Seize The Day Even Though You're 2000 Lightyears Away

“Alright I think you’ve had enough Trev.” The bartender said to me. I looked to him with my bloodshot eyes and just stared him down, setting the empty shot glass on the bar.

“I’ll have enough when I think I have…now get me another drink before I get it myself.” I said coldly as he reached behind the counter for another round. As I waited I heard the news come over the TV.

It’s a sad day in Oakland today as one of it’s residents has died. Green Day front man and father Billie Joe Armstrong has passed in a fatal car accident last week. Armstrong was finishing paper work for his music label Adeline Records when his car was struck by a drunk driver as he was pulling out of the parking lot.
The funeral was held at Lakewood cemetery not but a few miles away from Armstrong’s home located here in Oakland itself. Armstrong leaves behind 2 sons, a daughter, and thousands of fans and friends. He will be greatly missed.”

I threw back another shot and angrily set the glass back onto the counter, trying my hardest to drown out the television. My father’s death had been all over the news for the past couple of days and I was having a hard time to keep my tears down each time something about him would come on. The funeral was hard enough and I hated having to hear about it from all the people that saw me walking down the streets. I appreciated that they loved my dad but right now it was just too hard to talk about it. I simply wasn’t strong enough.

“You want me to call someone for you Trev? I have to close soon.” The bartender softly said to me.

I set the glass down, wiping the back of my hand across my lips as I stood up from the bar. “Just call me a cab I guess…everyone I know is probably asleep.”

He nodded before turning on his heel to walk towards the phone. I silently thanked him and grabbed my purse from the counter, pulling my hood up over my head and heading out the door into the warm Californian night air.

I could already feel the effects of the alcohol as I slightly stumbled to the curb, sitting down and resting my head on my knees as I waited for my cab. I didn’t have to wait for very long as I heard a car pull up beside me, signaling to me that it was time to go home.

Being slightly buzzed I nearly stumbled back over as I tried to stand back up, a head rush flooding my brain as I walked towards the cab.

About 15 minutes later the car pulled up into my driveway and I paid the cabbie before I dizzily walked towards my front door. I made an attempt to turn the handle but quickly realized that it was locked since it wouldn’t budge. Being too drunk to care or just simply not wanting to stand back up I slumped down to the floor and just leaned against the door, my eyes closing as I rested my head against the hardened oak.

As I sat there I thought about the past couple of days and what a nightmare that everything has been lately. My hero, my father and one of my best friends had died, leaving me an orphan as my mother had died of leukemia about 5 years ago. That’s when things started to become really bad. Dad wasn’t the same after mom left. His Adie, partner in crime and wife and mother left us when it definitely wasn’t her time. She took a part of him with her, a piece of all of us so the shock of my dad passing now was the final step to numb me and my emotions. Sure I had my brothers, Stella, Ramona, Frank, Mike and Tre’ with me to help me through this but I had that label set on me now. The orphan. The Loner. The girl who people were going to feel sorry for now. I didn’t really want anyone’s pity to tell you the truth. All I wanted was to be left alone and over the past few days no one has done that.

As I sat there and drowned myself in my pity I suddenly felt myself falling back as the front door opened and I landed on my back with a small groan.

“Trev?” Came a familiar voice I knew to be claimed by my best friend Stella. “Treva what the hell are you doing sitting out here at 2:30 in the godamn morning? You know how worried I’ve been about you? Where the hell did you go?”

Her questions seemed to pass through my brain about as quickly as they entered and all I could mutter was a small “Huh?”

She shook her head at me as she leaned down to hook her arms under mine to help me up to my feet. “Jesus Christ Trev you reek of alcohol. Did you go to the bar again?” she asked me as she wrapped one of my arms over her shoulders, guiding me up the stairs to my room.

I put my hand on the rail to try and help her with my weight as a small hiccup echoed from my lips. “I had to get out of the house…”

About a minute later we entered my room and she gently laid me down onto my bed. “Well then you should have told me. I would have come with you, you know.”

