Status: Oneshot
When I Realized I Was in Love (I Was Drunk)
When I Realized
I looked at myself in the mirror according to my adoptive father, Father Andrews, I had my mothers grey eyes, her charming smile and great cheek bones. He said that I was a very special girl and that I should stay good and help those in need, that I was coveted in many ways.
I brushed through my short blonde hair as I thought of my life with the Winchester's, it was all but not boring, I had lost count on how many supernatural things we had hunted and killed since their father had rescued me from a vampire's nest when I was little girl. I stayed with them since my parent's had left me at a church when I was born.
I got adopted by the priest and his wife, they gave me the Name Ivanna.
I do not remember much of the Andrew's family but John knew them and he told me the whole story why they had been killed. Short version was that Demons killed them because they where really good people.
-
After John passed it was hard, I was about to leave the boys for a normal life when Uriel and Castiel where introduced.
I was very curious about Castiel, he had these intense dark blue eyes that seamed to pierce my soul. I could not stop looking at him whenever he was around and I think Uriel noticed, because he tried to get rid of me many times. He didn't try to kill me or anything but every time I got hurt he suggested to the boys that they should leave me somewhere and never return for me. Luckily for methey never did.
Castiel haunted me, all I could think of at times was how much I wanted to just kiss him. I had to focus all my energy sometimes on not throwing myself at him. He was an angel, forbidden fruit and that made me want him even more.
I tried to refocus my frustration and lusting (with the lack of better a word), I tried channeling Dean's behavior with women but failed miserably. I didn't want the other men I used as a distraction, I wanted Castiel.
A few nights I had even woken up feeling that someone was watching me but looking through the room I only saw the boys (if I was sharing rooms with them).
-
One time when I was staying in my own room I woke up to the same feeling that someone was there, this time the first thing I saw was the beautiful face of Castiel.
”Cass?” I asked groggily.
”Yes it is me” Cass said.
I sat up and put a stand of hair behind my ear.
”What are you doing here?” I asked.
Cass didn't say a word he just looked deep into my eyes, then he leaned closer as if to kiss me but before our lips could touch he disappeared.
I gasped when I saw Uriel standing in the corner looking at me.
”You should not dream dreams like this” He walked up to me and put two of his fingers on my head.
Waking up that morning was confusing, The dream or whatever it was haunted me. It felt so real, from that day I knew that some feelings for Castiel lived inside of me but I tried to ignore them the best that I could.
-
The apocalypse had begun, things where going to hell and Castiel was nowhere to be found.
Dean, Sam and I where going to drive through Minnesota when we were attacked by demons, oddly enough we got saved by some townspeople in Blue Earth. We followed them back to the town only to discover that a prophet lived there a Girl named Leah Gideon.
We were at the local bar after talking to the priest, Sam was trying to get hold of Castiel whilst I was scolding Dean for the comment he had made to the Priest's daughter.
”Did you see the look he gave you?” I said loudly over the music.
”Yeah I did, no big deal” Dean replied.
”No big deal?” I raised by eyebrows at him ”Dean, you don't want to piss this priest off! He was packing”
”I know, I know” Dean said calmly.
”Dick” I mouthed to him but he just smiled back, How annoying.
Sam came back to the table with two beers, one for him and Dean.
Dean asked if he had gotten a hold of Cass, Sam wasn't sure but I left him a message. Did Castiel even know how to get to the voicemail? I thought whilst the boys discussed different theories.
Knowing that the end of the world was only a month or two away scared me, there where so many things I still wanted to do.
I wanted to quit this hunting thing, find a man, get married, have kids and just lead a normal life.
Church bells started chiming and people started to exit the bar.
Sam asked Paul (the bartender) what was going on, seamed like Leah had an vision.
Gideon talked to the people that had gathered in the church ”Three miles off Talmage Road”
He was interrupted by Leah, she whispered something in his ear ”Five miles, the demons gathered. I don't know how many, but a lot.”
He dismissed Leah and she sat down in the front row of the church.
He asked who would join him to go kill them, a man whom I later identified as Rob (one of the men who saved us), the bartender Paul and a young boy named Dylan (who happened to be Rob's son)
Of course Dean and Sam where going to, I intended to go with also.
Father Gideon asked us all to say a prayer for our safe return.
When we were about to leave Gideon stopped us. ”I think that you should stay behind Miss”
”Why?” I questioned.
”Killing demons is not something a woman should be doing” he said.
”But you said everyone helps” I said not believing this.
”Yes but the women don't usually come along for an hunt” He said.
Dean, seeing that I was about to start up some trouble cut in ”Maybe you should stay behind Anna”
I gave him a death glare.
”We need to get a hold of Cass, ASAP” He said.
”Fine” I said through gritted teeth and muttered a few curse words at Dean.
