Starcrossed

It had been a very long, mostly quiet night. Benedict held Makenzie a little tighter than his already safe hold throughout the night. She felt slightly relieved for him to know but a new sting came with the way he looked at her now. The blissful joy she had fought so desperately to keep in his life had been shattered. Rest came much sooner for her than for him that night. In the early morning hours, he still found himself watching her sleep. How many more weeks did he have to watch her sleep? To watch her smile? To feel her love? Whatever unearthly love he had imagine for himself had been multiplied by his angel. She was more than he had dreamt, more than he deserved, and much more than he could afford to lose. Kenzie had told him not to but he had to do something. But what?

When sunlight filtered through the curtains, he gave up all hope of sleep. His schedule would be busy next week. Now wasn't the time to skip out on sleep. Then again, everything had just changed. This girl was forever changing the plans he made. That was fine with him. She could change whatever she liked, as long as she stayed.

He needed to stretch his legs and clear his mind a while. She couldn't see him looking tired. Ben felt it his personal responsibility to be strong for her now. He also promised himself not to let her wake up alone. He'd make them some tea, maybe some breakfast, then wake her up. It was only seven now. The house was kept silent as his mind continued to race. Personal fears. Possible solutions. Some sort of plan as to juggle his two lives in a new way- his Hollywood responsibilities wouldn't go away because of this. His fans and the press certainly couldn't find out. The reasoning behind her wanting to keep their relationship a secret was becoming more clear to him by the hour. But back to the pleasant distraction of breakfast.

Eggs. He suddenly remembered one of the first times they breakfast together. It seemed so long ago. Kenzie had made a silly little joke- the one everyone used when eating breakfast with him.

"Would you like some eggs benedict?" He wasn't sure where she put the comma, if there was one. Was the B his name or the type of egg?

In a flat voice he had replied, "Are you asking me if I would like eggs or if I want eggs benedict?"

"Oh," she gasped, those soft small hands covering her face. "I didn't mean to… I'm terribly sorry."

He smiled now while pulling unused skillets and pans out from cabinets. How perfect she had always been for him. Even those first few days he knew she was something special. With each cooking task came a new memory. Ben hadn't realized how many memories they had made simply cooking breakfast but apparently there were more than he thought.

A sudden knock at the door tore him from his memories of their happy days together. His pulse raised at the thought of bloody reporters finding out where he lived. If just one of them saw Makenzie… The man's blood boiled at the thought. One reporter had the power to destroy them both- alright, not them but the life they had created together. A quick glance at the microwave clock told him it was still only eight o'clock. It took him all of five paces up the hall to decide what he wanted to say to the bugger knocking. Ben took a breath as he opened the door, prepared to be forceful, but was shocked into silence instead.

"Hello," she practically squeaked, almost shy in his presence.

"Olivia," he sighed. All fears of prowling media were instantly replaced with irritation when she leaned in to kiss his cheek; her attempts were dodged as Ben gave her a quick indifferent side hug instead. "What are you doing here?" It was difficult to be polite for the moment but he did his very best.

"It's Sunday morning. You know how I love Sunday morning visits."

Something was off about her. She was always nice but this wasn't the usual Olivia visit. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen her since the beginning of last summer- even that was by chance. Or was it?

"Yes but… It's seven thirty in the morning... in California." He hid most of his aggravation and made it look as if he was simply confused. "How did you even know I was here?" She had been here once before but another possible connection ran through his tired mind. "Did mother tell you?"

"No, I'm afraid I haven't heard from her in weeks." It was said as if the woman had actually put some thought into missing his dear mum. "Someone else told me you were in town. A common mate of ours." Then a more rational explanation came to him.

"Amanda. Amanda from the shop in London," he half groaned.

"You know, I never trusted her around you. Funny thing though, that might be my new favorite thing about her."

"What do you want, Olivia?" Now his true emotions were starting to shine through.

