Dad, what’s masturba- JOEY NOOO!

*Joey’s P.O.V*

We finally drove back home, and though I was starving to death, I just ran right up to my room and fell onto my bed. I suffocated my face into my pillow and then turned over onto my back, placing my hands behind my head. As of now I was grounded till further notice. I had a whole heap of homework to get through, so I grabbed the end of my school bag and pulled it closer to me. I opened my book and stared blankly at the page I was to fill out for English. I was to write a two page recount about my summer holiday.

“Fuck this shit!” I muttered angrily to myself, picking up my book and throwing it across my room. I pushed my face back into my pillow, feeling angry tears merge out of my eyes. I rubbed them, quickly eliminating the fresh tears that had managed to escape. A little knock was heard at my door. I slowly lifted my head from my pillow and looked up at the door.

“Joey, it’s me …can I come in,” Jakob asked, turning the door knob to find that it was unlocked.

“What is it?” I replied sadly, looking up at his slightly crimson red face. I gripped my fingers tightly into my pillow as we both just stared at each other. He was obviously looking at my eyes, wondering why I was crying.

“Why are you crying? What happened?” he questioned again, seating himself on the chair in my room.

“Look, can you please just leave me alone…I’ve had enough of answering questions for today alright,” I replied, tired and sick of the day I had to endure. I moved my head to the side and closed my eyes, expecting him to leave.

“Are we really getting our PSP’s confiscated for the whole school year?” Jakob said again, changing the subject and ignoring what I wanted from him.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care…please leave before I lose my patience with you!” I exclaimed, my voice slightly rising a little and my eyes meeting with his, to give him that look of seriousness.

“Alright, alright, geez sorry for wanting to care,” Jakob retorted, rolling his eyes and walking out of my room, closing the door after him.

*End of Joey’s P.O.V*

*Billie’s P.O.V*

“So you’re saying that Ryan is the reason why Joey’s been watching those films,” Adie asked, fixing me up a cup of black coffee, in the kitchen. I sat on the stool around the counter top leaning against my arm.

“Well after finding out from Joey, which boy he got the memory card from, it is pretty obvious,” I replied, taking the coffee mug from her hands.

“So…did you try and talk to him about it?” she asked me, nudging my arm a little, smiling sweetly.

“I tried to…I really did, but it just wouldn’t work…he tried to change the subject and avoid it all,” I replied, trying to recap what happened with me and Joey.

*Recap*

“Joey,” I spoke, my head was lowered down staring straight at the floor, surprisingly my heart was beating normally and I wasn’t feeling dehydrated, like I usually felt when I was in a serious position.

“Y...yeah,” Joey responded to me, moving his whole body across the log, turning towards me.

“What do you know about…sex?” I questioned, turning my head around and facing him.

“Dad, if this is going to be a conversation about where babies come from then stop, because you told me when I was like five years old…and I’ll never forget it,” Joey said back ,obviously wanting me to instantly stop, right there and then.

“Oh yeah, I did didn’t I,” I replied back, trying to think back.

*End of Recap*

“I remember that, you told me about it in the car remember,” Adie replied, referring to how I told Joey when he was five.

*Flashback*

Billie Joe sat comfortably against his sofa, watching the television set in front of him preview the latest television commercials. Suddenly a little head popped up in front of him, blocking his view of the T.V screen.

“Hello mister,” Billie said to his five year old son, gently picking him up seating him next to him on the sofa.

“Daddy, where did Jakob and I come from?” the five year old questioned, his innocent small face displaying a curious look.

“Oh, and where is this question coming from?” His father responded, looking down at his son and trying to think of a good answer that would satisfy his five year old mind.

“Well on Sesame Street Big Bird was telling us how animals have babies, and then I started thinking how did mummy have me and Jakob,” Joey innocently answered back, looking up at his fathers complexion, waiting for his response.