So all I could do was watch as the Impala drove away.
”They will be fine” a overly sweet voice said behind me.
I turned to see Leah standing a few feet behind me.
”Yeah, I know they will be” I said and thought of all the punishment I was going to release on Dean once he got back.
But that did not happen, the young boy Dylan had been killed before getting into the car with Dean and Sam.
The funeral was the same day and when we were going to give our condolences to his family his mother Jane looked at Dean and blamed him for Dylan's death. Rob held her and they walked inside.
Their pain spoke to me and brought back one of the harder things I had ever done.
-
”There must be a way to send them away” I said worrying about what was going to go down in the next couple of hours.
”Well I can't find anything” Sam said frustrated and threw the book back on the table, it landed with a lout thud.
”There is a way” Cass's voice cam out of nowhere as he had appeared in his special way.
”Cass you scared me” I said.
”Did you say that there's a way to send your kind to hell?” Dean asked looking surprised.
”No, not to hell but away” Cass said.
”Then show us” Dean demanded.
Cass showed us how to draw it, he told us that it had to be done in blood.
An hour later it was time, we were in an abandoned warehouse.
”If you must use the sigil, but only if you see no other way out” Cass said.
”Why?” I asked before anyone else could.
Cass turned to look at me ”It will banish all Angels, including me”.
”Then we wont use it, who knows what will happen to you” I said.
”If it comes to it you have to, no matter what happens to me.” Cass paused ”Dean, Sam and you are what matters now”
”I won't do it” I said stubbornly.
They didn't have time to argue with me as Zachariah, Uriel and another angel appeared and started fighting.
Zach was trying to beat up Dean, Uriel had his hands full with Sam and the other had to face Castiel. At first I joined in on Sam's fight but Uriel was to strong for me and I was sent flying into a wall. This distracted the boys and the angels got the upper hand, they were now beating Sam, Dean and Castiel up.
I the realized what I had to do, I pulled out my knife and pressed the blade lightly against my wrist dark red liquid started dripping.
Teary eyed I painted the angel banishing sigil on the wall, quickly once I was done I bandaged p my wrist so that I wouldn't bleed out.
I whistled to get the attention ”Hey Boys”
They stopped to look at me.
”I'm sorry” I mouthed to Cass, he nodded and ensured me that he was ok with this.
Before anyone could stop me I put my bloody hand on the sigil, the air was filled with their screams as the angels where practically ripped away.
I fell to the floor crying, I had just saved myself, Dean and Sam but at what price?
I felt empty inside,We didn't know where Cass had been banished to or if he'd be able to come back.
Luckily a few days later he was back, I just wanted to run up to him and fall into his arms...
-
During the funeral Leah had another vision, she said that Dylan would be resurrected on the judgment day. She also forbid drinking, gambling and premarital sex.
As we walked out I joked with Dean ”No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex. Dean, They outlawed 90 percent of your personality.” I paused ”You'll have to marry and divorce many women now”.
Sam laughed.
”Well, whatever. When in Rome” Dean shrugged, He was being oddly calm with this.
”So you're cool with it?” Sam asked.
”I'm not cool with this. Look, I'm not a prophet. We're not locals.” He paused ”It's not my call”
He said that he would catch up with us and left to go back inside the church. Me and Sam went back to the bar where we found it empty. Paul offered us some shots and we talked to him for a while about god, demons and the apocalypse.
The curfew came closer and we had to go to our motel where we found a very different Dean, it was like he had given up.
He and Sam got into a argument about this, I couldn't believe this.
”We can't give up” I shouted after Dean as he walked out to clear his head.
”Let's hit the books” Sam said and pulled out a book from his bag, I nodded and did the same.
For fifteen long minuted we where both quiet as mice, that was odd for me because the only time I could be quiet like that was when my or someone's life was in danger.
We heard a thump as Cass arrived ”I got your message”
His voice was different, he was slurring a little. He was also holing on to the door as if it was the only way he could keep himself upright.
Both sam and i let out a sigh of relief, Cass had scared the shit out of us.
”It was long, your message. And I find the sound of your voice grating” he said to Sam. Sam looked at me, he was wondering what was wrong with Cass. I shook my head and looked at him then back to Cass
”What's wrong with you” I asked a bit worried.
Cass was looking around but not really looking, he swayed a little apparently is was difficult for him to keep his balance. 'Was he... Drunk?!'
As if Sam had read my mind he asked ”Are you... Drunk?”
”No” Cass said at first, I could now see his face and it was not as tense as it used to be. He swayed a bit too much forward and almost fell but he caught a hold of the metal divider thing between the door and room ”Yes” he then admitted.
”What the hell happened to you?” I asked walking closer to him.
”I found a liquor store” He said and closed his eyer leaning his head against the divider.
”And?” I asked disapprovingly.