"I was in town. Heard that you were in town. It's been too long, really. Just needed to see a friendly face from home, I suppose."

She had always been good at playing dumb when it was in her advantage. But not today. He was in no mood to be toyed with by anyone today- least of all an old ex that insisted on ruining whatever friendship was still intact.

"Well it was nice seeing you but you should really be on your way. I'm preparing to leave myself. Can't be late," he lied, hoping enough time had gone by to fool her.

"Liar. You're wearing sleep pants; if you were leaving you'd have gotten dressed first thing. And your hair isn't even done, not a bit of product. Something smells good in there and-"

"Please leave," he gently begged. "Today really isn't the day for this."

"Let me in and we can have a chat. I did come all this way."

"Uninvited… Respectively." Being polite yet cross was becoming quite impossible.

"What? Are you hiding some little American thing in there?"

She didn't expect Ben to stand a few inches taller and clench his jaw. His eyes changed as well, from tired to protective. Olivia remembered being the one he was protecting. Never did she expect to find herself on the other end of the icy stare.

"Oh, you're little teacher mate is in there, isn't she?" Her tone had changed to one of acceptance. She had made the connection one sassy comment too late and now he was completely finished with the conversation. "I didn't mean to-"

"Please. We can still be mates if you leave right now."

His words hurt her more than she anticipated. The man was clearly prepared to say anything to get her to leave. Ben was still being nice but she knew that look too, the one where he was only acting to be friendly and civil for the other person's sake. Even that only last so long before he became rude, a rare occurrence.

"You love her," Olivia breathed. The gossipy shop girl had told her as much but the ex simply wouldn't believe it until she saw with her own eyes. And her proof was standing right before her. Instead of a personalized answer, Ben only gave a single nod. "And you've done rather well at hiding her from the circus." That was one of their words; what they called the media game when he first became a telly star. What a few years could do.

"It's different now that-" He didn't need to sound arrogant right now.

"Now that everyone in the world is watching you?" She finished with a small grin, a ray of pride shining from her sad eyes. "Yeah. It must be a different world than when we were-"

Olivia chewed her lip from nerves and looked away as if she were about to tear up. Ben couldn't quite tell if it was her own acting skill being put to use or if she was genuinely upset. She was rarely one for dramatics but when she did, it always appeared genuine.

"She's young, yeah?" The woman finally managed with misty bothered eyes.

Ah, there was the girl he knew. Benedict had spent so many years building the young, insecure Olivia up, trying to make her accept how special she was- is. She had always been so hard on herself and seldom had the encouragement she needed before they got together. For a moment, he wondered who built her up these days. Or did she have anyone? Surely the classy, spunky, dreamer had someone to hold her on lonely nights. But he couldn't be there for her as anything more than an acquaintance. Not that he didn't care for her or still wonder what she was up to every now and then; he just knew their old pattern too well- separate, then fall back into the old routines as friends only to become a couple again. The time for all that had passed. They had their time. Now he was a different man. And Makenzie was the only one for him.

"She's an adult," Ben sighed, wishing the conversation would take another turn.

"Barely." It was snickered, as if some kind of private joke shared with someone else. "I'm sure she's great but… honestly Benedict. She's a baby. You can't be serious about her." The way he turned his gaze, that jaw clenching again in silent anger. His body language told her everything she needed to know- some things about a person never changed. "Oh."

His eyes darted back towards her, pleading her to drop the issue and walk away with grace. But that wasn't the woman he fell in love with so long ago. That wasn't the stubborn woman he had spent all hours of various nights fighting with only to make it up with sharp inhales and wandering hands.

"It's really none of your business you know," he stated, calm and still more kind than harsh.

"I just thought-"

"I'm completely in love with her." There. It was finally said. Perhaps being slightly cruel would force her to leave. She was usually too prideful to willingly let him see her cry. Then again, people changed. "She's everything to me and it's very serious... Anything more you need to know?"

