Status: Hope you enjoy c:
Hold On Till May
1/1.
As soon as the last box was emptied and set in the corner with the rest of them, a tall lanky boy with the name of Jack Barakat quickly tied on his old, beat up converse and set out the front door to explore the new city of Towson, Maryland.
The residential portion of the town that he lived in reminded him a lot of his old town in back up north in Rhode Island. The houses on each street all matched for the most part, only varying by color and car parked out in the driveway. It was a warm evening in the end of August, and as the sun began it's slow decent to the horizon, small children began to shut off their sprinklers and wrap towels around their cold bodies before retreating back inside their perfect houses with their happy suburban families.
Jack just sighed at the sight as he continued down the street, watching as the sky began to transform into different shades of orange and pink. He wished that his family was like that. He could walk past his own father right now and have no idea that he was looking into the eyes of the man who had conceived him only 17 years prior. His mother did nothing but drink away her stress and sorrows night after night, constantly pacing between the living room and kitchen to pour herself yet another glass of whatever she happened to be drinking that night. Jack would sit in his room, door locked and light on while listening carefully for his mothers footsteps. She never spent more than ten minutes at a time in the living room, and every time Jack heard her going to the kitchen and back, he would hold his breath as she stomped past the bottom of the staircase, paying too much attention to her argument over the phone with her boyfriend to really care as to whether or not her only son who still lives at home is actually making the effort to keep up with his studies.
The reason Jack would get so scared every time his mother passed the stairway to his one safe haven was because of one of the one few times she actually cared about him and his school work. With a new online grading system in his old school, Jack's mom could easily see now all of the homework that Jack was having trouble turning in on time. It was hard for him to concentrate on his work when there was a constant screaming-match happening only ten feet below him; it wasn't like his mother even tried to create a positive learning environment in the house. Jack had early-on accepted his fate as a Burger King cashier until he was at least 70 years old; by then the smell of grease and processed burgers would forever cling to his skin, no matter how much time he spent trying to bathe it away.
One night, some of Jack's grades had been at an all time low because of the lack of work he had been able to get done. Jack was hoping that his mother wouldn't notice the missing assignments piling up - he planned on getting them done in a quiet place like the library over the weekend. In the middle of dinner with his siblings and his mother's boyfriend, she decided that she was going to bring up the subject of Jack's grades. Instead of helping him, however, she continued to scold him for not doing as much work as he could and that he was a "very intelligent young man". His siblings stared awkwardly and her boyfriend did nothing to protect him, and Jack was having trouble breathing. After a few minutes, Jack was full-out sobbing at the dining room table, hyperventilating also. Finally, Jack's mother excused him from the table and he gratefully raced up the stairs.
Jack cowered in the corner of his room, trying everything to calm his breathing and tears to no avail. He spent about twenty minutes in that position, eyes constantly finding their way to the shiny blade of a scissor on his desk across the room. He knew that there were many people who thought self-harming was a way to release the pain you were feeling, and he was about to get up and get the scissors when he heard the door handle turn and saw his mother come into the room. She seemed to be like a completely different person for a few minutes, trying to soothe Jack and calm him down. He was afraid of her being here, it just made him feel worse. Eventually, she started to get annoyed with the fact that Jack was having trouble calming down, and was obviously frustrated. "Would you like me to take you to the mental hospital?" she asked bluntly. "M-maybe..." Jack choked out as he watched his mother walk away from the broken boy on the floor, eyes full of disgust and disappointment and no real sympathy.
Jack remembers that night perfectly, and he brushed away a couple of stray tears as he advanced down the cracked sidewalk.
"Hey, you look like you need a hug," Jack heard a voice from somewhere around him. Spinning on his heels, he expected to find someone behind him to no avail. "Up here, silly!" Jack heard a giggle from above him, silently contemplating for just a moment if God was calling from above.