”I drank it” he spat and opened his eyes to look at me.
I was only a few inches away from him and I cold smell the alcohol on his breath.
”Why did you call me” He asked as he pushed past me to get to Sam.
He was about to topple over again but Sam put up his hands to catch him if he'd fall.
”Woah, there you go, easy.” Sam said and looked at Cass ”Are you okay?”
I moved closer to them, Cass slowly leaned closer to Sam. It looked like he was going to kiss him at first, if Sam would've been a girl I though he just might. I felt a flicker of jealousy, I wanted to be in Sam's position now.
”Don't ask stupid questions” Cass said to Sam.
Cass leaned against the desk and said ”Tell me what you need.”
Sam started ”Well, There's been these demon attacks. Massive.”
”On the edge of town, We can't figure out why” I said.
Cass only seamed interested in what Sam had to say now because he didn't even look at me when I spoke.
”Any sign of angels?” Cass asked still only looking at Sam.
O how I wanted him to look at me, it felt like I was invisible to him.
”Sort of, they've been speaking to this prophet.” Sam said.
”Who?” Cass asked.
”This girl..” Sam didn't get to finish the sentence
”Leah Gideon” I tried to get Cass's attention, I needed him to look at me.
”She's not a prophet” Cass said staring blankly forward.
”I'm pretty sure she is. The visions, headaches the whole package.” Sam said trying to convince Cass.
”The names of all the prophets, they're seared into my brain.” He said looking up at the ceiling and then turning back to Sam ”Leah Gideon is not one of them”
”Then what is she?” Sam asked.
”I do not know” Cass said.
”I'd better go look for Dean” Sam said and motioned to the door.
I walked with him and he stopped outside ”I'll go look, cold you stay and look after Cass?” he asked.
”Yeah sure, I was left behind earlier today why not stay here and babysit the bender bad-ass angel.” I said angrily.
”We don't have time for this.” Sam paused and saw that I was pouting ”Don't pout Anna”
”Fine” I said and stormed back inside the hotel room.
Cass was sitting on the couch, he was flicking his own nose. He seamed to be very amused, I guessed that he had lost the feeling in his nose.
He then looked up at me and smiled ”Come, sit” he said and patted on the seat beside him.
He looked so funny smiling, he never did so it was a refreshing change. I sat down next to him, he immediately scooted closer to me.
Cass's hand was stroking my cheek it felt nice so I closed my eyes and soaked it all in, memorializing every second.
”Look at me” Castiel said softly ”Please open your eyes”
I did as he wanted and found myself looking into his calm yet charming intense dark blue eyes, ”You are beautiful” I could've fainted when these words were uttered, yes I had been told this before but hearing it from Cass an Angel of the lord was worth so much more.
He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine, they where surprisingly soft and warm.
Our lips moved in sync and the kiss was loaded with passion, Cass pulled me onto his lap without breaking the kiss. He trailed kisses down my neck to my collar bone, My body shivered as he continued kissing.
We laid down on the couch, My body went crazy when I felt Cass's press against mine.
It had been so long since I had been this intimate with someone, with all the apocalypse and whatnot who had time for intimacy?
We heard footsteps and a key being inserted into the lock. Cass spat up and just before Sam entering I had gotten up too and fixed any possible wrinkles and messes in my hair that may have been there.
Thank god he was alone, Dean would've sniffed out that something had happened in here, he was like a bloodhound with these things.
Sam had not found Dean so instead we continued to search for answers about what was happening here.
When morning came so did Dean, we had almost all the questions answered by now and we were just waiting for Dean so that we could discuss a course of action.
”I went out looking for you” Sam said.
We got up and walked to him ”You all right?” I asked when I noticed the look on Dean's face and blood on his hands, he didn't seam to have been hurt so where did the blood come from?
”It's not mine” Dean said stiffly ”Paul's dead”
Mine and Sam's eyes grew wide ”What” we both said in at the same time.
”Jane shot him” Dean declared.
”It's starting” Cass said from the couch.
”What's starting?” Dean made a millisecond pause before asking ”Where the hell have you been?”
”On a bender” Cass said, he sounded kinda angry and the look on Deans face was priceless. I would've laughed but now was not the right time.
Dean looked at me and Sam ”Did he--? You say on a bender?”
”Yeah.” I said.
”He's still pretty smashed” Sam said.
”It is not of import” Cass announced, I sat back down next to Cass and Sam next to me.
We shared what we had learned about the whore of babylon with Dean and came up with a plan on how to 'gank' her.
Cass went to get Father Gideon, he was very reluctant to what we where saying.
”Why does it have to be me?” he asked.
”You're a servant of heaven” Castiel answered.
”And you are and angel” Gideon said back.
”A poor example of one” Cass said and looked at me, his face was filled with guilt.
