Not So Happily Ever After

'No it can't be' I thought looking at the tv, I hurried to the kitchen. I threw things out of my purse looking for my phone.

”Where the heck is it?!” I said annoyed still trowing things around.

I didn't find it so I ran to the closet, maybe it was in my jacket?

No not there either, I let out a frustrated sigh as I tried to remember where I had left it.

Luckily it started ringing, it was upstairs. I ran as quickly as I could and answered ”Jack?”

”No Honey, it's Amanda” My friend said over the phone.

I wave of disappointment came over me and I leaned back on the wall and slid down.

”Hey, what's up?” I asked trying to hide my disappointment.

”I just wanted to see how you where doing” She said ”I just saw on the news”

”I don't know anymore, it's complicated and I don't know what I should be feeling” I said thinking back on the good times.

As soon as I stepped into the apartment a smell of dinner filled the air. When I came into the living room a table for two had been set and candles where lit.

I smiled to myself as I felt something other then the floor under my feet, I looked down to see the floor was covered in blood red rose petals.

When I looked back up I saw Jack walk in from the kitchen, he was holding a glass of white wine.

”Welcome home” he said handing me the wine and kissing me on the cheek.

”You're home early” I said taking a sip of the wine.

”I asked my father if it was ok if I left early” Jack said smiling.

”You've never done that before” I said surprised but happy ”What's the occasion?”

”You'll see” Jack said grinning as he walked back into the kitchen ”Dinner will be ready soon”

I shook my head and went to sit down in the couch.

-

”My lady” Jack said pulling out the chair for me as I was about to sit down.

Then he disappeared in to the kitchen again, few seconds later he came back carrying two plates and putting down one in front of me and the other for him.

”I made all your favorite dishes, as a starter Wild mushroom and garlic soup with dried onion and fresh tarragon” He said sitting down ”Main course chicken stuffed with mozzarella and wrapped in parma ham”

”Sounds good and desert?” I asked smiling, I had always been a little sugar monster and I was eager to hear what he had for desert.

”I know this to be your absolute favorite desert of all time: White chocolate pudding with buckthorn and wild strawberry sauce” He said in triumph.

”You know me so well” I said feeling a bit emotional ”I Love you”.

”I love you to” Jack said putting his hand on mine.

We ate the soup and once we were done Jack took the bowls back to the kitchen only to return in less then five minutes with the main course and a bread basket.

I reached over to the bread basket and took a pice revealing a green velvet box. My eyes grew wide and I looked up to see Jack kneeling beside me with a serious look on his face. He reached for the green box and opened it revealing a silver and gold ring with a diamond and a sapphire on each side of it, it was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.

”Erin Amelia McLaughlin, I love you more then anything in this world.” he paused and took my hand in his ”I couldn't even imagine my life without you, So I come to you as I am and ask you if you would do me the honor of becoming my wife”

I had tears in my eyes and a lump was stuck in my throat leaving me not able to speak, I nodded my head and threw myself into his arms.

-

”Do you want me to come over?” Amanda asked.

”Yes please” I answered.

”Okay, I'll be there in an hour” Amanda said and hung up.

I sat on the floor for a few minutes before getting back up, I walked downstairs to the living room.

The pictures from the happiest day of my life still hung on the wall. We were so happy, where did we go wrong?

-

”You look beautiful darling” my mother said when I turned around to show her my wedding look.

I could see that she had tears in her eyes ”Oh mom, Don't cry”

”It's tears of joy honey, I'm so happy for you” she said getting up to give me a hug.

When she pulled away she took a good look at me ”I just wish your father could've been here” she said putting a strand of hair behind my ear.

”Me to mom” I said getting a bit sad thinking about my dad.

”Ladies excuse me” Christian said from the door ”It's time”

Jack's dad had offered to walk me down the aisle today and since my dad had passed I accepted his offer.

”Erin you look stunning” Christian said.

”Thank you Dr Shepherd” I said and blushed.

”Oh lease call me Christian, you're soon going to be family” He said and offered his arm which I took.

