All This Pain...

I was leaving the hospital for the first Time in a week. Sadly though not discharged, just to the cafeteria with Jinxx and Sammi. I wanted Ash to come but he was busy with something, I don't know what. He's probably just avoiding me.. I ruined the tour for him.d not only him but the rest of the band too.

We got to the cafeteria and I winced as I slowly sat down on one of the plastic crappy chairs. "Andy what do you want to eat?" The thought of food made me sick. Don't judge me anymore than you are but I've been...starving myself. The thought of me being fat ruined my self esteem and no one would want me.
"Um..I'm not hungry." "Andy you haven't eaten in at least a day don't be crazy." A sigh of defeat left my lips. I wasn't in the mood to fight or defend myself so what the hell. "Just a sandwich is fine..thanks Jinxx." "Anything Andy."

When he came back with my food I ate a little bit of it and drank some water. Of course he got me skippy peanut butter :). "So Andy...what's up with you." I froze in fear. "Wh-what do you mean?" CRAP! Stupid stutter! "Your different these last couple of mouths..skinnier..paler...quieter.." Tears fought my eyes and there was a war in my head. Do I let it out...something bad could happen! Oh what the hell..
"Jinxx... I have feelings for someone.. I need to be perfect for them.." "Oh Andy..you are perfect for anyone." My head shook and a tears fell. "Not for Ashley.." At that moment my life ruined...

...someone cleared their throat behind me...

Not just anyone...

But Ashley Purdy