When Jack looked up, the first thing he noticed was a worn out pair of black converse dangling, connected to a body perched from a tree branch high above him. The angelic but deep voice confirmed the figure was a male. The boy had long dark and disheveled hair, similarly styled to Jack's in a way but without the signature skunk patch and mohawk. His clothing style was similar to Jack's also; the mystery boy was sporting black skinny jeans, a tight gray v-neck and a gray beanie.
"Well?" the boy asked, and Jack blushed as he wondered how long he had been staring for. The boy took Jack's silence as a yes and gracefully climbed down the tree. "Do you want to talk about it?" the boy asked, taking Jack in a warm and tight embrace. "I don't even know you, though." Jack replied quietly, nervous that he may say something wrong to someone so perfect.
"Let's change that," the boy declared, "my name is Alex." Alex held his hand out to Jack expectantly, and Jack finally snapped out of his loving stare. "J-jack," he replied, mentally scolding himself for his awkwardness as Alex just smiled at him.
Grasping Jack's hand, Alex led him through a small white gate into a well-kept back yard. Jack hadn't noticed until just now that he seemed to have made his way into the section of town where the higher-class live. Why was this boy being so nice to him?
"So Jack, tell me about yourself," Alex said, sitting on the grass and patting next to him, expecting Jack to follow. Jack awkwardly lowered himself down and crossed his legs, noticing the beautiful view from the yard. Another thing Jack hadn't realized was how close to the water he was; they had the perfect view of the sun beginning to dip below the shimmering water.
"Well, I'm seventeen years old, I'm a senior in high school, I live a few miles down the road, I just moved here from the state of Rhode Island..."
"Whoa, that's an actual state?" Alex asked, clearly surprised, "I honestly thought Rhode Island was a part of New York..." Jack just giggled at Alex's reaction to his home state. Alex thought that Jack's giggle was insanely adorable.
"That's actually a common misconception," Jack informed Alex. "But anyway, umm, I play guitar, and my favorite bands are Green Day, Blink-182, and The Foo Fighters."
Alex's eyes lit up as Jack mentioned who his favorite bands were. "No way!" Alex exclaimed, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. It was a black iPhone 5. Clearly, this kid has money, Jack thought to himself. Jack only had the iPhone 4 still, and the screen was cracked because his contract wouldn't allow him to get another phone for another few months. 'Dammit' by Blink-182 started playing from the speakers of Alex's phone, pulling Jack from his thoughts of his broken cell phone.
"I'm Alex, also seventeen years old, a senior in high school as well. We have the same music taste, as you can see, I am also able to play guitar and my friends think I'm a pretty good singer..." Alex blushed, looking down.
"Sing for me?" Jack asked quietly. Jack wasn't sure why he was suddenly whispering; he felt as though if he was too loud it would disturb the beautiful dusk surroundings. Alex's blush grew to a darker shade of crimson, but he nodded and began to sing anyway.
And it'll happen once again
You'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
And sees through the master plan
But everybody's gone
And you've been there for too long
To face this on your own
Well, I guess this is growing up
The song felt to Jack as if it fit the current situation perfectly right now. "Alex, your voice is amazing," Jack whispered, causing a grin to break out on Alex's face. "Thanks, Jack." came Alex's reply, neither boy realized they had been scooting closer together until their fingers brushed against each other, and now both boys were blushing greatly.
"So," Alex began, shifting to face Jack and hold both of his hands, "like I asked before, do you want to talk about it?"
Jack told Alex all about his alcoholic mom and how his father abandoned them along with his older siblings. He explained how he has anxiety and depression, but he received no kind of professional help because his mother refused to accept the fact that she was slowly destroying the only son she has left. "You'll be fine tomorrow," was her excuse to not help her son every day.
By the time Jack was done with his story, he and Alex both were slightly teary-eyed. "Wow Jack..." Alex breathed out, embracing the slightly younger boy tightly. (Somewhere in their small talk Alex found out that Jack is 8 months younger than Alex). Both boys could have stayed in that position forever if they had the chance.
