Dad, what’s masturba- JOEY NOOO!
Jakob's Birthday Party
“Cody, you better run I’m going to get you” Jakob shouted out, all hyped up on chocolate, soft drinks, lollies and anything else you would expect to find at a typical children’s birthday party. The kids were running in and out of the house chasing each other with silly string laughing and giggling with each other.
The time now was 2:30pm and Jakob’s birthday party was full of fun and games that his mum and dad had organised. There was a jumping castle outside in the backyard along with their water slide that was attached to their enormous rock pool. The adults all sat comfortably on the patio drinking their wine and eating the appetizers provided. Adie had invited all of Jakob’s friends along with their parents to come to the party, Billie had invited all of his friends, obviously the first two being Mike and Tré, as well as his mates that he usually had over when he was at home. Joey invited his best friend Ryan Becker, so he wouldn’t die of boredom chasing little 8 year olds around the backyard; instead they filled their time by playing on the water slide and spraying each other with water guns. The weather was calm, warm and perfect. Not a cloud in the sky.
“Jakob, look at the camera” Billie said to his son holding up the video camera, filming the eventful day.
“HI DAD” Jakob yelled to the camera from a far away distance.
“Hi” said the rest of the sixteen children jumping on the jumping castle with Jakob all waving and looking at the camera.
“Tré what do you have to say to us today?” Billie said zooming in on Tré waiting for his response.
“Well since this is a family video I guess I can’t say anything X rated” Tré replied smiling a very cheeky grin and lifting his eyebrows, “Happy dangerous birthday Jakob” Tré replied again this time blowing kisses to the camera like a lady.
Typical Tré.
After filming everyone on the camera, it was now time to cut the cake. Adie and a couple of ladies went to the kitchen to get everything and Billie collected all the kids and sat them all around their table. Then Adie came out with a really nice cake. The design of the cake was the Adeline Skull and it was all covered in chocolate icing and filled with chocolate mud.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JAKOB, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU” everyone cheerfully sang as the cakes candles where waiting to be blown out.
“HIPIP HORRAY” Tré shouted out loud three times holding his young son Frankito. Everyone was telling Jakob to make his wish before he blew out the candles.
Jakob’s P.O.V
What should I wish for? I thought to myself. I’ve got everything I’ve always wanted so what’s to wish for? A million dollars? Or how about to stop world hunger? Why didn’t I think about this before? I need to make a wish now; they’re all looking at me.
“Come on buddy make your wish before the candles melt” my dad told me smiling happily.
I got closer to the candles, closed my eyes and made my wish.
No one’s P.O.V
Everyone clapped loudly and cheered as Jakob blew out his sparkling candles. He then held the knife carefully and cut the cake. Mike was capturing this whole moment on Billie’s video camera as Adie, Billie and Joey surrounded Jakob to take a beautiful family photo. Then all the guests took many photos with their children with Jakob. It was like Jakob was the most famous celebrity in town and the paparazzi was taking a thousand photos every second. The lights gleamed so brightly from the camera’s light it was almost blinding him. Luckily enough the sun had gone down by the time the photos were taken and the stars began to gradually appear in the night sky. Everyone was sitting down eating their cake and other desserts that were on the table. Jakob looked around searching for his dad, but he couldn’t find him. Tré and Mike weren’t there either.
“Mum where’s dad?” Jakob questioned his mother gently tapping her shoulder.
“Oh umm he went to go get something” Adie replied in a very unsure voice.
Adie knew exactly where Billie had gone, she even knew that Tré and Mike where helping him. She couldn’t possibly spoil the surprise for Jakob but she couldn’t lie to that sweet innocent face of his either.
“Hey sweetie, do you want to open your presents soon?” Adie asked Jakob trying to change the subject
“Yeah of course I do” Jakob replied with a very childish smile.
“Okay Jake, soon you will but for now why don’t you go and play something fun with your friends so I can get everything ready” Adie sweetly said fixing Jakob’s hair a little from the front.
Outside in the garage from the front of the house Billie, Mike and Tré where gathering up their surprise for not only Jakob, but for everyone else. They were organising the fire works Tré had bought for the party. He had bought some customised fireworks and some normal ones.
