Eat.

The words that he said to me that night were in my head forever. I never thought he would do something like that or even think about saying something remotely close to what he said.

"Ellie! It's not my fault that some girls just happen to be skinnier than you!"

I was fighting back tears, I was skinny I knew I was. But it was never enough for Mario.

"This is all your fault, maybe if you took better care of yourself none of this would've ever happened!"

That's when I lost it, "So automatically because I am not stick thin you aren't going to love me enough?!" I screamed.

"Don't you raise your tone with me." He growls.

"I'll raise my goddamn voice if I want! You're so fucking...ugh! I can't even explain it, you're just
so pigheaded I don't even know how to deal with it! You just-"

That's when his hand met with my face. I fell down on the floor and held my hand to my face, it was throbbing but I didn't cry. I looked at him and I wanted to tear him limb from limb. I watched as he left my house, slamming the door behind him. I felt tears rimming my eyes as I walked up to the bathroom.

My eye was swollen, no doubt. I was sure that it was going to be bigger and purple by tomorrow. I sighed and fell to my knees, putting my hands on my face and beginning to sob. What did I do to deserve this?

I looked at the mirror with teary eyes. All I saw was an idiot crying on the floor.
"Stupid, fat whore!" I screamed, grabbing my brush and throwing it directly at the mirror, making it shatter on the ground.

I pulled up my shirt and looked at my stomach that was overlapping my pants, I began to cry again. If I wanted to be skinny I would have to work hard, meaning I had to work out harder than before and not eat. It was a start, so I vowed to myself that I would not eat until I reached my goal weight. Whatever that might be.

Waking up with a bruise on my face wasn’t how I wanted to start my morning. When I see my reflection on vanity I groaned. It hurt so terribly and it looked just as awful, for a split second I thought about staying home from school but I soon realized that my step-father would have none of it. I couldn’t let Joe see this, the first thing he would do is grab his gun and shoot Mario dead in cold blood.

I sighed and got out of bed, beginning my morning routine and finishing it by adding a new step. I grabbed the sunglasses Brian had gotten me for my sixteenth birthday and shoved them on my face gently. I cringed slightly as the lens met contact with my tender eye, I bit my lip and grabbed my bag, bouncing down the stairs as I walk into the kitchen to see Joe making me breakfast. I smiled as I watch him scurry around, making sure that the french toast didn’t burn. Joseph Currie was the closest thing I had to a family. After my mother left him three years after she married him, she left a barely five year old me in his care and he’s treated me as his own ever since.

“No breakfast for me, Pops.” I said, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and heading towards the exit.

“What?! I made you French toast! Your favorite!” He said disappointedly, “Take it to go at least.”

“But I’m not hungry.” I pout.

“Take some for Brian, I know he’ll want it.”

“Joe, you’re making him fall in love with you.”

“They didn’t call me Slick Mojo for nothing.”

I scrunched up my disgust, “Gross. That’s something I don’t need to know.”

He laughs again and he waves his hands at me, signaling me to get out, “Get to school, you little nerd.”

I smiled at him and kissed his balding head as I grabbed the French toast and walked out the door. “Later!” I called out, beginning to walk out the door and towards my car. Until I decided that exercising would probably get me to my goal weight faster.

As I get closer to school property my stomach begins to rumble violently. I groaned softly and clenched my stomach, hoping that the feeling of wanting food would go away soon. When I
made it to school, it seemed that my stomach began to stop rumbling and the hunger began to numb. I was grateful that is going away because there was no way in Hell Brian was going to accept the French toast if he heard that my stomach rumbled. I walked around back to picnic tables to see that Brian’s leg was bouncing up and down nervously, staring down at a piece of paper and chewing on a pencil. I laughed, he didn’t do his calculus homework. Again.

“Delivery.” I declared, dropping the baggy of lukewarm break on his paper.

“Thanks,” He mumbled, yawning as he tore his attention away from his paper to me, “Is this Joe’s?”

“The one and only.”

“Oh fuck yes. I was craving this shit since Monday. Can I marry your step-dad?”

“No. You can’t. That would be weird.” I rolled my eyes, grabbing his homework and beginning to start on one of the equations. Until I felt a squishy substance meet with my cheek, “What the fuc-”

“Eat.” Brian orders, pushing the bread into my face as I try my best to pull away from it.

“No I already ate.” I lied, pushing his hand away as he squints his eyes at me, shoving the bread in his mouth and watching me suspiciously.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I am.”

Brian shrugs and puts his head down on the table, “Guess what?”

“What?”

“Some girl came up to me yesterday after you left, which we’re coming back to that topic, and told me she was pregnant.”