His ex took a few deep breaths before a single tear formed in each eye.

"Is she old enough to know the complexities of-"

"Olivia, leave" Benedict lightly growled, his hand finding the door behind him.

"Fine. But I just-"

"If you, or Amanda, say a single word about her to anyone, I will know it was one of you then ruin you both. If friendship is truly what you want, then leave us be. It's not the typical celebrity relationship and I've gone to extraordinary lengths to make it anything but. The media, here and back home, know nothing about her. Keep it that way." He was almost all the way inside when he turned back around to find her already walking away, possibly crying. "And Olivia, stop trying to be part of the family. It was years ago. Time to move on."

With that, she gave a tearful nod then walked to her car. Ben almost slammed the door shut but remembered his sleeping angel. It took only a few steps for him to remember the abandoned breakfast. Everything had gone cold- no thanks to his rude emotional ex. He cursed under his breath while leaning against the counter. Shaky hands rubbed his face a few times before light footsteps were heard coming down the hall. Instead of the pleasant sight of the woman he loved, his blood froze in his veins.

"Morning," she nearly whispered, fully dressed with luggage at her feet. Her motives couldn't have been more clear. How much had she heard?

"Kenz," he breathed.

"Did you just have company?"

Her face held minimal curiosity, more pain and sorrow than anything. His brave Makenzie looked small and unsure of herself, the confident brave girl from last night somewhere deep inside but out of sight. Those eyes he adored were lacking the light that kept him going most days.

"I tried to run him off as soon as possible."

"Media?"

"Yes," he lied. Immediately, he regretted doing so. After what they had just gone through last night, the very last thing he needed to do was lie- even if only to protect her. "No."

"Olivia?"

"How did you-"

"I used to keep a bit of tabs on you, you know. Fangirl stuff," she tried to smile but her usual playful laugh was replaced with a single brief note.

Benedict started walking towards her before she held out a hand in protest.

"I'm catching the next flight back to London," Kenzie announced in a painful voice that trembled enough to make his heart ache.

"Why? Please stay."

"Because I need to think a few things over." She turned as if she were going to leave that minute. Benedict wasted no time jogging towards her. "It's only going to get more complicated from here," his angel finally began to cry.

"I don't care. Let hell and all its demons come against us. I'm not leaving you or letting you go."

"I don't think that's entirely your decision."

"What? So push me away again? Go back to being separated and miserable for another few months until one of us gives in again? Because that's worked so well the first two times."

"Is that what you think I did before?"

"No, that's what you did in fact."

"I was trying to protect myself," she shouted in emotional frustration. "You have no idea what it was like being in my position, still being in my position. I'm going to hold you back each day we continue this. People's careers have ended for similar reasons. Besides, girlfriend with cancer is bound to make the tabloids sooner or later."

"Then why not make it fiancé with cancer?" He gently pulled her arm this time when she tried to walk away. It was clearly time for a new course of action. "I can't go on knowing that you're…"

"Dying a little more each day?"

"I know you have your family but," Ben took her trembling hands in his own. "I want to be there. I need to be there for you. You are my life now, Makenzie Daniels. I wouldn't sleep a single night not knowing how you were or what you were doing. If I couldn't see that face again… Knowing that you are still here and not being able to spend precious time with you. If we only have a year or two left, why not-"

"I love you," she interrupted with a steady stream of tears flowing down her red face. Perhaps he had won at last. "But I love you too much to see what comes next. I love you too much to let everything you've worked your entire life for fade to one perfect year." Kenzie removed her hand from his with a sniff. "Things are about to change. Maybe it would be simpler if we said our goodbyes now, before the bad gets worse. By the time I actually... leave, you'll already be over-"

"Listen to yourself," he shouted with passion. "You're the one I want to marry. You're the only one I've felt this way about."