”Let's go” I said as we had convinced Father Gideon that what we where saying was true and it had to be done if he wanted to save the town and it's people.
We found Leah in Gideon's office, as she closed the door to a cabinet she saw Cass, he grabbed her and spun her around holding her still so that father Gideon could stab her with the cypress tree stake from babylon.
She pleaded for her life and when she found it futile she muttered some incantation that made Cass fall tot he floor wincing in pain. She sent he father flying, Sam and Dean attacked her but she did the same to them. She turned to me, I was sitting on the floor trying to help Cass.
She smiled evilly as I also was sent flying across the room, I landed on the desk and felt something enter my shoulder, I screamed but considering what was going on no one heard anything. I looked over my shoulder and saw a cross lodged into the right shoulder. 'Great I had been stabbed by faith' I though and pulled it out.
Leah the ran out of the room with her father right behind her.
”Anna, you okay?” Sam asked, I nodded and they ran out as well.
I didn't have time to worry about me so I crawled to Cass ”What can I do?”
”Nothing” Cass said, he looked to be in so much pain and I wanted to ease it.
”Go” he said ”Help them”
I didn't want to leave but I had to, I ran down the stairs into the chapel basement where the fight was ongoing.
Sam was battling Jane, Gideon was fighting two other men and Dean was trying to reach the stake whilst being choked by Leah.
With a quick assession of the situation I decided Dean needed my help the most, but before I could get to him one f the goons fighting Gideon noticed me and I found myself throwing and ducking punches of my own.
Not long after that I heard Leah groan and the fighting stopped as all gathered to watch what was happening to the girl.
I exchanged looks with Sam and Dean before the weakness took over my body and fell to the floor.
I woke up back at the Green Valley Motel, Sam was bandaging Father Gideon.
Dean said that he was going to get some clean bandages from the car but instead I heard the Impala engine revving.
Sam ran out and called after him but I could hear the car driving away.
Father Gideon had to return home and Sam volunteered to follow him home, this was good I needed time alone with Cass. Things had been left hanging and needed to be discussed.
It seamed like Cass didn't want to talk about it, maybe he was ashamed that it happened maybe even regretted it. The thought of him not wanting me anymore hurt like a thousand daggers inside me.
I looked up at him, He was standing at the window with his eyes closed.
”What are you doing?” I asked trying to get a conversation going.
”I'm trying to sense where Dean is” He said.
”I though you couldn't, not while he has the carvings on his ribcage” I said quietly.
”You are right, but I still wanted to try it” He said and looked at me.
”How are you feeling?” I asked.
”About Dean leaving?” Cass asked a bit confused.
I laughed ”No, about the bender. You were pretty drunk Cass, you are bound to get a nasty hangover”
He was quiet for a second ”I feel nauseous, it feels like the whole room is spinning and my head is throbbing.”
He came and sat on the bed next to me.
”Over all it it not that bad” Cass said.
”Good to hear” I said and smiled faintly.
Silence fell upon us after that, I did not dare to drag up what had happened earlier. Maybe he'd forgotten, there are some memory loss expected when you go on a huge bender like Cass had.
”I meant what I said earlier.” Cass said breaking the silence.
I had been looking down and fiddling with the sheets but looked up at Cass after he had spoken. He looked sincere, I don't think Cass was even capable of lying.
”You've said a lot of things earlier today” I said, because before I spoke another word I wanted to know that he was talking about the same thing I was thinking of.
”You truly are beautiful Ivanna Andrews” Cass said and kissed my cheek.
”Thank you” I said.
”And Sam talks about relationships and love like it is something everyone needs.” He paused and thought of how he would say the rest ”As an angel, I did not feel anything other than the will to please the lord but now maybe because I have fallen things-- I guess feelings have been presented themselves in me”
There was another pause before he continued ”I have feelings for you and I would like to try being in a relationship with you”
I was speechless and Cass interpreted it as a negative sigh and stood up, he was about to leave almost at the door when I finally regained control of my voice. ”Cass”
He stopped and turned to look at me.
”I do have feelings for you, I can't deny it but I'm scared” I said getting up and walked closer to him ”What if he or one of your brothers decides that we can not be and takes you away from me, I will not survive that”
”If that should happen I promise that I will find a way back to you.” Cass said and wrapped his arms around me.
I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes.
”We will take one day at the time and see where the future takes us” Cass said.
Later that same evening, Sam had not come back. Guess he was still looking for Dean.
Cass was still not feeling so good, I had told him that he would not go anywhere.
We were on the couch, I was half laying in his arms and he was stroking my hair gently.
”This is nice” I purred.
Cass agreed with me, ”I have to say that this hangover is not the most fun thing I have been through.”
I smiled to myself ”I know”
”One good thing came out of this day” Cass said.
”What might that be” I asked.
