Yes

We were sitting by a table in an almost empty restaurant.

We’d just had lunch; me, Rocco, Sean and Norman. I was so full I didn’t think I would be able to move from the spot. It hadn’t been awkward at all hanging out with the Boondock boys even though I had dreaded it a bit because they knew each other so well. I knew I had to be the odd man out; I was the only girl of the group after all, but they’d really made me feel welcome.

I didn’t say much, though, because I enjoyed just listening to their conversations. They were so funny, especially Sean.

The way that man can tell a story; it’s just hilarious.

Like this one time where he’d been at a fan expo and he’d noticed this one girl, right? And she’d just been staring him down, like, eyes on him constantly and without blinking. He’d insisted on the fact that she really didn’t blink, to make her seem scarier, I guess. So, he was sitting there handing out hugs and autographs and then after some time it was the scary girl’s turn.

“I was feeling so uncomfortable, man, she was all quiet and shit, but then I could see her starting to freak out, right? And then she just bursts out: “I loved you so much in The Walking Dead!” And I was just like… Fuck. That girl? ...”

We all laughed out loud.

How could you mistake Sean for being Norman? They were so different.

I saw Sean as a ladies man; light hair, big muscles, humorous and such a charmer. He could make my cheeks burn oh but so many times in just one hour. Not that I thought of him as someone dateable; hell, I was really in love with Norman. But Sean could just take you places… He was so unpredictable, but in a good way. You could be telling a story and then he would suddenly burst out singing, like, just out of the blue.

And mistaking him for being Norman?

Wow…

Norman was… Well, Norman’s exactly what I would describe as my type; dark brown hair, slim figure, broad shoulders, freakishly cool style, kind of shy and he rides a motorcycle for Christ’s sake! And I didn’t really see him as a ladies man in the same way as Sean; I mean, don’t get me wrong, the ladies dig him, but he’s just not the type that goes out a Saturday night to get chicks. And if he would, he would be the guy that sits in a corner with a drink and just stares you down with mysterious eyes. And you would go mad because you wanted to know what the fuck that guy’s problem was; walk over and just not be able to say anything because his eyes would mesmerize you. Your curiousness would lure you into his arms and his intelligence and artistic ways would just leave you breathless…

God I sound so fucking poetic, don’t I?

I couldn’t really decide whether I liked Rocco or not. He was so strange. He didn’t really say much but when he did, you could never be sure what was going to come out of his mouth. He could suddenly start talking about something really heavy, like the meaning of life or the history of the old Mongolian Empire. Other times he would ask you a question and just nod at your answer.

Like, he asked me: “Could you tell me your favorite color?” And I answered: “Um… Green, I guess. Why?” And he just went: “Oh it’s nothing… Just wanted to know.”

And I just sat there looking at him and thinking: What just happened? Is there some symbolic meaning behind one’s favorite color?

“So, I heard you changed up the lines for your character; Troy told me the other day. That you’re gonna speak in Gaelic or something?” Sean asked as we were strolling down a street on our way back to the hotel later that day.

We’d been sightseeing for so many hours now and my feet were killing me. I couldn’t wait to slam my head against the softness of the pillow in me and Norm’s room. I smiled at Sean while crossing the road with my hand in Norm’s.

“Yeah, I just thought it cooler for her to be more Irish, you know?”

Sean pushed out his lips, narrowed his eyes and nodded.

“Irish just is a wee bit be’er than everyt’ing else, now, idn’it?” he grinned with his lovely Connor-voice.

“Aye,” I chimed and felt Norman give my hand a slight nudge.

I looked up to see a pair of ray bans and that cute crooked smile of his. He looked so damn fine today, even with a hangover.

“And it was just the most awesome thing that Troy let me do it; he’s such a nice guy,” I continued.

We were almost home. My feet were burning.

“Yeah but it really was a good idea,” Norm sounded.

Sean agreed: “Yup, Troy only wants the best. You should give yourself some credit for that.”

I smiled.

I guess I should, I thought.

........................................................................

“So, you and Sean seem to get on pretty well. I’m glad,” Norman sounded from over by the chair at the sliding doors that led to the balcony of our room.

I opened my eyes and smiled lazily. I was really tired and I had let myself crawl under the blanket to give my feet some rest.

“Yeah, he’s a cool dude. Rocco too,” I mumbled.

“Mh,” I could hear his voice sound.

My eyelids had slid close again.

“How do you feel about the whole ‘you-being-naked-in-front-of-all-of-us’ thing?”

My eyes opened wide and I felt my heart skip a beat.

I think I’d happily forgotten that.

I sat up, suddenly not feeling tired anymore.

“I really don’t know,” I said as I started biting the nail on my thumb, “I mean; I’m kind of shitting my pants thinking about it… But again, I know you guys are professionals; you’ve been acting for so many years and… Yeah, I guess, I know it’ll be kind of nerve racking but I’ll manage. You’ve seen me naked before so that’s one person less to be nervous about.”

Norman chuckled.

“I’m actually kinda nervous too,” he said.

“What?”

Why would he be nervous? He’s been naked on film before and had sex scenes and what not.

I sent him curious eyes.

He looked at me with an intent stare before he said: “Well, I know it probably sounds crazy but… I’ve never really had a girlfriend to be my co-worker before and now I do AND I’m gonna be in a scene where me and one of my best buddies are gonna touch you and shit? ‘S gonna be weird.”

I nodded.

I could agree to that.

Norman got up and walked over to sit next to me on the edge of the bed.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m going all jealous on you or something like that at all but… I kinda want you just for myself, you know?”

I smiled.

I hadn’t really thought about what Norman was thinking of this scene. I had been too busy thinking about myself and what I was feeling.

I opened my mouth to answer but Norman spoke before I got to it: “I mean; you’re so fucking beautiful. And I’m so lucky to have you. And I just wanna keep you to myself; I don’t like to think about guys staring at your body, even though it’s just a movie. You know? I’m an actor, I know that that’s what actors do and that it’s just part of your job but I’m still not happy about it. And I’m not asking you to do anything about it; I want you to do it, ‘kay? But I just wanted to let you know that I’m kind of having a hard time dealing with it.”

Wow.

He had actually thought this through. Why hadn’t we talked about it before?

“Oh Norm, I… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be!”

“But you…”

“I know what I just said. But don’t tell me you’re sorry, I knew what kind of role I helped you to get. Just didn’t know I was gonna fall in love with you.”

A heat surrounded my heart, making it pump harder. I reached my hand up to cup his face.

Bubbles and butterflies filled my stomach as he smiled and closed his eyes at my touch.

I loved this man so much.

...

Wait, what?

Did I… did I love him?

Had I just thought that to myself?

I searched my mind for an answer but it had gone completely numb. He made me happy, he cared for me, he was all I’ve ever wanted and he was so good to me.

That’s love, isn’t it?

I looked at him again to find him staring back at me. His crystal eyes had a light shining in them.

Was he perhaps thinking the same as me?

Was I really developing a hardcore serious and love-full relationship with Norman freaking Reedus?

“I love you,” the so familiar raspy voice from the man sitting next to me sounded into my ear.

I melted right there.