You Belong With Me

I belong with you, not Lisa, I thought selfishly, as he clung onto me for dear life, sobs wracking his body.

Alex had been torn apart so many times by Lisa, but he kept going back. Why? She only hurt him again.

"Jack?" He said, wiping his tears away with his hands.

"Yes Alex?" I replied, not mentioning that my heart broke in two every time he cried over Lisa.

"Why would she cheat on me? Again?" Alex asked, looking at me for reassurance.

"I don't know Alex," I said, "If I had someone, I'd never cheat on them, because they would be my world."

"You say someone, not a girlfriend."

Damn, I thought he wouldn't notice.

"Uh, never mind," I stuttered, "I should go, my parents will be wondering where I've gone."

I got up and left Alex on his bed, looking confused, with tears still sliding down his face. I felt really guilty as I walked away from his house to mine.

I shouldn't have said that, I really shouldn't have. I entered my house and practically ran upstairs to my room.

Slamming the door, I threw myself on my bed. I buried my face in my pillow, feeling tears leak out of my eyes.

***

"Jack?"

I looked up from my pillow, which was wet with my tears, and saw Alex standing in the doorway, shuffling from foot to foot.

"Yeah?" I said, my voice sounding rough to my ears.

"Why were you crying?" He asked, moving to sit on the end of my bed.

"Err... No reason."

I couldn't exactly say, oh well, it's because of you and Lisa, that fact that you're with her and not me, could I?

Alex moved closer and patted me on the shoulder.

"It must be something Jack, if you're crying like that."

It's nothing." I said, he would never be my friend again if I told him that I loved him, had done since we met.

"Sure?"

"I'm fine." I said, managing a weak smile.

***

When Alex jogged towards Lisa in the parking lot the next day, I frowned, this would only end in Alex's tears again.

I scowled as they kissed in the middle of the parking lot. Why couldn't that be me being kissed?

"'Sup Jack." Rian said from next to me, "What's up?"

I tore my eyes away from Lisa and Alex to look at Rian and Zack.

"Nothing... really..." I risked a glance over to the happy couple.

"Ah. C'mon Jack. Let's go." Zack said, pulling me gently by the arm.

I walked with them to the first class of the day, math.

"You gonna be alright?" Zack asked.

They knew Alex and Lisa were in this class with me.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. Don't worry." I said, quickly ducking into classroom as I saw Alex walking hand in hand with Lisa down the corridor.

I sat at the very back of the class and did nothing all lesson. When the bell finally rang, I practically ran out of there, eager to avoid Alex and Lisa for a bit longer, but it was just my luck to have my next class with Alex.

As he sat down next to me, he said, "Hey, Jack. Why didn't you wait for me and Lisa after maths?"

"Didn't feel like it." I replied.

What I really meant was that I didn't feel like cracking my heart just that little bit more, by torturing myself seeing them together.

"Why not?"

I looked towards the front of the room as I answered, "Didn't feel like killing myself yet again."

"What d'you mean?"

I looked at Alex, seeing his brown eyes clouded with confusion.

"Fuck this." I said, standing up and leaving the room before the teacher called role.

***

In the centre of town, I scuffed my converse along the sidewalk, making my way slowly to a certain shop.

My phone had rung, several times it was Alex. But I had ignored him. I'd answered the texts from Rian and Zack, telling them I was ok.

Music assaulted my eardrums, this time it was Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams", which I thought fit my mood perfectly.

I had reached the shop and went inside, the bell ringing above me, announcing my arrival.

The person on the cash-machine looked up and said, "Hey Jack."

"Hey Martin."

"The usual?" He asked, referring to my cigarettes.

I nodded and handed the money over. He passed me the twenty pack. I tucked them in my hoodie pocket for safekeeping.

"Bye Martin." I said, opening the door.

"See ya."

Martin knew I wasn't eighteen, but he sold them to me because he had known me since forever.

Wandering through town, I watched as people's lives changed. I found it fascinating. Eventually, I sat down on a low wall, near school and lit a cigarette. I took a deep drag and breathed the smoke out, feeling myself relax.

My phone buzzed and I looked at the screen. It was Rian. I took a headphone out and answered.

"Hey Rian."

"Hey man, where are you now?" Rian asked.

"Just on the wall, as per usual. Why?"

I took a drag of my fag, letting the smoke drift out of my mouth.

"Thought you might be. Anyway, are coming back to school?"

"Don't see why I should break my heart again and again, so no, I'm not. Make an excuse for me, will you?"

"Will do. Bye man." Rian said.

I hung up and got up off the wall. I stubbed my fag out and flicked it into the small woods behind me. I slowly walked past school, ignoring the students who stared at me through the windows.

***

"You skipped again?"

"Uh-huh." I said, nodding. I finished making my ham sandwich and went upstairs to my room.

