Dad, what’s masturba- JOEY NOOO!

“Joey...come on wake up already,” Jakob whined quietly, shaking his brother’s wrist gently. “I’ve got something to tell you,” Jakob whispered again.

During this time the children’s father was resting beside them, unaware that Jakob was awake at 4:30 in the morning.

“Joey, mommy’s going to have a baby,” Jakob murmured happily, looking at the small bandage across his brothers’ crimson colored face. The child’s current fragile body didn’t respond, upsetting Jakob. “I know you can hear me,” Jakob pouted, suddenly glancing up to meet face to face with his father. “Hi daddy,” Jakob mumbled, feeling his chest pounding
faster as every second went past. The room became silent.

“News certainly travels fast around here,” Billie sarcastically stated, breaking the growing tension. He glanced back and forth at both his two young sons, whilst he caressed his growing stubble. “Who told you?” the tired rock star questioned, raising his head against the inside of his palm.

“I overheard Tré and Claudia talk about mommy…I was asleep on the couch,” Jakob explained, nervously chewing on his bottom lip.

“Is that all you heard?” Billie queried, wanting to know whether or not his son new that his mothers pregnancy was in danger.

“Well yeah…they also said something about the baby not being safe,” the eight year old whispered, fiddling with the zippers on the ends of his jacket.

“Right…well I’m going to go to the bathroom, then check up on your mom and I’ll be back after,” Billie replied, tiredly standing up and stretching his body as he yawned deeply. He walked towards the exit, grabbing hold of the door knob when he suddenly stopped, listening to Jakob’s question.

“Will mommy be alright?” the young child questioned, glancing at his father in anticipation. The thirty four year old man turned back towards his son, avoiding eye contact, he struggled to hide the worried tone within his voice as he replied.

“Ofcourse she will,” Billie murmured, smiling half-heartedly as he quickly exited the room before his son had the chance to respond.

*Billie’s P.O.V*

Walking down the quiet corridor I stopped in front of the balcony where I witnessed a young female wearing striped shorts and a white singlet. She was surrounded by a layer of cloudy smoke which I concluded to be a freshly lit up cigarette. I slowly slid the glass door open and walked outside. My sense of smell was immediately flooded by the overpowering stench of the evaporating stick within the girls’ fingers. She didn’t bother to turn around to see who was coming outside to join her on the cold balcony at 4:45 in the morning.

“Hey,” I announced, walking closer to stand beside the grown woman. She faced me and blew out a deep puff of smoke right into my face. I stopped breathing for a few seconds, waiting for the smoke to fade away before I’d have the chance to breathe it in and cough out loud.

“Hey,” she muttered back, inhaling another deep amount of smoke down her throat.

“Do you greet everyone with a great gust of smoke in their face?” I smirked, folding my arms against my chest.

“Not really,” she replied, glancing back at me this time however examining my facial features deeply. “You look really familiar,” she stated, moving closer towards me to get a better view of my face.

“I play in a band,” I remarked, rubbing my eye lids deeply with my fingers, trying to wake myself up. I looked back at her to only see her still examining me.

“Oh, my kids got you on his wall, that’s right,” she suddenly remembered, taking another puff of her cigarette before throwing it off the edge.

“Wow, I thought you’d never recognize me,” I said back, a sarcastic tone appearing in my voice.

“I’m Kelly,” she introduced, smiling welcomingly as she put out her hand to greet me.

“Oh so this must be the V.I.P treatment I should’ve gotten before you blew all that smoke into my face,” I reinstated jokingly, pulling my hand out to kindly shake hers.

She glared right back at me, with a laugh. “Sorry about that,” she apologized, feeling embarrassed. I focused on her gradual growing red cheeks as she continued to laugh.

“Ah forget about it…so why are you out here all alone at this hour?” I asked, changing the subject. She turned away slightly and took time to respond.

“My kid he…he has leukemia and he’s been here for a while now…I just felt like a smoke so I obviously needed to come out here,” She explained, flicking back a blonde streak from her hair. I watched her take out another cigarette from the packet she held and light it up.

