Dysfunctional Team: Pilot

"…and that's why I don't do that kind of swag," Swindle said to Dead End, walking down the hallway of the base. They had just finish moving the items around in Swindle's ship to accommodate for more passenger and the Vehicons had all head back to the lounge to head back to the lounge while Dead End and Swindle were heading towards the command room to talk to Onslaught. Dead End looked like he was considering suicide a bit more seriously than usual, while Swindle had on his usual slag-eating grin.

"So, you don't give anything away for free, but you will sell illegal things," Dead End said, without a ounce of care in his voice, like he already knew this.

"Of course. All the time. If I don't, than someone else will and make money off of that. I got to cover all my angles."

"Is there anything you won't do?" Dead End asked. If he were to guess, probably not.

"Of course I do. Example, slave trading. Definitely something I don't do," Swindle said, a bit of hatred in his voice.

"May I ask why? It's definitely something I see you doing," Dead End said, actually interested in why he doesn't do slave trading (at least he sounded interested). This is a con that's willing to sell body parts that he got from dead people to make a profit. What was it about slave trading that was too low for him?

""I got several reasons to hate it. First, actually keeping the person alive costs money and resources. That can really eat up into my profits. Secondly, the traders themselves are completely deplorable people. They give honest businessmech like myself a bad name." Dead End scoffed at that one. "Third, and most importantly, it goes against my morals."

"It does?" Dead End asked, a little surprise. Since when did Swindle had morals?

"Yeah. I may be a murderer, arms dealer, etc. but I'm not a fan of slavery or anything like that. Back before the war started, I was against the whole caste system we had, much to the disappointment of my creator. He always disapproved of it."

"Why did he oppose you?"

"Simple. He was a senator." Oh. Dead End looked at him a bit oddly. Swindle took notice. "He was a major aft. Always went on tirades about the fact that the upper caste was superior and that the lower caste were meant to be used," Swindle said, ending his explanation.

"I'm guessing he's dead now," Dead End said.

"I don't know. Last time I saw him, I was sorta stealing his ship. He might be alive, although I doubt it. More than likely, he got ripped apart by another con like most of them did." Swindle said, without a bit of sadness in his voice.

"So, I'm guessing that his ship out there," He said, indicating Swindle's ship.

"Yep, the guy had a big enough ego to named it after himself. 'The Merchant.' What a prick. Good ship though, especially with all the upgrades. It's definitely the best thing I've ever gotten from him." Swindle said, a bit of happiness in his voice. He must really like that ship. He looked back at Dead End. "What about you?"

"Huh?" Dead End said, a little surprised.

"What about you? What brought you into the con you are now. A con only capable of the emotions of sadness and not-caring." Swindle asked.

"Why?"

"Give and take. You get information about me, I get information about you," Swindle explained. He did have a point, Dead End agreed. He got information about him, he might as well get information about him.

"Alright. I was created upper-middle-class to a couple of metallurgists in Ibex."

"Ibex? You mean the racing capital of Cybertron?" Swindle asked.

"Yes. That's the one. While there, I didn't make many friends. Most of the time, I was studying poetry at the local poetry club."

"A fan of poetry."

"Not as much as I used to be, but yes, I am a fan. As I was saying, I kept moistly to myself by hanging out at the poetry club. The only person from Ibex that I have semi-regular conversations with is Drag Strip."

"Drag Strip? Isn't he one of the Stunticon like you."

"Yes, he is. Me and him were the only one who knew each other before the Stunticons was form. Of course, we were very different. Drag Strip had one thing on his mind: winning. If he didn't win, he was bound to make a scene. Anyway, my creators were a fickle bunch and wanted me to solely study metallurgy. Back then, I was a disrespectful piece of slag who really didn't give a damn what my creators had to say. They ended up kicking me out."

"Ouch. What happen after that?"

"I hung out at the poetry club for a little while. After a little while, Drag Strip enter with a date. I later learn that he went to the poetry club with her on a dare form one of his friends. He had to get her in the berth with her before the day ended."

"How did that go?"

"Bad. She left during the middle of the date, calling him all kinds of nasty thing. Just for good measures, she stabbed him straight in the bearings with a knife."

"That must've been painful," Swindle said, with a look that had a look of sympathy. A mech should never be stabbed in the bearings.

"It was. I decided to help him out. At the time, we kind of knew each other, so I figure that if I help him, he would help me."

"And the fact that he was stabbed in the bearings."

"That too. I took him to the nearest hospital and had the doctors patch him up. Drag Strip thanked me by letting me stay at his place."

"Just like that?"

"Well, I had to appeal to his ego a little bit and explain the situation, but yeah, just like that."

"Well, I guess that's a good thing… hey, where in the pit are all the Vehicon running?" Swindle asked. Dead End looked up at them. A group of about 10 Vehicons were all running the opposite towards them. "Hey, idiots, stop!" Swindle yelled. The herd paid no attention to him and kept running, all of them pushing Swindle Dead End out of the way and onto the floor aalong with a sole Vehicon that trip. When the group was gone, Swindle, Dead End, and the Vehicon got up off the ground. "Well, there goes some of my retail value," Swindle said, examining the scratches on his body.

