On the Edge

"Frank!" Gerard panicked into the phone after the beep. He sighed loudly, exhaling as much stress he could possibly release from his body. "Frank," he pleaded. "Please..." His voice was in a bare whisper now as he ended the call, dropping his phone to his lap.
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​​​​​He buried his face into his arms as he rested them on top of the steering wheel. The sleeves of his jacket soaked up the uncontrollable tears that were now starting to well up in his eyes. An anxious honk of the horn from the car behind him met his ears, causing Gerard to quickly look up. He wiped his tears away and saw that the light had turned green. Gerard steadied his breathing and began to proceed through the intersection. He had been driving down the busy streets of Philadelphia to find his best friend all morning.

Gerard had a gut feeling. Something just didn't seem right.
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​​​​​Frank felt a jolt of vibration is his pocket. He pulled out his cell phone and saw that he had received a voice mail. He gripped onto the phone hard, pressing his lips firmly together as he fought back more tears. "I'm okay." He whispered, somehow hoping that Gerard could hear him. But Frank knew that he wasn't okay. He was afraid that he'd never be okay again.
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-

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As we made our way back to my place, we hit up a few bars on south street with Kennedy and Parker. Ten bucks at a bar barely got anything for two people so we decided to stick with shots of cheap liquor. You were definitely a light weight, but you didn't show many signs of being completely plastered. Other than your sometimes slurred speech, you kept yourself composed and ladylike. Mostly every girl I knew became sloppy and annoying when they got drunk. They always expected me to take care of their drunk asses. The way you kept your composure only made you more attractive.
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​​​​​"This way." I spoke sweetly as we walked down the dark eerie sidewalk. I turned to give you a smirk but noticed you peering across the street. I let my curiosity get the best of me and glanced in that direction. My heart sank as my eyes met the curb you were sobbing on a month and a half before this night.

You felt my gaze fall upon you and turned toward me. My small smirk turned into a sympathetic smile as your eyes met mine. You returned a forced smile as your eyes quickly darted to the dirty sidewalk. Without hesitation I gently took your hand in mine, giving it a slight squeeze. You looked back up at me with a genuine smile now painted across your lips. You squeezed my hand right back.

There was a comfortable silence as we walked the last few blocks to my apartment. I thanked god for my liquid courage allowing me to take your hand without thinking twice. I normally wasn't so nervous around women. In fact, I've been told I could get anyone I wanted with just a snap of the finger. But there was something about you that caused me to be so shy and timid. The first night we spent together quickly made me realize that there was no reason to be so shy around someone so down to earth and delicate as you.

"You listen to the Black Lips?!" You exclaimed as you looked through my old tattered iPod I had gotten in 2005. You were curled up on the edge of the love seat in the living room.
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​​​​​"Of course." I smirked. I stood in the kitchen, stirring two mixed drinks I had concocted. Once they were stirred to perfection, I brought them into the living room. I sat them on the glass coffee table as I took my place next to you on the love seat.

"I must say," You smirked, handing my iPod back to me. "You have an incredible taste in music."

"Why thank you," I smiled. "I honestly have never met anyone who's even heard of the Black Lips so I'm sure you have a pretty great taste in music as well."

"Aw, thanks." You giggled as you reached for your drink. You took a sip and I wondered if you thought it was any good, considering you were a bartender at the most popular bar on south street. "Wow! What is in this?" You paused. "This is amazing!"
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​​​​​"Really?" I gushed. "It's a secret." I winked, allowing that liquid courage to take over once more.

"Oh yeah?" You playfully asked. "You know I could take another sip of this and tell you exactly what's in this..."

"Oh yeah?" I mocked you. "So are you a woman that knows her liquor?"

"Of course." You beamed. "I've only been bar-tending for three years now." You sarcastically stated.

"Three years?" I asked. "How old are you now?"

