Yes

“Um…” I gulped and tore my eyes away from him to stare down at my hands on my stomach.

Did I?

I felt him scoot over in the bed and I felt his hand taking mine.

“You can tell me, babe,” he sounded.

I thought back to earlier this day where I’d seen that little girl greeting her daddy in the airport. The way that dude had reacted to seeing his daughter and how happy she’d been had just been so… I don’t know, sweet?

And the way Norman always looked when he was around Mingus or talked about him; the passion that just always lit up his eyes… I hadn’t really thought much about having kids before meeting Norman.

“I…” I started.

I felt his eyes on me but I couldn’t let myself look at him. I mean, having kids? Isn’t that, like, something you would want from life?

I shrugged my shoulders.

“I don’t know, yeah, I think I do,” I stumbled out.

It was really a tough question for me to answer and I didn’t know how Norm would react to it. So I just sat there, cheeks burning, and with a stone weighing down in my stomach. Nervous.

Whatever was going to come out of his mouth now, I wasn’t sure whether I was going to like it or not.

“Nice,” he said with a breathy voice.

My eyes widened.

Nice?

Are you kidding me; nice is all you can say?

Come on, man!

I finally let my eyes gaze upon him and raised an eyebrow when his stare met with mine. His expression was smooth and without worry; he was smiling.

“What do you mean, nice?” I asked with a shaky voice.

He kissed the back of my hand.

“It’s nice… I think you’d be a good mom. You’re really good with Mingus and you’re so caring. Having Mingus has been one of the things I know I’m never going to regret doing in my life. It just teaches you so much about yourself.”

I breathed out heavily.

So this was where my self-consciousness had been hiding? Right here in the bed of Norman Reedus. Of course…

I didn’t know what to say now; I just knew I had to say something.

“But I… You know, the… the two of us?”

I could hear him chuckle next to me, the bass of his voice sending small trembles through the mattress.

“Oh babe, I really think I’m too old for having kids now. Would you really want that?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his crooked smile. This really wasn’t funny to me; this was like the determination of our entire relationship we were talking about here… I frowned.

“Hey, hey, babe! Don’t be like that, did I say something wrong?”

I sighed out.

“Well, yeah. Or, I don’t know!” I started, feeling my hands tremble, “All I know is that… I love you. I wanna be with you and… I could see myself having your babies.”

I hit my face in a pillow and clenched my teeth together.

Okay, so there… I said it.

And I was probably going to regret doing so. But Norm had grown quiet next to me. His breathing was even and steady and then the flicker of a lighter sounded.

I think I died a little on the inside right there out of embarrassment.

My mind was on overload and my skin felt electric. I waited patiently for his response.

“Sweetheart, listen… Imagine if we had a kid, like, now. When that kid is twenty, I’m going to be fucking sixty years old? I’m way too old for that…”

“You’re not old,” I interrupted him.

“Yes I am,” he spat.

“No, you sure don’t act old.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing bad, you’re just really, I don’t know, active. Good shape and all that.”

“Being in good shape doesn’t get you any younger.”

“I say it does.”

“Hey!”

My eyes widened as he raised his voice. His stare as harder, his face serious.

“Having kids is not just something you just do, okay? If we had a kid then… I don’t know, it’s just, I don’t think my life’s cut out for that right now, you know, with me working all the time and… I mean, I’m practically living on airplanes.”

My heart felt heavy.

Why were we even discussing this? Where had it come from?

“You’re doing so well with Mingus?” I said in a whisper.

His hand started stroking my arm in long movements.

“Babe… Is this seriously something you want?”

I shrugged my shoulders lightly.

How was I going to answer to that?

I felt his hand cup my face and he pulled me down into a deep kiss, his lips hard yet soft on mine. When we parted his blue crystals met my gaze and I felt like they pierced right through me.

Like I couldn’t hide.

“I love you,” he said with a soft voice, “and if we were the same age, I mean, if I was as young as you, this would have been a completely different conversation. But you gotta understand that I’m older. A lot. I could be your dad for Christ’s sake.”

I gulped.

My hands felt sweaty and my breath uneven. I didn’t like where this was going.

“Technically you could, but that would just be gross. I’m not a teenager, Norm, I’m twenty-six.”

He lay down on his back and stared up at the ceiling. His face was still serious but a small curl on his lip revealed something I couldn’t determine.