”Well, When I was drinking I realized that I was in love with you” Cass said.
I knew that he meant what he said, He loved me and I loved him. Nothing would change that, We would fight for our love.
I brushed through my short blonde hair as I thought of my life with the Winchester's, it was all but not boring, I had lost count on how many supernatural things we had hunted and killed since their father had rescued me from a vampire's nest when I was little girl. I stayed with them since my parent's had left me at a church when I was born.
I got adopted by the priest and his wife, they gave me the Name Ivanna.
I do not remember much of the Andrew's family but John knew them and he told me the whole story why they had been killed. Short version was that Demons killed them because they where really good people.
-
After John passed it was hard, I was about to leave the boys for a normal life when Uriel and Castiel where introduced.
I was very curious about Castiel, he had these intense dark blue eyes that seamed to pierce my soul. I could not stop looking at him whenever he was around and I think Uriel noticed, because he tried to get rid of me many times. He didn't try to kill me or anything but every time I got hurt he suggested to the boys that they should leave me somewhere and never return for me. Luckily for methey never did.
Castiel haunted me, all I could think of at times was how much I wanted to just kiss him. I had to focus all my energy sometimes on not throwing myself at him. He was an angel, forbidden fruit and that made me want him even more.
I tried to refocus my frustration and lusting (with the lack of better a word), I tried channeling Dean's behavior with women but failed miserably. I didn't want the other men I used as a distraction, I wanted Castiel.
A few nights I had even woken up feeling that someone was watching me but looking through the room I only saw the boys (if I was sharing rooms with them).
-
One time when I was staying in my own room I woke up to the same feeling that someone was there, this time the first thing I saw was the beautiful face of Castiel.
”Cass?” I asked groggily.
”Yes it is me” Cass said.
I sat up and put a stand of hair behind my ear.
”What are you doing here?” I asked.
Cass didn't say a word he just looked deep into my eyes, then he leaned closer as if to kiss me but before our lips could touch he disappeared.
I gasped when I saw Uriel standing in the corner looking at me.
”You should not dream dreams like this” He walked up to me and put two of his fingers on my head.
Waking up that morning was confusing, The dream or whatever it was haunted me. It felt so real, from that day I knew that some feelings for Castiel lived inside of me but I tried to ignore them the best that I could.
-
The apocalypse had begun, things where going to hell and Castiel was nowhere to be found.
Dean, Sam and I where going to drive through Minnesota when we were attacked by demons, oddly enough we got saved by some townspeople in Blue Earth. We followed them back to the town only to discover that a prophet lived there a Girl named Leah Gideon.
We were at the local bar after talking to the priest, Sam was trying to get hold of Castiel whilst I was scolding Dean for the comment he had made to the Priest's daughter.
”Did you see the look he gave you?” I said loudly over the music.
”Yeah I did, no big deal” Dean replied.
”No big deal?” I raised by eyebrows at him ”Dean, you don't want to piss this priest off! He was packing”
”I know, I know” Dean said calmly.
”Dick” I mouthed to him but he just smiled back, How annoying.
Sam came back to the table with two beers, one for him and Dean.
Dean asked if he had gotten a hold of Cass, Sam wasn't sure but I left him a message. Did Castiel even know how to get to the voicemail? I thought whilst the boys discussed different theories.
Knowing that the end of the world was only a month or two away scared me, there where so many things I still wanted to do.
I wanted to quit this hunting thing, find a man, get married, have kids and just lead a normal life.
Church bells started chiming and people started to exit the bar.
Sam asked Paul (the bartender) what was going on, seamed like Leah had an vision.
Gideon talked to the people that had gathered in the church ”Three miles off Talmage Road”
He was interrupted by Leah, she whispered something in his ear ”Five miles, the demons gathered. I don't know how many, but a lot.”
He dismissed Leah and she sat down in the front row of the church.
He asked who would join him to go kill them, a man whom I later identified as Rob (one of the men who saved us), the bartender Paul and a young boy named Dylan (who happened to be Rob's son)
Of course Dean and Sam where going to, I intended to go with also.
Father Gideon asked us all to say a prayer for our safe return.
When we were about to leave Gideon stopped us. ”I think that you should stay behind Miss”
”Why?” I questioned.
”Killing demons is not something a woman should be doing” he said.
”But you said everyone helps” I said not believing this.
”Yes but the women don't usually come along for an hunt” He said.
Dean, seeing that I was about to start up some trouble cut in ”Maybe you should stay behind Anna”
I gave him a death glare.
”We need to get a hold of Cass, ASAP” He said.
”Fine” I said through gritted teeth and muttered a few curse words at Dean.
So all I could do was watch as the Impala drove away.
”They will be fine” a overly sweet voice said behind me.
I turned to see Leah standing a few feet behind me.