His own tears slipped from his already bloodshot eyes. This really was too much for one man to endure in a twenty-four hour period. How did everything go so wrong so soon? Perhaps that's what he got for not falling head over heels sooner and becoming an international success instead.

"We'll talk again soon," she whispered, her heart and mind obviously at nothing short of war. "Don't lose mum's ring, please."

He was in shock. Nothing he thought of saying would be enough, would be what she needed to hear. What was a man to do? They weren't breaking up, not yet. And he wasn't going to let that happen. She needed a few days so he was going to give them to her. That's what you did when you loved someone as much as he loved her. Sacrifice. Giving and taking. Doing what felt wrong if only to make them understand how deep love truly ran. The click of the door echoed, a sound that moved him from his spot.

Ben got outside in just enough time to see her taxi drive away. He stood from the door as the yellow cab drove out of sight, his entire existence looking at him from the backseat.

---

"And you're meeting me there, yeah?"

"Don't worry. I won't let you be alone for this, Kenz," Sophie promised over the phone.

"The appointment is in thirty minutes. Just ask for me and they'll bring you to me."

"Alright. Hang up and drive, you nutter," her best friend giggled. "And Kenzie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, darling. Whatever happens here on out, you're going to be smashing, love. Absolutely smashing."

"Even if I lose all my hair and wit?"

"You'll be the next Anne Hathaway," Sophie announced with an obvious grin.

"Love you. See you soon!"

"Later."

Twenty minutes later, Makenzie sat in a hospital room with light blue walls- a calming color for freaked out and nervous cancer patients. Where was Sophie? She had promised to be there ten bloody minutes ago. It would be completely impossible for her to go through all this alone. If Sophie were here, she'd be able to keep calm. Being alone had become a new fear almost overnight- one she had caused herself. As if her thoughts had been wished aloud, she heard the handle of the door turn.

She was terribly relieved that Sophie had arrived until the door was completely open. Her breath caught in her throat as unexpected tears threatened to show her weakness. The figure in the doorway entered the room, closing the door once more. Her ragged breathing calmed as he stood before her- plain clothes, no hat, and the exact hopeful expression she needed more than anything else in the world right now.

"You," she whispered, heart thudding in her chest. "Where's Soph?"

"She called and told me that I needed to be here." He paused, an almost smile playing on his perfect lips. "She knew that if I came, you'd let yourself actually care what was happening... You wouldn't have to fake a smile." He was still too cautious to touch her but he desperately wanted to. It had been almost a week since his skin had touched hers.

"Well, she should have told me," Makenzie replied, more stern and aggravated than before. Now that the initial shock had worn off, she was going back to her old act of indifference. Her first instincts were to push him away, keep a safe emotional distance between them.

They sat in silence, Benedict finding the courage to sit beside her. The seconds seemed longer because of their distance from eachother. Perhaps another person of Makenzie's small size could fit between them. He could tell that she was more nervous than she was letting on. His brave girl. His perfect angel. The woman he loved with his entire heart. She surprised him two minutes later when her hand slowly made his way to his then grabbed it.

Their eyes met in a moment of honesty, each terrified party's thoughts practically written all over their face. Kenz glanced down at their intertwined fingers before her gaze returned to his. If she had ever felt loved, truly loved, it was that moment.

"Want to know a secret?" It was almost too soft to even be a whisper. Ben moved closer to her then pressed his forehead to hers as reply. "I'm really scared." His free hand lightly caressed her cheek, tracing the lines he had missed for seven long agonizing days. "Want to know something else?" Her tone was lighter with just a hint of amusement. Again, he remained silent and answered with curious eyes full of love. "I'm glad you're here." Her small grin was enough to let him know precisely where they stood with one another. Together.

Benedict kissed her forehead, the only assurance he could promise being his never ending support and love. The man soon after wrapped an arm around his girlfriend and pulled her closer into his chest. This was how the doctor found them five minutes later. A desperate man and his nervous girlfriend waiting for the dreaded details of the hellish months to come.