Yes

Okay, where had my week just gone?

Had it slipped right by me without me noticing or what the heck had just happened?

I had just come out the shower and was now standing in front of the mirror; wet hair, a toothbrush in my mouth and a towel wrapped around my body.

I was in a hurry because I needed to be at the set in half an hour. Today was my first day of shooting.

It felt like I’d spent the whole week looking forward to this day, to start working, and now I was standing there, petrified and with a stone heavy as fuck in my stomach.

I’d seen so much; I’d met the whole crew, Willem Dafoe, Billy Connolly, David Ferry, Bob Marley, Brian Mahoney, Gerard Parkes, Robert Pemberton and so many more, I couldn’t even recall all of their names. And of course, I’d also hung out with Sean, Rocco, Norman and Troy. I’d talked to so many people, seen so much from the world of movie-making and learned so much from just this week, I couldn’t even believe it.

I felt like the luckiest person on earth.

And still, I just stood there, scared to death, nervous as hell, and with white mint foam dripping down my chin.

Classy.

“Sweetheart, we gotta… What the fuck, aren’t you dressed yet?”

I twirled around to see Norman standing in the door, sunglasses on, leather jacket in hand and a cig hanging from his mouth.

I groaned and spat the foaming toothpaste out in the sink.

“I… I can’t go, Norm. I…”

My voice came out trembling. Shaking.

Strong arms were wrapped around me, a hard chest leaning into my back and I let my head fall back to rest on Norm’s collarbone.

“You’re gonna be fine, babe, don’t stress out, ‘kay? You know your lines, I know you do, and I’ve seen you practice every day now, you’re gonna be fucking good. So don’t worry!”

He pressed a confirming kiss on my wet locks, and looked at me in the mirror. I wanted to believe him. But my stomach told me otherwise.

“But I… You’re all so freaking good, I mean, Willem Dafoe? Billy Connolly? You?! I’m nowhere near as good as you guys,” I pouted.

He spun me around to look in his eyes and gave me my favorite crooked smile, saying: “Yeah, we’re all so fucking good; it’s unbelievable, isn’t it? Now, get over yourself and face the fact that we’ve all been where you are now. Troy chose you for a reason, remember that. Now give me a kiss, say you love me and get dressed. Fucking now.”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

Yeah, it’s just that easy, isn’t it?

He looked good; the first day on set he’d gotten his hair cut and it was now short and pointy, slightly longer sideburns framing his face. The fake Virgin Maria-tattoo was still intact on his neck and as he raised his hand to cup my face, my eyes quickly caught the Aéquitas tattoo in sight.

Murphy MacManus was almost literally standing in front of me, asking for a kiss and an “I-love-you”. Can any girl say no to that? Because if, I would really like to meet them.

......................................................................................

“This way, please!” A lady I’d never seen before showed me the way to the makeup-trailer. I had to get painted.

Yes, here on the Boondock Saints you get painted to look whiter.

Even though I had a pretty Nordic appearance, apparently Troy didn’t think it enough; my skin was going to be almost milky white. But hey, since I have to appear as both Irish and an angel, I could see his point. Norm and I had spent a lot of time going on rides on his bike so especially my arms and face were actually pretty tanned.

After getting painted I would have to get my leg-tattoo applied. I couldn’t wait; it was going to look so rad.

I hurriedly followed the nice lady down half-running, and quickly found myself standing in what seemed to be a glass tank; naked, plugs in both ears, and with a rubber hat slimed over my scalp, to avoid getting any paint on my blonde curls. I was glad we were alone and I almost giggled at my own looks. I was really looking like a crazy person.

“Be careful when breathing, miss. I’m not going to apply this to your face, but just in case, please breath carefully through your nose and keep your mouth shut close. Ready?”

I was standing with both hands up and nodded for her to begin.

Fuck, it required self-control. It tickled so much, I really felt like laughing.

Easy, breath through the nose, you’re not going to open your mouth, think about something sad, dead people, sad animals, bullying, aaargh…

It took about half an hour.

Next stop: facial make-up.

