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Vic picked me up later and drove me to my dad's place. My dad was really excited to finally have me again. He even made an apple pie, which is my favorite. I eat a couple of slices then I tell my dad I was really tired and should get some sleep. He helped me get to my room and then left me alone.

I felt like my room was the exact same thing since I left San Diego with Alex. I had this mural on the wall in which I pasted pictures in it, pictures of me as a kid, pictures of me and my friends and pictures of me and my brothers. My brothers and I were extremely close until Brian showed up. Then it all went downhill.

All the pictures I had with them, were taken before my Brian-phase. On that time everything was about him. I had already skipped thanksgiving dinner to go smoke pot with Brian once. That left Mike and Vic extremely upset and angry. I couldn't give a fuck. After Brian broke up with me, I really wanted to reunite us, to make us like we were. But I couldn't. I was too proud to go to them and apologise for my behavior. And I was also afraid, afraid they wouldn't forgive me. I feel like going to this tour might make us united again.

I loved seeing them on tour, because they got so happy and I was really proud of them. But at the same time, I hated going on tour, because when I saw them happy, it made me want to be happy. And I'm not. I don't have something I'm good at. All my friends hate me now, nobody seems to care about me at all. I'm my family's failure. They all have these huge expectations for me, but there's nothing I'm good at. My brothers have this amazing band which is loved world-wide, while I'm the girl who is 18 and hasn't figured out her life yet.

I just want tour to start, so I can forget about my life and focus on my family and my remaining friends, which are my brother's band mates and crew.