"I recently turned twenty one. I started bar-tending at a bar my cousin owned a few months before my eighteenth birthday." You said. You took another sip as I nodded, taking in all the information. You peered into the glass before exclaiming, "I got it!"

"What's that?" I asked, confused.

"Malibu, banana liqueur, grenadine, and orange juice with a splash of ginger ale." You listed all the contents of the drink. I chuckled in disbelief.

"You cheated!" I teased. "You watched me make the drinks!"

"I what?!" You attempted to be offended by my words but failed miserably. I couldn't help but giggle at how adorable the false state of shock plastered across your face was. "My back was turned to you the entire time!"

"Alright, alright. I believe you." I said, giving you a quick wink. You smirked as you took another drink.

"How could I doubt someone that works at the most popular bar on south stre-" I paused, quickly realizing what I had just said. Unless you saw me at your bar that night, you would have no idea I knew you worked there. I suddenly realized that I knew a lot more about you than you were aware of. I suddenly felt like a creep and hoped I didn't come off as some sort of stalker.

"Oh, you've seen me at Jon's before?" You asked curiously.

"Yeah, I have actually." I said nonchalantly, trying to play it off. I quickly thought of a way to change the subject. I didn't want to blurt out any more statements that might have creeped you out. "Wanna watch a movie of something?" I asked.

You had your elbow resting against the back cushion of the love seat as your head rested against your hand. Your head was tilted a bit as you smirked at me and nodded. I couldn't help but smile at your adorable response.
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​​​​​A few conversations, multiple mixed drinks and a movie later I heard a soft yawn coming from your side of the love seat. "You know if you're tired you can go ahead and fall asleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the couch, I don't mind."

"Are you sure?" You said softly. "I don't want to intrude."

"Of course I'm sure." I chuckled. "Do you really think I'm going to make you sleep on this couch?" You smiled, but I could tell you were thinking of reasons to oppose.

"C'mon," I said standing up. "I've got some comfortable clothes that you can slip into."

You followed me into my bedroom as I pulled out an old white t shirt and some of the smallest plaid pajama pants I could find. "This is all I've got." I smiled as I handed you the clothes. "The bathroom is that door right behind you."
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​​​​​"Thank you," You smiled as you turned and entered the bathroom to change. I changed into more comfortable clothes before I heard the bathroom door open. I glanced up at you. Seeing you in my over-sized t shirt and pajama pants planted an uncontrollable grin across my face. "Don't laugh at me!" You joked as you exited the bathroom.

"Laugh at you?" I chuckled. "I'm not. The sight of you swimming in my over sized clothes is rather cute." I beamed.

You blushed and placed your folded clothes on the night stand by my bed. "Well thank you." You giggled.
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​​​​​"Here," I said, pulling the blanket back and placing a few pillows on the side of the bed you were standing on. "If you need anything just ask. I'll be right out in the livingro-" I paused, quickly giving you a double take.

"Shit," I exhaled as I noticed crimson red blood beginning to drip from your nose.

"What?" You asked, looking at me completely confused.
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​​​​​"Your nose." I said, suddenly remembering the punch that you took earlier in the night. The blood began to drip down to your upper lip. I quickly reached over to my nightstand and grabbed a few tissues. You reached up to your nose, delicately touching the dark blood that was staining your beautiful pale skin. I handed you a tissue for the blood on your fingers and gently began to dab the fresh blood from above your lips. "That bitch." I muttered, thinking about the girl that carelessly punched you in your face.

You allowed me to gently clean most of the blood up before you softly spoke. "You saw?"

I gave you a sad smile as I nodded. "I was right there in the front row." I sighed. "She punched you so hard your head was practically resting on my shoulder for a moment."

You looked down as I removed the tissue from beneath your small nose. "Thank you." You said quietly as I tossed the tissue away in the small trash bin next to my bed.

