Keep Your Head Up

It started like a muffled high pitched sound and became louder as I heard other things move. I felt disoriented and my head was heavy, I tried to roll out of bed with my still half closen eyes. I reached my hand to my right side and no one was there. I always thought that when I first slept with a boy he’d be there the next morning just to break out the cliché of empty sides of beds in the movies.

The bedroom’s door was open, and I walked down the hallway, scratching my eyes and try to become aware of my surroundings.

At the left side of the hallway, the guest room’s door was open, I barged in and I see both John and Kennedy around something while kneeling on the floor, and Lisa in the top of the bed.

“Guys, what’s going on?” I asked. They turned to me and Lisa jumped towards me.

“Here” John said, pointing at the floor.

“Is that a mouse?”

“Yeah. It’s dead. Lisa killed it.”

“What?” I asked her, while she bite her nails.

“I didn’t mean to kill it, I thought I was scaring him away.” She shrugged and looked away from the dead creature.

“Someone has got to clean that.” I say as Kennedy moves away towards me and Lisa.

“I’ll do it” John volunteers putting his hands on his hips and staring at the animal.

“I hope there isn’t more of it, I can’t afford disinfestations.” I stated, sitting in bed.

John sits next to me, Kennedy and Lisa leave the room, like they were leaving us alone together.
“If there’s more we will know about it, don’t worry.”

He grabs me by the wrist and holds my hand. I was still looking at the door, I didn’t move. He got closer and takes some of my hair out of my neck and collarbones. I could feel his breath.

“What are you doing?” I asked, as he started to kiss my neck down to the collarbones.

“Nothing.” He answered.

“John..” He kept kissing, until he stopped and kissed me on the lips.

“Good morning.” John said and smiled.

When we went downstairs, Lisa and Kennedy had already made us breakfast.

“The lovebirds took long enough to come down uh” Kennedy said, his green eyes scanned us like cameras and when he stopped we were already sitting by the counter.

“Pancakes?” Asks Lisa with a plate filled with golden pancakes that smelled like the breath of the Gods.

“Yes please” I replied. I was a little surprised to see Lisa cooking she usually prefered someone eles cooked for her.

“So…” Kennedy started, in this tone that is very his. “What are we going to do today?”

“What about some sunbathing?” Lisa suggested.

“Works for me” John stated, taking large bites of his golden pancakes.

As time went by I found myself laying on the grass in front of the lake. I was wearing a pink bathing suit I had gotten myself at the beginning of summer. Lisa was in hers as well, a dark navy blue one. John and Kennedy were throwing rocks at the lake, wearing nothing but swimming shorts, both patterned with the same colors of red and white.

Lisa applied some sunscreen and kept complaining about bugs.

I was feeling a bit hazy and nostalgic. The day looked beautiful and I was feeling out of it. I had John and my best friend. I even had Kennedy. But I was missing something. I knew what it was. Who it was.

“I’m gonna go inside and grab something to drink.” I stated getting up from the grass.

I made my way to the back door, as I walked I heard a boat going by, loud noises and noticed the youngsters in it. They waved at John and Kennedy and they waved back.

I drank some cold water from the fridge. I poured a bit on my hand and washed my face with it.

The temperature was ridiculously high and the sun was at it’s highest point in the sky, I’ve always heard we shouldn’t sunbathe at this time, but there was nothing better to do and there was plenty of shadow spaces to hide under.

When I was getting back I stumbled upon John.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He looked at me somehow worried and relaxed at the same time.

“Yeah” I murmured.

“I came to get some water, apparently Kennedy can’t drink the lake.” He spoke as he smiled.

I laughed for his happiness and for a moment the haziness was gone.

Lisa and Kennedy were in the water playing like children. She would often scream and slap Kennedy, which made him duck into the water.

John took my hand as we walked down the grass. It took me by surprise and I didn’t want to let it go, but as soon as he started to make his way around my fingers, I let go. I regretted it. It felt wrong to reach for it again. If he noticed he didn’t said anything.

Kenny swam in our direction and asked for the water bottle, and so did Lisa.

“The water’s great, come on in Bree!” Lisa shouted from behind Kennedy.

“Okay, but just for a bit.”

I took my slippers off and got closer to the water. Taking a deep breath, I dived in. Feeling the cold water tracing and refreshing my hot body, I emerged. I let in another breath, and start swimming away. I used to do this with my dad, I’d swim away until he got mad and told me to stop or he would come after me and tickle me, which sounded like a challenge.

My body felt numb in the water. I wanted to swim away but my own arms and legs would stop me from doing it.

I felt a hand on the back of my thigh, grabbing it and touching up to my back.

It was John. The water fell down his head as he took a sniff of air and water would go up his nostrils instead, making him clear them with his hand under water.

“You’re a good swimmer” He said.

“I’m not” I said genuinely believing myself. John made a face and I wasn’t sure what it meant.

“YOU ARE A GOOD SWIMMER!” He insisted. “Just take the compliment and thank me, don’t demean yourself Bree. I can see you’re a good swimmer and I’m gonna tell you that you are, despite you’re poor opinion of yourself.” He let it out like he rehearsed it.

“I was not expecting that. Did you just told me what to do O’Callaghan? Can’t I disagree with you?” I asked in a jokingly tone of voice, making him slightly laugh and swim closer to me.

“You can’t disagree with me when I know you’re wrong Phillips, now shut up and kiss me.”

“I’ll certainly will.” And I did. He pushed me down the water and it was my first kiss ever under water. Under the water of my favorite place on earth.

The hours went by and it was sunset. Lisa and Kennedy had once again taken over the kitchen and cooked dinner. They moved together like they were synchronized machines. It was beautiful to watch.

Me and John were sitting in the living room’s couch, ducked into each others arms, killing all the clichés and movie like scenarios of boys and girls curled up in couches watching old movies by watching a documentary about frogs and eating Doritos out of a plastic bag because John had this theory the bags where they come packed would make them lose all the flavor and crunchiness. I told him that happened more often with cereal and he agreed licking the Doritos stains off of my fingers.

“What do you think they’re cooking?” I asked John quietly. He raised his head looking over at the synchronized cookers and murmured “Pasta, they’re making pasta.”

I raised my head copying John’s movements.

“Yeah they are” I confirmed as I see Lisa pouring the spaghetti on a strainer while Kennedy was mixing ketchup with liquid butter.

“Kennedy learned out to cook in a summer camp a few years ago, ever since he calls himself a chef.” John said, attentive to the television.

“That’s fantastic because Lisa loves to eat.” I murmured almost to myself.

The pink sky streamed through the front windows making the room in a shade of light brown. The smell of home cooked meal made the vibe in the room taste like the early 2000s when I was just a curious child with a unconventional love for sitting in lousy couches and watch interesting tv.

John caught me in the middle of thoughts, sliding his hand through my still wet hair. I kissed him slightly on the lips, making him continue the hand movement. I was becoming quite a good kisser and kissing him was beyond amazing. He had soft lips, just like the rest of the skin on his body, except for his hands that could be quite rugged, but I still loved them.

I saw myself getting up as Lisa called in for dinner. John slowly letting go of me, turning off the tv and getting up. He followed me through the room and sat on the table beside me.

Kennedy proudly would start pouring the food on our plates. Lisa looked even prouder. The way she looked at Kennedy was the same way he looked at her, and the way John would often look at me.
John’s looks were mostly vacant but with a strong feeling of affection and some sort of dazzling. That made me feel embarrassed and great. Knowing that he cared for me and liked me in that way.

We started eating, and John and I held hands beneath the dining table, not breaking the clichés this time.