”Yeah, I know they will be” I said and thought of all the punishment I was going to release on Dean once he got back.
But that did not happen, the young boy Dylan had been killed before getting into the car with Dean and Sam.
The funeral was the same day and when we were going to give our condolences to his family his mother Jane looked at Dean and blamed him for Dylan's death. Rob held her and they walked inside.
Their pain spoke to me and brought back one of the harder things I had ever done.
-
”There must be a way to send them away” I said worrying about what was going to go down in the next couple of hours.
”Well I can't find anything” Sam said frustrated and threw the book back on the table, it landed with a lout thud.
”There is a way” Cass's voice cam out of nowhere as he had appeared in his special way.
”Cass you scared me” I said.
”Did you say that there's a way to send your kind to hell?” Dean asked looking surprised.
”No, not to hell but away” Cass said.
”Then show us” Dean demanded.
Cass showed us how to draw it, he told us that it had to be done in blood.
An hour later it was time, we were in an abandoned warehouse.
”If you must use the sigil, but only if you see no other way out” Cass said.
”Why?” I asked before anyone else could.
Cass turned to look at me ”It will banish all Angels, including me”.
”Then we wont use it, who knows what will happen to you” I said.
”If it comes to it you have to, no matter what happens to me.” Cass paused ”Dean, Sam and you are what matters now”
”I won't do it” I said stubbornly.
They didn't have time to argue with me as Zachariah, Uriel and another angel appeared and started fighting.
Zach was trying to beat up Dean, Uriel had his hands full with Sam and the other had to face Castiel. At first I joined in on Sam's fight but Uriel was to strong for me and I was sent flying into a wall. This distracted the boys and the angels got the upper hand, they were now beating Sam, Dean and Castiel up.
I the realized what I had to do, I pulled out my knife and pressed the blade lightly against my wrist dark red liquid started dripping.
Teary eyed I painted the angel banishing sigil on the wall, quickly once I was done I bandaged p my wrist so that I wouldn't bleed out.
I whistled to get the attention ”Hey Boys”
They stopped to look at me.
”I'm sorry” I mouthed to Cass, he nodded and ensured me that he was ok with this.
Before anyone could stop me I put my bloody hand on the sigil, the air was filled with their screams as the angels where practically ripped away.
I fell to the floor crying, I had just saved myself, Dean and Sam but at what price?
I felt empty inside,We didn't know where Cass had been banished to or if he'd be able to come back.
Luckily a few days later he was back, I just wanted to run up to him and fall into his arms...
-
During the funeral Leah had another vision, she said that Dylan would be resurrected on the judgment day. She also forbid drinking, gambling and premarital sex.
As we walked out I joked with Dean ”No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex. Dean, They outlawed 90 percent of your personality.” I paused ”You'll have to marry and divorce many women now”.
Sam laughed.
”Well, whatever. When in Rome” Dean shrugged, He was being oddly calm with this.
”So you're cool with it?” Sam asked.
”I'm not cool with this. Look, I'm not a prophet. We're not locals.” He paused ”It's not my call”
He said that he would catch up with us and left to go back inside the church. Me and Sam went back to the bar where we found it empty. Paul offered us some shots and we talked to him for a while about god, demons and the apocalypse.
The curfew came closer and we had to go to our motel where we found a very different Dean, it was like he had given up.
He and Sam got into a argument about this, I couldn't believe this.
”We can't give up” I shouted after Dean as he walked out to clear his head.
”Let's hit the books” Sam said and pulled out a book from his bag, I nodded and did the same.
For fifteen long minuted we where both quiet as mice, that was odd for me because the only time I could be quiet like that was when my or someone's life was in danger.
We heard a thump as Cass arrived ”I got your message”
His voice was different, he was slurring a little. He was also holing on to the door as if it was the only way he could keep himself upright.
Both sam and i let out a sigh of relief, Cass had scared the shit out of us.
”It was long, your message. And I find the sound of your voice grating” he said to Sam. Sam looked at me, he was wondering what was wrong with Cass. I shook my head and looked at him then back to Cass
”What's wrong with you” I asked a bit worried.
Cass was looking around but not really looking, he swayed a little apparently is was difficult for him to keep his balance. 'Was he... Drunk?!'
As if Sam had read my mind he asked ”Are you... Drunk?”
”No” Cass said at first, I could now see his face and it was not as tense as it used to be. He swayed a bit too much forward and almost fell but he caught a hold of the metal divider thing between the door and room ”Yes” he then admitted.
”What the hell happened to you?” I asked walking closer to him.
”I found a liquor store” He said and closed his eyer leaning his head against the divider.
”And?” I asked disapprovingly.
”I drank it” he spat and opened his eyes to look at me.
I was only a few inches away from him and I cold smell the alcohol on his breath.