“I’m sorry to hear that about him,” I responded, shifting my feet against the ground.

“Thank you,” she whispered back, holding back the tears that flooded her bright blue eyes.

We both went silent and all that could be heard was the soothing sound of the Californian breeze. “I’m sorry I forgot to offer you…do you want a smoke?” she spoke up, holding out a new box filled with them.

I hesitated to answer as I was contemplating between the situation I was in at that time and the fact that I had merely quit smoking for over a month now because of the oath. Seeing as I sort of zoned out thinking about it, when reality hit me I realized my hand had already taken a cigarette out from the packet the woman was offering.

“Thanks,” I spoke out, lighting it up with her lighter that she held out. I felt my heart racing faster as I came closer into placing the edge of the cigarette between my lips. It’s not like I haven’t done this a million times before, so why do I feel so afraid if that’s the best way to say it. Who gives a fuck that I took an oath…my wife and kid are both in hospital and are in critical conditions… what else could I possibly do right now to relieve my stress?

I felt it touch the edges of my dry lips and as I placed it firmly in my mouth I breathed it in deeply so that it filled up my lungs with the poisonous substance. Although I had just broken my oath I couldn’t care less about the consequences at this moment in time. My heart was racing, my pupils had dilated and I felt this huge wave of intense pleasure run throughout my entire body almost as if I was having sex for the first time. That’s pretty sad though, to compare one deep intake of smoke with sex. I came to exhale out the remains of the toxins from my lungs and heard a familiar voice call out to me.

“Dad, dad, come quick, Joey’s awake, he’s awake!” Jakob exclaimed, his voice loud and happy. I turned around as did Kelly and choked on the smoke that had flown up and down my throat.

*End of Billie’s P.O.V*

*Jakob’s P.O.V back in the room*

Wow I think my dad is the worst liar I’ve ever met…h e couldn’t even look me in the eye to reply to my question. Mum and the baby must be really sick. I stood up from where I sat and moved closer to my brother.

“Marciano, can you wake up already,” I whispered softly near his ear. He hated me calling him by his middle name but I just got sick of calling out his first name.

As expected nothing happened, so I decided to get onto his bed and sleep beside him. I kicked off my shoes and gently lifted myself up near him where I gently pushed him more to the other side so I could make room for myself. I let out a deep breath once my head fell onto the fat pillow and closed my eyes.

What’s going to happen if he never wakes up?

What’s going to happen if mommy suddenly dies?

For a few seconds I could feel my tears leaking out from underneath my eyelids as I laid there thinking about my family. I bet daddy wants to cry a lot because I guess he knows more about what’s wrong with mommy and Joey then I would. I wiped my tears and turned over to face my older brother. I decided to press my ear against his chest to hear his heart beat. The sound of his heart echoed in my ear, it almost sounded like the drum beat in the movie Jumanji. It was the only physical sign to tell me that he was still alive, apart from his chest that rose and decreased as he breathed. Suddenly I felt his body move underneath me, causing me to sit back immediately.

“J...Joey,” I heard myself tremor, the muscle in my chest beating deeply. I watched his eyes softly blink and his fingers move around. His eye lids slowly opened up and glared up to the ceiling.

“What’s…where is …people…mom,” he muttered in confusion, his voice sounding hoarse and deep.

“Joey!” I exclaimed, feeling my cheeks rise up in happiness. I jumped off the bed and ran across to his side, my eyes wide in amazement. “Joey I’m here, it’s me Jakob…don’t worry about a thing I’ll go get dad, you’ll be fine,” I assured him, running out of the room and through the halls to get my dad. I ran past a balcony where two people stood. It was weird how I could recognize the back of my father at the speed I was running. I walked back to the glass door and pushed it open with all my might and yelled out in excitement that Joey was awake.

*End of Jakob’s P.O.V*

“Dad, dad, come quick, Joey’s awake, he’s awake!” the child exclaimed, his voice loud and happy. Jakob’s facial expression suddenly became confused when he looked at his dad coughing repeatedly. He watched his father throw what looked like a cigarette on the ground and step over it with his shoe. “Are you smoking?” the eight year old questioned, stepping forward to see his father properly.

