Just One Yesterday

Life seemed to be rushing at the speed of light again and after four years of not being on the road it was hard to adjust. Just like the old days Pete found himself awake at all hours of the night when he had worked so hard over the years for a regular sleep schedule. But something about being on the road again, feeling the pavement rush past underneath him not only gave him butterflies but also brought back old memories. Old memories he wished he could forget but with the one person who he wanted to forget was asleep just a few feet away from him, it wasn't something he could let go of.

If Pete was honest though, he didn't want to forget. Why would he want to forget the love of his life? Why would he want to just let him go and pretend that those years never happened? No, he wouldn't do that. They were still best friends now after all and they were both happy in their respective lives. But it didn't mean Pete didn't miss him in that way sometimes.

Rolling over Pete grabbed his laptop and gave in to the fact that he wasn't going to get any sleep that night. He smirked to himself remembering how easily he used to be able to get Patrick to sing to him. How if he just called, even from five feet away, Patrick would sing and lull him off to sleep. It always worked and he was sure it still would, but he was sure that Patrick wouldn't really be up for it these days.

Turning on his laptop Pete wiggled around in his bunk until he was comfortable. A picture of Bronx showing up as his desktop image which made him smile. It was almost enough to make him forget his worries but it was just an inch off base.

Opening an old folder labeled "The Beginning" he typed in the password and laughed to himself. It seemed silly to hide these files but at the same time they felt like his little hidden secret. They were Pete's and Pete's only so he made sure to keep it that way.

As the file popped up on his screen he sighed, looking at the pictures he has stored there. There were pictures with Joe and Andy, even Dirty but most of the pictures were of himself and Patrick. Or even just shots he got when Patrick didn't know he was looking. Those were his favorites, they captured the moments when Patrick was most himself. That little nerdy angel that flew into his life so many years ago now. In reality, he was the one that got away.

Clicking through each photo he'd smile a bit more, remembering when and where he took each one. Feeling glad that he had taken them because it held on to the past that he wanted to keep so much. It was when he fell upon one specific picture that made his stomach turn. Guilt and butterflies swarming around his gut but at the same time he wished he could go back to that day and relive that memory.

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"Pete, come on, we've got to go! We're going to miss the movie," Patrick said from the other side of the apartment. They were sharing a small place near downtown Chicago. It was run down and cheap but it's what they could afford and it was theirs. It's where the music happened and that was the magic that made life worth it. At lest that's the way it was for Pete.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" he called poking his head out of the bedroom. "I was just taking some pictures to satisfy the fangirls." He laughed, still not completely understanding why the girls always went so crazy. But he found it fun to feed into their ways. "Come here, come take one with me and then we can go."

"Pete, really? I don't know why you do it and don't think you're going to drag me into it," Patrick said pushing his hat farther down on his head. Pete knew Patrick didn't really like having his picture taken but it was part of the business so he was just going to have to get over it.

"Come on, please!" he said going over to take Patrick by the hand. "Just one good one and I wont bother you about it again okay?" Pete bounced on the balls of his feet, a big charming smile on his face that he always knew got to Patrick.

They had this thing between them, a thing that no one really talked about. Most people thought it was just musical chemistry but it was more than that. There was something there, something that both seemed afraid to admit. Like saying it out loud would change the world and make things harder or complicated. Though Pete was getting restless of holding it in.

"Just one and I'll tell you a secret," He said with a wink and it was then that he knew he had Patrick.

"Okay, one good one and this secret better be good! Not like the last one where you said your farts smell like flowers because that was bullshit," Patrick said shaking his head. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose he let Pete pull him to the hallway. Pete had said to make it good so Patrick did the first pose that came to mind. A girly kissy face, he figured fan girls would have a field day with that.

Pete snapped the picture then looked at it, laughing as he looked over at the younger man. "My god, why are you so damn adorable?" he asked shaking his head.

"I believe you owe me a secret," Patrick said crossing his arm. Not all of Pete's secrets were pleasant and Patrick knew this. But after a few years and the fact that they were best friends really changed how Patrick viewed the man.

"You're right, I do. The secret is, I want to take you to this movie and I want it to be a date. A proper date where I buy the tickets and popcorn. A date where I try to hold your hand and if you're interested you hold it back," he said, finally saying the unspoken thing that was so thick between them.

Patrick stared at Pete for a long moment before biting his lip. He had so many things he could say but his tongue didn't seemed to be working anymore. Even when he opened his mouth the words didn't come and he hated it because he wanted to tell Pete yes. Of course he wanted that too but it just wouldn't come.

"Look.... just come with me and when I hold your hand in the theater and I will, I'll know it's a yes if you let me do it okay?" Pete said looking Patrick straight in the eye.

With a nod Pete led the way out of the apartment and they were off to the movies. Then of course when Pete took Patrick's hand that night the younger man laced his fingers with the others and even rested his head on his shoulder. It was there that their relationship started, though it was still unspoken to everyone else. But between Patrick and Pete, the secret kisses and the nights cuddled in one bunk were theirs and theirs alone.

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Pete sighed and turned off his computer when he heard a sound come from outside of his bunk. He figured someone was up to use the bathroom since it still wasn't even passed 3 yet. So he rolled over and let the memory swim around in his head. It made him sad because it was only a memory but happy because it happened at all.

Then Pete found himself frowning as the divider to his bunk was pulled back. It was to dark to see at first since had been staring at the computer but then he heard that voice. The voice he had been hoping to hear.

"Can I sleep with you?" Patrick asked softly, not even waiting for an answer before climbing in with Pete.

Pete smiled and made space for the smaller man. His arms wrapping around him automatically. He could feel his heart leap and even though he knew this would just be a tour thing. Pete would take what he could get because any moment, no matter how small, was worth it.

"Always Trick, always."