Yes

I woke up to a pounding migraine.

My eyelids felt like they were burning, and my mouth was drier than a desert. My cheeks were dry too; they felt all leathery as I yawned down into the pillow.

What the fuck?

I looked at the pillow before me. Dark spots of what looked to be mascara covered the fine white cotton sheet that I’d been sleeping on.

Did I cry yesterday?

Realization hit me like nuclear bombs as I tried remembering why I could’ve been crying last night; we’d had a fight, Norm and I, and I’d felt like shit. And I’d been mad at him, yelling at him, calling him names, and then I’d just… had sex with him?

I searched my mind for a reason to why I would just have sex with him when I’d been so mad; he’d made me feel like shit down at that bar because of whatsherface the starfucker.

I shook my head as I tried to collect my thoughts. That fucking lamp was provocatively shining its light on me just to annoy me, wasn’t it?

Wait, why was it on?

I blinked my eyes rapidly as I looked across the room, only to have them rest on someone sitting in a chair, head resting on a hand that held a cigarette. I froze.

He was just sitting there, eyes out the window on the star covered sky of Toronto and smoking. Not moving, not listening to music and not sitting with his phone. It was in the middle of the fucking night, what was he doing? Had he even been sleeping?

We’d made it home at about… I had no clue. But I knew it was dark when we left the pub and it had been a long night, and it was still dark now. And I could still feel the alcohol in my veins; my head seemed to spin as I laid there, eyes resting on the man that had caused me to cry a few hours ago.

He’d put on his pants on but his torso was bare; it looked so pale and hard in the latent glow of the lamp beside him. It reminded me of a rock; just lighter and more shaped. Human form…

I shook my head.

Alcohol definitely had to be the reason for that stupid comparison.

I bit down on my lip. I didn’t know if I should say something or not. I mean, maybe he needed the time, you know, sit there and think about life or whatever. But then again, I wanted to know what was going on in his mind. Was he maybe thinking about last night? Or this night, I suppose. I sure as hell was…

I didn’t know if I’d overreacted before; maybe I had. I mean, it wasn’t like he’d ignored me completely; he had come over, kept his eyes on me and so. But he’d still given that girl more attention than me. Not that he wasn’t allowed to talk to other girls or anything, but…

I sighed out loudly.

Norman turned in his chair, his eyes resting on me. “You awake?”

I nodded.

“What’cha doing up?” I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing, I guess. Thinking.”

I sat up on the bed and stretched my back a bit. My muscles felt like I’d been backpacking for a month.

“About us?” I asked in a silent voice.

He nodded, head dropping.

The demon tattoo on his back was more apparent than usual in this light; it looked kind of creepy now, like it was actually a monster crawling up his back. I shrugged.

“I…” he sounded from over by the chair.

He was obviously having a hard time getting this out. I would wait. I needed to hear something from him; anything. So I waited.

“I’m such an asshole,” he sighed out heavily and raised his eyes to look up at the sky out the window again.

“You know, you deserve someone… better. I mean, here I am, 43 years old and still acting like a teenage boy, not being responsible for nothing. Shit. I have a beautiful girlfriend but I let some lame stranger girl hit on me. Anyone could see that. And I just let her do it? What the fuck’s wrong with me? Seriously, babe, I understand if you wanna ditch me, I do, but… I know it’s a lot to ask but… Can we maybe wait till, like, after Boondock? It’s just ‘cause…”

“Norman shut the fuck up!” I exclaimed.

What the fuck was he talking about?

“Are you completely mental? I’m not gonna leave you!? You think I’d leave just ‘cause you let some idiot tattoo boob-lady smile a bit at you? Nu-uh!”

I couldn’t really see his face because of the angle but I could see his cheeks move upwards; he was smiling.

I continued: “I just want you to realize that… that that was some fucked up shit; you don’t treat a girl like that. You don’t do that… And yeah, I was, or am mad at you for doing that. I felt so… left behind, you know? Like I didn’t matter; I was just there for you to take home, you know? And then you’d flirt with her all night and when we would come home, I’d be the one you’re fucking but she’s the one you’re thinking about. I don’t ever want to feel like that. Ever. Got it?”

He got up from his chair and laid down next to me, innocent eyes on my all the way.

“Yes ma’am,” he said in a tiny voice.

I let him wrap his arms around me, and I buried my face in his neck. He smelled so good; like sex and smoke. That was my man. And I knew that. I just had to realize that it was actually me he wanted, and he had to show me so. That was all I wanted him to do.

“I kinda like it when you’re like that,” Norman whispered softly from over my head.

I looked up and saw him smiling down, his stubble scratching my forehead a bit. “Like what?”

“All determined. I like that. Women who know what they want.”

I laid my head back to his chest, listening to his calm heartbeat.

“Babe?” His voice sent a nice bass over my cheeks.

“Mh?”

I was suddenly feeling really tired and my headache was almost killing me.

“I won’t ever make you feel like that again. I promise. You’re just too good for that. I wanna be good to you.”

I kissed his warm skin, letting that be my answer. I was so close to falling into the sweet lands of dreams, having strong arms wrapped around me, warming me, and the bittersweet sensation of blood mixed with alcohol twirling through my system.

I knew I had a long day ahead of me; first day of the set of the third Boondock Saints movie, a lot of new people to meet, new things to learn. I wasn’t going to be shooting tomorrow, my scenes were actually not going to be shot until a week from now, but Troy had told me it would be best for me to come at the same time as the rest of them, to get to know the crew, the atmosphere and so forth because I was kind of new to it all.

A newbie, he’d called me.

I was looking forward to seeing how it all went down; Norman, Sean, Rocco, Troy and all of the others working together. To see Norman work and not just the end results and his different ways or techniques of acting. This would be such an educative experience for me and I couldn’t wait.

Tomorrow was going to… What the hell is that noise?

Ah, my eyes were so freaking sticky.

What was Norman doing?!

A sharp repeating tone was slashing the beautiful silence that had surrounded us and it almost hurt my ears. What the fuck was it?

“Norman, cut the crap!” I yelled out as I pulled my blanket over my head.

Was he seriously pranking me now? In the middle of the fucking night?

“Babe, turn it off,” he sounded to my left, his voice deep with sleep.

Turn what off? I pulled off the blanket to notice that our room was lighted now; sun beams tore through the glass of the windows to crash upon my face, forcing me to squeeze my eyes shut.

No… It couldn’t be…

Was it my freaking alarm?

I reached in under my pillow and frowned as I felt the vibrations of my cellphone.

It was my alarm; ten a.m.

Crap shit motherfucking ass face!

We had to get up now?

But I hadn’t even slept yet…

Had I?