Kiss Me Tenderly

It was nice getting used to waking up next to a warm body, it really was.
From the moment I woke up in the morning to the second I went to bed at night, my thoughts were suffused with him. Having him here, in my arms, just made it all the better.
I watched him sleep for a while, fist under his cheek, lips slightly parted, legs tangled in mine. I tried to imagine what dreams were floating behind his eyelashes, traced patterns onto his shoulder that had three freckles in a little triangle on it. I wished we could stay like this forever, Alex tucked in my embrace, safe from the world, cocooned in our little swath of white where I could protect him.
Unfortunately, not all wishes come true.
It all started going to shit when Alex finally left the house. He and Owen went home to their apartment, only to find that a tree next door had been weighed down with snow was sent crashing through their living room, letting snow pour in through the hole in the wall. They came straight back to my house. The girls and Owen were thrilled that Alex and Owen were moving in - yay permanent play mates!- and so was I. I confess to having a monstrous addiction to the guy, who wouldn’t? Secretly, I was glad that Alex was at my house when the storm started. I shudder to think of what would have happened if he and Owen were in the house when that had happened.
Once Alex got back to work, the harassment from Nick just got worse and worse. At first, it was just texts and calls, flirty, harmless. But they quickly progressed to more threatening, more sinister in their content. Dead flowers started showing up at Alex’s desk, a single cigarette finding it’s way in the arrangements. Every. Time.
I was getting real sick of Nick’s shit and Alex could tell.
They just kept coming, in more frequent intervals.
When Nick sent another picture of his dick in some guys ass, blood dripping down the unknown’s shoulder blades, with the message ‘Wish you were here..’, I fucking lost it. I stormed upstairs to our my room, my throat closing off in rage. I paced the room, a caged tiger threatening to burst out of my chest, the salt and copper lacing my tongue, my arms shaking uncontrollably. After pacing the room with a few quick strides, I turned and punched a hole into the wall. I slumped down, my head pressed against the wall, tears falling down my cheeks.
Why, God, why me? Why can’t I protect the ones I love? I couldn’t protect Ven properly, don’t take Alex away from me too. I’m so fucking weak.
My bedroom door creaked open.
“Jack? Are you okay?” Alex’s socked feet padded to my side, collapsing next to me without a second thought. I reached for him, needing to feel Alex safe, breathing, warm and alive in my arms. He accepted the embrace, crawling into my lap. We sat in silence, I trying to keep control of my breathing, Alex stroking my collarbone with his thumb to keep me calm. I took a few deep, gulping breaths, touching a finger under his chin to tilt it up. I crushed our lips together, kissing him deeply, almost trying to reassure myself that by keeping him close, he would never be approached by that guy again.
When our lips finally stopped moving together, Alex asked me if I was okay again.
“No, I’m not okay! How can I be, when the man I lo-like so very much is being harassed by someone who hurt him, who scarred him, who just about killed him inside? I’m scared to death because I can’t protect you, can’t keep you safe. I couldn’t keep Ven alive, couldn’t keep her safe, couldn’t protect her. And now I can’t protect you and I’m a fucking failure as a boyfriend and I feel so fucking useless..”
Alex hushed me, held me tight to himself, whispering to me that I was perfect, that nothing was my fault, that he didn’t care if he was safe or not, so long as he had me. We stayed on the floor for a while, kissing, whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears.
We finally decided to go back downstairs where the kids were determined to build a life sized house of Legos. Alex and I laughed at the children’s antics and built our own room, only succeeding in finding just enough Legos to surround where we wanted our patch of plush carpet to be our room to make a small wall.
Afterwards, we sat around the kitchen table, eating mac and cheese quietly, the kids kicking each other under the table. The kids ended up with cheese on their faces and somehow in their hair, Alex ushering them off to the bathroom to get washed up before a nap, I gathering up the dishes to be washed. I grimaced at the flourescent orange residue on the plates, filling the sink with hot water in the hopes that it would soak off. I had just squirted a large amount of soap onto a sponge and was steeling myself to do the work that needed to be done when I heard a knock on my front door.
Dropping the sponge and drying my hands on the nearest rag, I frowned. Who in the world could that be? I wasn’t expecting anyone...
I opened the door, the chilly gust of wind rushing in.
But no one was there. I looked up and down the street but there was nothing. I made to move the door closed but a flash of paper caught my eye.
Someone had taped a letter to my door.
Peeling it off, I shut the door with my toe, locking it with one hand.
I tore the envelope open, withdrew a sheet of paper folded into thirds.
It said this in scrawly chicken scratch:
Dear Jack,
I know you fancy yourself Alex’s protector now. I know where you live. I want you to stay out of my way. Alex is mine and he belong’s no where near you, does not deserve to have another life on his hands. And if you ever tell anyone about the presents I’ve been sending Alex, I’m going to take something very close to you.
All my love,
Nick
And I was angry again. I was starting to build up a full head of rage when Alex walked back downstairs, water splattering his clothes but looking happier than ever. He froze when he saw my expression.
“You okay, babe?” Alex was worried. I didn’t need him to be worried. I needed to protect him.
“Nothing,” I lied through my teeth, the letter clasped safely behind my back.