Untitled for the Moment

''I wish you meant that,'' JP told me. I rolled my eyes at him. I always mean everything I say. I didn’t need this. This was complete bullshit. I just wanted my friend back. I fucked up everything. I at least could admit it. I told his girlfriend everything he wanted me to tell her.

''I mean it JP, I really am happy for you two, like I said I want you as my friend, I reread our old tweets and I just miss that,''

‘‘it’s funny how your friends keep tweeting and posting shit on tumblr,''

''I told you JP if you got a problem take it up with my friends not me,''

''That's right, you would want me to tell them something, so they have a reason to come over and fuck me up,'' he said. I just shook my head and let out a chuckle.

''No I don’t, that’s what they want, and if I wanted that I would have let them do it the first time they told me,'' I said smiling.

''Wow you've really changed,''

''I haven’t changed at all, I just gave up,'' he just rolled his eyes at me. I knew he was sarcastic. JP would never listen to me or how I feel. I walked away not saying anything. I saw a white truck pull into his drive way. It was his girlfriend. I completely ignored her and got into my Nissan versa. I have too much going for me right now. I turned on the car and turned up the radio. I just wanted my music to be blaring through the radio to drown out everything. I saw JP approaching the car. I took off without him being able to say anything. This was the best thing for the both us. My mind started racing with thoughts. I started crying with all the good and bad that happened between. Then it came on, the song I had him cover for me. It was Moment by Aiden. I turned the song because it bought one of the most painful memories that I want to forget. I got to my apartment. It was empty as usual. No one would visit me. I turned my back on everyone. I walked into my room pulled out my zebra print suitcase. I just smiled; I was given the opportunity to work for warped tour. It was my dream job. I was sad to not have anyone to share this moment with. I'll find someone eventually but not right now. I had to take a bus ride up to Auburn, Washington to meet up with the other roadies. I was nervous as hell but I would be alright. I double checked my bag for everything. I didn’t know what I would need. Definitely for sure I needed my camera, laptop, and phone. I looked at my phone, speaking of it, there was a message from JP but I deleted it. I don’t need his negativity. I'm going on positive trip of my dreams. I heard a honk; I knew that was the taxi to take me to the greyhound station. I sighed zipped up my suitcase. I did one more run through of my apartment. It was in the clear. I threw my stuff in the back on the taxi. I got out my phone to see if my parents called or texted me. Nothing from them only a text from JP, I deleted it without reading. This will be for the best. I arrived at the greyhound station, there were a few people waiting. The Victorville stop wasn’t a layover; it was a pick up station next stop would be San Francisco with a two hour layer over. I looked out the window, and then looked at the very few people on the bus. I wondered if any of them were as lonely as me. I was hoping one of them would try to make conversation. My phone went off again, it was JP. I finally read the text. He asked why I was ignoring him, where was I going, why did I leave in such a hurry. JP sent me another text. I took a quick glance at it. I let a slight laugh he said he was sorry for not telling me Sydney was coming over and when he could see me again. When he would see me again? I replied to him in two months or more who knows where my life is going. The buzzing of tires on the bus started bugging me. I just stared out the window. I saw nothing on the road. I was hoping it won’t be this way the whole time. The bus finally rolled into the dim city lights of San Francisco. I slowly walked off the bus with my carry on backpack. I got my suitcase and took a seat in the station. I watched the other passengers quickly get on the other bus. There were a few people in the station. I wondered where they were all going. Finally after a long two hour layover I was allowed to get on the bus to head to Washington. This bus was surprisingly full this time. I found a seat next to this guy. He looked like someone you would see outside of a home depot. I let out a slight laugh when I sat next to him. He looked at me and smiled. I pulled out my laptop to start my blog.

''Not to bug but my name is Joey,'' he said.

''Mine is Ashley, where are you heading?'' I asked. I kept typing in my blog waiting for him to respond.

''You’re going to laugh at me Ashley I'm following the warped tour promoting my solo work the tour starts in Washington,''

''No way really, I'm working the warped tour as their official blogger,''

''Wow, do you want to check my stuff out, maybe you can help promote me,'' Joey said

''I wouldn't mind doing that,''

''My solo project name is Setting Sunrise, I've done covers and I write my own stuff,'' he said smiling. Joey had a really beautiful smile.

''Any demos, so I can hand them out when I'm not interviewing bands,''

''Are you serious you would do that for me,'' he asked.

''Of course,'' I watched him dig into his bag for a couple of demos. Soon as he handed me a few, I automatically loaded one into my iTunes so I could start listening to his stuff. I just smiled as I listened to it.

"This is really good, Joey,''

‘‘Thanks I just hope I can get more people to like it,''

''They will,'' I said to Joey. I could sense Joey thought I was lying. My phone went off again and it sort of startled me. I jumped and Joey looked over and laughed at me. I honestly thought I turned it off.

''Is that your boyfriend texting you?'' he asked.

''Uh no, but I love him as if he was my boyfriend, I learned that if I cant love him as a lover I will love him as a friend and yes I just totally jacked the lyrics from La Dispute, I have them tattooed on me, I actually have a lot of lyrics on me,'' I gritted my teeth. I felt embarrassed for telling him that I had lyrics tattooed on me of bands people didn’t even know of. He smiled and asked.

''Would you tell me about the other ones please?'' I smiled after he asked me.

''These ones on my chest say letting go is easier when you have nothing left to lose, then around my right wrist it says if love exists I will fall, the ones on my lower forearm say the crows are coming for us,''

''Those must have a lot of meaning to get them tattooed or the bands meant a lot to you,''

''Joey you know how when you were a teen, you wanted to meet your music idols and stuff like that?''

''Of course who didn’t,’’?

''I would go to shows and wait outside venues all day just to get a chance to meet them, from doing that I became best friends with my favorite bands, any so Cal date there was or Vegas date I was there for them, even if I had to spange my way I would, it seems silly to some and even though I’m 24 going 25 I still wait outside all day until the show starts,''

''Why that would be silly, did you ever think about becoming a tour manager or merch girl,’’?

''They're afraid I won’t love it as much,''

''Who told you that?''

''Matt Good, Marti Rubels, Matty Mullins, Chris Motionless,''

''This is a good chance to prove them wrong,''

''That’s why I took it Joey,'' I said closing my laptop. I put it into my bag, not another word was spoken between Joey and me. He started snoring, and I sort of wanted to smother him with a pillow because the snoring was so bad. I tossed and turned all night, I couldn’t sleep. I even stared at joey creepily when he woke up for a brief moment. He just smiled at and let out a small laugh then turned back over.