Starcrossed

It wasn't a matter of their built sexual tension becoming too much to bear. Nor was it because she didn't want to because she was very aware of her animalistic needs that would be granted if she gave him the word. What so many wanted, celebrities and normal citizens alike, was literally in her hands- when had she put her hands on his chest? It was that haunting fear that she hadn't yet learned to shake. They could ravish eachother senseless tonight but the fear was much stronger than her burning desire.

The moment they should have inevitably shared their first, Makenzie simply buried her head in his chest between her trembling hands. She could feel his Star Trek physique through his shirt, firm and muscular beneath her touch. Against her ear drummed the rhythm of his heart, anticipating either romance or a second rejection. His hands moved from her hips to cradle her tightly, lovingly, in his arms. The young woman gave a heavy sigh after mentally cursing herself. She felt him shift against her, he was going to kiss the top of her head or something of the like. That couldn't happen. Once his lips met her skin, there would be no going back. Feeling as she did, this moment, her walls and willpower would undoubtedly crumble.

Then there was the fact that they didn't have much time left together. Time!

"What time is it?" she asked in a panic, tearing herself away from him just far enough to look him in the face.

"What?"

"The time? I'm supposed to be back by ten," she anxiously rambled.

"It's only half past eight. Calm down," he smirked, thinking her completely adorable at present. "We still have a little while." She took him by the hand then casually lead him to the sofa. That was when he knew her answer to his unasked question. "Why ten?" They sat closely together yet didn't touch.

A mixture of pride and mischief grew on her glowing face before she grinned, "I might have played sick today."

"Makenzie Daniels," Benedict said her name playfully cross.

"The group went to The Globe tonight. I've already seen the play and the theatre so there was much more incentive to sneak off. Never been to a Sherlock filming before."

"You cheeky little thing," he mused with that special expression plastered across his face. Was is amusement? Admiration, perhaps? Or had this already turned into something more?

Benedict threw his arm over the backrest, begging to hold her as they talked. It took her a few seconds but she couldn’t deny the opportunity in the end. If she didn't allow herself a few experiences on this magical trip, she knew she would hate herself for it. Makenzie released a little nervous chuckle while moving herself as close to him as possible. His arm wrapped around her as his shoulder suddenly became occupied. In return, he gently rested his own mop of curls atop her head. They found the sweetest contentment in those silent minutes.

"Tell me," she stated more than asked with a pause. The rumble in his hum of a reply made her smile. "What do you want in life? You asked me that first night but you never gave your own answer." A pause. "I know what you've said in your interviews in the past: a wife, kids, to act until you die and such. But openly and honestly, what do you want?"

Tightening his hold on her he released a heavy breath, still deep in thought. She patiently waited, wondering how far he would let her in, still a stranger to him in more ways than not.

"I want… a wife, yes. But more than that- someone who challenges and completes me a bit more every day. Someone who can accept both the cotton tee shirts and the red carpet affairs alike.

Intelligent with an appreciation for the arts yet sound in logic and comfortable with who they are. I want children, tiny beings that have her eyes and my love for adventure. Someday I'll have a home, not just posh houses in various parts of the world. A home, a single place where I can feel… A place I can… A place to be-"

"Just Ben," she whispered beneath him, her breath against his neck making the hair on his arms raise.

"Just Ben," he repeated. How could she possibly know? Why did she remind him so much of the woman he longed to meet in the future? "Oh, Makenzie Daniels," he began; she could hear the smile on his face without actually seeing it. "I wish I could take you with me everywhere in these months to come, show you the world. I'll only be in London a few days, or nights rather, and abroad the rest of the summer."

"Can you tell me where without getting into trouble?"

"You… want to hear about it?" He was surprised at her inquiry of his other side, the part of him that didn't seem to impress this clever beauty.

She moved in his arms until they were looking at one another then replied, "Of course! You have such an exciting life. So many opportunities and everyone loves you. England, America, and beyond."

"Yes," he agreed in a pitch that faded to a low note, less excited. Makenzie immediately noticed his sudden lack of enthusiasm and asked with those big sparkling eyes. "Come here," he whispered in that shy manner from earlier.

Benedict moved her around him until her head rested in his lap. He could feel the trust already built between them as she silently followed his lead. As he began to play with her hair, their eyes locked and he took a deep breath.

"Most of April will be filming for Sherlock, you'll love what Steven, Mark, and Sue have done- it's brilliant! May will be mostly Star Trek related. We'll have several international opening nights and I'll finally be able to talk about my character- bloody secrets. I expect to see you when I'm in London for that- May second. Talk shows, radio, and a few public appearances the rest of the month. I'm a guest on Top Gear then July."

"You in a fast automobile? Don't think I'll be able to concentrate the rest of that night," she winked from his lap, almost lost in the way his fingers felt running through her hair as he so gently spoke to her.

His warm chuckle soothed her all the more before he continued, "Top Gear airs then I leave for Japan the next day. They expressed interest in hosting my birthday week along with more Trek events there- apparently they've named me the celebrity face of Japan for this year. Brushing up on Japanese culture as soon as filming will allow. Emmys fall in July, will be going there. And after the Trek business, The Fifth Estate and Twelve Years A Slave promotions will begin. The next big affair will be the Toronto film festival in September."