“Oh, I get you…okay well let’s see…” Billie said, trailing off to think deeply. “Alright, well when mummy and daddy love each other very much, they give each other a… special hug… and well that’s when you just come along,” he replied, trying to answer his sons question.

“A special hug?” Joey replied, his voice sending the signal that he was confused and wanted an explanation.

“Yeah…it’s a hug only mummy’s and daddy’s can give each other…and nobody else,” Billie explained, slightly talking in a childish voice.

*End of Flashback*

“Oh god, please don’t remind me…Jakob hasn’t asked us yet has he?” I asked, taking a slow sip from my coffee to avoid burning my tongue.

“He hasn’t asked me anything, if he didn’t ask you then maybe he asked Joey,” Adie replied, looking at me, scratching her forehead gently.

“Mmm…maybe he did ask Joey, I’d laugh if he told Jakob what I told him when he asked me,” I said back, sliding off my seat, walking to the lounge room with Adie.

“I wouldn’t be surprised, because Jakob looks up a lot to his brother for advice…I think so anyway,” she talked, hugging me tightly as we both sat together on our couch.

“Well, whatever the case is…in other news…I sort of threatened them in the car about confiscating their PSP’s for the whole school year,” I replied, turning my head to the side to meet with her gorgeous face.

“Babe, that’s got nothing to do with what we were talking about,” Adie remarked, laughing at the thought of how I switched subjects.

“I felt like changing subjects,” I replied, pouting my lips as a smirk twitched at the corner of my mouth.

“Has this got to do with punishing Jakob for yesterday’s doing and Joey’s memory card?” She questioned, turning her whole body, placing her legs across my lap and resting her body across the comfortable sofa.

“Well, its more of Joey’s doing…I don’t want Jakob to fall under that category if Joey decides to show him that stuff, so that’s why he is in it as well… Do you think it’s too much for a punishment?” I answered, looking down at her as she focused her eyes on the skirtings of our ceiling.

“Mmm…yes and no I guess…I mean I don’t think Joey would show that to Jakob, but maybe Jakob would find out about it and decide to download it off the net or something like that,” Adie responded, gazing at me momentarily and then focusing her attention at the television that was on mute.

“As far as I’m concerned, Mike is going to install parental control systems on our computers to disable them from doing anything close to that,” I replied, feeling confident that my best friend was a whiz at computers.

“I wouldn’t put it past Jakob, over riding that program and getting passed it effortlessly,” Adie retorted, slowly moving up to adjust the cushion behind her back. I gave her a curious look.

“Err…why Jakob?” I asked confusedly.

“Billie, don’t tell me you forgot the time when we got called in to the school last year, because Jakob found his way past the schools internet firewall and managed to let the other students in his class watch a violent episode of happy tree friends,” Adie replied, wanting me to not forget that incident.

“Oh…oh yeah, I completely forgot about that,” I replied, the incident coming to my mind slowly.

“Sometimes he is just too smart for his own good that boy,” Adie muttered under hear breath, but loud enough for me to hear. I nodded in response, changing my attention towards the Adeline bag that was placed on our formal dining table.

“Hey, didn’t you tell me that there was a surprise for me on the phone?” I replied, eyeing the bag looking at her to take notice of what I meant.

“I completely forgot about it,” She answered, getting up from her comfy spot and walking towards the formal table to grab whatever was in the plastic bag. She pulled the item that was in the bag and walked back to me, opening up what looked like a shirt.

“Oh wow!” I exclaimed, looking at the wicked design of the shirt.

“Do you like it? Amy and I thought up of the bullet strap design,” Adie replied, pleased that I loved the shirt she had brought me.

“I love it, I am going to wear this when I go to New Orleans,” I said to her, getting up from my position to take off my top to try it on.

“Oh and one more thing,” Adie replied, pulling out something else from the bag. “Now these are a maybe…I don’t know if we should put them up for Adeline,” She said again, opening it up to reveal boxer shorts, with what looked like a thousand Adeline skulls printed on the material in white.

