Whatsername And Suicide - Where Have We Gone Wrong?

Going to Wreckers Island was the start of something. Being kissed was the start of something.
But not something good, something like a game, something scary, something secretive, and something I didn’t want anyone to ever know…

Scott, one of Kase’s and Will’s friends from Houston, came down for a night to hang out and play video games. We went out to Fuddruckers for burgers, and Adam was home when we got back to the apartment.

I shook off my jacket and put it over the back of the couch while Kase, Scott and Will were in the kitchen getting out the alcohol and laughing.

I could feel his bad mood levitating off of him and hitting into me.

“What’s up?” I asked, he shrugged so I left him to sit there and mope, hanging out with Scott and Will was more fun then prodding Adam about his problems…It wasn’t till later he’d tell me anyways, sitting in the chair by the patio doors as Scott was laying out spare blankets to sleep on, Kase and William had already gone to bed, laughing and in love, their fights fading fast these days.

“So, who’s Nick?” I looked up from my hermit crab cage, Kissaka and Cagalli had died a few days ago.

No reason, just because.

I didn’t cry though, and I wasn’t heart broken…but Kase went out and got me new ones anyways, because she liked them too. I’d named then Maggie, after the Hermit Crab in the book Island Eyes that I loved when I was 11, Depp, for Johnny Depp, Skeleton was all white and pale, and Baby, the smallest in a purple shell, Rye said “Just like Opal” and I loved her more than ever for remembering my first baby pet I had loved so much.

“Uhm…I don’t know a Nick.” Unless it was Kases’ Nick, Then I did know a one, he was loud, obnoxious and always saying he was going to date me when I got to be 18…I hope he’d hold his breath waiting, that way he’d suffocate. I resented the fact that we both liked James Dean…James Dean was only for cool people.

“Oh…” Adam looked in deep thought, “Albert then! You know an Albert.”

“Antony?”

“Yes! Him!”

I cracked up, “’Albert’! I do NOT know an Albert!”

I laughed to myself a moment…till I looked back up at Adam, his eyes dark. We both looked at eachother for a second…how did he know about Antony? He got up from his chair and crossed the living room

“Yeah, well, he still likes you.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” I looked down at my hermit crabs. I didn’t care either way, Antony had been my friend for about a year now, he liked me, I liked him, but it wasn’t anything anymore. At least not to me, to him it was huge and important. But he lived in England for chrissakes! I hadn’t heard from him in months now, and I’d been too busy to think much about it. Truly must’ve told Adam to relay it to me…Fuck!

Truly is my sister, she’s 18 and she just got kicked out and moved back south for sneaking out of the house with and dating an atheist. I hadn’t talked to her in over three weeks, and besides that ‘geeky’ bestfriend of mine, she was closest to me…My parents had sent her to stay with Kase a few months ago, to get her away from her new boyfriend for awhile.

Maybe Kase is just the answer to things…to life.
Have a problem? Kase will help you solve it! It was Super Sister to the Rescue or something.
All I know is I left and Truly snuck out, stayed out all day and all night and when she got back home my dad had a plane ticket for her and said “Pack up, you’re leaving.”

It was cruel, and I’d only heard about it through Adam, but it didn’t make me eager to get back home.

To go back to distant parents, little siblings and no Truly, in a stupid ass little town I hated, away from everything. I wanted to cry just thinking about it. I wanted to talk to Truly too,,.to tell her Adam’s acting weird and I’m lost with what to do and just have her love me a little longer. Not Andy, her dorky atheist, but me. Everything is so complicated….

“It’s okay, he can have you.” Adam muttered as he walked past me, I knew Scott heard…

I shook my head, almost disbelieving “You’re such a baby, what the fuck?”

I swore precious little in my life before now, but Adam and Kase swore a lot, so it was rubbing off. I’d never heard such a vivid combination's of Fuck, Shit, Ass, Bitch, and Bastard before. Kase was hilarious about it, but we were never allowed to say MF in her presence or in her house. Which sucked because there were some good combination's to be made with the word MotherFucker.

“Yeah what the fuck?!” he looked at me accusingly and sank down to sit on the stairs outside the kitchen doorway. “Just slip your mind you had a boyfriend huh?”

I guess that’s when I realized, just then, that Adam liked me, but I hated him for it, and for talking like this where Scott could hear. I was really embarrassed and maybe even angry. He knew it too; he mouthed the word “Bitch” before jumping up and disappearing into his room.

A small part of me didn’t care if that hurt him, it wasn’t true anyways, I told myself I didn’t care if he went up to his room and cried and never came back out.
But I did care, I don’t even know why, but I did.