I closed my eyes as my head hit the pillow, not wanting to talk about this anymore. “I k-know…sorry.”

She let out a sigh as I felt her remove my shoes, leaving me in my clothes before she pulled the thick red comforter over my body. “Well try and get some sleep Trev…you’ll have one hell of a hangover in the morning.”

I groaned lightly just at the thought of the killer headache I would have and turned onto my side, only to re-encounter myself with the nightmares that filled my dreams.

******

I woke up the next morning with just as Stella had said, a killer hangover. My wavy auburn hair was clinging to my face and my eyeliner that I had been wearing from last night was running down my cheeks since I hadn’t washed it off before I fell asleep.

I turned over onto my side and checked the clock to see what time it was. 1:45 p.m. glared back to me in neon green lights and I let out a groan as I laid my head back onto my pillow. I saw that Stella had left 2 Tylenol and a glass of water on the table next to my bed, a note under the glass.

I reached over and took the glass of water in my hands so that I could take the paper, a small note with Stella’s handwriting written across it. Popping the pills into my mouth and swallowing them with some of the water my eyes scanned over her message.

Good morning Sunshine,
Hopefully these will make you feel a little better. I’ll be downstairs in the kitchen. We need to talk.
-Stell

Well that was to be expected… I thought to myself as I set the paper back onto the table, the glass on top of it. Stella was Mike’s daughter and my best friend. She was only a year older than me making her 23 and me 22. I had known her my entire life since as our dad’s were best friends it was only natural that we would practically be sisters.

I pulled the blankets from me and gently slid myself from the bed, not trying to rush myself as that would only make my hangover worse. I ran my hands through my tangled hair and threw it up into a messy bun, deciding that I would take a shower later. I also noticed that I was still in the same clothes that I had been wearing from last night. I almost threw up at how much they smelled of alcohol.

I stripped them from myself and put on a fresh t-shirt and pajama shorts. No need to get dressed yet if I was just going to take a shower in a little while.

I headed downstairs and noticed the smell of eggs and sausage cooking in the kitchen; Stella had always been a great cook.

“Well good morning sunshine.” she chuckled as I came around the corner. “How’s your headache this morning?”

I groaned as I sat down at the table, resting my head on my arm as I pulled my legs up underneath me. “How do you think?”

“Well I hope you learned your lesson then.” She scolded as she sat down her spatula. “You know how worried I was about you last night? I thought that you had gotten into an accident or something and thankfully I was relieved that it was you at the door and not some officer coming to tell me that you were killed.”

“Well I’m not dead alright?…not that I don’t feel like it though.” I groaned, her words being not only loud but were making me feel worse about myself. “I’m sorry.”

She put her hand on my back to lightly soothe me as she sighed. “It’s alright Trev…we’re all hurting right now but you need to know you can’t make all this go away with drowning yourself in alcohol…your dad wouldn’t want you to do that.”

I let out a small sigh myself, burying my face in the crook of my arm as I tried not to cry just by the mention of him. “Even though he did the same thing Stell?…it’s what he did when mom died…”

“Your father was a good guy Trev…he loved you very much. He may have started to drink after aunt Adie but you know he hated himself for it. He wouldn’t want you to follow in his footsteps…especially over him.”

Stella always knew what to say in these kinds of situations, the words that could make you feel better and feel like dying all at the same time. “I just miss him Stell…” I whispered, getting closer to the brink of tears. “I’m all alone now.”

She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug as I was pulled closer to her. “You’re not alone honey. You know you have the rest of us to talk to. Your brothers, Ramona and Uncle Mike and Tre’. We all love you and that’s the last thing that we want you to feel. This loss will just make us stronger as a family.”

I cried into her shoulder as her words flowed into my ears, the sensation of wanting to break down again as I sat in her arms. “I know…but that sill doesn’t make the hurt go away…I just don’t know how to stop it.”

“Just be with us sweetheart,” she soothed, making me notice that she was crying a little herself. “Just be with us and don’t give up.”