben current relationship, I wasn't like that anymore.

His already mine, he will always be, like I'm his. I wrote, tears dripping down from my cheeks, leaving stains on the paper. I kept staring the words I had written like I was mentally torturing myself.

Few hours passed and I were alone. I didn't feel like eating when I was hungry, I didn't feel like crying anymore even if I should have cried. I didn't do anything but stare the screen of the telly, not paying attention to any of the music videos the MTV was playing.

I heard buzzing from somewhere near, which I first thought were just something my mind made up. When it ended I snapped out of the haze I were in.

I started to go through every possible pocked I had, but I couldn't find the device that just a minute ago was buzzing. I gave up and pressed my head full of thoughts and memories against my palms, wishing time traveling would be possible so i could go back in time and save myself from forgetting or even stop myself from meeting Ben.

The first option was something I would rather do. I couldn't stop myself from meeting the boy that made my teenage years absolutely mint, I'm too selfish to do that.

When i lifted my head up, my eyes wondered upon the white, flat and overrated device on the table, the screen against the dark brown wood, my coffee table was made off. The device had iPhone written on it's back which had absolutely no scratches even when I've owned it for few months now. I hardly used my phone, so it just normally sat on it's place in the kitchen table, collecting dust.

I reached over to my phone and unlocked the screen with no background image, just a notification for a one new message from number i didn't know.

I were shocked how someone managed to write so long message. I were even more shocked when i read the name in the end, which made me wonder how can anyone write a message this long, in such a short time, or maybe i were just really slow in texting.

It's been almost six years when i saw you leave. I remember the day, when Joe called me and told that you were moving away. After hearing those words, i hung up on him and ran, as fast as i could so i could see you, and when i got to your house, you didn't remember me and my heart broke. I hated you for the few minutes for broking your promise, until your mother told me everything.
That time, the pieces of my heart fell out of my chest and everything good died from my life. I wanted to kill the man that used and hurt you, i wanted to make you remember me, but i had no time.
I watches as you and your family drove away, i stayed still until i couldn't see the car anymore. I ran straight back to my house and i climbed on the roof. I swore to the whole world i would never forget you and i would never stop looking for you.
Year ago, i lost all the hope and found Samantha. She took you out of my mind for short period, but you always managed to find your way back.
Then there's the day i saw a beautiful and awfully familiar bird on the beach. I didn't believe my eyes when i saw you, so i thought you were just part of my imagination. Luckily the bloody wind blew your hat away. Sam saw you and said how silly you were when you didn't run after the hat that by her, was really expensive. She saw you, so you were real.
You pretty much know the rest, just not the part where my heart stopped when you touched me to tell your name. From that moment i decided to never let you go again.
I still love you more than anything Siren.
If it's okay, I'm coming to see you in the morning. What ever you answer, I'll still be there.
-Ben

I didn't notice i was crying until there was teardrops on the phones screen. I wiped my eyes with my sleeves, sniffing and wiped the teats from the phone. I didn't know what to answer and o started to panic. I didn't want Ben to think i were ignoring him by making him wait for my response.

There's a key taped under the mailbox.

I sat in front of my laptop in the kitchen, watching different interviews of Asking Alexandria from YouTube.

Ben was still the cocky wanker he was when we were teens. He had this stupid spark in his eyes everytime he had an opportunity to talk about sex or wanking. He had a painful look everytime the interviewer asked about their band name and childish spark everytime he talked about Dubai.

I also learned the full names of his band mates and managed to get a face to the names, the faces that I've seen once already, at my party. I guess they were here with Ben.

Danny Worsnop, Asking Alexandria's singer was cocky, sassy bastard with almost horizontal ginger beard, chubby features. He had a longish hair and looked really tired. According to fans, him and Ben had a bromance and they were called Bursnop, which was kind of brilliant.

James Cassells, the drummer with a mint accent. He had really manly features and still managed to look like a little boy, lost in the world. James also was "having" a bromance with my Dubai lover, Brussells or Brassells, what ever made your knickers more wet.

Sam Betteley was the tiny bassist with a wicked smile. He looked the most mature and smartest of all of them, even though according to everyone, James was the smartes due the fact he went to uni for drumming which made no sense at all.

Cameron Liddell, tall, handsome guitarist who looked like he had no idea of what was happening around him. He had a long dark wavy hair, but not as wavy as Ben's was. Cameron had a longish neck which suited him propa well since he was skinny as fuck.

They all were world class drunks and twats, which wasn't surprise since Ben was one too.

I spent the whole night searching information of the band and Ben and next thing I noticed, sun was coming up. I saw no reason to go to bed anymore, so I closed the computer, put coffee maker on and went to take a hot shower.

When my hair was flat and dripping water. My roots were dark when the rest of my hair was white. I really didn't see any reasons to re-dye my hair when it looked more better with a bit of my original colour.

When I got my hair dry and it was sitting on the top of my head as a messy, white bun, I started to stare the word Depths tattooed above my right eyebrow.

All of my tattoos meant something, and the meaning of this ones was the memory loss, how deep I were in hopelessness and how I thought I wouldn't get out of it.

My reflection kept going blurry by the hot steam that still floated in the bathroom, and it was getting annoying. I could have gone into my bedroom to do my makeup but I already started doing it, so there was no sense to go to another room now.

I was nearly ready when I heard the key turn in the front door. I just kept doing my makeup, waiting for Ben to find me.

'Siren?' I heard him shout from the hallway after he closed the door. I knocked on the bathroom door as loudly as I could. I heard Ben laugh a bit.

'You here?' the door opened a bit and Ben peeked in. I gave him a small wave and started to apply mascara. Ben had a light blush on his cheeks as he stared my tattooed body, only covered with towel. He kept waiting for me to get ready with the "face paint" like he called it and went to choose me clothes to wear.

'Red underwear and white shirt.' Ben smirked and laid the clothes on the bed with a pair of black high waist jeans shorts.

I rolled my eyes when he went through my underwear drawer, looking like a little kid in candy store.

I didn't bother to make him turn around or leave the room while I got dressed. He had seen my body before, just without tattoos, belly and hip piercings.

'Done?' smile sneaked on his lips and I nodded, leading him downstairs.

I poured the coffee into two takeaway mugs and handed the other one to Ben, who gave me confused look.

The British guitarist followed me out of the kitchen and stared as I put my black, studded Jeffery Campbell's on and grabbed my car keys from the drawer.

I quickly threw few letters on my notebook and hold it in front of his face.

'So I'm here to company you as you go shopping?' He sighed as I nodded.