Yes

Just as I slammed my door, I ran for the cabinet where I’d put my broken iPhone. I ripped out the simcard and with trembling hands put it in my new phone.

I’d let myself use some money from my savings account now that I knew I was going to have an eventual income.

It wasn’t an iPhone though.

Never again.

I was simply too clumsy to get another one of those fuckers when they break so easily.

I ran to my refrigerator as soon as I had the phone plugged in a charger and ripped off the note with Norman’s phone number. I was mad at him.

Mad for not telling me anything about the movies which apparently were a lot bigger and famous than I could ever have hoped for, mad for not telling me that he was a fucking main character in them and mad for… For…

Fuck.

How could I be mad at him? He had done me the biggest favor ever; he’d actually given me the opportunity to be in a big franchise. And I’d made it. I was going to be in a movie, like, a real one, one with a fan base. One that I knew was going to be watched by many. Why wasn’t I happy?

I started biting my nails.

Should I call him? Thank him? Be mad at him?

I shook my head.

All I knew was that I needed to talk to him. I needed to… I don’t know.

I dialed his number and waited.

A muffled noise sounded from the other end, followed by a very raspy voice: “Hello?”

I looked at my feet as if he could see me, judging me for having been mad at him.

“Hi… Norman?”

Muffling still sounded from his end. What was he doing?

“Oh hi babe, you got yourself a phone… What’s up?”

The noise stopped.

“Um…” I started, confused by the weirdness of the beginning of our conversation. ”I um… I just went to see Troy. I got the part.”

“Oh that’s great! Congrats!”

We fell silent.

What had I expected him to say? Why had I even made the call in the first place?

“Listen Norman, I… I wanted to say thank you so much for giving me this opportunity, I mean… If it wasn’t for you, I would never have gotten the part and… Yeah, so thank you. But…”

He was so very quiet, I almost felt like I was talking to myself.

“But what?”

Okay, so still there.

“But… But seriously, fuck you!”

I heard him laugh out loud and then the flickering of a lighter.

“It’s not funny!” I exclaimed, feeling my emotions reach a breaking point again, “Why didn’t you tell me that you are a freaking main character in them? Or just something, anything about the movies? Troy must have thought me crazy when he knew that we’re friends. Just… What the fuck? And here I am, gonna be freaking naked; I’m gonna be your fucking guardian angel for Christ’s sake! And I haven’t even watched the first two movies, filming’s starting in a month from now and I’m just so…”

I shut up.

Was I seriously letting all this out on him?

“Oh Norman, I…”

His voice cut me off.

“Are you free tonight?” he asked, sounding raspier than ever.

“Um… Yeah, why?”

“I’ll be at your place around eight. I’m bringing dinner, see you!”

And then he hung up.

The silence seemed unbearable as I just stood there; hand in phone and emotions ready to explode.

Why had he just hung up on me? Why had I yelled at him like that? Why was I being such a bitch?

I frowned.

........................................................

I heard a tap on my door and immediately lunched for it. I knew it was him. And I had to apologize. I couldn’t take out whatever feelings this situation had brought up in me.

He wasn’t my reason for being this stressed. And I really shouldn’t be stressed, should I? The thing I had hoped for so badly for such a long time had finally happened.

I didn’t even get a look at him when I opened the door before his lips were on mine.

Rough.

This was the third time he’d kissed me but I still hadn’t gotten used to the reactions it caused my body to experience.

Cheeks burning, animal inside roaring and the feeling of having jelly legs. That would never grow old. I felt like a teenager again when he kissed me like that. But this time the kiss was longer, more passionate. As if we were having a conversation through the lips and tongues that were working between us.

When we both broke off to gasp for air, he finally entered my apartment and put the bag of food he’d brought on the kitchen counter. He shot me a pair of innocent eyes before he breathed: “Sorry.”

I opened my moth to say something.

It was wrong.

He shouldn’t be the one apologizing; I should. I’d already called my mom to tell her the news about me getting a job and tried to explain to her my situation with Norman. She’d made me calm down. And realize that whatever feelings I felt like were brought on by him, were actually just me being nervous for my future job. Which was completely sane, giving thought that this could be my break-through; if I did this well, I could actually make a living out of being an actress.

I pulled myself together and smiled at him.

“No Norman, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You’re just being awesome as usual and I was just overwhelmed by the fact that I got the part, you know? Never apologize for doing that to me, I mean, you’re such a great person and I really appreciate it. So no, don’t be sorry” I rambled out.

He sent me one of his best crooked smiles as he started pulling the food out of the bag.

I moaned.

It was my favorite; Turkish pizza, beer and garlic bread.

“What?” he asked, following my gaze, “Is it the wrong type? I couldn’t remember whether you liked garlic or cheese better…”

He frowned as he sat down at the table. I put the plates down.

“Hm, well I kinda promised myself not to eat stuff like that anymore; I gotta lose some weight before Boondock 3. I mean, you can’t go stuffing yourself with shit when you force people to watch your naked body, now can you?”

I winked at him and popped the caps off the beers.

“Excuse me?” he said with an offended tone.

My eyes widened.

