Whatsername And Suicide - Where Have We Gone Wrong?
Five
There’s an island off the coast of Galveston, Wreckers Island, You drive along the coast and take the ferry to get there. It’s the perfect place to be….that island, it’s closed off and secluded, you’re surrounded by water and yet nothing…It is a perfect place to clear your head…
On the way if you look closely and watch the sparkling sun line you can see dolphins jumping out of the water. The whole time I watched I had a soundtrack playing in my head but the songs kept switching, Denali, her voice floated over me forcefully, as I stood on the top deck of the ferry. Kase next to me cuddled close to William’s chest, both of them vibrant and peaceful, windblown and smiling.
When I was 14, Kase marrying William was the end of my life, She announced it in the living room with the family gathered around, I remember bursting into tears.. I clenched my teeth all through the ceremony but the tears rolled down my face anyways. I was losing her, my 2nd mom, my closest protector and guide. What did she know about marriage? She was 19! He’s only 20! Only kids.
I liked William though, if I had to lose Kase to someone, why not a brooding philosopher with an artistic streak? Why not the only indie-cool person I knew of. I liked William. He introduced me to new music and approved of my James Dean obsession, he thought I was cool and I had style, to my friends style didn’t matter, they didn’t know of James Dean or Jean Harlow or Pavement or Dante’ and “Little Bastard” was just a name to call someone who stole their own one of a kind website layouts. My friends weren’t near as cool as William so I hung around and he became my brother.
But liking William, and even loving him as a brother, wasn’t enough to keep me from crying that day in March…
“Fay! I can’t believe you didn’t smile!” Poor Kase, looking over her wedding pictures I was the one solemn one in the bunch, my hair pulled back into a bun and me trying hard not to cry made a grimace instead of a smile, and that lipstick entirely out of place on me.
That day...
Kase and I hadn’t been close since, she’d moved away and moved on, she was still my big sister and my second mom, but we never talked, and everything seemed like it fell into place without talking. We didn’t really need to talk…we just hung out and laughed and lived and the life part took care of it’s self…
This was today.
We made it to the island and after exploring the old army fort we ran around barefoot and swung on the swing set.
This is a safe place.
This was my safe place.
I could die here.
This is my safe place.
I could die because this was happiness…or something like it.
…this is my safe place…
Happiness is fleeting…so is death.
Hand in hand we go down…
Flying in the swings in the dusk, it was dawn for us, it was new and it was special.
It was the start but I didn’t know of what.
It was the start, but I thought it was for the good.
It was a start, and I wish I had died right then.
On the way if you look closely and watch the sparkling sun line you can see dolphins jumping out of the water. The whole time I watched I had a soundtrack playing in my head but the songs kept switching, Denali, her voice floated over me forcefully, as I stood on the top deck of the ferry. Kase next to me cuddled close to William’s chest, both of them vibrant and peaceful, windblown and smiling.
When I was 14, Kase marrying William was the end of my life, She announced it in the living room with the family gathered around, I remember bursting into tears.. I clenched my teeth all through the ceremony but the tears rolled down my face anyways. I was losing her, my 2nd mom, my closest protector and guide. What did she know about marriage? She was 19! He’s only 20! Only kids.
I liked William though, if I had to lose Kase to someone, why not a brooding philosopher with an artistic streak? Why not the only indie-cool person I knew of. I liked William. He introduced me to new music and approved of my James Dean obsession, he thought I was cool and I had style, to my friends style didn’t matter, they didn’t know of James Dean or Jean Harlow or Pavement or Dante’ and “Little Bastard” was just a name to call someone who stole their own one of a kind website layouts. My friends weren’t near as cool as William so I hung around and he became my brother.
But liking William, and even loving him as a brother, wasn’t enough to keep me from crying that day in March…
“Fay! I can’t believe you didn’t smile!” Poor Kase, looking over her wedding pictures I was the one solemn one in the bunch, my hair pulled back into a bun and me trying hard not to cry made a grimace instead of a smile, and that lipstick entirely out of place on me.
That day...
Kase and I hadn’t been close since, she’d moved away and moved on, she was still my big sister and my second mom, but we never talked, and everything seemed like it fell into place without talking. We didn’t really need to talk…we just hung out and laughed and lived and the life part took care of it’s self…
This was today.
We made it to the island and after exploring the old army fort we ran around barefoot and swung on the swing set.
This is a safe place.
This was my safe place.
I could die here.
This is my safe place.
I could die because this was happiness…or something like it.
…this is my safe place…
Happiness is fleeting…so is death.
Hand in hand we go down…
Flying in the swings in the dusk, it was dawn for us, it was new and it was special.
It was the start but I didn’t know of what.
It was the start, but I thought it was for the good.
It was a start, and I wish I had died right then.
♠ ♠ ♠
New Chapter - it's short, the next will be up in a momnet, I'm writing ahead, and have been busy.Comment please!