Listen to Your Heart

The next morning I woke to the smell of cooking bacon. Cat had woken up before the rest of us and had decided to make us all breakfast. Luckily John had gone shopping a few days ago which meant there was actually food in the house. The party had ended at about three in the morning, with the last people finally filing out. The only people left were Cat, Shane and I. Garrett had taken Fran and Clare home at Clare's mom’s request.

"Are you okay?" John asked as he planted a light kiss on my shoulder sending butterflies straight to my stomach. I was sure I could never get used to this.

"Yeah, fine. Feel a bit groggy, but I'm good. I see you and Cat are getting along?" I smiled. They'd spent a good part of last night talking about English Literature. He was a Literature teacher, and it was what he studied at Uni and it was what she wanted to study. I was just happy to see them getting along. I knew they'd have plenty in common, but after he found out she knew I was just worried he wasn't going to give her a chance, but when we came back downstairs he was speaking to her as if nothing had ever happened.

"She's really something." He smirked, pulling me closer. "What are you doing today?" He asked as he sat up behind me on the sofa.

"I think Fran wanted us to meet her at the mall." She had work but she finished at two. It was nearing midday now which meant we only had two hours to get back to mine and get ready. Plenty of time for me, but Cat took forever to get ready in the morning. "What about you?"

"I have to mark the coursework, and I promised Garrett I'd meet him later for a few drinks. He's got that job interview tomorrow so I promised him I'd go through it all with him. Make sure he knows what he's doing. I should be done by about four though." I sighed. Garrett was going to get the job I didn't doubt it. He was going for a position at a local record company, and he had more experience and more passion for music than anyone I knew. They would be fools not to hire him.

"Wish him luck for me." I smiled, placing a kiss on his lips before getting up to go and see Cat in the kitchen. She'd nearly finished with the bacon. It was beginning to look brown and crispy, just how I liked it.

"Hey," I chirped as I walked in the room, I wasn't feeling as bad as I thought I would. I hadn't drunk as much as I normally would, for some reason I just wasn't in the mood last night. Especially not with Kennedy around. I wasn't the best at keeping secrets when I was drunk. "How are you this morning?" I asked, taking a seat at the breakfast bar.

"I'm fine. I hope you all like bacon! Oh, do you think John minds that I cooked?" She asked, suddenly looking nervous and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Of course he doesn't! Are you stupid? He loves bacon, and so long as it means he doesn't have to cook..." I laughed as I helped her clear away the mess.

"I didn't even think." She sighed.

I pulled her into a hug. "You are so silly sometimes, you know that right?" I laughed as I let go.

"I know!" She laughed as she pulled the last of the bacon out of the pan. "I didn't know how anyone liked their bacon so I did it crispy because that's how I like it."

"Same, and if the other two care then screw them. More bacon for us!" I joked as I grabbed two plates and took them through to the boys. I'd never seen two people look more excited over food.

We ate with the boys, before clearing up and going back to mine to get ready to meet Fran.

"I liked this morning." I sighed. "It was nice to just be able to be with John, without worrying about people seeing."

"I really like him. He's really something special." She smiled softly at me, there was something she wasn't saying though, and as much as I wanted to ask her what it was, I couldn't bring myself to do it. If it was important she would tell me, if not then I didn't want to know. I liked living in ignorance. Maybe a little too much.

When two o'clock rolled around we were already sat in the food court waiting for Fran to show up. I'd got a text from Clare this morning letting me know she was having a fmaily day and wouldn't be able to make it. In some ways I was glad, it would force Cat and Fran to talk to each other, and I wanted them to get along, but at the same time if they didn't get along I didn't want to force them to spend time together and I didn't want Fran to feel like I was choosing Cat over her, because I wasn't. Truth be told the choice between the two should be an easy one. Fran had been my best friend for longer than I could remember, she was like a sister to me and she had always been there for me when I needed her. Cat however, was different. I'd not even known her a year, but she was there for me at a time when I thought no one was, at a time where I thought I was alone in this world. I thought no one could pull me out of the slump I was in, but she did. She made sure I got the help I needed and she was there for me throughout all of it. She listened to me when no one else would, and she never judged me. I knew Fran never meant to, and I knew she loved me, but sometimes I couldn't help but feel judged by her at the same time. I knew if I told her about John she'd make me break it off with him, regardless of how I felt. She'd tell me what I was doing was wrong and nothing could convince her otherwise. Cat would never do that to me. If she thought it was wrong she'd tell me, sure, but she'd also be there to support whatever decision I made. Something I wasn't sure Fran would do. I didn't judge her for it, but it made deciding between the two hard. I needed them both for different reasons.

"Hey!" Fran huffed as she flopped in the seat next to me. "I hate people." She grumbled, grabbing a handful of my fries.

"You say that all the time, you don't though." I laughed. She worked in a little shop in the mall, one of those boutique type things. You know the people who go in there? They all think they're better than everyone else, mostly older ladies.

"They just treat me like I'm an idiot." She sighed, sitting up.

"So what is on the agenda for today?" Cat asked, looking up from the book she'd bought while we were waiting. It was a copy of Lolita. I'd yet to read it, but her and John had been discussing it last night, and honestly, I wasn't sure I liked the sound of it.

"I'm up for anything." I thought for a moment, but came up short. I had no idea what we could do. The weather was too hot to go outside and there really wasn't much to do inside.