"No rest for the weary," Makenzie quoted with a new hint of sadness in her voice. "You'll be keeping busy, more than busy, yet… you'll be all alone. Alone in hundreds of crowds.

His hand paused in her hair. A new expression filled his face, more nervous than before. Ben's hand moved to her cheek, so soft and gentle. Little did he know she could feel his raised pulse from his touch.

"Unless you come with me," he finally managed to whisper. "Not to everything, of course. You'll be busy job hunting and preparing for your first year of employment. But…" Another hesitation. "You could join me for some events. Or at least be there before or after if you'd rather not be in the circus," he teased with a shy forced chuckle.

Makenzie rose from his lap to stare at him a while. He was offering her more than she deserved, above and beyond anything she could begin to process. What would traveling with him be like? Surely they would be noticed together in time and the outrageous sorts of questions he did so well in avoiding would come in masses.

"Do I have to answer-"

"Whenever you'd like," he assured with a grin. "I'm glad you're taking the time to think it over. Very reasonable."

Their conversation moved to something of a light nature until the clock on the wall showed half past nine. Makenzie's eyes moved from the clock to the wonderful blue and green mixture she was already so familiar with. There was something special in his eyes, something she had somehow known would be there all along.

"Stay with me tonight," he asked with her hand in his. "I promise to be on my best behavior, my word as a gentleman."

"Your word as a gentleman," she repeated with a blush. Did men still say such things? This one did, yet she had already made up her mind.

"I can drop you off in the morning or give Mr. Thick a note," he smiled, doing his best to be charming, never knowing how much the real life Disney prince he already was.

"I can't. We have a busy day tomorrow and I've already been apart from poor Sophie too long." The hope in his eyes faded though his pleasant forced expression remained. Moving her hand from his to stroke his cheek as he had done to her, Makenzie concluded, "But we'll see eachother at least once more, yeah? We still have tomorrow and Friday night."

"When do you leave London?"

"Early Saturday morning." The fact had suddenly become more bitter than before.

"And there's no way I can talk you into staying an extra few days? I could get you back without any problems."

"I can't. They frown when students begin missing classes late in the term, especially so close to graduation." Her rational arguments visibly turned sentimental, the way her bright eyes dimmed and her perfect upturned lips became a thin straight line. "Besides, we would be wasting our summer away in a losing game." Benedict started to say something but she didn't allow a single word. "I could travel the world with you, Ben-be there when you fell asleep and when you woke up from one busy day to the next-but what would happen after the thrill of the summer? I need to put my education to good use, just as you're doing. We'd eventually fall into something that resembled love but it would have to end in August. Surly you know that. We couldn't keep pretending. Eventually, we'd have to accept the fact that our lives could never-"

"I know." The pain in his voice didn't hurt nearly as much as the loneliness and longing on his face.

If she knew how badly he was fighting with himself about kissing her forehead, she would have turned ridged beside him. She was such the perfect combination of things he wanted. He could easily imagine himself becoming protective-greedy even-over her. If he allowed himself to fall tonight, he would probably regret it. She was right in all aspects, unfortunately. Their lives would never work together. When most women would have taken the rare chance to be taken care of by a celebrity, Makenzie Daniels saw so much more. Ben didn't want to analyze the situation any further, at least not with her nearby. The truth was simple. The truth hurt. Silent seconds passed until they could look one another in the eyes once more.

"We need to get you back," he whispered.

---

Makenzie was staring out their window when Sophie danced in, more happy to be back at the hotel than she was at any given point of the play. The excited best friend was too curious too notice her friend's melancholy mood.

"Tell me everything! How was setlock? Did he kiss you? Are the two of you seeing eachother tomorrow? Oh, I bet it's all so romantic. Well come on, what are you mucking about for? Spill!"

Makenzie turned her attention from the scenic London view to the bubbly blonde steps away. Only then did Sophie see the lines of damp skin on Makenzie's face.

"What he do to you? I swear I'll-"

"No, it was nothing like that," Makenzie smiled. What a friend she had in Sophie. "He offered me so much tonight. And today was… Oh, I wish you would have been there. Met everyone! Even nicked this for you." She handed her fellow fangirl a Sherlock glossy photo with everyone's signature. But her quiet voice was too sad to match the fantastic tale she was telling. "We went to Mark's place after filming. It was already late so we just sat on the sofa and talked for a few hours."

"You were at Mark Gatiss' company home and you just 'sat on the sofa and talked'? That's it?"

Makenzie and Sophie sat together on the nearest bed.

"Yes, we almost kissed. It was surreal to the extreme. He was perfect and shared such private information about the cliché celebrity hopes and desires. Then he offered me the chance to travel with him this summer. Me, Sophie! Could you imagine? Me traveling the world with Benedict Cumberbatch?" The very idea was ridiculous. And wonderful. Too wonderful. "I declined. There's just no way we could-" What was the wording she wanted to use? English majors always had words yet she couldn't find a single one deemed appropriate for how she felt. "We had an incredible time together this week, I owe all of it to you, but we could never take anything beyond this week. It would be mad."

"Are you saying that because you genuinely don't want it or are you saying all this because you're afraid of having something like this at your fingertips?"

"That's my dilemma, now isn't it?"