Yes

I had my eyes fixed on the small neon-green exit sign that hung over the door which the nice lady that had brought us our soft drinks had disappeared through.

“Wait here, hun,” she’d told me, “I’ll let you know when you’re up.”

Those words still resonated in my ears over the deafening silence that now had laid itself in the waiting room I was currently freaking out in. They hadn’t even put music on.
I felt my stomach churn as I heard a weak laughter coming from the hallway on the other side of the door.

Are they coming for me now?

I was like paralyzed as I waited breathlessly for the door handle to be pushed down. I had a feeling that when it did, I would either puke or scream violently. I let out a nervous laugh as I shook my head. What was I expecting?

I was sitting there, staring at the door handle as if I was going to live out the scary kitchen-scene from the first Jurassic Park movie.

You know, where velociraptors suddenly know how to open doors and all hell breaks loose and shit.

I chuckled at myself again. I was not going to face a dangerous eight feet tall Hollywood made dinosaur-monster; I was going to do my job. And my job was only to go into a room of 300 people and talk to them. Why was that such a big thing to me?

I sighed.

Of course, it’s a big thing to me, I thought.

This wasn’t just about me being an actress on the newly released and third Boondock Saints movie. This was so much more. First of all, this was my first time at Comic-Con in San Diego; actually, it was my first at any Comic-Con convention ever. Secondly, it wasn’t my co-workers’ first time at Comic-Con; they were almost considered regulars here.

I frowned as I checked the time on my phone: 3:45 PM. They were really delayed. And I knew that after this panel, we would have to have photo sessions with a lot of fans. Norman really didn’t lie when he said that it was going to be tough.

Tough wasn’t even the word, I thought as I removed a blond long strain of hair from the black fabric covering my shoulder.

I let my eyes wander over my body and smiled to myself in content.

I did wear some rad clothes.

An almost dress-like black long-sleeved turtleneck hung loosely down over my body, highlighting all the good parts, and on my legs, only nylon stockings. I wore some sassy Jimmy Choo stilettos that Norman bought me when we were in London this summer.

Rich idiot.

They looked good with the outfit, though.

I knew that I was kind of dressed up compared to some of our co-workers: Rocco’s clothes looked like something a homeless man could have worn (no offense, Roc) and Norman? Well, Norman just wore his usual clothes; some washed dark jeans and a black t-shirt under his leather jacket. And Ray-bans; don’t ever forget the Ray-bans.

He’d actually tried to persuade me to wear sunglasses as well.

But I’d declined.

I mean, it just seems a bit… douchey. Norman always says it’s because of all the flashes from cameras, but I mean, how many cameras can there be in there, flashing their lights at the same time? A panel is supposed to be about talking about the production and not about fan-girling, right?

I felt a slight nudge somewhere inside of me and flipped my glasses case between my hands. Of course, I had brought a pair, just in case, but I was thinking about how it would make me look if I just walked in there without glasses on and then just, you know, put them on if the flashes became a problem.

I sighed and threw them over the couch.

This was absurd. How long was I going to sit in here?

I almost died from a heart attack when the door was opened and Diane stepped in with an excusing smile on her lips.

“Alright, let’s go,” she said in a hurried and breathy voice, and I immediately threw myself up from the couch and almost fell as my knee hit the table in front of me.

“’Kay,” I breathed as a sharp pain shot up from the skin on my knee and I quickly glazed down to see if I hurt myself.

No blood.

Good.

But damn, did it hurt. “Are you okay?” Diane asked and reached out her hand to help me.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, don’t worry,” I smiled and waved at her helping hand.

Just walk it off.

It felt like a big bubble of something insanely tickly was filling my insides and I nervously ran my fingers through my hair to tame it a bit as we hurriedly walked down the hallway leading to the panel room. I could hear a small scratchy voice coming from Diane’s headset that was hanging around her neck, and she quickly handed me my microphone for me to put on. I fumbled a bit with the small cables but I had it turned on in no time. Even though Comic-Con was my first time, I had done interviews before.

After we wrapped up Boondock, I started looking for other places to find work, with the help of Norman of course. He showed me where to look and how to look, and it helped me enormously. I had managed to get two smaller roles in two different TV-shows after Boondock; and I was now planning on auditioning for a kind of big female role in a feature film that was supposed to be filmed in New York.

I felt like I was finally in the right track of following my dreams. And Norman was such a big part of that.

I felt a warm sensation in my throat and I couldn’t help but to sigh a bit in relief.

He was in there.

He was going to protect me from whatever it was I was freaking so much out about.

That also made me feel a bit confident. I was going in to a room full of Boondock fans; and I was part of Boondock Saints now. I was in the movie that people actually saw. And that they’re all really hyped about. I should look forward to this.

Diane pulled lightly at my arm as we turned to stand by a large door that looked like the doors leading into cinemas. I breathed out and closed my eyes.

This was it.

Showtime, baby.

“Just to your left and up the stairs. You look amazing!” Diane smiled through her big white teeth and nudged my shoulder as she opened the door.

