Status: Ongoing
The Beginning of the End
The Mysterious, Strange, and Abnormal
Hello, my name is Alyson Karissa Smith. I'm 16 and a junior at a high school in Northern Maine. I consider myself unique, since I've known myself to never be like my peers. I just couldn't fit in, the way everyone else does. I couldn't blend it, the way those cliques and people do. It could be a bad thing in most cases, but I see it as a good thing. Being an individual is never something to frown on, especially at a high school like mine.
I'm 16 and I've never gone beyond the crush phase with a guy. Maybe I just suck at flirting or maybe guys don't find me as appealing as the other girls. I don't have many guy friends, because I develop feelings too easily. I could say I'm okay with being single, but everyone knows that's a total lie. I think of love as this thing that just happens, when you least expect and maybe don't even need it. It hits you when you're vulnerable and in need of help, or when you're okay and in need of a person to open up to. I want to find what my friends have, someone that is a best friend but a lovely person to date as well. I've come to the conclusion that I could graduate without finding that.
My friends tell me it seems like I'm always chasing a guy, hoping for something more. They tell me to stop chasing and he'll just find me out of the blue. I know they're right, but at my state, I cannot come close to believing that. Guys don't just want a girl that sits back and does nothing. They like it when girls take charge, right? I've always got a crush and a guy to blabber about. It may get annoying but I don't know what to do, when I fall for like every guy I know. It's not fair.
High school isn't easy and as junior year keeps speeding past me, I cannot believe it's almost over. I don't want to think about college and my future but it is unavoidable. College sounds fun, exciting, and a total blast but scary, nerve-wracking, and anxiety-ridden. This is the beginning of the end.
* * * *
"Alyson? I told you to be ready by 6 and it's 6:30. Come on, now!" yelled my best friend Caitlin.
"I'm coming! I just cannot seem to get my makeup right today!" I screamed back, as she lost her patience.
Caitlin and I have known each other since we were little kids and we grew up together, since we were 6. She lived down the street from me and our parents have been friends for as long as I can remember. We did everything together and talked about anything that came to mind. She knew me better than I knew myself, and sometimes it scared me. But I could trust her with my life and she knew she could do the same.
I looked in the mirror one more time and decided against eye makeup for today. My eyes hurt from the amount of eye shadow I had applied and re-applied in the last ten minutes. I grabbed my bag, my phone, and headed downstairs.
"Well, it's about time! I was thinking you'd never come downstairs!" Caitlin proclaimed, relived to see me.
"My makeup looks so terrible today, I need a bag over my head to face anyone!"
"Stop it, you look fine and you always do." Caitlin reassured me, with a nudge and a wink.
"Thanks, but I disagree."
"I think you're beautiful and I can think of tons of guys that do too!"
"Then why haven't any of these guys asked me out yet? Hmmm, hmmmmm?"
"You intimidate them? They choke on their words just practicing what to say?"
The fact that Caitlin saw me as beautiful blew my mind. She was drop-dead gorgeous. Tall, with long legs and flowing curling dark brown hair. She always knew how to compliment her baby blue eyes with the right eye shadow colors and she never looked bad a day in her life. Her parents were rich so she had one of the best wardrobes in our grade, let alone the school. Sometimes, I wish I was that gorgeous.
* * * *
After a twenty-minute car ride stuck in traffic, we finally pulled into the parking lot of the church across the street. It was a warm spring day, so we decided to wear somewhat matching outfits. I was in a floral sleeveless blue dress with a light blue jean jacket and gladiator sandals. Caitlin looked stunning in a floral sleeveless pink dress with a dark blue jean jacket and gladiator sandals. I always felt best when we matched, but today I couldn't say I felt so spectacular. Something felt off, like bad things were going to happen. I shrugged it off and stepped out of the car as Caitlin complained about parking spaces.
The hangout spot before school was the cafeteria. I wasn't sure why, since the cell phone reception was terrible and the breakfast food was either disgusting or way too much to eat before first period. We were heading down the stairs, when I bumped into another student and dropped my phone. He offered to pick it up for me and apologized for not looking out. I told him it was fine and we moved on.
"Who was that cutie? You know just who to bump into!" Caitlin said, with a smirk slowly touching her facial features.
"I have no idea. He was too good for me anyway."
Caitlin nudged me and gave me her best shocked expression and I knew exactly what she was thinking. She couldn't believe I thought such a thing! Do you blame me? That's what I thought.