“Oh sorry, no I don’t mean you, of course. I’m talking about myself!” I quickly assured him.

How could he even have considered that I would say that about him? He was like… perfect. You could easily see his muscles but not in that “buff” kind of way that often makes guys look more like gorillas than humans.

I sent him a smile. However, he still looked offended. My brows furrowed in confusion.

“Listen,” he told me while gesturing with his hands for me to sit down, “Don’t do that, okay? Don’t lose weight. Hollywood’s full of skeleton skinny women and I’m sure Troy already looked them through. He picked you for a reason. And that’s not for you to stop eating, okay?”

He dropped down a huge slice of pizza on my plate but I just starred disbelievingly at him.

“But I’m gonna be naked?!” I muffled.

“Yeah so?”

He took a bite and flushed it down with some beer.

“So I have to look good naked for Christ’s sake!”

How did he not get that?

“I’m sure you look perfect naked,” he then said.

My cheeks reddened immediately and I let my eyes fall down on my plate, smiling. I could hear him breathe out heavily but I didn’t look up. I was busy keeping my body under control.

Did he just tell me he thought I looked good naked? My cheeks kept on burning as I let his words sink in.

Had he pictured me naked?

“I’m sorry; that came out wrong,” he said in a serious voice.

I giggled lamely at him, not being able to do anything else. I was so awkward. Also because I knew I had imagined him naked.

At several occasions.

When I was lying in bed.

Alone.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the pictures going through my mind.

You’re having dinner, you’re gonna be co-workers, he’s so much older than you…

Norman got up with a sigh and reached for his jacket, pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one. He sent me a defeated look; shoulders down and arms crossed.

“Look, I…” he started.

His voice sounded off. I lifted an eyebrow.

Spill it, Norman, you got yourself into this, I thought.

He started biting the skin on his thumb. “I shouldn’t have said that but I just can’t… You’re just… Fuck it. Seriously, when I’m with you? You make me so weird. I feel like everything I say is just stupid.”

My mouth opened in protest but he continued before I had a chance to even get one word out.

“No, hear me out, okay? I wanna get this out there. It’s not like you make me feel stupid, hell, it’s the opposite! You just seem so fucking interested in everything I say, like you just wanna sit there and listen to all of my shit. But fuck, deep down I know I’m a dork; I know I’m weird, and that’s why I feel so awkward. You just have to shut me up when you don’t wanna listen, ‘kay?”

“Shut up,” I said, but he waved me off and continued his rambling: “No, I mean, please tell me you don’t wanna have me around or go out with me, I…”

I walked over and put my hand on his mouth and looked him in the eyes. “Norman? I want you to shut up right here and right now.”

His blue eyes bored into mine and a heat started growing in my stomach as it always did when I was this close to him.

“I want you to tell me shit, I want you to come here, I want you to take me out, I want you to kiss me…”

My words stumbled off.

The truth was I felt exactly like he’d just described when I was around him. He put his arms around me and pulled me closer so I could feel his chest against mine and his warm breath on my mouth. I closed my eyes as he let his hands sway up and down my back.

It felt so good.

Even though we hadn’t known each other for very long, it felt so right standing there in his arms. I reached my hand up to his head, intertwining my fingers with his dark hair and couldn’t help but to moan out softly against his neck.

“So you don’t find me boring?” he whispered in my ear.

On one hand I wanted to hit him for being so insecure but I also found it kind of sweet. I liked the way that he could have so many women telling him how amazing and handsome he is, and then still be this down to earth.

“You’re the fucking most interesting person in the world to me right now,” I whispered in his ear.

The air was getting tense. A sort of electricity seemed to surround us and force small sparks to tease every spot he touched me.

“Mmm,” he exhaled as I let my hands wander from his broad shoulders down to the small of his back.

My heart was beating hard in my chest and my blood seemed to be on fire. I sniffed in the scent of his skin and kissed him lightly on his collarbone. I could stand here forever. But as everything else, it had to end.

He suddenly stiffened and pulled his phone out of his pants and looked at it.

“Shit,” he hissed as he grabbed his jacket and sunglasses and strode for the door. “I’m sorry babe, but I gotta go pick up Mingus at Helena’s.”

He’d opened the door and turned around to face me. I was still standing at the kitchen counter where he’d been just before, looking at him with eyes that probably revealed too much.

I wanted him to stay.

And I wanted us to finish whatever we’d just started.

He moaned as his eyes caught mine, his body twitching in my direction. He looked so good as he stood there; lustful eyes, leather jacket and sunglasses in hand and his teeth biting down on his lower lip.

“Fuck, you just look so damn beautiful,” he said and suddenly he was pushing me backwards into the kitchen counter, his hands cupping my face and his lips pressing down hard on mine. His tongue roughly entered my mouth and a moan escaped my lips as I could feel his hips grind against me. He ran his hands down my sides and rested at my hips and pulled me even closer, if possible.

I couldn’t do anything but just enjoy myself as he cupped my breasts and moaned into my mouth.

My body was on fire. He was like a tower coming over me, tall and broad, and I let him do whatever he pleased.

When we parted both are faces were blushed and we didn’t say anything, we just smiled at each other.

He left a little after.