Keep Your Head Up

I spend the rest of the night casually glancing at the O’Callaghans, as though it was my job. I discovered one or two new things about them, for instance John’s room was exactly at the same level as mine and I could see it through my window. Feeling a little stalkerish I tried to forget about it. Also, John had an aquarium inside his bedroom, that glowed in the dark, I felt jealous because I wanted an aquarium since I was a little girl but my parents just slipped away from getting one.

Sadly I fell asleep facing John’s window, like he was calling me from the inside of his house, telling me to go over there, to meet me up closer.

When I woke up I heard a familiar voice coming from downstairs.

Lisa. I thought to myself while pushing away the blankets that kept me warm throughout the night.

“Knock Knock” The brunette said invading my room.
“Morning”
“You look like you were just asleep” She sat at the bottom of my single sized bed.
“Haha” I threw her my best sarcastic face.
“Get ready, your mom made lasagna and baked a cake for the O’Callaghans”
“Really? This early?” I asked looking through my window.
“It’s almost 12 and aren’t you excited to go over there and meet them?”
“I already met that perfectly tanned boy” Lisa’s pupils dilated and she grabbed my left arm, squeezing it almost too hard.
“Tell me about it!” Excitement filled her up.
“We had the most interesting conversation last night on my backyard” I paused to put my slippers on “He introduced himself and I made Harry Potter references and I am way too weird to face him again”
“Don’t say you are weird Bree, come on, what else happened?”
“Not much, I’m going to shower now babe”
“But but, tell me”
“Go away” I ran to the bathroom, Lisa following me and stopping at the bathroom’s door.
“I hate you” She made a grumpy look and crossed her arms “Don’t call me babe no more bitch”

I laughed out loud making her laugh too, we usually called ourselves terrible names or the cutest we could find, it was fun really.

After showering I changed into a grey tee, a dark colored hoodie and blue jeans. I decided to dry my hair and put an hair band on it. It featured a white daisy on the left side, it was my favorite hair band, comfortably happy to wear it on such a beautiful Sunday.

Lisa wandered around the kitchen, eating and talking to my little brother that was on the kitchen counter making cupcakes with my mother.

“Your cupcake looks like a moose” Mikey said pointing at Lisa’s poorly made cupcake.
“You’re jealous aren’t you little man?” She teased.
“Finally Bree, grab an apple and let’s go to the O’Callaghans” My mother said while she untied her apron.
“Good morning to you too mom” She rolled her eyes and told Lisa to pick up a Tupperware.

I grabbed an apple as my mother said, and a few other plates with food on it, that by the smell it was lasagna. I usually wondered why Italian food was such a trend in my household, I never made questions about it, maybe my mother dated an Italian cook or something.

I tried to focus my thoughts on what was going to happen, who was I going to meet, and who was I going to meet again.

I played in my head what to say to him on the 60 seconds that took us to leave my house to theirs.

Hey John it’s Breana remember me last night? I fell asleep looking through your window.

My mother rang on their door bell, waiting for an answer, Lisa giggled with my brother and I just stood on the back, eating furiously my apple and throwing looks at their front porch.

The door opened and a blonde headed woman appeared. Green eyes, pretty face, lovely figure.

It’s his mother. I thought.

“Hi, can I help you?” She said looking rather surprised at us all.

And that’s when I realized that we looked sort of pathetic, probably this never happened on their old neighborhood. I rapidly imagined different scenarios on which John’s mother would kick us out of there or just freak out with the entire situation.

“My name is Anne Phillips, and this is my son Mikey, and my daughter Breana” She briefly pointed at me” and this is Lisa Quentin, a friend of the family.” She paused, so that we could all say hello or wave “We live next door, we just wanted to bring you some food and welcome you to the neighborhood.”
“That is so lovely and kind! Thank you so much! I’m Jennifer O’Callaghan, Jenny for everyone” She lead us through the door and hall.
“Come in everyone! This is so sweet!” She continued to show amusement, and that sort of soothe me down.
“Let’s put this on the kitchen! John come over here!” She shouted, I put my plate down on the table, Jenny happily unwrapped the warm food.
“Oh, what do we have here?” A rather tall gentlemen with a grey moustache and clear blue eyes showed up from the backdoor that lead to the backyard.
“John, look our lovely neighbors gave us some food as a welcoming gift, isn’t it great?”
“Oh yes, I’m going to call the boys”

My mother and Jenny kept unwrapping food, and immediately Jenny invited us to have lunch with them, since they were still settling in, they were going to order pizza, and now they had a “bunch of good looking food”.