”Why did you call me” He asked as he pushed past me to get to Sam.
He was about to topple over again but Sam put up his hands to catch him if he'd fall.
”Woah, there you go, easy.” Sam said and looked at Cass ”Are you okay?”
I moved closer to them, Cass slowly leaned closer to Sam. It looked like he was going to kiss him at first, if Sam would've been a girl I though he just might. I felt a flicker of jealousy, I wanted to be in Sam's position now.
”Don't ask stupid questions” Cass said to Sam.
Cass leaned against the desk and said ”Tell me what you need.”
Sam started ”Well, There's been these demon attacks. Massive.”
”On the edge of town, We can't figure out why” I said.
Cass only seamed interested in what Sam had to say now because he didn't even look at me when I spoke.
”Any sign of angels?” Cass asked still only looking at Sam.
O how I wanted him to look at me, it felt like I was invisible to him.
”Sort of, they've been speaking to this prophet.” Sam said.
”Who?” Cass asked.
”This girl..” Sam didn't get to finish the sentence
”Leah Gideon” I tried to get Cass's attention, I needed him to look at me.
”She's not a prophet” Cass said staring blankly forward.
”I'm pretty sure she is. The visions, headaches the whole package.” Sam said trying to convince Cass.
”The names of all the prophets, they're seared into my brain.” He said looking up at the ceiling and then turning back to Sam ”Leah Gideon is not one of them”
”Then what is she?” Sam asked.
”I do not know” Cass said.
”I'd better go look for Dean” Sam said and motioned to the door.
I walked with him and he stopped outside ”I'll go look, cold you stay and look after Cass?” he asked.
”Yeah sure, I was left behind earlier today why not stay here and babysit the bender bad-ass angel.” I said angrily.
”We don't have time for this.” Sam paused and saw that I was pouting ”Don't pout Anna”
”Fine” I said and stormed back inside the hotel room.
Cass was sitting on the couch, he was flicking his own nose. He seamed to be very amused, I guessed that he had lost the feeling in his nose.
He then looked up at me and smiled ”Come, sit” he said and patted on the seat beside him.
He looked so funny smiling, he never did so it was a refreshing change. I sat down next to him, he immediately scooted closer to me.
Cass's hand was stroking my cheek it felt nice so I closed my eyes and soaked it all in, memorializing every second.
”Look at me” Castiel said softly ”Please open your eyes”
I did as he wanted and found myself looking into his calm yet charming intense dark blue eyes, ”You are beautiful” I could've fainted when these words were uttered, yes I had been told this before but hearing it from Cass an Angel of the lord was worth so much more.
He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine, they where surprisingly soft and warm.
Our lips moved in sync and the kiss was loaded with passion, Cass pulled me onto his lap without breaking the kiss. He trailed kisses down my neck to my collar bone, My body shivered as he continued kissing.
We laid down on the couch, My body went crazy when I felt Cass's press against mine.
It had been so long since I had been this intimate with someone, with all the apocalypse and whatnot who had time for intimacy?
We heard footsteps and a key being inserted into the lock. Cass spat up and just before Sam entering I had gotten up too and fixed any possible wrinkles and messes in my hair that may have been there.
Thank god he was alone, Dean would've sniffed out that something had happened in here, he was like a bloodhound with these things.
Sam had not found Dean so instead we continued to search for answers about what was happening here.
When morning came so did Dean, we had almost all the questions answered by now and we were just waiting for Dean so that we could discuss a course of action.
”I went out looking for you” Sam said.
We got up and walked to him ”You all right?” I asked when I noticed the look on Dean's face and blood on his hands, he didn't seam to have been hurt so where did the blood come from?
”It's not mine” Dean said stiffly ”Paul's dead”
Mine and Sam's eyes grew wide ”What” we both said in at the same time.
”Jane shot him” Dean declared.
”It's starting” Cass said from the couch.
”What's starting?” Dean made a millisecond pause before asking ”Where the hell have you been?”
”On a bender” Cass said, he sounded kinda angry and the look on Deans face was priceless. I would've laughed but now was not the right time.
Dean looked at me and Sam ”Did he--? You say on a bender?”
”Yeah.” I said.
”He's still pretty smashed” Sam said.
”It is not of import” Cass announced, I sat back down next to Cass and Sam next to me.
We shared what we had learned about the whore of babylon with Dean and came up with a plan on how to 'gank' her.
Cass went to get Father Gideon, he was very reluctant to what we where saying.
”Why does it have to be me?” he asked.
”You're a servant of heaven” Castiel answered.
”And you are and angel” Gideon said back.
”A poor example of one” Cass said and looked at me, his face was filled with guilt.
”Let's go” I said as we had convinced Father Gideon that what we where saying was true and it had to be done if he wanted to save the town and it's people.