“Never mind…tell the…tell the doctor,” Billie replied, continuing to cough. “Sorry Kelly, thanks for the smoke,” he quickly said, running after Jakob to get to his older son.

“Joey we’re here,” Jakob spoke out, walking up to his brothers’ bed.

“Buddy, how are you feeling?” his father questioned concernedly, trying to breathe steadily after running through the corridor.

“Mommy,” Joey muttered under his breath.

“No Joey, it’s me…dad,” Billie Joe replied back, feeling his forehead and gently squeezing his sons’ hand. Jakob stood quietly next to his father in relief.

“Dad…dizzy,” Joey spoke back, trying to make sense of his surroundings. Before Billie could reply the doctor walked in.

“Joseph, how you feeling son?” the doctor queried, examining his eyes and checking the heart monitor.

“Doctor, he told me he was dizzy,” the father of two informed, stepping back to allow the doctor some room to work.

“I believe that’s due to the current medication that’s in his body…his pupils are slightly dilated but his blood pressure is stable and his temperature seems fine,” the doctor replied, continuing to examine the boy. “Joey, are you feeling any pain at all?” the doctor questioned, as he jotted down notes in the folder.

He nodded his head in a manner signifying that he was fine and turned to face his younger brother Jakob.

“What happened?” Joey questioned, looking up to his brother and father solemnly. He then fixated his eyes on his left arm that was bandaged and the remaining cuts and bruises that were noticeable all over his body.

“Well… a car almost killed you,” Jakob answered bluntly, looking down at his brother and then glancing back up to his father.

“Mmm, and you’ve been in a coma since yesterday afternoon,” his father added, glaring at the doctor to see what he was doing.

“Are you for real?” Joey questioned, in disbelief.

“We’re not kidding…that’s why your left arm is fractured, you’ve got bruises and scratches on your arms and legs,” Jakob replied, looking over at his brothers’ bandages.

“Wow…where’s mom?” the injured boy queried, touching the bandage on his forehead.

“She’s a bit sick and she’s lying in another room,” Billie informed, stepping back to talk with the doctor.

“You’re son is doing well, fortunately there’s no sign of brain damage…I’ll check up on him again shortly,” the doctor concluded, placing the clipboard back onto the side table.

“Good, good, doctor should there be any symptoms we should look out for now or should he be fine?” Billie questioned, eyeing his two boys as they spoke to one another.

“Well right now we shouldn’t be concerned about anything because from what I can see is that he is fully conscious at the moment and that’s showing a good sign already.

“Ok thank you,” Billie replied, allowing the doctor to walk out. He went back to where Jakob stood. “Alright, you two I’m going to go check up on your mom and tell her that you’re awake and good, during this time please don’t get up to anything stupid,” he said, winking with a smile as he walked out of the room. The two boys waited until their father had walked out and closed the door behind him.

“Alright, now tell me what’s really wrong with mom?” Joey asked, slowly sitting up in order to straighten up his posture.

“Ok…so yesterday I overhead Claudia and Tré talking about mommy, they said that she was pregnant,” Jakob explained, kicking off his shoes once again and sliding himself up onto the bed in front of his brother.

“Mom’s having another baby!” Joey retorted in disillusionment, his facial expression switched on ‘surprise mode’.

“Hold your horses, I haven’t finished telling you the whole story,” Jakob complained, trying to settle down his brother.

“Well, tell me already,” Joey replied in anticipation, scratching his head with his right hand.

“Claudia mentioned that the baby isn’t safe and it’s making mommy sick,” Jakob continued, his smile forming into a frown.

“Wh…what do you mean it’s making her sick…what’s wrong with the baby?” Joey questioned, disappointedly.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with the baby…dad got sort of angry when he found out that I knew because I think he didn’t want me to know for the fact that I might get really sad if mommy wont have the baby,” Jakob answered, looking behind to see if any one was going to enter the door.

“He always wants to protect us from the truth, the sad truth that is,” Joey sighed, resting back onto his pillow and glaring up to the ceiling.

“You know my birthday wish came true,” Jakob spoke out, picking at the hole in his sock.