I was a little surprised that John was named after his father, that was really lovely, my brother had my father’s name as his middle name, I fairly remember that my dad specifically wanted my brother not to be named after him, because it wasn’t fair to me, I wasn’t named after anyone, and I could feel jealousy of some sort. That was one of the most honorable things my father had made for me.
John and his brother appeared from a staircase behind the kitchen’s door. John carried Shane on his back, both laughed enthusiastically, John carefully put his little brother on the floor, his eyes scanning the room, and stopping on my direction.

“Boys, the neighbors came to give us a welcoming present, and with that I mean delicious food”
Jenny O’Callaghan said, speaking mostly with her hands.

The following minutes were filled with introductions and conversations about houses, neighborhoods and towns.

I would often caught Lisa purely staring at John, who sat in front of us. I had to gently kick her under the table, not because it upset me, but also because she was making it so obvious that I noticed John’s father had seen it too.

Lunch was over, and when everyone was about to leave, Mikey asked our mom if he could stay and play a card game with Shane, both boys were orbiting around my mother making puppy eyes and begging to play the game.

“Alright” she said running her hand through Mikey’s bright blonde hair.

Lisa pinched my arm and told me she had to go home because her sister was home for the weekend. Alicia Quentin was Lisa’s 24 year-old sister, who was a 1st grade teacher in Phoenix, she’d come home at every chance she had, like Lisa, she was a mommy’s girl and couldn’t stay away for too long.

My mother and Jenny kept on speaking about something I wasn’t really paying attention to, I was facing their front porch and waiting for my mother do come home with me, John wandered around the porch with his hand in his pockets and humming a melody I didn’t recognized.

“Hey Breana?” He shouted “Can I ask you a favor?”

I uncrossed my arms and walked towards him, as he did the same.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I have this thing I want to do to my new bedroom, but I would need help and a different opinion” He smirked and then continued “My parents don’t actually agree with me, but they’re letting me do it, and Shane is playing with your brother and I don’t want to bother him, so if you’re no busy can you help me?”
“I’d be more helpful if you explained to me what do you want help with” I said, as he scratched the tip of his skinny nose.
“I need help painting my walls. But, I designed something to paint there.”
“Is it so bad that your parents disagreed?” I asked trying not to sound too invading.
“It’s just a skull”
“A skull?”
“Morbid, I know” He laughed and crossed his arms “But will you help me?”
“Alright alright John O’Callaghan, don’t be so pushy” I joked.
“I’m sorry Breana Phillips, and I’m thankful to work with you”
“You better be”

Laughing through his porch we informed our mothers about what we we’re going to do, my mother rapidly told me to behave, and possibly even winked at me. It disturbed me for a few moments, what was that supposed to mean? I decided not to give it a lot of thought, I was about to enter a boy’s room, and I only knew him for 24 hours. This was the most promiscuous I could get.

“This is it” We entered his room, and I could see the aquarium that I spotted the night before.
“This is the skull I want to paint” He showed a poster with a skull on it. It had drawings of butterflies and flowers, and all together made the skull. I watched it more carefully as I got closer, and some of the butterflies and flowers were just simply silhouettes, like they were just molds, on which we could paint, and their shapes would get painted on the wall.
“What help do you need?” I asked looking over at him, noticing how close I got and slowly step away from him.
“Just hold it against the wall, and I’ll spray it” He scuffed.
“Okay”

I hold it where he told me too, and he started spraying it with black ink. Slowly and almost as he was being paid to do it.

His eyes scanned the poster, and focused on all shapes, and sprayed them. He had to tell me to move my hand and I accidentally made the poster drop, he made a disapproving look, and I tried not to look as embarrassed as I really was.

“Sorry” I finally said, taking in the guilt of having to relocate it and possibly make it look sloppy.
“It’s fine Breana Phillips, not all of us are professionals” He jokingly said smirking at me.
“Well, I tried” I excused myself, as he finished spraying over the poster, and glanced over at me, with his mysterious green eyes. Suddenly I felt a liquid on my hand, and it was spray ink.
“I’m so sorry” He gasped.
“It’s okay John” I said, while he searched around the room for something.
“It comes out with water, don’t worry”
“I’m looking for a towel or something for you to clean your hand with” The can on spray ink rolled from his hands, and the poster was put on the floor by the awkwardly tall and skinny boy.
“The bathroom is down the hall, try to take if off there”
I made my way to the hall, but there was two ways to it, so I decided to call John for help.
“I’ll take you there Breana Phillips” His hands slowly touched my back, he ran in front of me.
“Thank you John O’Callaghan” I said, walking behind him.
“It’s getting off, see?” “I showed him my hands, filled with black liquid.
“If it doesn’t, I’ll search for bleach of something”
“No, it’s fine.”

My eyes scanned his body beside me, possibly the most beautiful boy I’d ever met, he gave me a look back.