We found Leah in Gideon's office, as she closed the door to a cabinet she saw Cass, he grabbed her and spun her around holding her still so that father Gideon could stab her with the cypress tree stake from babylon.
She pleaded for her life and when she found it futile she muttered some incantation that made Cass fall tot he floor wincing in pain. She sent he father flying, Sam and Dean attacked her but she did the same to them. She turned to me, I was sitting on the floor trying to help Cass.
She smiled evilly as I also was sent flying across the room, I landed on the desk and felt something enter my shoulder, I screamed but considering what was going on no one heard anything. I looked over my shoulder and saw a cross lodged into the right shoulder. 'Great I had been stabbed by faith' I though and pulled it out.
Leah the ran out of the room with her father right behind her.
”Anna, you okay?” Sam asked, I nodded and they ran out as well.
I didn't have time to worry about me so I crawled to Cass ”What can I do?”
”Nothing” Cass said, he looked to be in so much pain and I wanted to ease it.
”Go” he said ”Help them”
I didn't want to leave but I had to, I ran down the stairs into the chapel basement where the fight was ongoing.
Sam was battling Jane, Gideon was fighting two other men and Dean was trying to reach the stake whilst being choked by Leah.
With a quick assession of the situation I decided Dean needed my help the most, but before I could get to him one f the goons fighting Gideon noticed me and I found myself throwing and ducking punches of my own.
Not long after that I heard Leah groan and the fighting stopped as all gathered to watch what was happening to the girl.
I exchanged looks with Sam and Dean before the weakness took over my body and fell to the floor.
I woke up back at the Green Valley Motel, Sam was bandaging Father Gideon.
Dean said that he was going to get some clean bandages from the car but instead I heard the Impala engine revving.
Sam ran out and called after him but I could hear the car driving away.
Father Gideon had to return home and Sam volunteered to follow him home, this was good I needed time alone with Cass. Things had been left hanging and needed to be discussed.
It seamed like Cass didn't want to talk about it, maybe he was ashamed that it happened maybe even regretted it. The thought of him not wanting me anymore hurt like a thousand daggers inside me.
I looked up at him, He was standing at the window with his eyes closed.
”What are you doing?” I asked trying to get a conversation going.
”I'm trying to sense where Dean is” He said.
”I though you couldn't, not while he has the carvings on his ribcage” I said quietly.
”You are right, but I still wanted to try it” He said and looked at me.
”How are you feeling?” I asked.
”About Dean leaving?” Cass asked a bit confused.
I laughed ”No, about the bender. You were pretty drunk Cass, you are bound to get a nasty hangover”
He was quiet for a second ”I feel nauseous, it feels like the whole room is spinning and my head is throbbing.”
He came and sat on the bed next to me.
”Over all it it not that bad” Cass said.
”Good to hear” I said and smiled faintly.
Silence fell upon us after that, I did not dare to drag up what had happened earlier. Maybe he'd forgotten, there are some memory loss expected when you go on a huge bender like Cass had.
”I meant what I said earlier.” Cass said breaking the silence.
I had been looking down and fiddling with the sheets but looked up at Cass after he had spoken. He looked sincere, I don't think Cass was even capable of lying.
”You've said a lot of things earlier today” I said, because before I spoke another word I wanted to know that he was talking about the same thing I was thinking of.
”You truly are beautiful Ivanna Andrews” Cass said and kissed my cheek.
”Thank you” I said.
”And Sam talks about relationships and love like it is something everyone needs.” He paused and thought of how he would say the rest ”As an angel, I did not feel anything other than the will to please the lord but now maybe because I have fallen things-- I guess feelings have been presented themselves in me”
There was another pause before he continued ”I have feelings for you and I would like to try being in a relationship with you”
I was speechless and Cass interpreted it as a negative sigh and stood up, he was about to leave almost at the door when I finally regained control of my voice. ”Cass”
He stopped and turned to look at me.
”I do have feelings for you, I can't deny it but I'm scared” I said getting up and walked closer to him ”What if he or one of your brothers decides that we can not be and takes you away from me, I will not survive that”
”If that should happen I promise that I will find a way back to you.” Cass said and wrapped his arms around me.
I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes.
”We will take one day at the time and see where the future takes us” Cass said.
Later that same evening, Sam had not come back. Guess he was still looking for Dean.
Cass was still not feeling so good, I had told him that he would not go anywhere.
We were on the couch, I was half laying in his arms and he was stroking my hair gently.
”This is nice” I purred.
Cass agreed with me, ”I have to say that this hangover is not the most fun thing I have been through.”
I smiled to myself ”I know”
”One good thing came out of this day” Cass said.
”What might that be” I asked.
”Well, When I was drinking I realized that I was in love with you” Cass said.
I knew that he meant what he said, He loved me and I loved him. Nothing would change that, We would fight for our love.