“Man I can’t wait to see this one go off” Tré excitedly said holding up a very long and big tube that was multi coloured all over.
“Yeah I think they’re all going to be fantastic” Mike replied unwrapping and gathering bundles of fireworks.
“Dude this isn’t even legal!” Billie exclaimed holding up a very thick tube that was around a meter long.
“Hahaha Bill man since when have we ever been doing stuff that is legal” Tré replied laughing a lot.
“Wow Tré that is like the smartest thing I’ve ever heard from you” Mike replied smiling
“Hahaha good point Tré, I guess it shouldn’t really matter -I mean, we don’t do this everyday now do we?” Billie said with a worried but happy face.
Joey and Ryan had gone upstairs to Joey’s room after the photos where taken downstairs. Ryan was desperate to show Joey something on the internet. Something adults wouldn’t approve their children seeing.
“What the?” Joey said but was lost for words to continue what he was going to say.
“I’ve seen this video before” Ryan replied.
“Man if my parents caught us right now I don’t know what they’d do” Joey finally said.
“Apparently we can download them and put them onto our PSP’s” Ryan replied.
“Are you serious? How? “Joey asked focused on the video he was watching.
“I don’t know but you know James in school, he showed me a video he put on his PSP”
Ryan said
“BOYS COME DOWN HERE THE SURPRISE IS READY “Adie yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
The boys got a shock of fright and Joey pulled the computer plug out of the PowerPoint.
“BE RIGHT THERE MUM” Joey replied back.
“OKAY HURRY” Adie retorted.
“Damn that was close” Joey said to Ryan feeling his heart beating fast and his mouth drying up.
“Yeah it was a bit surprising” Ryan replied forcing a laugh to try and hide the fact that his heart skipped a few beats when Adie called.
“How do you watch these at home? I mean when your parents are there” Joey asked
“I’ve only seen this stuff about 2 times and I’ve watched them when everybody is asleep like around 3am” Ryan replied
“3 in the morning!” Joey exclaimed now closing his bedroom door and walking down the stairs with Ryan.
The two boys made their way outside where everyone else was and were waiting for the surprise that was about to be revealed. Within the time Joey and Ryan where upstairs, Mike, Tré and Billie managed to set up the fire works in the garden. Everything was all set, the only thing now was a single flame to light them one by one.
“Okay everyone, where about to reveal the surprise we’ve been preparing for” Billie spoke out loud, standing up on his chair so that everyone could pay attention to him.
“Surprise?” Jakob replied with a confused, curious and excited look all at once.
“Now the only way this is going to work is to get everyone to sing the countdown” Billie replied with a charming smile on his face.
Tré was going to be the one to light them all up, he signalled Billie to tell him that he was set and ready to fire.
“Are you ready?” Billie asked everyone
“YES” everyone replied back
“10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,0” the whole crowd yelled out loud all at once
The first small fire works went off into the sky. Pink, purple, red, orange, blue, green, white sparks filled the night sky. They got louder and bigger as the guests stared up in amazement. Mike was filming it all on video once again; Billie and Adie were happy and smiling. Tré was cheering with Frankito and all the children followed him
“WOW”
“OOOH”
“AHHH”
All you could hear where the sound’s of the fire works and the echo of the people’s voices cheering in amazement. There was not one face that was looking in any other direction but up into the sky. Then after the normal fire works had finished the customised ones came into contact with the fire and launched right up into the sky. They exploded with pictures. One picture was an electric guitar, another was a smiley face; then the last fire work was launched, it was the most important one out of them all, and it exploded reading the words ‘happy 8th birthday Jakob Danger Armstrong’ with a bright white skull right underneath the letters. It lasted for 10 seconds up in the air and disappeared.
“WOOHOO” everyone cheered clapping very loudly.
“THAT WAS SOO COOL” Jakob exclaimed all hyped up once again smiling with laughter. You could see so much happiness on that boy’s face.
“That was killer” Ryan remarked as he looked at Joey
“Hell yeah! that was awesome” Joey replied
“MUM, MUM, DAD THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN, THANK YOU SO MUCH” Jakob ran up to his parents hugging his dad and his mum.