I thanked her smilingly and breathed in heavily, popped my chest out a bit and went through the doors. A security man walked up and made me wait at a black canvas. I could hear Sean’s voice sounding over speakers just to my left, but I couldn’t see the room properly because of the big canvas hanging down from the ceiling.

“Yup, that’s right Sean,” a male voice of someone I didn’t know sounded over the speakers, “and that’s why we should bring her in. Right?”

A wide smile spread its way over my lips as my name was being called out in the big room and the sound of hundreds of people clapping started bashing at my ears. The security guy pushed me further down and to the left, and I rounded a corner into the room of what seemed to me to be much more than 300 people. I looked to my left and immediately locked my eyes with Norman’s.

I laughed out nervously.

I waved at the audience and made sure not to fall as I steadily climbed the stairs up to where my friends and co-workers were at.

Our own little place.

I shook hands with the speaker-guy and quickly strove over to hug Rocco. He smelled like beer.

People were actually wooing as I made my way over to Sean who seemed to be sweating like a pig.

“Hey, did it hurt?” he grinned into my ear as he was hugging me.

I laughed out and quickly gave him a good punch on the shoulder. “I did NOT fall down from heaven, you idiot.”

I waved my hand at him as I walked over to Norman.

Sean and all of his angel-punchlines. I hate them.

Norman stood up and smiled hugely at me and gave me a real bear-hug which lasted a bit longer than it probably should have.

“Hi babe,” his voice sounded from his chest as I leaned my head in.

I sniffed in his musky and leathery scent and hugged him tight. Now I could breathe properly again. I felt him plant a kiss on my hair and as he stepped away from me, he also pulled out his chair.

I looked confusedly at him.

I wasn’t supposed to sit in his chair, was I?

He nodded at the chair and then at me, and in fear of making any mistakes, I quickly sat down. Norman went over to sit down in the chair that I was supposed to be sitting in.

“What?” I half-whispered.

A wavy chuckle was heard from the crowd and Norman shook his head and me, grinning.

“You know, sweetheart,” Sean’s whispering voice sounded over the speakers, “we can all hear what you say.”

I looked out over the audience where you could still see a few people chuckling. I had no idea what was going on.

“Magic of microphones,” Rocco chuckled.

I was looking back and forth from Rocco to Norman to Sean. I hated when they did that.

“I understand your confusion,” said the speaker-guy who was actually named Mike, “Why the switching seats?”

I threw my hands in the air, saying: “That’s what I thought?!”

Sean poked me on the shoulder and signed for me to look up on the screen behind us. I looked up only to look at myself. A camera was filming me where I sat, wild blonde hair, a confused expression on my face and on the table before me: a sign that said “Norman Reedus”.

I shook my head. This was another pointless Norman-move that would have you just… shaking your head in resignment.

“Okay, so, welcome Norman Reedus, apparently, I think it proper for us to have us see a small clip from one of the, to me, best parts of the movie…” Mike said in a comic and dramatic voice, “The scene where Connor MacManus almost dies… Da-da-da-dum!”

A rushing sound was heard from the awaiting audience as the lights turned off and the big screen behind us was suddenly the only thing lighting up the room. I felt very self-aware as I sat and watched the movie. I knew that people were looking at both us here and on screen. And that was kind of a big deal to me.

My toes curled a bit when I saw myself up there.

White, almost naked and surprisingly beautiful.

I didn’t feel like I was looking at me. The woman up there on the screen seemed so pure and… out of this world. And I wouldn’t exactly use those words to describe me.

I blushed as the scene progressed and looked down on my hands when my angel-self started crying on the screen.

It seemed kind of personal.

This was my work, and all of these people here could criticize it. The sound of the video silenced and the lights were turned back on. The audience went crazy.

I felt Norman reach over and nudge my arm and I looked over to see him smiling warmheartedly at me.

He’d almost driven me crazy when we watched the movie together for the first time. He was proud of my performance, and I was glad. But he didn’t have to be so… annoying about it. He almost had an ‘I-told-you-so’ look on his face.

I couldn’t be mad at him about it. He had told me.

My name was called out and I quickly turned in my chair to look back up at Mike. He was a young kid with dark brown hair and some funky movements. He seemed nice.

“So… How’s it like to be the MacManus brothers’ guardian angel?”

I chuckled a bit and let a hand run through my curls.

“Um…” I started out, and put a finger up to my lips as I searched my mind,” I like it.”

Mike chuckled and laughter was heard from the audience.

”I mean,” I said as I looked down over the audience. It was kind of hard to see the people down there because of the lights, but you could easily spot the hundreds of small lights coming from recording cameras.

“It isn’t always that easy, since, you know, they run around killing people for God, but, I’m coping.”

“Ha, yeah, I could imagine,” Mike grinned, “and what about the language that you used in the movie, what was it, Gaelic? How was that of a job?”

I tilted my head and felt the warmth shining down on me from the lamps over us.