"Mine as well and I just buff myself too," Dead End said.

"You buff yourself?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"I prefer to look as good s possible when I died, thank you."

"Wow, I didn't know you were vain too." Swindle looked at the Vehicon, whose head was still ringing from the fall. "Hey, you. Why were you guys running?" The Vehicon (labeled TI-09) looked at him and answered.

"Skywarp. He woke up and just started fighting with Scavenger in the med-lab. The two are really going at it."

"Skywarp is already up?" Dead End said.

"Yeah, and I don't know about you, but I'm getting out of here. I'm too insignificant to die!" With that, TI-22 ran away from the duo, transmission fluid running down his leg, probably to die a pointless death later on.

"Why is Skywarp already up?" Dead End asked out loud.

"And why is he beating the slag out of Scavenger?"Swindle asked.

"We better make sure that they don't kill each other, if they haven't already. Come on," Dead End said, non-caring, walking in an even pace towards the med-lab. Swindle stare for a little bit before shrugging his shoulders and following along.

"You've really lack the urge to care about anything except your paint job, have you?" Swindle asked.

"Probably," Dead End said, bored.

"So, what do you think happen in the med-lab."

"I don't know and we won't know until we get there, so asking those questions are pointless."

"Alright, alright." Swindle stayed quiet… for about 10 seconds. "So, what happen between you and Drag Strip?"

"Nothing much. He was staying at his own place. His creators were both dead so the place had been left to him. He put me in a spared bedroom and told me to clean up after himself. Believe it or not, he's probably one of the cleanest cons around. His place was immaculate."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Everything was in order and in place, although it lack a certain… personality. The place was more beige than these hallways," Dead End said, waving his hands around the hallway. The hallways were really beige, man. "So, me and him lived there with me reading stories and poetry and Drag Strip racing with his gang." They were nearing the med-lab, now.

"Gang?"

"Yes, a gang. They're two main gangs in Ibex: one led by Drag Strip and one led by a bot called Blurr. Simply saying the two hated each other was an understatement. The two gave each other death threats on a daily basis and both would beat the slag out of each other, resulting in more hospital visits for Drag Strip." Dead End stopped talking. They were here. The door opened silently and let them in to see the carnage.

"Wow, looked like we miss a really big fight," Swindle said. He was correct in his assessment to. The materials were stranded all over the rooms. Surgical equipment, broken glassware, various substances, etc. were laying about, with Flatline cleaning everything up, mumbling to himself. Shockwave was still laying on his berth, looking at the two newcomers.

"You don't know the half of it." Flatline said to them, sounding ticked. "Do you know how much all of this cost?" He said, indicating the substances and glassware spread about. The surgical tools, were left most intact.

"My guess, about 5,000 shanxies," Swindle said, quickly.

"Around that, yes." Flatline looked at him. "You have a good eye."

"Sort of comes with the job." He looked at Flatline. "So what happen between Scavenger and Skywarp?"

"Scavenger freak out and started beating Skywarp offline body for no reason. He just started punching him in the head until me and Killshot got him off. As we were scolding him, Skywarp just woke up, out of the blue, gave a pithy one-liner, and attacked him. We tried to stop him from causing anymore fighting, but in the middle of the struggle, he teleported him and Scavenger out of here. After that, Killshot decided to search for the two and left me here in the company of Shockwave," Flatline said, ending his explanation.

"Do you know where they go?" Dead End asked.

"I don't know. My guess, follow the carnage."

"Alright then, see you later Flatline."

"Yeah, whatever." With that, the two walk out of the room and back into the hallway.

"So, any idea where we should go?" Swindle asked.

"Not a single clue."

"Than what in the pit do we do to find them?" Luckily, that ended up answering itself very quickly. A certain vehicon ran down the hall nonstop, accidently running straight into… Swindle. "Son of a glitch!" Swindle yelled as they toppled onto the floor with the vehicon on top. The Vehicon got up immediately and tried to run, but Swindle wasn't having that. He quickly grabbed his ankle and tripped him back to the ground and immediately got on top of him and holding him down. While holding him down, Swindle looked at his number.

TI-22. Oh, great. This fragger again.

"Hey there again, idiot. How's it going? So, exactly where were you running from this time?" Swindle asked in a low toned. TI-09 responded exactly how any most would expect from him.

"The lounge! I don't know how they got there, but the lounge! Please let me go!" Swindle briefly consider threatening the poor vehicon a little longer, but decided against, letting the Vehicon go. The Vehicon gladly ran away, more transmission fluid running down his leg. Swindle looked at Dead End, who did absolutely except standing there.

"You could've help, you know," Swindle pointed out.

"You look like you were doing fine," Dead End replied., bored

"Well, because of that idiot, I now have fraggin transmission fluid all over me. Come on, let's head to the lounge and see if we can stop Scavenger and Skywarp from ripping the base apart. I don't want to have transmission fluid on me for nothing." Swindle ordered, heading off to the lounge. Dead End mearly shrug his shoulders and followed along.