Man, was I getting changed up; the same creamy white color was applied to my face, together with a dyeing of my brows. They were the same color as my hair now; a light blonde. After almost an hour painting my face, the now three makeup artists moved on to doing my hair while also sketching the leg-tattoo.

I felt so weird sitting there, three persons’ attention directed only at me and my looks. It was a bit awkward but luckily they were all very nice and joked a lot.

The leg-tattoo was probably the most advanced piece of makeup I'd ever seen, if you can even call it that, I would almost call it art. It took them about two hours before I could leave the makeup trailer. I was wearing a bath rope to cover myself up; Troy had been very strict about letting anyone see me.

“Listen, you can’t show anyone the tattoo, okay? Not even the people on set. That includes Reedus, you got it?” he’d ordered me.

I was sneaking my way around the many different trailers and hid myself behind some dumpsters. I knew that this was probably not a good idea, but I needed to smoke a cigarette. I’d made sure that no one would be able to see me here; at least, not the paparazzi which was my biggest concern. We were trying to keep the production secret; Troy wanted the movie to be a surprise for the Boondock fans; it was supposed to come out in movies on Saint Paddy’s day next year.

I felt a slight twirl of excitement in the pit of my stomach.

I was actually part of something that would be watched in the movies by countless of people.

I’m a lucky girl…

One of the production managers, a guy named Michael… Was it Brimstone? Brownstone? I couldn’t remember, well whatever, Michael had told me that we were supposed to stay inside the hotel and not go out, at least not be seen together. Of course, we’d broken that rule already on the very first day, and even Troy had told me that we shouldn’t really take it that seriously.

If someone saw us together, or the boys that is, I didn’t really matter because no one knew who I was, rumors would start.

“But maybe that’s a good thing, you know? Rumors always get the fans going. I remember this one time where…”

And then he’d told me something about Dafoe not being in the trailer for the second film, and the fans going all crazy because they really wanted him to be, but then there’d been some rumors saying that he actually would, and people had just went nuts.

“It creates… excitement, right?” he’d grinned.

As if this movie needed any more; after having done a ton of research on the movies and their extraordinary fan base back in New York, I knew that the aftermath of this movie would be insane.

Norman had warned me too: “There’s gonna be so much work after it comes out; fan expos, photo-shoots, maybe even premiers, I don’t know. Get ready to be blown a-fucking-way!”

I smiled to myself while sucking in another cloud of smoke.

Was I even ready for this?

Would I be able to handle all the attention, the crazy work hours, traveling around the States, maybe even to Europe?

I shook my head and threw the cigarette butt on the ground. I wasn’t going to think about what was to come when the movie came out; right now, all I needed to focus on was the scene I was about to do.

This was a scene, where Sean, or should I say Connor, would be laying on the ground after a gun battle, all messed up with bullets in both legs and not being able to get up. And I would come in and make him get up by soothing him, telling him God wasn't done with him yet and that I was going to be there with him till the end. And then he’d get up and search for Murph and continue their battle against all that which is evil.

So that which is good may flourish, I thought to myself, a smile spreading across my face.

This movie was going to be the shit.

“Hey you, you can’t be out here!”

I twirled around as an angry male voice sounded from behind me. A short guy with a big tummy was waltzing over towards me, lightning shooting out from his dark eyes. As he came closer and realized who I was, his face softened and he said: “Oh, sorry miss, I thought you were… Yeah, I don’t even know what I thought; you’re the angel, right?”

I nodded awkwardly and tightened my bath rope a little.

“I think they’re almost done setting up, you should prolly get in there.”

My throat seemed to tighten as he spoke.

This was it.

My time to shine.

The spotlight…

Nervousness and adrenaline pumping was all I could feel as I made my way through the halls of the big building, hastily walking by all different kinds of people, sounds, buzzing and machines.

As I entered the room, I slowly made my way around the big group of people. It seemed to be the camera men and Troy discussing an angle for something; the lightning and so forth. They used a lot of technical terms so I didn’t really understand it all.