“You know, I talked to Sean about this. The age difference.”

I felt my mouth open but didn’t know why. A small stinging sensation prickled around my beating heart.

He’d really thought about this, hadn’t he?

I kept silent.

“He said I was being too much of a wise-ass.”

I let out a nervous chuckle.

“He told me not to worry about me being older and to just go wherever life took me. That there was a reason for me meeting you.”

I smiled and finally let my eyes meet with his. His lips were almost parted fully into a smile now. I didn’t know what to do with myself; I felt completely lost as he lifted his hands to touch my lips.

“You’re not in a hurry, are you?” he asked me.

My brows furrowed and I shook my head. I knew he didn’t mean right now but more what-do-you-want-from-life-and-when-are-you-going-to-take-it speaking.

“Good. Let’s just see where we end up being.”

“Yeah,” I agreed in a breathy voice.

I felt a slight release somewhere around my heart, as if a stone had been lifted off me.

Norman chuckled next to me.

“What?” I asked quickly.

This conversation with him had really made me feel way too edgy.

“Just imagine it; me being a daddy all over again.”

He had a goofy grin spread across his face and his hands were cupping his cheeks. It kind of reminded me of Mingus back at the airport.

I giggled.

......................................................................

Time with Norman really went fast.

One moment we’d just finished shooting Boondock and then the next I was on my way back to New York after having spent Christmas with my family back in Denmark.

I’d had a wonderful time staying at my parent’s place, seeing old friends and family members and telling them what I was up to back in the States.

My nephew had freaked out when I’d told him that the guy playing Daryl Dixon was my boyfriend: “Ej han er bare så mega sej! Må jeg ikke få hans autograf, tror du?!”*

And all of my girlfriends had been horrible too; they all freaked out when I told them I had a part in a movie that was going to be shown in cinemas.

One of my friends had been particularly thrilled when I told her who it was with: “Den fyr der er med i The Walking Dead? Fuck, du er bare så heldig!"*

It had been weird coming back; it was like I wasn’t really part of that old life I’d had back there. As if I’d completely moved on and settled with the American lifestyle instead of the Danish. Which was very weird for me, because back in the States I felt so very different. But there, when I’d went out with my friends and they’d talked about how their lives were going and what they all wanted from it, I felt totally different too.

As if I didn’t really fit in anywhere.

But then I would call Norman and he would soothe me and tell me that he missed me and then I would know where I belonged.

With him.

How cliché as it sounds, that’s how I feel.

So as I sat in the cap on my way home to my apartment from the JFK airport, I couldn’t wait to call him to let him know I was back. I tapped my fingers impatiently on the grey leather seat as I waited for my phone to get the American signal back.

The snow was falling heavily outside, making all the city lights of the night seem hazy and I felt grateful for sitting in the warm cap, even though it had a very distinct smell; plastic and garlic.

I yelped in surprise as I felt my phone vibrate repeatedly as the signal came back on. Five missed calls and three messages.

What the fudge?

Norman had called two times but I didn’t know the number of the last three missed calls. I narrowed my eyes on the screen as I read through the messages.

One from Norm, saying: “Babe, don’t go to your place. Come here. xxx”

One from my mom saying: “God rejse, det var godt at have dig hjemme igen.”*

And the last one was from the same number that had called three times, saying: ”If you have any interest in our offer, please call us back on this number:… Merry Christmas, Mandy, IntelligentBikeWheels.”

I almost screamed when I listened to the voice mail they’d left. I told the cap driver to go to Norm’s place instead of mine and if he could please drive any faster; I couldn’t wait to break the news to him.

My heart was pounding happily as I finally let my eyes gaze upon the big white door leading to Norm’s apartment. I tapped it hurriedly.

When Mingus opened I launched myself at him and lifted him up to hug him.

Man was that kid growing fast.

He laughed into my ear as I sat him down again.

“Wow, I’ve missed you too. Dad’s in the kitchen. My mom’s here. I’ll get your suitcase…”

I slowed down my pace. Helena was here?

I looked at myself in the big mirror hanging in the hallway before entering the living room. Jetlag was written all over me; great. But even though I looked like shit, I couldn’t help but to smile widely as I walked around the corner to greet them.

Norman was standing at the kitchen counter, leaning over it with a cup of coffee in his hands and a smile on his lips, chatting with the tall woman sitting at the table.