“Are you kidding,” I retorted, taking it from her to take a closer look, “Babe these are so fucking cool!” I exclaimed, my mouth grinning like a six year old. Adie laughed at my reaction. “I’m going to try these on as well,” I said again, undoing my pants and sliding them off.

“Perfect fit,” Adie said, observing the edges and neat cut of my new clothes like a mother would do to her little son.

“I look rather smashing, don’t you think,” I replied, imitating a sophisticated English accent. As I slipped them off about to put my original clothes back on, Jakob decided to walk in.

“Err…” Jakob said, lost for words obviously finding this moment really confusing.

“Ok, it’s not what it looks like,” I replied, picking up my clothes to cover my almost naked body. I heard Adie giggle as she walked into the kitchen.

“Yeah…sure,” Jakob replied, with a cheeky smile across his face.

“Don’t you have homework to finish off?” I questioned back, giving him a sly smile as I slipped my pants back on.

“It’s all finished and the Simpsons are on, so move over because I want to sit here,” Jakob replied, pushing me aside to sit where me and Adie were sitting a few minutes before.

“What’s Joey doing? Did you talk to him?” I asked, as I walked closer to the entrance of the kitchen to go back to Adie.

“Well…he’s doing his homework and he doesn’t want to talk to anyone,” Jakob responded, turning up the volume of the T.V.

“Mmm…alright,” I said, walking off into the kitchen.

“Adie, you never replied to me when I asked you about the PSP thing,” I whispered to her, as
to not let Jakob hear.

“Well…just confiscate them for about a month, or until we see that they’ve learnt their lesson, a whole school year will psychologically kill them,” Adie replied, talking in a much higher voice then I did.

“Fine, I guess that’s alright…in a way,” I replied, watching her pick up the phone to dial a number. She looked up at me and shook her head in a positive response with a smile.

“Who are you calling?” I questioned, wanting to go up stairs and take a shower.

“Amy, I want to tell her that you loved the shirt and boxers,” She replied again, smiling a toothy happy smile.

“Okay, I’m going to go take a shower then,” I said, leaving the room and heading up to my bathroom.

*End of Billie’s P.O.V*

***
After Adie ended the call with Amy, she heated up the leftover lunch that Joey missed out on, to take it up to him.

“Joey, I brought you some dinner to eat sweetie,” Adie spoke from outside of Joey’s door.

“I’m not hungry,” Joey lied stubbornly.

“Are you sure, because I made your favourite…macaroni with cheese, just the way you like it,” Adie replied, her smile slowly fading.

“I don’t care, I’m not hungry!” Joey exclaimed angrily. Adie twisted the door knob to find it locked.

“Okay fine, when you feel hungry you can go down to the kitchen and eat whatever you want!” Adie exclaimed back, annoyed at how Joey had locked his bedroom door and how he was behaving.

“Fine by me,” Joey spat back rudely.

Billie walked out of his room, holding a towel in his hands to dry his hair.

“Babe, what’s going on?” Billie asked, over hearing his wife and son fighting from the bathroom.

“Nothing hun, it’s just I thought he would want to eat something and well it seems like I’m wrong,” Adie replied disappointedly, heading for the stairs, holding the plate of food with her left hand.

“Leave him, if he’s going to continue giving us attitude back then he can starve for all I care,” Billie said back, shaking his head negatively as he looked at his son’s bedroom door. “Can I have the plate of food then…my tummy is hungry,” Billie said again, smiling childishly.

“Sure thing,” Adie replied, handing him the plate then walking down the stairs.

“Hey Adie, I know your going to still say no but here me out first…instead of going up to Minnesota next week, come with me and the kids and bring Amy with you,” Billie pleaded, stuffing his mouth with macaroni and cheese, leaving a milky imprint on his lips.

“I’ll think about it,” Adie replied from the bottom of the stair case, about to laugh at her husbands face, as his hair was sticking up in all directions, and his mouth was covered in the food he was eating.