"Shall we just look around the mall for a bit until we think of something else to do?" I suggested. It was a lame idea, but it was Tempe, and there wasn't really all that much to do.

I stood up and began to walk in the direction of Barns & Noble and the small CD store that was next to it. "I need to get a few books, but other than that we can do what you like." I couldn't think of what else to say or do. Things seemed incredibly awkward, and I should have known they would be. Cat and Fran were almost complete opposites of each other, and coupled with that I couldn't imagine being in Fran's position. If I thought she had gone to a foreign country and replaced me and then tried to introduce to me to that person, well I wouldn't be as nice as Fran. I mean, I'd reacted badly enough when I thought that she and Kennedy had gotten closer in my absence.

"So did you guys have a good time after we left?" Fran asked Cat. She was trying to be nice and it made me happy.

"Yeah, it was really nice. John's a really great guy, anyone would be lucky to have him." I couldn't help but wince. I knew Cat thought she was being subtle, and to anyone else she might have been, but Fran had been suspecting something for weeks.

"They certainly would..." Fran mused. "Maria, mind if we have a word. It'll just be a second, I promise." I gulped. Why?

"Sure." I squeaked, following her to a quiet corner of the book store, leaving Cat to search the isles alone.

"Are you and John seeing each other?" She finally asked, looking me in the eye. I tried to avert my gaze, but she wouldn't let me. "Seriously? Maria! Are you stupid?" She snapped.

"I never said there was!" I bit back, angry at her for just assuming.

"You didn't need to. I should have trusted my gut!" She growled, clearly angry with herself, which only fuelled my anger towards her.

"It's none of your business anyway! What happens in my love life has nothing to do with you! Do you think I don't know you've been seeing Kennedy behind my back?" I growled.

"Kennedy isn't my teacher!" She exclaimed. I hadn't been sure about her and Kennedy until then. I'd said it out of anger, not because I really thought there was any truth behind it, but now I knew and I couldn't help the feeling of my stomach dropping. She was seeing my brother behind my back and to me that was much worse than keeping John a secret.

"How did you even know?" I avoided brining Kennedy up again, I didn't want to even think about it.

"You were hardly discrete, after the party when you were arguing on the stairs, and then when you told me about your past I knew you weren't just going to forgive him, but recently you've been acting weird about him and then Cat shows up, and as much as I love Garrett we all know he's not 'Mr Sexy'." She was annoyed I'd lied to her, not that I could blame her. I would be annoyed too. In fact I WAS annoyed; she'd lied to me about Kennedy.

I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose as I thought of a half decent reply, "I love him." Was the only reply I could come up with.

"He's your teacher." Was hers.

"I love the fact your biggest concern is that he's my teacher, not that you're concerned he's going to hurt me again." I laughed bitterly.

"Of course I care about that!" She snapped, drawing the attention of random passers-by.

"Would you please keep your voice down?" I snapped, "I don't need the attention. I know you don't approve, but you're supposed to be my best friend, you're supposed to support me." I whispered. I avoided looking at her; I didn't like the look of disdain on her face.

"No. I'm your best friend and I'm meant to stop you from getting hurt! From screwing up your life!" She growled. "Not to just stand by and watch you throw your life away."

"It's my mistake to make." I argued.

"Let's see what Kennedy thinks about that, shall we?" She smirked.

"You wouldn't?" I snarled, anger taking over my body. "You'd be willing to ruin my happiness, just because you don't agree with what I'm doing?" I couldn't believe her. She was supposed to be my best friend. I knew she wouldn't be happy about it, but I didn't think she'd take it this far. "Why not just go and tell the school board, or the police?" I snapped, storming off not bothering to wait for her reply.

I felt myself shake with anger as I pulled out my phone to tell John to come and get me. I was going to dinner at his parents tonight, which I had almost forgotten about, so I thought we might as well go over now. It was four o'clock and it would give me a chance to talk to John about what had just happened. I needed him to know, because I needed him to know everything and still want to be with me.

"Are you okay?" Cat asked, noticing my mascara streaked face. I'd been crying and I hadn't even noticed.

"John's coming to get us, let's go." I waited till we were in the mall car park before telling her what had happened.

"I can't believe she'd do that to you!" She gaped as I told her she'd threatened to tell Kennedy. "I mean, I can understand not approving, but surely she's noticed how happy you are, surely that's more important?" I'd thought so too, but apparently Fran didn't agree.

I didn't get a chance to reply before the white pick-up was in front of us. I hopped in the middle, sandwiched between Cat and John. "So, why did you need me to come and get you? Dinner isn't for another two hours, oh and thank you for telling me last night!" He said sarcastically.

"It slipped my mind, sorry. I wanted you to come and pick me up because I needed you to know that Fran worked out I was seeing you. She wants to tell Kenny, I begged her not to, but I don't think she's going to listen. I understand if you want to call an end to this." I sighed, holding back the tears, because truth be told, I wasn't sure I could cope if he did. I'd fixed myself once by escaping the country and through months of therapy, but I wasn't sure I could do it again. I didn't have the strength or energy.

I saw John's adam apple bounce up and down, and his mouth drew into a tight line. "We'll figure it out. Let's just go and enjoy dinner for now." he smiled tightly, but it didn't reach his eyes, and I wasn't the only one to notice because I felt Cat grip at my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her eyes were filled with pity and it took everything I had not to burst into tears there and then.

Why could things not just go right for once?