Dad, what’s masturba- JOEY NOOO!

The customized drum set for Jakob was covered from head to toe with big yellow ‘danger’ caution signs reading ‘JAKOB DANGER ARMSTRONG’ and around the body of the drums where pictures of Jakob by him self and with his family and friends, his favorite bands and favorite cartoons. Even the seat was covered in yellow leather again with the caution sign reading this lucky boy’s name. The drum sticks were a nice wood color with his name imprinted on them as well.

“So Joey you where saying,” Billie said giving him a sly looking smile.

Joey in return punched him friendly in the arm replying “Jakob is going to freak out when he sees this”.

Billie paid for the package and the men carefully wrapped all the contents and packed it all up in a protective box. They carried it to the car and put it in the boot. Billie and Joey got back into the car, called Adie and put her on speaker so that he wouldn’t get a fine if a policeman was near by.

“Hello,” a small boy’s voice said into the phone obviously being Jakob.

“Hey buddy can you please put mommy on the phone,” Billie said in a sweet and persuasive fatherly tone.

“Oh hey dad, yeah sure mom’s in the laundry,” Jakob replied “HEY MOM!” Jakob yelled trying to get his mothers attention. Billie could hear Jakob’s voice jumping off the wall and echoing out and about throughout the whole house.

“Hey hun, what’s wrong?” Adie finally answered, sounding a little out of breath as she ran quickly from the laundry to the kitchen to get to the phone.

“Hey, listen we got the drum set, it looks pretty awesome, we’re on our way home now do you need anything from the shops, like food or anything?”

“Oh that’s terrific news, well since the shops are on your way we do need a couple of items,” Joey took the phone off speaker and held it to his ear so that his mother could tell him what to buy as he took them down on pen and paper that he found in the car.

Billie and Joey stopped at their local grocery shop, got a trolley and went inside. “ok buddy, what do we need first?” a confident Billie said to his son.

“Ok umm we need milk, bread, eggs err a box of coke, ice cream, and cheese oh and umm tampons,” Joey finished off replying to his dad with a confused and curious face.

Billie stood right in his tracks when Joey read out the last item they needed to buy.

*Billie’s P.O.V*

Why did she have to mention that?

*No ones P.O.V*

All these questions were running in Billie’s head over a dozen times while they were getting their other items.

“Dad, what’s next?” Joey asked. No response was given from Billie, whose mind was in another world all because of the questions he was thinking of.

“Umm dad, hello,” Joey said once more this time clicking his fingers in front of Billie. He immediately blinked and came back to reality saying “what! sorry buddy umm I was thinking of something else for a moment there,” Billie replied.

“Yeah think away...don’t mind me,” Joey answered with a slight smirk wanting to appear on his face but didn’t.

They came into the personal hygiene isle of the super market heading towards the last item they needed when Billie said “Joey, since you know the brand of shaving cream I use can you go get me a bottle from the guys section?” looking at his son who was looking at the products surrounding him.

“Alright dad,” Joey replied, as he quickly walked down the isle to that section while Billie remained where he was searching for the tampons he’s wife usually bought.

Hmm which one does she normally get? Is it Carefree or Wings or Libra? Billie thought to him self. He was getting nervous and very uncomfortable as many women where surrounding him taking what they needed. Then Joey came up to him with the shaving cream he used.

“Gillette for sensitive skin right dad?” Joey asked holding up the can to show him.

“Oh yeah Joey, thanks buddy” Billie replied, laughing lightly with an embarrassed facial expression.

“Are you alright, you look a bit red, actually more like pink” Joey questioned, wondering as to why his father was becoming a darker shade of red.

Then with just more luck three teenage girls came up to Billie. The three of them all had really obvious smirks on their faces. They looked like teenies but they didn’t sound like them at all. One of them lightly tapped Billie on the shoulder.

“Hello, sorry to disturb you or anything but can we all please have your autograph, because we really love Green Day a lot” one of the girls asked.

*Joey’s P.O.V*

“Oh great did they have to come now” was the first thing that hit me as I was looking at dad who just looked at them blankly and then he shook his head in a way for him to sort of snap out of the gaze he was in and sign autographs for the girls. How easy was it for him to pull off a smile like that I mean it looked as if his smile meant ‘lets pash’, does he do that with all the people he signs autographs for especially teenage girls? And you’d think I was talking about a toothy smile but it wasn’t, it was just an ordinary smile without showing your teeth.

“You must be Joey,” said one of the girls that were done with my dad and coming to me now.

“Yeah that’s right, I wonder how you knew that” I replied smiling a little.

“You are like the luckiest kid to ever been born, you’re so lucky to have your dad as a rock star; do you know how cool that is” the girl again said, as if I’ve never heard that before.

“Well what can I say I guess I am the chosen one” I replied winking and smiling in a way that meant ‘okay I’ve got to go now’.

What’s taking dad so long? How long does it take to write down your bloody signature in which you have done a gazillion times already?

“Hey Joey, before I leave I know you probably hate people doing this to you and everything but here’s my email anyway just in case you would like to add me to your contacts list on msn so we can chat later,” she said in a very sweet and innocent voice.

“Oh thanks I will add you,” I replied, as I took the note from her. She’s sweet I thought. I’ve never actually had anyone giving me their email when I thought about it properly.

The girls went right and we went left heading for the cash register so we could get this shopping over and done with. Of course seeing as my dad came completely noticeable everyone wanted a piece of Billie Joe. After signing exactly 14 autographs and yes I counted them we finally made it out of the shopping centre and into the car.

“Oh god,” I sighed out loud as I sat in the front seat and felt the numbness rush into my legs and back after having to wait an hour standing.

“Geez buddy we go into the shopping centre for like an hour and you’re already tired,” my dad said, replying to my saying, buckling his seat belt, scuffing his hair and turning on the car’s engine all at once. Well he’s a champ at multi tasking I thought. Oh wait I should say something because he did ask me a question and I haven’t replied yet because I’m concentrating too much with what he is doing.

“Can we just go home now,” I finally replied to him in an exhausted tone.

“Well where else would you think of going besides home,” he said now driving out of the car park and onto the busy road.

The ten minute drive home was dead silent. Dad didn’t say anything to me and I didn’t say anything to him. He’s never been silent to me before, he always talks about the most random stuff with me and when he didn’t talk I knew that he was thinking about something serious. I almost fell asleep but the drive was too short. We parked into our drive way, got our shopping and opened the front door.

“We’re home,” My dad sang.