“Aww buddy your welcome; but we didn’t come up with this plan, your uncle Tré did” Billie told Jakob kneeling down to his height smiling at him.
“UNCLE TRÉ” Jakob yelled at the top of his lungs to get his attention whilst running up to him
“AHHH STAY AWAY FROM ME” Tré screamed in a joking manner and then laughing, bending down and opening up his arms and hugging his godson tightly.
“Thank you so much Uncle Tré” Jakob said to him smiling and hugging him back with all the energy he was pumped with.
“That’s your birthday present from me Aunty Claudia, Ramona and Frankito” Tré replied.
“Why didn’t you fly Ramona here to Berkley to see it and be at my party?” Jakob questioned.
“Because her mum doesn’t let her take a break when she’s at school” Tré replied.
“But its Saturday, I mean there’s no school in New York today” Jakob answered back.
“Yeah I know buddy, but her mum she’ll come up with any excuse not to let her come here” Tré said with a sad expression slowly forming on his face.
“Jakob sweetie its time to open your presents” Adie called out.
“Okay mum I’m coming” Jakob replied back.
Jakob sat in the centre of the circle the kids had formed with all his presents surrounding him except one. The first present he opened was from his best friend Cody which was the new Robosapian multimedia walking, talking robot.
“Awesome, thanks so much Cody” Jakob said out loud focusing on its cover looking at all its features very quickly.
Another very good friend of Jakob got him the latest Guitar Hero for his PS2. He thanked him also. Adie had taught Jakob well with what respect and manners meant in this world. Jakob received other really nice, expensive gifts, all of which were toys.
Billie had set up Jakob’s Drum set in the living room and covered it with a blanket just in case he came inside and saw it before he was meant to.
“Is there anything left” Jakob asked happy that he was finished with opening up his presents. It’s not easy for an 8 year old to open up around 25 birthday presents (this is including Billie’s friends and also Adie’s) reading out the card and thanking who ever got the present.
“There’s just one more Jakob but we all have to go inside to see it” Billie replied with a small smirk appearing on his lips.
“Can’t you bring it out here” Jakob asked.
“I would if I could” Billie answered back.
Everyone made their way into the grand lounge room, the adults sat on the couches and the kids sat on the floor. Billie went to Joey and handed him a suede leather box, the one’s they put designer pens in though this box contained those customised drum sticks with Jakob’s name on them.
“You give this to Jakob and tell him happy birthday and that this gift is from you, me and your mum” Billie whispered in Joey’s ear so that no one else would hear.
“Alright I will” Joey replied taking the box from Billie.
Everyone was beginning to quiet down so that Jakob’s present could be revealed. Joey stood right next to the drum set that was hidden by a big blanket and he called Jakob up to stand next to him.
Everything now was dead silent and all eyes where on Joey and Jakob.
“Jake you will always be an annoying, smart-ass, funny, weird but loving little brother. We will always be best buds and at times we’ll also hate each other to death. Today you have turned eight and today you’ve had one of the best times of your life. Now before you open up what’s in this box and unveil what’s under that gigantic sheet, I want to wish you a happy birthday and hope for the best of luck with what ever your going to encounter in your life” Joey recited from the top of his head. He had that brotherly smirk on his face and Jakob had a shy smile on his face. He held out the box and handed it to Jakob.
Adie was smiling and had happy tears running down her face and what’s to say what Billie was feeling. He was standing behind Adie and had his arms wrapped around her waist. His face was gleaming with happiness. He spoke in a very low voice to Adie and said “We’ve got the best boys in the world”. She nodded in response and focused on Jakob who was about to lift the lid of the box.
Tré was now the man filming and focused the camera onto Jakob’s face.
Jakob’s P.O.V
I can feel my heart beating really fast. Everyone is focused on me now and what’s in this box. I wonder what’s in it. I lifted the lid gently and finally revealed to my self what’s been hiding in this box. No way, you can’t be serious. Drum sticks “customised drum sticks!” I said out loud feeling my cheeks go all red and my mouth forming a really big grin.