"It's no problem." I smiled a bit. I stood there awkwardly for a moment before looking around. I ran my hand through my hair and looked to the floor before looking back at you. "Well like I said, if you need anything I'll be on the cou-"

"Do you really think that's necessary?" You cut me off. "You can sleep in your bed as well."
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​​​​​"I'm not making you sleep on the couch." I gave a nervous chuckle. "Waait-as well?"

"Yes, as well." You smiled. "I'd hate to make you sleep on the couch in your own apartment. You can sleep in your bed as well. Unless you're uncomfortable with the idea, I could sleep on the couch if you want." Your words trailed off.
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​​​​​"Oh," I exhaled. "No, I'm totally comfortable-uh, I-I mean-I'm not gay." I stammered nervously, trying hard not to sound like I wanted to take advantage of you. I certainly didn't want to come off as gay either. How could anyone turn down such an offer with a woman as gorgeous as you?

"Frank," you giggled at my rambling. "I know, just-get in your bed." You jokingly demanded.
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​​​​​I sighed, relieved that I didn't make a complete fool of myself just then. I pulled back the blanket on the opposite side of the bed and crawled in as you turned off the light. You sunk into my queen sized bed before cuddling up to the blanket we shared. "Goodnight." You whispered softly.

"Goodnight." I exhaled in a bare whisper.
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​​​​​Your back was turned to me as I faced you. I must have laid there for a good ten minutes working up the courage to break the silence and ask you a question that was on the back of my mind all night. The outside world was chiming into my moonlit bedroom as I heard the various cars passing my apartment. Off in the distance I could hear police sirens and the occasional laughter of people walking home from the bars. I laid there listening all these various sounds lull me to sleep as I watched you lay across from me. I was softly shaken out of falling asleep when I felt you stir next to me. I took a deep breath and hoped you didn't fall asleep yet as I softly whispered your name.

"Yeah?" You managed in a sleepy whisper.

"I've got a question." I stated confidently. You turned to face me and I felt my body tense up. I managed to relax as you smirked at me, waiting for me to continue speaking. "In the parking lot at the party tonight, we started speaking at the same time." I said softly. "What were you going to say?"

You didn't respond for what felt like a full minute as I just laid there and studied your expression in the moonlight. Part of you was wondering where the random question came from and part of you debated whether or not to honestly answer it. "I was going to say," you paused. "I was going to say that I recognized you."

I gazed into your blue eyes as I thought of a way to respond. "You recognize me from where?" I blurted out.

You closed your eyes slowly for a moment before opening them, seeing that I never took my eyes off yours. "I'm sure you recognize me from that night too." You said faintly.

I took another deep breath. The sounds of the busy city outside of my tiny apartment I was focusing on a mere minute ago were now muted. I stared blankly into your eyes as a thousand questions raced through my mind. "May I ask you something?"

You simply nodded."Why where you sitting on that dirty sidewalk," I managed. "Sobbing all alone?"

Your body language proved it wasn't a surprise this was the question I was going to ask you next. You laid there and softly closed your beautiful eyes, as if you were perfectly articulating each word to say. "My cousin," You spoke with your eyes still closed. You paused before you opened them once more, locking your eyes with mine. "My cousin committed suicide that night."

I have never felt my body sink so deeply into my mattress until I heard you, nearly a complete stranger at the time, speak such heavy words. A huge wave of guilt rushed over me once I remembered I left you to come sleep with some random bar slut in the exact bed we were laying in. I instantly regretted not rushing across the street and pulling you into my arms to comfort you.

I saw your eyes glaze over a moment before one single tear fell from your eye. The moonlight managed to give the next few tears that delicately fell a crystallized appearance. I may not have been there to comfort you the night it had happened, but I was there now. All I could do was pull your tiny frame into my tattooed arms. I kissed the top of your head as you sniffled into my chest. "Life is too precious."

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-

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Frank thought of the simple words you spoke into his chest as tears continued to emerge from your eyes. He peered down at the rushing December water of the Delaware river as tears began to emerge
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​​​​​"Life is too precious." Frank repeated with the shake of his head.