Jack decided to take a chance and ask Alex about his life, but start off simple. "So, why exactly were you creeping on me in a tree?" Jack joked and Alex smiled slightly.
"I love that tree. It's like my other home; one million branches and I love every one. Sure, I live in this pretty big fancy house here, but that's the thing; we have it because we have money and money is all my parents care about. They work so long and so hard that they barely even remember that I exist anymore. Ever since my brother..."
Alex paused and dismissed that subject, and Jack decided now would not be a good time to ask about it. "One time, after this, er, incident, I spent most of my day in that very tree. I watched the sun go down alone, it became night, and my parents never came looking for me. I realized in that moment at about midnight when all of the lights began to flick off that my parents truly don't care anymore. Ever since that, I sit up there almost every day, waiting for mom and dad to search for me. I swear I spend so much time just climbing that tree that I'm going crazy."
"Well," Jack said, at a loss for words. "When your parents aren't able to be there for you, I will be. I promise."
"You mean that?" Alex replied, excited yet nervous about finally getting close to someone besides his brother Tom.
"Of course I do, Alex." Somehow, by this point, the boys' faces were only inches apart, deep brown eyes staring into each other. "I'm nervous," Alex said under his breath, and Jack almost didn't hear anything. "Don't be," Jack whispered before softly brushing his lips against Alex's, who gladly returned the kiss. It only lasted for a few seconds, but butterflies quickly grew in each of the boys' stomachs, and maybe this was going to be more than just a friendship.
"Alex, there's one more thing I need to tell you..." Jack trailed off, earning just a nod in reply from Alex. "For months I have been planning to end my life, I just...I can't do this anymore. I can't get close to people without them walking away from me, or sticking around purely for their own entertainment by hurting me. I can't do anything right in general, nobody cares about me, I'm just a mess."
"What day, Jack?" Was Alex's only reply.
"April 30th," Jack informed Alex quietly.
Today was April 23, giving Jack just another week. Alex couldn't have that. He couldn't just meet someone, get close to them, and lose them before he even got the chance to get closer.
"Please, just hold on till May." Alex whispered.
The residential portion of the town that he lived in reminded him a lot of his old town in back up north in Rhode Island. The houses on each street all matched for the most part, only varying by color and car parked out in the driveway. It was a warm evening in the end of August, and as the sun began it's slow decent to the horizon, small children began to shut off their sprinklers and wrap towels around their cold bodies before retreating back inside their perfect houses with their happy suburban families.
Jack just sighed at the sight as he continued down the street, watching as the sky began to transform into different shades of orange and pink. He wished that his family was like that. He could walk past his own father right now and have no idea that he was looking into the eyes of the man who had conceived him only 17 years prior. His mother did nothing but drink away her stress and sorrows night after night, constantly pacing between the living room and kitchen to pour herself yet another glass of whatever she happened to be drinking that night. Jack would sit in his room, door locked and light on while listening carefully for his mothers footsteps. She never spent more than ten minutes at a time in the living room, and every time Jack heard her going to the kitchen and back, he would hold his breath as she stomped past the bottom of the staircase, paying too much attention to her argument over the phone with her boyfriend to really care as to whether or not her only son who still lives at home is actually making the effort to keep up with his studies.
The reason Jack would get so scared every time his mother passed the stairway to his one safe haven was because of one of the one few times she actually cared about him and his school work. With a new online grading system in his old school, Jack's mom could easily see now all of the homework that Jack was having trouble turning in on time. It was hard for him to concentrate on his work when there was a constant screaming-match happening only ten feet below him; it wasn't like his mother even tried to create a positive learning environment in the house. Jack had early-on accepted his fate as a Burger King cashier until he was at least 70 years old; by then the smell of grease and processed burgers would forever cling to his skin, no matter how much time he spent trying to bathe it away.