"You know, you can't keep skipping! You'll fail and have to repeat!" May yelled after me.

I rolled my eyes, muttering, "Sure, sure, whatever."

I closed my door and put my iPod on its docking station. I sat down at my desk and ate the sandwich before staring aimlessly at the posters on my wall, mainly thinking about Alex.

He was, for lack of better word, perfect. Every time he smiled, he made butterflies erupt in my stomach. And when he laughed, it sounded like angels laughing. Yeah, I was in deep.

I smiled foolishly before frowning. Lisa had him, not me.

I looked fondly at the acoustic guitar stood up next to my bed. I had been drooling over it for weeks before my birthday and then on my birthday, Alex had surprised me by giving it to me. It was by far the best present anyone had ever given me.

I got up from my chair and went across the room to pick up the guitar. Plucking the strings, I sat on my bed. I traced my fingers slowly over the inscription on the back, which read, "To Jack, the best mate anyone could ask for. Alex."

It made me smile as I thought about how he'd saved up his money purely for the purpose of buying me my dream guitar. Alex had told me afterwards that he'd gone without the newest CD by Green Day, just so he could buy me the guitar. I had leant him my copy so he could put it on his iPod.

***

"Hey Jack." Alex said, holding Lisa's hand tightly.

"Hey Alex. How are you?" I asked, dropping into step next to him.

"We're good," He winked at me and grinned, "If you know what I mean. You?"

Never been worse, thanks for asking.

I smiled and said, "I didn't need to know about your sex life Alex, so just shut up."

"B-b-but..." He stuttered, pouting.

"No buts, just shut up."

"Fine."

I laughed, it was so easy to wind Alex up.

We arrived at our shared first class, math. I always shared this class with the happy couple. It killed me inside, but of course Alex doesn't know that.

The class flied by without me noticing. I was concentrating on anything but the giggling couple directly in front of me.

I felt in my jeans pockets, I had my lighter, cigarettes and iPod, so I could skip this next lesson I had with Alex.

When the bell went, I raced out of the room, pulling my backpack on my right shoulder.

"Jack! Where are you going?" Alex yelled down the corridor after me.

I ignored him, pushing through the crowds. Soon, I was out of the school and walking across the field. I paused briefly to light a fag and continue walking.

***

"Jack, where did you go?" Alex said when I answered the phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Me? I went..." I thought for a moment, Alex probably wouldn't be too pleased if I told him that I was sitting on my wall at the end of my garden, smoking a cigarette. So I told him, "Just in my garden, sitting on the wall, thinking."

"About what?"

You.

"Nothing much Alex. Doesn't matter." I said.

"It must be something, you sound upset."

Damn Alex and his intuition.

"It's nothing. Honestly." I said, hoping he would just leave it.

But, of course, he didn't.

"Jack. Tell me."

"No." I said stubbornly.

"C'mon, tell me Jack." He said, equally stubborn.

"No." I said before handing up.

I took a drag of my cigarette and sighed, watching as the smoke disappeared into the breeze.

If Alex even suggested that he liked me in more than a friend way, I would be ecstatic. But naturally, that was never going to happen, he was straight and he had a girlfriend to prove it.

I sighed heavily and stubbed my cigarette out. I looked down at my converse-clad feet covered in mud and regretted wearing them slightly.

"Jack? Are you here?" A very familiar voice called down the garden.

Alex.

"I'm here." I said loudly so he could hear me.

A few minutes later and he was standing in front of me. Alex sat down next to me, panting slightly.

"Jack, seriously, tell me why you're upset." He said, once he'd got his breath back.

His hair was in his perfect brown eyes and I had to suppress the urge to move it. God, he was perfect.

"No. Alex, you don't want to know." I said firmly.

"I do. I'm your best mate, now tell me. Please."

"You came from school just so you could ask me that?" I questioned.

"Yes, now tell me. You've made me curious."

His phone rang and he answered it.

"Oh hey Lisa... Yeah, I'm at Jack's... He's my best friend, of course I'm allowed... Ok, love you bye."

"Sorry about that. Wait, why are you crying?" He put an arm around my waist, pulling me into him.

Tears had started to slide down my cheeks when I heard him say those two important words to Lisa. It had got me that he was never ever going to feel the same way I did. Not in a million years.

"Jack?"

I sniffled, "Y-yeah Alex?"

"Tell me please, I want to know what's making you so obviously upset." Alex almost whispered.

"It's just you..." I mumbled.

"Me?"

"Yeah, I -hic!- love you. But obviously, you're never going to feel that same way, you've got Lisa." I said timidly, afraid that I'd lost my best friend and the love of my life in one sentence.

"Oh." He said and then left.

I watched sadly as he departed, walking down the stone path.

I'd lost him.

With that thought in mind, I started crying harder.