“What, you wished to have another brother or sister?” Joey questioned, a smirk appearing on his lips.

“Yeah, but maybe I should’ve reworded what I had wished for…what’s so funny?” Jakob answered, realizing Joey’s smirk.

“Nothing, it’s just that I had a similar wish on my fourth birthday…mom was already pregnant with you but we didn’t know if you were going to be a girl or a boy so I wished to have a baby brother,” Joey explained, looking around the room.

“I wonder if mom is getting better,” Jakob sighed, laying down side ways onto the bed.

***

Adrienne had been moved into another ward where she was thoroughly examined and taken care of during the night. She spent the hours counseling herself, trying to come up with a conclusion for her current state. Though she already knew deep down that the medication to terminate her pregnancy was the wisest option she continued to rethink all her options available. Her husband finally found her room after roaming around in confusion.

“Finally I’ve found you,” Billie sighed in relief, walking up to his wife.

“Did you get lost?” his wife questioned, with a small smile.

“Let’s not speak of my last 20 minutes,” Billie replied, tiredly resting on the vacant chair beside the bed. “Joey’s awake,” he announced, tilting his head back with a grin.

“What! How is he? What did the doctor say? I need to go see him,” Adrienne suddenly exclaimed, removing the covers off her body, wanting to leave.

“Babe, babe calm down, he’s doing fine, the doctor said he’s perfect and you need to rest in bed…you can’t see him yet,” Billie assured, quickly standing beside her to stop her from getting up.

“Is he in any pain? Is Jakob with him? Does he know what happened? Did you tell him where I am?” she continued to question quickly, anxious to leave the room and see her son.

“Darling, I told you to calm down, Joey is just fine, he’s not feeling any pain, nor has he shown and sign of brain damage, and yes we told him about the accident and he just seems to be taking everything well,” the tired man responded once more. “Now let’s talk about you…have you made your decision?” Her husband questioned, moving towards another serious subject.

“I have made my decision, it’s just that I still don’t want to go through it, I keep having second thoughts,” Adrienne answered, resting her head back onto her pillow. She watched as her husband sighed deeply, knowing that he wanted her answer to be what he was hoping for.

“What’s your decision?” Billie spoke back, sitting back down into the leather arm chair.

“To take the medication,” his wife answered, glancing out to the balcony.

The green eyed man, thought deeply. He acknowledged his wife’s response and thought to himself that it was the only safest solution they had at that moment especially under this circumstance. He would’ve been thrilled to be a father again but to witness his wife suffering through this pregnancy and also harming the baby would tear up his entire life. He knew that this decision was not only difficult for his wife to make but also to live with for the rest of her life. The medication was only seen as the best solution to stop both mother and baby from suffering hence why he wanted it to end like this.

“I know your decision has been difficult, but it’s the smartest and best option we’ve got right now,” Billie spoke up, standing back up to his wife and kissing the side of her temple. “We’re going to get through this together,” he whispered, holding her hand between both his palms.

“I hope so,” She murmured in reply, resting her head on her husbands shoulder as she wiped away a tear. Her nostrils were suddenly filled with the heavy smell of cigarettes. “Have you been smoking?” she questioned, raising her head and looking directly at his eyes.

“Around an hour ago I was on the balcony and there was this lady smoking…the smell must have caught onto my clothes,” Billie explained, staring down at the hospital blanket. “Your doctor is not here now is she?” he now asked, looking back up at his wife’s chocolate colored eyes.

“No, she should be here around seven,” Adrienne replied, moving aside to reach for her bottle of water on her bed side table. “Billie, I really want to go see Joey…please take me to him,” his wife pleaded, struggling to take her recovering child off her mind.

“Alright, I’ll ask the nurse and see what she says,” Billie spoke back, walking out towards the reception desk.

Several minutes later, the rock star rolled back in with a wheel chair and a heart warming smile.

“Get on, we’re going for a ride,” he stated with a growing grin, going over to his wife and lowering down the bed rail to assist her on sitting comfortably onto the wheel chair.