One night, some of Jack's grades had been at an all time low because of the lack of work he had been able to get done. Jack was hoping that his mother wouldn't notice the missing assignments piling up - he planned on getting them done in a quiet place like the library over the weekend. In the middle of dinner with his siblings and his mother's boyfriend, she decided that she was going to bring up the subject of Jack's grades. Instead of helping him, however, she continued to scold him for not doing as much work as he could and that he was a "very intelligent young man". His siblings stared awkwardly and her boyfriend did nothing to protect him, and Jack was having trouble breathing. After a few minutes, Jack was full-out sobbing at the dining room table, hyperventilating also. Finally, Jack's mother excused him from the table and he gratefully raced up the stairs.
Jack cowered in the corner of his room, trying everything to calm his breathing and tears to no avail. He spent about twenty minutes in that position, eyes constantly finding their way to the shiny blade of a scissor on his desk across the room. He knew that there were many people who thought self-harming was a way to release the pain you were feeling, and he was about to get up and get the scissors when he heard the door handle turn and saw his mother come into the room. She seemed to be like a completely different person for a few minutes, trying to soothe Jack and calm him down. He was afraid of her being here, it just made him feel worse. Eventually, she started to get annoyed with the fact that Jack was having trouble calming down, and was obviously frustrated. "Would you like me to take you to the mental hospital?" she asked bluntly. "M-maybe..." Jack choked out as he watched his mother walk away from the broken boy on the floor, eyes full of disgust and disappointment and no real sympathy.
Jack remembers that night perfectly, and he brushed away a couple of stray tears as he advanced down the cracked sidewalk.
"Hey, you look like you need a hug," Jack heard a voice from somewhere around him. Spinning on his heels, he expected to find someone behind him to no avail. "Up here, silly!" Jack heard a giggle from above him, silently contemplating for just a moment if God was calling from above.
When Jack looked up, the first thing he noticed was a worn out pair of black converse dangling, connected to a body perched from a tree branch high above him. The angelic but deep voice confirmed the figure was a male. The boy had long dark and disheveled hair, similarly styled to Jack's in a way but without the signature skunk patch and mohawk. His clothing style was similar to Jack's also; the mystery boy was sporting black skinny jeans, a tight gray v-neck and a gray beanie.
"Well?" the boy asked, and Jack blushed as he wondered how long he had been staring for. The boy took Jack's silence as a yes and gracefully climbed down the tree. "Do you want to talk about it?" the boy asked, taking Jack in a warm and tight embrace. "I don't even know you, though." Jack replied quietly, nervous that he may say something wrong to someone so perfect.
"Let's change that," the boy declared, "my name is Alex." Alex held his hand out to Jack expectantly, and Jack finally snapped out of his loving stare. "J-jack," he replied, mentally scolding himself for his awkwardness as Alex just smiled at him.
Grasping Jack's hand, Alex led him through a small white gate into a well-kept back yard. Jack hadn't noticed until just now that he seemed to have made his way into the section of town where the higher-class live. Why was this boy being so nice to him?
"So Jack, tell me about yourself," Alex said, sitting on the grass and patting next to him, expecting Jack to follow. Jack awkwardly lowered himself down and crossed his legs, noticing the beautiful view from the yard. Another thing Jack hadn't realized was how close to the water he was; they had the perfect view of the sun beginning to dip below the shimmering water.
"Well, I'm seventeen years old, I'm a senior in high school, I live a few miles down the road, I just moved here from the state of Rhode Island..."
"Whoa, that's an actual state?" Alex asked, clearly surprised, "I honestly thought Rhode Island was a part of New York..." Jack just giggled at Alex's reaction to his home state. Alex thought that Jack's giggle was insanely adorable.
"That's actually a common misconception," Jack informed Alex. "But anyway, umm, I play guitar, and my favorite bands are Green Day, Blink-182, and The Foo Fighters."