“That’s actually kind of a funny story.” I smiled and looked over at Norman.

He sent me a crooked smile and cleared his throat.

“Bailey’s and Jameson, then you’re good to go,” Norm sounded over the speaker.

I laughed and turned to look at Mike again. “Yeah, we, uh, Norm and I went to an Irish pub in New York and met this nice guy who knows Gaelic. And he taught me it. You know, we translated my lines and I recorded him saying them. And then, yeah, Troy went with the idea, and now I speak Gaelic.”

Sean’s voice sounded over the speakers: “Yeah, and what’s incredible is, that, Troy originally had her speak English, you know, just with a Billy Connolly-thick Irish accent. But Angel here,” he reached his hand over to mess with my hair, “made him change his mind.”

I heard Norman started clapping his hand. Of course, the audience followed suit.

I laughed out and covered my face. My heart was pounding hard.

I reached out to grab one of the water bottles that stood on the table for us to drink. The cold water kind of helped on the very warm sensation that was bubbling in my stomach.

This was fun.

The next hour felt like ten minutes to me. We discussed a lot of different scenes from the movie; especially the MacManus brothers’ death scene. I only spoke a few times. And I was really comfortable with that. Sean was the one who did most of the talking. But Norm actually surprised me, as he also answered a lot of the questions. But when Mike told us that the program said that it was time for the fans to make questions, I was surprised when the first question was for me.

How was it like to be naked in front of the whole set?

I breathed out heavily.

That was a tough question to answer. I kind of made it through by joking with Sean and saying something about just imagining being dressed.

As more and more fans asked their questions, I started feeling more and more edgy, and I didn’t know why. It was like I was waiting for something bad to happen; I just didn’t know what. The questions started to get more and more personal, as the fans not only wanted to talk about the movie but also private lives. And I seemed to notice that more and more girls were asking Norm about a lot of personal stuff, and I knew back in my head that questions about his love life might also be put on the table.

I crossed my fingers for it not to happen, even though Norm and I already had a plan for what we were going to say.

We were going public.

I knew that it was a really big step for us. We had been seeing each other for a little more than a year and a half and we were not sure about where our future was headed. But we knew that we loved each other, lived together, supported each other; and that was enough for us. And the fact that I knew that Sean and Rocco also supported us in our choice to go public made it a whole lot easier dealing with as I sat there and waited for the question to be asked.

And it was: “Norm…” a breathy girlish voice sounded, as the microphone was passed to a tall skinny girl waiting in line to ask question.

“I’m on Twitter, and I know a whole lot of other girls here are too, and so, of course, I’m following you, and there’s been a lot of rumors lately about… uh, concerning you love life. And so, on the behalf of at least half of the girls in here: Norman, are you dating…”

I jumped in my seat as the girls voice was drowned out by a loud sound of a dark male voice.

I rolled my eyes as I quickly recognized it: Sean Patrick Flanery.

“Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can’t help falling in love with you…” he sang out dramatically.

Norman threw a water bottle after him without removing his eyes from the poor girl in the audience still trying to say what she wanted to.

“Shut up, Elvis,” Norm said and held out his hand, “Now, ask the question again please.”

The girl stood with the microphone in her hand and eyed Flanery. I reached over to put my hand over his mouth. She laughed.

“Are you dating?”

I smiled at Sean because I didn’t really know what to do.

“Um…” I heard Norman start, and I soon let go from Sean because I didn’t want Norm to feel all alone on answering.

I was kind of part of the answer too.

Norman sat with his hands, trying to figure out a way for him to show the audience what he meant instead of saying it. He had a thing for doing that.

“I, um… Yes, yes, we’re dating. Boom!”

Norm let the microphone fall down on the table and looked at me, his hand still standing as it did when he’d had the microphone in it. He sent me one of his best smiles, the crooked one, and stood up, walked over to me in one stride, bent down and kissed me hard on the lips.

In surprise, I threw my hands up and put them on his shoulder, as if I was trying to push him off. He held my face and made his lips softer. I quickly opened my eyes to see him looking at me.

This was it.

The audience went bunkers and millions of flashing lights exploded in my eyes so I was forced to close them.

My breath was staggered when his lips left mine and I lazily stared after him as he found his way back over to his own chair.

“Wow, okay, so we actually have a couple here on the panel?!” Mike sounded, “I had no idea!”

My eyes nervously swayed over the audience to try and get a grasp of how people took it. Mostly, I saw big eyes of wonder and camera flashes. But I also saw smiles. A lot of them. And I heard wooing.

I looked over at Norman and reached my arm over for him to hold my hand. He took it and reached our arms up to rest on the table. For everyone to see.

I felt joy-bubbles bouncing in my insides.

Sean’s voice sounded happily over the speakers: “I love that you did the… Boom!”

And then he dropped his microphone in the same way that Norm had done just before kissing me.

I heard Norm laugh out a barked laugh.

“Yeah, well I just…”

I felt his eyes on me and I looked at him, as he said: “I just fucking love you.”

The audience went wild again.