“Oh God, is it yours?”

“Fuck no, I would never fuck her. Anyway, it’s not mine. It’s Jimmy’s.”

“Oh God. Please tell me she’s not going give Jimmy any custody. I mean, I love Jimmy with all my damn heart but that boy is not sane enough to take care of a himself and much less a child.”

“Oh he’s going to take care of that kid. Anyway, you’ll never believe who’s pregnant with that baby.”

“Who?” I asked frantically.

“None other than...Dalia Marie Lawson.”

I gasped, “Shut the fuck up. You’re fucking bluffing!”

Brian throws his hands up in the air and crosses his heart, “I’m being three hundred percent honest.”

“Are you fucking serious?! Dalia?!”

He nods, “Oh yeah. Dalia.”

“But she is so innocent and cute!”

“Jimmy took away that innocence.”

“But she was always in those abstinence programs and church groups!”

Brian shrugs again, “What the fuck do you want me to say? That bitch is huge.”

I slapped his arm, “Be nice to her!”

“No, I refuse to be nice. She’s ruining Jim’s life!”

“Technically, it’s the baby who is ruining Jimmy’s life and it’s Jimmy’s fault because he should’ve used protection.”

“It’s still her fault.” He grumbled, picking up the last piece of French toast and offering some to me, “Wants some?”

I shake my head, “I’m not hungry remem-” and that moment, my stomach made the noise of a dying whale, Brian raised an eyebrow looked at me worriedly.

“Are you sure that you’re not hungry? I’m pretty full.”

I had to think about something quick, “Um no, I’m fine...I just- I have diarrhea. I have to go, um, poop, I mean...like, okay bye.”

My face turned red as I grabbed my bag and walked quickly to my classes. Diarrhea? More like diarrhea of the mouth. I groaned as I tried to shove that embarrassing moment to the back of my head, trying to get my mind off of eating and walking towards class.


I was glad when lunch came around, I was getting tired of everyone looking at me funny and I was tired of taking Mario’s abuse. Throughout our government class I would hear Mario talk to his friends about me. It took my several trips to the bathroom to try and restrain myself from crying and punching him in the face.

“Hey guys.” I greeted as I tried my best to force a smile on my face

“Hey El, I guess it's really sunny outside, isn't it?” Zacky laughs, pointing at my glasses.

“Fuck you, Zacky.” I grumbled, sticking out my tongue, making him narrow his eyes at me.

“Hey Ellie, I’m really sorry about what Loraine did.” He says, looking genuinely upset.

I smiled lightly and shook my head, “It wasn’t your fault, Jim. I talked to Mario about it yesterday,” you mean scream? “And it went really well.” I assured, faking another smile
so that no one would be suspicious.

Jimmy smiled at me, making me feel a little bit better. That boy could light up a funeral home if he wanted to. But something caught my attention, Brian was examining me, he eyes burning on my face as my palms began to sweat. Out of nowhere, he grabs my glasses and rises them up, seeing the big black spot on my eye. I gasped and pulled them back onto my eyes, watching as his face turned from concerned to angry.

“Wait till I get my fucking hands on that little piece of shit. I’ll fucking tear him in two.” He growled, getting up from his chair and walking towards Mario, who was just now entering the lunch room.

“What’s going on?” Matt asked, getting up and being prepared to help his friend if he needed it

My heart quickened as I screamed towards Brian, “Brian please don’t!”
But no avail, Brian grabbed Mario by collar and had a shit eating grin on his face. I knew Brian was going to enjoy this. He slammed Mario’s body onto the ground as he kicked him mercilessly, I watched in horror as everyone in the lunchroom began gathering around the two. Matt and Jimmy ran up, trying to pull Brian away as he continued to throw punches and kicks. I felt my stomach churning, I ran to the bathroom. I couldn’t bear to watch this any longer.

“Ellie?” I heard Val call

I ignored her as I ran into a stall and began heaving my stomach’s contents into the porcelain bowl, “Elizabeth is that you?” She questioned, “Oh God I can’t believe I’m going to do this.” She huffs, crawling under the space of the bottom of the stall and gasping, holding my hair back as she witnessed my vomiting.

“What’s going on?! Brian’s beating the shit out of your boyfriend and you’re in here puking your goddamn guts out!”

I took a shaky deep breath and pulled away from the toilet, while I was puking my glasses had fallen into the toilet, I frowned. My black eye was revealed.

“Oh my god! Is that why Brian is beating Mario up? Did he do this to you?!”

I didn’t answer, instead I leaned my head against the cool tile wall.

“I’ll rip him in two!” Val growls, repeating Brian’s words from earlier.

This is not going to be a good rest of the day.