Alex's eyes lit up as Jack mentioned who his favorite bands were. "No way!" Alex exclaimed, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. It was a black iPhone 5. Clearly, this kid has money, Jack thought to himself. Jack only had the iPhone 4 still, and the screen was cracked because his contract wouldn't allow him to get another phone for another few months. 'Dammit' by Blink-182 started playing from the speakers of Alex's phone, pulling Jack from his thoughts of his broken cell phone.
"I'm Alex, also seventeen years old, a senior in high school as well. We have the same music taste, as you can see, I am also able to play guitar and my friends think I'm a pretty good singer..." Alex blushed, looking down.
"Sing for me?" Jack asked quietly. Jack wasn't sure why he was suddenly whispering; he felt as though if he was too loud it would disturb the beautiful dusk surroundings. Alex's blush grew to a darker shade of crimson, but he nodded and began to sing anyway.
And it'll happen once again
You'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
And sees through the master plan
But everybody's gone
And you've been there for too long
To face this on your own
Well, I guess this is growing up
The song felt to Jack as if it fit the current situation perfectly right now. "Alex, your voice is amazing," Jack whispered, causing a grin to break out on Alex's face. "Thanks, Jack." came Alex's reply, neither boy realized they had been scooting closer together until their fingers brushed against each other, and now both boys were blushing greatly.
"So," Alex began, shifting to face Jack and hold both of his hands, "like I asked before, do you want to talk about it?"
Jack told Alex all about his alcoholic mom and how his father abandoned them along with his older siblings. He explained how he has anxiety and depression, but he received no kind of professional help because his mother refused to accept the fact that she was slowly destroying the only son she has left. "You'll be fine tomorrow," was her excuse to not help her son every day.
By the time Jack was done with his story, he and Alex both were slightly teary-eyed. "Wow Jack..." Alex breathed out, embracing the slightly younger boy tightly. (Somewhere in their small talk Alex found out that Jack is 8 months younger than Alex). Both boys could have stayed in that position forever if they had the chance.
Jack decided to take a chance and ask Alex about his life, but start off simple. "So, why exactly were you creeping on me in a tree?" Jack joked and Alex smiled slightly.
"I love that tree. It's like my other home; one million branches and I love every one. Sure, I live in this pretty big fancy house here, but that's the thing; we have it because we have money and money is all my parents care about. They work so long and so hard that they barely even remember that I exist anymore. Ever since my brother..."
Alex paused and dismissed that subject, and Jack decided now would not be a good time to ask about it. "One time, after this, er, incident, I spent most of my day in that very tree. I watched the sun go down alone, it became night, and my parents never came looking for me. I realized in that moment at about midnight when all of the lights began to flick off that my parents truly don't care anymore. Ever since that, I sit up there almost every day, waiting for mom and dad to search for me. I swear I spend so much time just climbing that tree that I'm going crazy."
"Well," Jack said, at a loss for words. "When your parents aren't able to be there for you, I will be. I promise."
"You mean that?" Alex replied, excited yet nervous about finally getting close to someone besides his brother Tom.
"Of course I do, Alex." Somehow, by this point, the boys' faces were only inches apart, deep brown eyes staring into each other. "I'm nervous," Alex said under his breath, and Jack almost didn't hear anything. "Don't be," Jack whispered before softly brushing his lips against Alex's, who gladly returned the kiss. It only lasted for a few seconds, but butterflies quickly grew in each of the boys' stomachs, and maybe this was going to be more than just a friendship.
"Alex, there's one more thing I need to tell you..." Jack trailed off, earning just a nod in reply from Alex. "For months I have been planning to end my life, I just...I can't do this anymore. I can't get close to people without them walking away from me, or sticking around purely for their own entertainment by hurting me. I can't do anything right in general, nobody cares about me, I'm just a mess."
"What day, Jack?" Was Alex's only reply.
"April 30th," Jack informed Alex quietly.
Today was April 23, giving Jack just another week. Alex couldn't have that. He couldn't just meet someone, get close to them, and lose them before he even got the chance to get closer.
"Please, just hold on till May." Alex whispered.