The Armstrong couple wheeled their way to the room where both their children remained. A knock was heard on the door, followed by their entrance.

“Mommy!” exclaimed Jakob first, jumping off the empty hospital bed and running up to his mother. He carefully bent over to hug her. “Are you feeling better? Is the baby still sick?” Jakob suddenly questioned, innocently looking back to his mother for answers.

Adrienne looked back at her husband, expressing the look of ‘Jakob knows about the baby?’ and looking back down to her younger son with a motherly smile.

“We’re still waiting for the results but I’m doing fine baby,” she quickly answered, sitting forward to kiss his forehead.

“Hi mom,” a weak voice was heard, but a smile displayed on his lips.

“Hi sweetheart, how are you feeling?” Adrienne asked, grabbing hold of his right hand and grasping on to it gently. She smiled a relieved looking smile as she examined her child beside her.

“I’m feeling better,” he replied, smiling back at his mother. “How are you feeling?” he questioned, concerned about the news of his mothers pregnancy.

Billie came around the wheel chair and asked Jakob to put on his shoes. “We’ll go and get some coffee and drinks,” he said, waiting for his child to tie up his shoe laces and walk outside with him.

“Oh Hun, please don’t get me anything, the doctor said I can’t have anything else but water,” Adie informed, adjusting her hospital gown.

“Joey?” Billie said, quirking his eyebrow.

“No thanks dad, I’m not thirsty,” Joey replied, moving himself closer to his mother.

Billie and Jakob walked out and took the elevator down to the cafeteria where the vending machines were available.

“Jake, you choose what you want and I’ll get myself some coffee,” his father said, handing him a few dollar notes and quarters. Jakob couldn’t help but ask about his father smoking on the balcony.

“Dad, were you smoking on the balcony before?” The eight year old queried, choosing his drink from the vending machine.

Billie sighed deeply as he put the coins in the coffee machine and glanced at his son. “Yeah buddy,” he answered, lowering his eyes to the ground.

“Did you smoke because you were stressed? I don’t blame you if did,” Jakob asked, walking over to his father with a bottle in his hand. Billie took his hands out of his pockets and bent down to his son’s height.

“I’m pleased to know that you’re very understanding, you know sometimes I find it hard to believe that you’re just eight,” Billie replied, smiling almost laughing back.

“Why? How old do you think I am?” Jakob grinned, stuffing the remaining money in his front pocket and opening his bottle.

“Mmm I’m not sure…maybe fifteen, you speak a lot older then your age,” his father replied, glancing at his coffee cup to see if it was ready.

“So you smoked because you were really afraid about mommy and Joey right?” Jakob asked again, leaning against the wall.

“Yeah I did…but I didn’t even get the chance to smoke one cigarette I just took one puff and then you came,” Billie explained, grabbing his freshly brewed coffee and walking towards the elevator slowly back with his son.

“Does this mean you broke your oath?” Jakob asked, his lips turning a bright red color from the cordial drink.

“I suppose so…but that doesn’t mean I’m going to start smoking like I did before, besides Mike will be very understanding anyway so he might tell me to continue…we’ve only got a few weeks left any way,” Billie answered, waiting for the elevator to come.

“Why would you tell Mike for?” Jakob grinned mischievously, walking into the lift along with his father.

“Where are you leading our conversation exactly?” his father replied, quirking his eyebrow strangely, as he pressed the button of the level they were on.

“I was the only one that actually saw you,” Jakob explained, leaning against the side.

“And?” Billie muttered, trying to predict what his son was thinking.

“Well, can’t we pretend like it never happened and that way you might finish off the oath,” Jakob stated, stepping out of the elevator as it opened the doors.

“Son, I know what you’re thinking but it actually defeats the purpose of the oath you know,” Billie replied, gently placing an arm around his child as they walked through the corridor.

“Oh well it was just an option,” Jakob shrugged, looking up to this father.

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Billie looked down, carefully holding the cup with his freehand.

“What is it?” Jakob replied, reaching the door to Joey’s room.

“Don’t mention this to anybody, let me do all the talking when it’s time,” Billie smiled back, opening the door and walking inside to sit with the rest of his family.