Eat.

I wanted him to say something. I wanted him to explain it to me. I wanted him to tell me why and for how long. But he didn't, instead he sat on my kitchen chair and stared at the floor, his hands clasped together and his lips glued shut. Something was bubbling in my stomach and it was making me feel sick. I swallowed hard and waited for my voice to gain strength so that I could ask him. But minutes turned into an hour and my voice was still failing me. It wasn't until I saw him with intentions to leave when I finally opened my mouth to say something.

"How long?" I squeaked.

Brian looked at me and sat back down, "What do you mean?"

"How long have you..." I pondered for the right word, "How long have you had feelings for me?"

"A while." He replied simply.

"But how long is a while?"

"Well, what do you think, Elizabeth?"

"Freshman year?"

He laughed a sad laugh, "Guess again."

"Middle school?"

"Getting closer."

"It was the frst time we played with Bubba, wasn't it?"

"Close. Remember that day we were playing out in your backyard and you fell on the concrete and you scraped your knee really fucking bad?"

"Yeah?"

"When I gave you my last Superman band aid, the coolest band aids my mom ever bought. That's when I knew."

"When you sacrificed your band aid?"

"No. I gave it to you because I made it my job to protect you and obviously...I didn't succeed."
My heart skipped a beat in sadness, I knew he was talking about Mario. "You know, I promised you that but...I don't think you remember. I promised you that I would be there to pick you up and to give you a bandaid and to keep you safe and all that shit. I'm trying so hard to keep you that way but when you were with him, to see what you let him do to you...it was almost like you weren't trying. Like you just gave up."

"But why? Why do you care so much for me? Why do you love me so much?"

Brian shrugged, "I don't know. Sometimes, I wish I didn't. I wish I hadn't talked to you that day when you were crying on the slide after you found out your mom left. I wish I just minded my own business and played with Bubba by myself. I could've stayed to myself. But I didn't."
It wasn't until when a tear hit my hand that I realized I was crying. I quickly ran my hand under my eyes and blinked away the rest of the tears. I heard Brian sigh.

"Fuck, I fucked up. I'm sorry Ellie, I didn't mean to say all of that."
"I'm fine." I sniffed, "Why are you sorry? I'm so oblivious to everything and I went straight to a guy who used me for my lower regions."

"I'd disagree but that's probably true."

I put my head in my hands and continued to cry,

"Bad timing." He groaned, "I should've never told Joe-"

"Joe knew about your feelings for me?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"He's really good at finding things out when they first start to develop."

"Does anyone else know about your feelings?"

"The guys. Lily, Val, my dad, my mom, McKenna has an idea- I need to be quiet. I'm not making this any better- oh Christ, Ellie, I'm sorry please don't cry!"

"Everyone knew but me?! How stupid does one have to be?!"

"You know what, stand up." Brian exhaled and stood up from his chair.

"Why should I?"

"Because." Brian took my hands and pulled me up, "Look at me."

I let out an agitated sigh and looked at him. Brian grimaced and wiped the tears from under my eyes, "So what you're a little oblivious but who the hell isn't. You were oblivious to my feelings and I was oblivious to your, uh, habits."

"You're lying. You knew this whole time."

"Yeah. I am. But still."
I frowned and laid my head on his chest, my arms wrapping themselves around his waist, "Now what?"

"What do you mean, now what?"

"The cat's out of the bag."

"I know. But we could easily forget about this whole day."

"No. We can't."

"You can if you put your mind to it."

"Well," I bit my lip, "I don't want to forget about it."

I felt his arms tense around me, "I wish you would."

"Why?"

"Because it'll change everything."

"What would it change? I knew you loved me before, now I knew you love me in a different way."

"I think that definitely changes things."

"Give me time."

"Time for what?"

"To return your feelings."

"I'm not asking you to do that."

"Will you give me time? Will you take me out on dates so that I can decided if this is a good idea or not?"

"No. The last thing you need is a relationship. Maybe I'll take you out on shitty dates so that you don't date me."

"That's the opposite of what you want."

"I know. But it's for the best."

"You say that and I don't even know what you mean."

"Because it'll ruin something-"

"Let's say it wouldn't ruin anything. That everything was sunshine and lollipops."

"Like I said, you aren't ready for another relationship."

"I know I'm not. That's why I want time with you. So that I can...feel normal again."

"Define normal?"

"Being happy and spending time with the people I care about and maybe eating again."

"You're going to try?"

"I will. I'll go to the doctor and I'll try to get better for you, for Joe, for my mom, wherever she is, for Mac, the guys, for everyone."

"Don't do it for all of us, Ellie." He said as he placed a small kiss on my hair, "Do it for you."

I smiled and looked up at him, "Okay. I will."

"Should we tell Joe to make the call?"

"I'm already calling." Joe says, making a reappearance in the room with a small smile on his face.

I listened to him talk to the hospital receptionist and all of a sudden felt scared. But, Brian's fingers then met mine, lacing them together, almost if he had known how I was feeling.

"I've got to go." He whispered.

I nodded, "Alright."

"I'll be back tomorrow and we'll go out and watch a movie like old times. Sound good?"

"Like a date?"

He shook his head, "Like friends. I'm not taking you to the movie theater for a date. What the fuck do I look like?"

"A cliche?"

Brian laughed and kissed my cheek, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay."

He let go of my hand and smiled, his smile still on his face as he left the house.

"Are you two together now?" Joe asked, obviously finished with the phone call.

"Nope." I smiled slightly, "We're just best friends."

"For now?"

I nodded and walked towards the stairs, smiling, "For now."