The church was covered in white and ruby red roses, baby's breath and a lot of green leaves, the church was filled with people whose eyes were on me but I didn't pay them any attention, my prize was standing in the front of the church waiting for me.

The wedding march started and with it Christian and I moved as well, few minutes later I had switched arms and now Jack was leading me the last few feet to the altar.

The priest talked about us, love and marriage. He asked for any objections, there were none and then it was time for our vows.

”Erin, from the first time we met I had this feeling in my whole body that there was something special about you and I had to figure out what it was. After getting to know you I saw that you were not only beautiful, smart, kind and caring but lovely in every single way. People talk about soul mates and I believe I have found mine. I promise to honor, cherish and love you until death do us part” Jack said, tears forming in his eyes with every word he said.

”Jack.” I paused due to a lump in my throat, I tried clearing my throat and continued ”Words cannot describe how much I adore you, from day one I knew that I had spend as much time as I possibly could getting to know you. You have been there for me, taking care of me and helping me through the toughest times of my life. You are perfect in so many ways and life without you wouldn't be worth living. Jack, I was born to love you” I said.

”Jack and Erin have now shared their vows, exchanged rings and now I pronounce them husband and wife” The priest turned to Jack ”You may now kiss the bride”

Jack leaned in and planted a soft, gentle sweet kiss on my lips.

We turned around and looked at our friends, family and co-workers who had gathered here to witness this joyous occasion.

The wedding march started again as we walked to the back of the church where we'd wait for everyone to exit and then exit ourselves.

Rice was thrown on us when we came outside, it was a warm and sunny july day, Jack lead me to the car and we drove away.

-

The doorbell brought me back from my trip to memory lane, I got up from the couch where I had been sitting and walked to the door to let Amanda in.

”Hey you” she said and gave me a quick hug before walking in.

”Thank you for coming” I said.

”Any time honey” she said hanging her coat up.

We sat down on the couch so that we could talk some more, she wanted to know how things were between me and Jack. I told her that I had filed for divorce and that I had already signed the papers. She asked me the question I had already been struggling with: What happened with us?

Our first year of marriage was just fine, a few small arguments when Jack would work so much but noting worse then that. As the next six months passed things actually escalated and things weren't as good anymore until one day I had enough and told him I wanted out. It made me sad to think that that 'eternal' love we talked about didn't last very long.

Now Jack was god knows where and there was nothing I could do.

”I've never felt this useless and helpless” I sighed.

”I can only imagine” Amanda said ”But do you really want to divorce him?”

I sighed again, Amanda knew me so well that she could read me like an open book. She could see I was having doubts about this.

”I do miss him but he works way to much, If he'd be willing to cut down on the work hours and make me a priority then...” I looked down.

”Maybe you'd take him back?” Amanda asked.

”Maybe, If things went back to like they were the first six months” I said smiling thinking about back then. My thought's where interrupted by the doorbell ringing again.

”Who could that be?” Amanda asked as I walked to the door.

”Mrs Shepherd?” it was a courier, in his hand was a big white envelope.

”Yes, I'm Mrs Shepherd” I said.

”Sign here please” He said handing me a pen and a paper to sign.

I did and handed it back to him, he gave me the envelope and wished me a good day. I looked at the envelope, upon turning it I discovered my lawyers logo in the corner.

My heart sank as it dawned on me what I might be holding in my hands, my hands started shaking violently and my pulse was racing. I had to read the paper twice before it sunk in.

”What was it?” Amanda asked poking her head into the hallway.

”It's from my lawyer” I said looking up at her ”Jack signed the papers before leaving.”

I felt sick to my stomach and had to run to the bathroom where everything I had eaten that day came back up.

”Erin?” Amanda shouted through the door whilst knocking ”Are you ok?”

I wasn't ok, I was actually far from it and I didn't even know where to begin to fix this. I decided to unlock the door letting Amanda in.

She wrapped me into a hug as my legs caved and we fell to the floor.

”He's not coming back” I sobbed ”He's probably dead and if he is he died thinking that I don't love him anymore”

Amanda held me in her arms and tried to calm me down but the road to forgiving myself was long and I didn't know what to do next...