The fifteen minutes before school started passed slow and it seemed like Tuesday morning was full of awkward conversation. I couldn't concentrate on what anyone was saying, because I kept re-analyzing my little run in with a stranger. Who was he?
I'm 16 and I've never gone beyond the crush phase with a guy. Maybe I just suck at flirting or maybe guys don't find me as appealing as the other girls. I don't have many guy friends, because I develop feelings too easily. I could say I'm okay with being single, but everyone knows that's a total lie. I think of love as this thing that just happens, when you least expect and maybe don't even need it. It hits you when you're vulnerable and in need of help, or when you're okay and in need of a person to open up to. I want to find what my friends have, someone that is a best friend but a lovely person to date as well. I've come to the conclusion that I could graduate without finding that.
My friends tell me it seems like I'm always chasing a guy, hoping for something more. They tell me to stop chasing and he'll just find me out of the blue. I know they're right, but at my state, I cannot come close to believing that. Guys don't just want a girl that sits back and does nothing. They like it when girls take charge, right? I've always got a crush and a guy to blabber about. It may get annoying but I don't know what to do, when I fall for like every guy I know. It's not fair.
High school isn't easy and as junior year keeps speeding past me, I cannot believe it's almost over. I don't want to think about college and my future but it is unavoidable. College sounds fun, exciting, and a total blast but scary, nerve-wracking, and anxiety-ridden. This is the beginning of the end.
* * * *
"Alyson? I told you to be ready by 6 and it's 6:30. Come on, now!" yelled my best friend Caitlin.
"I'm coming! I just cannot seem to get my makeup right today!" I screamed back, as she lost her patience.
Caitlin and I have known each other since we were little kids and we grew up together, since we were 6. She lived down the street from me and our parents have been friends for as long as I can remember. We did everything together and talked about anything that came to mind. She knew me better than I knew myself, and sometimes it scared me. But I could trust her with my life and she knew she could do the same.
I looked in the mirror one more time and decided against eye makeup for today. My eyes hurt from the amount of eye shadow I had applied and re-applied in the last ten minutes. I grabbed my bag, my phone, and headed downstairs.
"Well, it's about time! I was thinking you'd never come downstairs!" Caitlin proclaimed, relived to see me.
"My makeup looks so terrible today, I need a bag over my head to face anyone!"
"Stop it, you look fine and you always do." Caitlin reassured me, with a nudge and a wink.
"Thanks, but I disagree."
"I think you're beautiful and I can think of tons of guys that do too!"
"Then why haven't any of these guys asked me out yet? Hmmm, hmmmmm?"
"You intimidate them? They choke on their words just practicing what to say?"
The fact that Caitlin saw me as beautiful blew my mind. She was drop-dead gorgeous. Tall, with long legs and flowing curling dark brown hair. She always knew how to compliment her baby blue eyes with the right eye shadow colors and she never looked bad a day in her life. Her parents were rich so she had one of the best wardrobes in our grade, let alone the school. Sometimes, I wish I was that gorgeous.
* * * *
After a twenty-minute car ride stuck in traffic, we finally pulled into the parking lot of the church across the street. It was a warm spring day, so we decided to wear somewhat matching outfits. I was in a floral sleeveless blue dress with a light blue jean jacket and gladiator sandals. Caitlin looked stunning in a floral sleeveless pink dress with a dark blue jean jacket and gladiator sandals. I always felt best when we matched, but today I couldn't say I felt so spectacular. Something felt off, like bad things were going to happen. I shrugged it off and stepped out of the car as Caitlin complained about parking spaces.
The hangout spot before school was the cafeteria. I wasn't sure why, since the cell phone reception was terrible and the breakfast food was either disgusting or way too much to eat before first period. We were heading down the stairs, when I bumped into another student and dropped my phone. He offered to pick it up for me and apologized for not looking out. I told him it was fine and we moved on.
"Who was that cutie? You know just who to bump into!" Caitlin said, with a smirk slowly touching her facial features.
"I have no idea. He was too good for me anyway."
Caitlin nudged me and gave me her best shocked expression and I knew exactly what she was thinking. She couldn't believe I thought such a thing! Do you blame me? That's what I thought.
The fifteen minutes before school started passed slow and it seemed like Tuesday morning was full of awkward conversation. I couldn't concentrate on what anyone was saying, because I kept re-analyzing my little run in with a stranger. Who was he?