The Beginning of the End

Four weeks ago, four weeks ago today he broke up with me. It's been four entire weeks of me being miserably single and I still couldn't wrap my head around it. Where did we go wrong? What the hell happened to the happy couple we once were? None of it made any sense.

Four weeks ago, we were happily together. Prom had just passed and I slept over his house the night before and the night of. Nothing too exciting happened, don't worry no one lost their virginity. But we had such an amazing weekend together. Then, almost four days later he broke it off. What happened? Did those kind words, the phrases like "you're the only one for me, I don't want anyone else." mean nothing?

But despite daydreaming about what could be (again), I had to return back to reality. Adam wasn't going to get back together with me and the chances of us talking anytime soon were slim to none. So I decided it was time to move on, or try to at least.

I walked up to a close guy friend of mine and asked him to the movies for Friday, to see the Great Gatsby opening weekend. He quickly accepted and I couldn't been happier. I've been wanting to take it to the next level with him for a while ;)

But something about asking him just did not feel right. No, it wasn't him. It was me, I felt like I wasn't over my ex yet but I could not let that stop me now. Heartbreak was not going to own me, and moving on was something I had to do by myself.

* * * *

Friday night came and I felt myself dying inside, of too many emotions. Nervous, excited, uptight, scared as heck, and regretting any further romantic thoughts. I wanted to kiss him and hold his hand but I didn't want to. What the hell is wrong with me?

We got halfway into the movie, there was a romantic montage of Gatsby and Daisy. I knew it was time to go for it. I put my arm on the armrest, just enough to brush my hand against his "by mistake." Now, I just wait for Sam to follow up with the gesture I'd been waiting for. I honestly thought he never would, but after a solid ten minutes he went for it. It felt so wrong, but so right. I wish my head could just decide already!