Status: Alive and Kicking!
The Ripple Effect
PART I: Prelude
He was perfect. His beautiful eyes were innocent and the perfect shade of icy blue, his face was small and the perfect oval, his tiny fingers curled as his perfect mind relayed this new state of consciousness to his beautiful, tiny body… He was just so perfect.
“Would you like to hold him?”
My face paled, and I stuttered. Me? But… What if I dropped him? What if I harmed this beautiful angel, this innocent gift?
“But-But I—”
“New mothers are always like this,” the nurse murmured gently, placing the crying baby in my arms regardless of my protests. “He’s your baby, dear: he’s safer with you than anyone else.”
I still stumbled with my tongue even after she had gone. The angel had stopped crying, choosing to redirect his energy on gawking up at me with those beautiful, wide oceans he called eyes. A nervous smile crept onto my lips as he grasped one of my fingers in a loose fist before shrieking out in delight.
“You’re my baby,” I murmured, still not truly believing the words spilling past my lips. “My sweet baby boy…”
A gentle hand falling on my shoulder pulled me away far too soon. The nurse smiled to me.
“There, another happy mother and son. Will you have any visitors? Does anyone know you’re here?”
I looked down to my new son and played with his hands as I shook my head.
We were all alone in this world.
“An aunt? A cousin? Your parents?”
I cringed. Family, we had none. My parents—my angel’s grandparents—had disowned me well over six months ago. They said that they wanted nothing to do with my heathen lifestyle. I was stupid enough to fall into some man’s bed, they said, so I was stupid enough to face the consequences alone. I never corrected them when they spoke about me as a failure or as a promiscuous whore for not knowing “my lover” by name.
I would rather be nothing to them than to be pitied constantly, for them to know how weak and feeble I was.
“He’s all I have,” I choked out, gathering my baby in my arms and holding him against my chest as he began to wail. “But he’s all I need.”
“Sweetheart, there must be someone,” she insisted, straightening up and staring down at me with such concern on her face.
Such pity.
I shook my head quickly, forcing a happy smile onto my face.
“Don’t look at me like that, please. It just means that he is my world, that he is my everything. Not many mothers can say that.”
My eyes drifted back to my child, who was reading me to see if I was lying to him. Those small eyes were brimming with quiet tears; he was afraid I would leave him like everyone else had forsaken us.
“My life is devoted to him now, and that’s all there is to it.”
“But what about—”
“When can I return home? I’d like to get Rein settled.”
“Would you like to hold him?”
My face paled, and I stuttered. Me? But… What if I dropped him? What if I harmed this beautiful angel, this innocent gift?
“But-But I—”
“New mothers are always like this,” the nurse murmured gently, placing the crying baby in my arms regardless of my protests. “He’s your baby, dear: he’s safer with you than anyone else.”
I still stumbled with my tongue even after she had gone. The angel had stopped crying, choosing to redirect his energy on gawking up at me with those beautiful, wide oceans he called eyes. A nervous smile crept onto my lips as he grasped one of my fingers in a loose fist before shrieking out in delight.
“You’re my baby,” I murmured, still not truly believing the words spilling past my lips. “My sweet baby boy…”
A gentle hand falling on my shoulder pulled me away far too soon. The nurse smiled to me.
“There, another happy mother and son. Will you have any visitors? Does anyone know you’re here?”
I looked down to my new son and played with his hands as I shook my head.
We were all alone in this world.
“An aunt? A cousin? Your parents?”
I cringed. Family, we had none. My parents—my angel’s grandparents—had disowned me well over six months ago. They said that they wanted nothing to do with my heathen lifestyle. I was stupid enough to fall into some man’s bed, they said, so I was stupid enough to face the consequences alone. I never corrected them when they spoke about me as a failure or as a promiscuous whore for not knowing “my lover” by name.
I would rather be nothing to them than to be pitied constantly, for them to know how weak and feeble I was.
“He’s all I have,” I choked out, gathering my baby in my arms and holding him against my chest as he began to wail. “But he’s all I need.”
“Sweetheart, there must be someone,” she insisted, straightening up and staring down at me with such concern on her face.
Such pity.
I shook my head quickly, forcing a happy smile onto my face.
“Don’t look at me like that, please. It just means that he is my world, that he is my everything. Not many mothers can say that.”
My eyes drifted back to my child, who was reading me to see if I was lying to him. Those small eyes were brimming with quiet tears; he was afraid I would leave him like everyone else had forsaken us.
“My life is devoted to him now, and that’s all there is to it.”
“But what about—”
“When can I return home? I’d like to get Rein settled.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Aaaaaand after two years, I managed to stumble back onto the face of the Earth. And Mibba has changed so much that it took me nearly twenty minutes to figure out how to change my password!Anyway, I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things again. Trust that I've kept writing in these past months, and I have acquired a multitude of currently unseen manuscripts. This is, right now at least, my favourite, so hopefully we'll see where this goes--as I have no idea right now! :)
It feels good to be home, though,
Miranda.