“You got me a drum set!” I exclaimed leaping from where I was and lifting up the blanket to reveal the hidden object.
No one’s P.O.V
As Jakob took off the big white sheet the drum set was finally revealed showing off its brand new freshly painted body and shining metal. Jakob went ballistic when he saw his very own drum set with all the graphics. Everyone was well amazed making sounds like ‘ooo’ and ‘ahh’. All the kids stood up with amazement and surrounded Jakob.
“OMG OMG OMG” Jakob screamed out loud with so much happiness jumping up and
down.
“Thank you so much Joey” he said in a high pitched voice squeezing his older brother with hugs.He ran right around the room to go hug his parents and practically leapt into his fathers arms.
“You like it buddy?” Billie asked smiling back holding his son.
“Do you like the graphics?” Adie asked him kissing his cheek and flicking his hair.
“Yes, I love it from head to toe, it’s so awesome!” Jakob replied looking at both of his parents focusing on their facial expressions.
“Go try it, see how it sounds, but don’t play something to loud” Billie said to his son winking and smiling at him.
Jakob ran back to where his drum set was placed and the kids made way for him so that he could sit down on the seat and begin to play. He took hold of his drum sticks and started playing the one and only song he learnt by Tré, Holiday.
“WOOT! GO JAKOB” Tré screamed from the back. He might have only just turned eight years old but the kid was playing like a pro. Billie himself was amazed. He played with perfect timing and of course perfect sound. If there’s one thing Jakob inherited from his father’s side of the family, it must have been his grand father’s gift of playing the drums.
He finished off the last beat and everyone clapped very loudly. It was a very special moment for Jakob, as this was his first time ever to perform in front of a crowd that size. You’d think the children would be the ones cheering the loudest, instead the adults where the ones cheering louder than usual.
“That was totally wicked” Cody said to Jakob.
“Yeah that was really cool” another friend added.
“Thanks, my uncle Tré taught me” Jakob replied grinning with pride.
***
Two hours later the house was finally empty. The time was now 10:30pm and the Armstrong family had had enough for one whole day. Joey and Jakob had gone up stairs to both take showers and change into their pyjamas while Adie and Billie remained downstairs cleaning outside on the patio and throwing away the rubbish.
“Babe, this was lots of fun aye” Billie said to Adie holding with one hand a huge garbage bag and with the other hand throwing things in to it.
“Yeah everyone had a really fun time” Adie replied placing the chairs around the table.
“You know I’m really proud of Joey though, the way he presented that speech I didn’t even know about” Adie once again said.
“I know; how did he come up with that, did he plan it before?” Billie replied.
“I really don’t know, but I want to go ask him later” Adie continued on saying.
“He’s such a good boy, you know he makes me happy to be a father” Billie said now tying up the garbage bag.
“And that Jakob… what kind of manners did you teach him when I was away?” Billie said walking up to Adie.
“I know I’m very proud of him, he listened well” Adie replied finished with everything and opening her arms to wrap them around her husband and enjoy the moment.
“I love you Adie” Billie said gently kissing the tip of her nose and focusing deeply into her eyes.
“I love you too baby” Adie replied, smiling one of her smiles that Billie adored.
The couple both kissed passionately right in the centre of their patio in the backyard as the stars and moon shone their light onto the calm dark earth. Joey peeked out of his bedroom window to see his parents kissing and he was happy to see them once again in love.
“Hey Jake come here for a second” Joey told Jakob turning to look back to see if his parents where still in that position.
“What is it?” Jakob answered coming into Joey’s room drying his hair with a towel and putting on his shirt.
“Look out there, see mum and dad” Joey said pointing to his brother to tell him where to look.
“OMG eww they’re kissing” Jakob said out loud.
“Oh please Jakob grow up, your going to be doing that sooner or later” Joey retorted looking at his brother.
“Am not, I’ve got better things to do then kiss a girl” Jakob replied grinning.
“Alright what ever, I just brought you here to see that mum and dad are happy and love each other heaps” Joey said referring to the many arguments a few years back that the boys overheard their parents having.
“Yeah I guess it is sweet to see them happy again” Jakob replied leaving Joey’s room.