“What’s so funny,” Billie questioned, eyeing his wife, wanting her to reply.

“Oh nothing,” Adie replied, walking off giggling quietly.

Billie sat down at the top of the stair case, leaning his back on the wall continuing to eat. He continued staring at Joey’s door, thinking deep thoughts. Then suddenly sharp, angry sounds blasted out from Joey’s room. He was playing the intro of Master of Puppets, by Metallica, though it sounded perfect, the rest of the household couldn’t take the level that Joey was playing at.

“DAD, TELL JOEY TO TURN IT DOWN!” Jakob screamed from the bottom of the stairs, his words sounding muffled by the noise of the 400watt amplifier.

“JOEY, TURN IT DOWN” Billie screamed, banging at Joey’s door to get him to stop.
He continued playing on, until he came to an end, hearing the loud knocks on his door from his father.

“JOEY! Open this door, right now!” Billie demanded, his voice speaking at a much lower voice now that the song came to an end.

“I’m sorry, I won’t play it that loud again,” Joey replied from the other side of the door.

“I don’t care, open this door now!” Billie exclaimed, his voice getting a bit more aggressive.

Joey didn’t want to cause anymore trouble to himself, so he gave in and unlocked his bedroom door. As the door opened slowly, his face appeared from behind the door, revealing his dark brown eyes that still looked teary. Billie pushed the door to fully open it and walked into Joey’s room. Jakob remained outside of Joey’s room to hear what his father was going to say.

“I don’t ever recall you, playing that loud on your guitar,” Billie said, facing Joey with his arms crossed. He looked down at him and observed his eyes that looked like he was crying a few minutes ago.

“I’m sorry…I was just angry and wanted to hear what it would sound like at that volume,”
Joey stated, his facial expression pleading with forgiveness.

“Have you forgotten what happens when you’re grounded?” Billie said, gazing at his son’s bedroom, looking at the chaotic mess his son had created within the few hours he had been inside his room.

“I’m not allowed to play on my guitar,” Joey muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes as he looked down to the side of the floor.

“What was that? I didn’t exactly hear you loud enough,” Billie retorted, the serious look in his eyes continuing to look down at Joey.

“I said I’m not allowed to play on my GUITAR,” Joey replied, raising his head to look up directly at his father and yell out the last word with anger.

“Glad you remembered…take them down to the studio,” Billie ordered, looking at his feet momentarily then right back up at Joey.

“What! No dad please, I…I won’t play on it, I swear,” Joey replied, his face looking shocked and sad.

“JOEY, TAKE THEM DOWN RIGHT NOW BEFORE I BREAK THE GUITAR!” Billie yelled, standing aside pointing his finger at the door. When Jakob heard his father scream, he decided it was best to go to his room before he would come out and find that he was eavesdropping on the conversation.

Joey didn’t reply, he unhappily turned off his amp and unhooked his guitar to take them down to the studio like his father said. He walked out with his guitar, making Billie hold the amplifier that most probably weighed more then he did. They walked slowly down the stairs, Joey leading the way to Billie’s studio. Billie’s eyes met with Adie’s as they passed through the kitchen, he shook his head disappointedly as he followed Joey.

“Put it down here,” Billie informed, placing down Joey’s heavy amplifier and opening up an empty guitar case. Joey placed it in the case gently, and then walked off angrily, crossing his arms as he made his way to the kitchen.

Joey went up to the refrigerator to pick out something to eat, his mother taking a glance at him as she finished up ironing the big load of clothes. He grabbed his plate of food and a can of soda, making his way up to his bedroom. Before going to his room he decided to go to Jakob’s instead.

“Hey Jake, look I’m sorry for acting all shitty to you before, can you forgive me?” Joey asked, closing Jakob’s door behind him.

“Well, if you let me drink half of your soda then sure,” Jakob cheekily replied.