Her back was faced at me so I could only see her long dark brown hair waving down her lean figure.

I giggled girlishly when Norm’s eyes met with mine; his face lit up in the cutest fucking way ever, and he immediately ran over to give me the biggest bear-hug ever.

“Babe! I’ve missed you so much! Merry Christmas!” he sounded in my ear in the raspiest voice ever.

I think I just melted on the inside.

“Missed you too!” I said before planting a firm kiss on his lips.

Ah, had I missed those lips.

I felt really small as he let me go and put his arm around me to lead me over to Helena. She got up, fuck she was so tall, and smiled widely at me.

“Glædelig jul?”* I sounded nervously as I reached out my hand for her to shake.

She was absolutely even more stunning in person than on pictures; warm brown eyes framed by long wavy lashes, beautiful cheek bones and perfectly white teeth.

“Glædelig jul!” she grinned and shook my hand softly, “Er du lige kommet fra Danmark?”*

I nodded and tried giving her my best smile before I opened my mouth to answer, when I felt a hand cover it.

”Hey!” Norman sounded and placed himself so he could look at both of us, “English, please! I can’t have you two talking about me behind my back in Danish or something.”

We all laughed.

Helena left with Mingus not long after, telling us to have a good night and a happy New Year’s Eve.

Me and Norman was soon lying in his bed together, talking about how our Christmases had been; he’d celebrated it with his mom and Mingus at his place, and just had some time off.

“But I wished you’d been here. Mingus wouldn’t stop talking about you. He really enjoys watching the show with you.”

Mingus and I had made it kind of a tradition watching The Walking Dead together now; he would always come over and I would make him dinner and then we would watch the show, both of us freaking out every time Daryl would show his dirty face.

I giggled and buried my face in Norm’s neck. He smelled so good.

“How was your flight?”

My eyes flew open as I remembered what had happened on my way home from the airport.

I quickly flung my leg over him and sat up; straddling him, pinning his arms down over his head. At first he seemed stumbled but a smirk soon curled his thin delicious lips.

“You’ll never guess who called me,” I said with a devilish grin spreading across my face.

He tried to have me loosen my grip but I just tightened my hands around his wrists. As if he couldn’t get me off him if he really wanted to.

“Yeah, with you acting like this, I really can’t imagine… Someone who gets you off?”

I made an offended sound with my tongue.

“No, silly!”

I looked down his chest and popped my eyebrows.

“Am I doing this right? You know, this is how you sit properly on a motorcycle, right?”

His brows furrowed.

“Why?”

I couldn’t hold it much longer; I knew I had to get it out of my system.

“Because I’m gonna be a freaking model for IntelligentBikeWheels next week!” I shouted before throwing my hands up in the air and jumping up and down on top of him.

He grinned at my crazy reaction and laid both hands at my ribs to hold me still.

“What? You serious? They called you?”

I was still jumping up and down, but more carefully now so I wouldn’t accidently hurt him.

“Hell yeah! They told me I was exactly the kind of girl they were looking for; you know, with my role in Boondock and everything. Apparently, they know one of the production managers, and he showed them some of the pictures from the Boondock photo shoots. And they wanna hire me, wooooo!”

I wasn’t really used to being jetlagged. It was noon in Denmark right now so I wasn’t feeling tired at all.

Norm laughed warmheartedly and sat up to kiss me on my lips.

“Congrats, beautiful,” he said quietly.

I put my hands around his neck, still straddling him, and rested my forehead on his.

“Thanks, handsome.”

He kissed me again, this time more passionately.

“You’re welcome, babe,” he spoke in a raspy breath.

Another warm kiss spread tickling sensations down my spine. I was quickly catching up on his mood as I felt his hands grab around my hips.

“Mh,” I breathed and kissed his forehead before throwing my head back as he bucked his hips upwards.

“Welcome home,” he whispered between planting small kisses from my neck down my collarbones to my heaving chest.

“I missed you,” I whimpered slowly and once more felt him push himself against me.

I could easily feel his excitement through the thin fabrics of our underwear and I already felt warmth spread down between my legs. His hands grabbed at my ass and forced me to grind over his hard length.

I sighed out.

“I missed you too much,” he said before pulling me down to lay on top of him.

That night I felt like the luckiest girl on the planet.