“Your eyes are really beautiful” I gasped, while cleaning my hands on a towel.
“Thank you, so are yours”
I smiled and rapidly went back to the room, I wanted to check on the skull, John followed me.
“It looks awesome” I stated.
“It does, thank you for helping”
I nodded, and made my way to the aquarium.
“Do you named them all?” I asked curious about the multiple colored fish in the tank in front of me.
“Honestly no, but Shane has a different name for a different fish everyday”
“Did you had them in Tempe?”
“Yes” He benched his back to see the fish with me.
“Hello there” I said to a blue one, who was swimming close to the glass.
“Can I ask you something Breana?” He asked, head turned to me.
“Sure” I answered, while poking the glass because the blue fish was trying to swim away.
“Where is your dad?”

The question was unexpected. I was hoping he was going to ask me anything except that. I wasn’t particularly mad or anything, I wasn’t just waiting for it. My facial expression changed, and so did John, in that moment he noticed he touched the weak spot, he possibly regretted it.

“I’m sorry, it’s not my business, you don’t need to answer” He suggested, shame and regret filling him in.

For a moment, I was going to ask to leave, but then I decided to answer.

“My father died two years ago, in a car crash”
“I’m so sorry Breana, I really should’ve not asked” He got closer to me, and I almost thought he was going to hold me or something.
“Don’t be sorry John, you didn’t know.” I clarified him.
He end up sitting on the bed, and I continued to watch the fish.
“I can see your room from here you know” He said.
“I can see your room too, you know”
“We can see each other anytime then”
I turned to him, placing my hands on my hoodie’s pockets.
“Anytime” I repeated.

I decided to go home, it was a Sunday after all, I had some homework to do, and that reminded me of asking John if he went to high school.

“Do you go to High School?”
“Yes. No, I mean, I graduated earlier. My school is back in Tempe, and we had to move, and graduation is a week or two away, and I needed the time to move.” He said as fast as an arrow. Obviously the subject made him uncomfortable, by the way he was acting. Eyes twitching, hands shaking.

“Are you going to college?” I wanted to just go home, but curiosity hit me.
“Yes, in Phoenix, I’m thinking in majoring in creative writing.” He said, and this time looked more calm about it.
“What about you?” He asked.
“Children care.” He nodded, and kept walking towards the front door. “I mean, major in something that allows me to take care of children, and help them in anything.”
John was taking in my words, and probably assimilating my life to my career choice. He wasn’t wrong if he did. I wanted to help children to deal with traumas, fears, and specially losing a parent. My brother had an escape on his books, and dealt well with it, specially because he had me and mom around. But what if he didn’t dealt with it, and just collapsed, like I almost did.
I put my thoughts away, and focused on saying goodbye to John.
“I’ll see you around?”
“Anytime” I said.
“Anytime then” He said, a smirk forming on his mouth.

I went home, straight to my bedroom, hoping to see him on his bedroom. As I hoped, there he was. Wandering around, cleaning and searching for things. Out of nowhere, he stopped, right in front of the window, with his back turned to my direction. He slowly takes his shirt off, I automatically looked away, I was not going to see a naked boy from my window. It wasn’t ethically correct, I was being a slight more of a pervert. But, it wasn’t a stranger, it was John O’Callaghan, and I knew him.

My eyes slowly went back to where they were, John now, was shirtless and picking up other pieces of clothing. He stopped once again, and started to unbutton his jeans. I was about to look away, when someone knocked on my door. I immediately closed the curtains and sat on the bed, spreading books across it, to make it look like I was studying.

“Bree? Can I come in?” My mother said, slowly opening the door already.
“Yes mom”
“Did your brother stayed at the O’Callaghans?” And then I remembered Mikey was still there, and I could’ve brought him home.
“Oh, I think so” I answered. My mother sat carefully on the bottom of my bed.
“Bree, do you like the new neighbors?”
“Yes, they look decent and nice”
“What about John?”
“He is a great man, and looked a great father and husband” I replied, completely aware she was not talking about Mr. O’Callaghan.
“Yes, but what about the other John, the fifth?”
“The fifth?” That took me by surprise.
“Yes, his mother told us, when we were about to leave. Don’t you remember?”
“No.”
“It’s a family thing, you know like a royalty title or something like that? But tell me, is he a nice boy?”
“Yes mom, I guess”
“You guess?” She gasped.
“He’s fine mom, don’t worry he won’t hurt me”
“Good” She stated.
“Good” I repeated.
“I’m gonna get your brother now”
“Sure”

I laid back in my bed, slowly twisting my head towards John’s window. He wasn’t there anymore. Something inside me wanted to see him, naked or not, I wanted to see him. All I saw was the bright aquarium, and a big black skull, looking back at me as though I was doing something wrong.