I breathed out as I saw Sean and immediately walked over to him. He wore blue jeans, all torn by the knees, black work shoes, a black t-shirt and of course, the famous black pea coat. His eyes were revealing excitement and something I couldn’t really determine.

But I was glad to see him. Even though it would have been a bit nicer or comfortable to have my first scene with Norman, I was glad that I at least knew the person. Sean always had this nice feel about him; he would joke, make pranks and all that kind of stupid boys’ shit but deep down, you’d always know that he didn’t mean any of it.

Kind of like a big brother.

When his eyes met with mine he said: “Aye, now lookie here, lads. Ther’s our favorit’ lass!”

I laughed out as he swung his arm around me and nudged my hair a bit.

His voice always sounded so different, when he spoke like Connor; his mouth would twist a bit and he would always make a girl feel… well just a little bit more special.

I felt a light tap on my shoulder and an “Excuse me miss” behind me. I turned around to face a young blonde girl standing with a cream colored dress in her hands.

“Yes?” I spoke out and gave her a smile.

“The plans have just been changed a little; this will be your outfit for this scene.”

She held up a light satin dress, eyes looking at me nervously over her black thick-framed glasses.

“Oh,” I mouthed in surprise.

Wasn’t I going to be naked?

Like all the time?

That had been the plan, now, hadn’t it?

I could feel Sean lay an arm on my shoulder once more, his weight pressing me down a bit.

“Lemme get this right, now girlie, ye’re telling Connor here ‘tat our aingeal* s'not gonna be naked? Th’fuck’s tha’?”

She looked down on her feet as I took the dress and held it up. It was actually quite nice; a bit transparent but compared to the fact that I was supposed to be naked all the time before, I was grateful.

I looked over to the big group of people and quickly made eye contact with Troy. I sent him a big smile and thumbs up. He winked at me before continuing his conversation with the camera men.

“Yes, sir,” the girl spoke quietly, answering Sean’s small rude question.

I thanked her while smiling apologetically and immediately ran for the closest bathroom. I was thrilled that Troy, or whoever it was, had decided my outfit should contain more than just white spray tan and a fake tattoo down my leg.

I locked the door to the bathroom, let the bath rope fall to the ground and shot myself a look in the mirror.

I almost screamed.

Not out of horror but… surprise, I guess.

I was staring at a girl, or a creature, I couldn’t tell what she was. She didn’t look from this world; skin creamy white, big and long white hair twisting and curling its way down in an almost snake-like fashion to two pink and perky nipples.

I stepped closer and gawked in amazement; the skin of her face was perfect; not a scratch nor a pimple, nothing, ruining the smooth surface. Light green eyes framed by dark brown eyelashes blinked back at me as I stood there, not being able to realize that it was actually me that I was looking at.

It was my reflection.

I never thought I could be that beautiful, I thought as I tilted my head from side to side, really taking in my appearance.

I heard a quick tap on the door.

“Miss, are you in there? We’re all set.”

“Fuck,” I mumbled and quickly threw on the dress.

It was more transparent than what it had seemed to be at first, but it fell so freaking beautifully down my body, I didn't care.

I felt more feminine than I’d ever done before in my life as I made my way back to the set. I silently walked past the cameras and over to Troy.

He smiled as he said: “Now there’s an angel. Perfect. Good, so you know where you’re gonna come out, over by that door,” he pointed to show me where he meant, “And then walk over here,” he pointed to where Sean was laying, “and then you fucking tell him what his God wants from him, okay?”

I nodded firmly.

I knew what was going down.

“You ready?”

Again I just nodded.

“Good, let’s do this people!”

Adrenaline was rushing my ears as I walked over behind the door; my entrance to the scene.

Soon, everyone’s eyes were going to be on me, my every move and breath recorded, all my mistakes…

I peeped through the door and my eyes immediately fell upon a pair of crystal blue eyes in the back of the room. He was watching me.

I gulped.

Okay, I thought to myself as I tried to shrug the nervousness off, Connor MacManus needs you; he needs this to carry on his mission. You’re going to do this and you’re going to do it good.

“Action!”