Kissing in Cars

I sat on the balcony of my hotel room. No closer to finding Grands then we were one week ago. The clues made no sense. Clue one is a newspaper clipping of a puppy found in a well in New Jersey. Clue two was the golden gate bridge. Last but not least was clue number three, wedding rings. So I am sure that she is in the states, maybe in a church somewhere. Really that doesn't narrow much down at all. I was grateful to back in the states but the boys’ next tour doesn't start until the eleventh of August. That was a whole month from now, Duncan wouldn't give clues any other way. This was my attempt at relaxing, being here in a five star hotel on the boys’ dime. They booked the whole floor and hired a heavy body guard detail. I wondered if I should tell the guys to back off. I wanted them to be safe; instead they chose to be in danger for Mickey and I.

In fact, if anything Tony and her were more inseparable than ever. I could swear that they were a married couple. They argued like one, laughed like one, and loved like one. Tony was always holding her hand, her waist, touching her hair; it was rare that he wasn't touching her. Mickey was a glow, but I could see how torn she felt in her eyes. She couldn't be happier to be with him, she also couldn't be more worried, about him and Grands. It was like my thoughts summoned her, Mickey slipped out onto the balcony and stood by my side. She had her lips pursued as she stared out at the city with wandering eyes.

“She could be right under our noses.” Her eyes kept sweeping the city.

“Yeah, she could be. Or Duncan could be purposely torturing us.” I leaned against the railing. “Maybe she is dead and he is just trying to lure us, or trap the boys. I can’t let him hurt them. We should go to him Mickey, just get it over with.”

“Shh, not yet. Let me enjoy this just a little while longer. I promise we will go. Besides we haven’t even found him yet and-“

“Oh come on Mickey, he is here. He will always be where we are. He has to have Grands with him too. He just wants to mess with us. All we have to do is go out and he will find us.” I turn and face her.

“Give me until Canada, and then we can go. I just want more time with Tony.” Tears spilled down her cheek. “Don’t you want more time with Vic?”

“I want him not to die. That’s all I want.” Mickey gave me a sad look and then left me out here on my own.

I couldn't say how desperately I wanted things to be different. How much I just wished I could stay with Vic and the guys forever. Without a single worry or care and my only death threats coming from crazed fans. That’s wasn't our reality, our reality was Duncan and his desperate desire to get even. I closed my eyes from the exhaustion of sleepless nights. I would spend my days cooped up in the bathroom alone, vomiting, crying and worrying about my future. Vic was worried; he would spend his days outside the bathroom door begging me to let him in. I wanted to so badly, but what’s the point now. I am as good as dead anyway. I got up to head inside and lock myself away again but Vic stopped me.

“Not today Lei, please just stay with me.” His hand was on my arm, pulling me closer to him.

I felt myself give in when I looked into his eyes. They were full of desperation, fear, and an emotion that looked a lot like love. I knew that despite that fact that parting with him slowly would be better, I still would be spending my time with him. I all but threw myself into his arms. I hugged him for what felt like eternity. It had been a whole week since I told him how I felt and a whole week since I allowed him to touch me. I knew I was crying when I looked at him, soon someone else will take my place. When I am gone he will move on to someone new. I kissed him, letting my fingertips crawl up the back of his neck into his hair. When we broke apart, I kept my forehead pressed against his.

“I am sorry. I just thought I could protect you by keeping you at a distance.” I watched his lips curl into a smile.

“You can’t keep my safe now Lei. There is no reason to try. All I want is for us to be together. Everything else will work out.” He put his hand into my mine and kissed me again. “Now help me write new music for our new album.”

A smile stretched across my face, “I would be so honored.”

I spent the rest of the day curled up in Vic’s arms with his notebook in front of us. His laptop next to us, and tons of fans letters on either side of the couch we sat on. Vic said his fans are his biggest inspiration; I smiled and leaned against his chest. His kissed the back of my neck and hummed as he read a letter from a girl with cancer. I cuddled into him further and found an old letter I wrote to him at the start of Spring Fest in the pile and I laughed. I opened the envelope and smiled, once again remembering how I never thought I would be here. Inside the envelope was a poem I had written about him. I felt so embarrassed, I wanted to hide it but he spotted me with it. He smiled widen when he saw it was from me. He put me in a lock, holding me tight against his body as he read it. I blushed, giggled and softly hit him with my feet as he read aloud my pathetic attempts to be poetic.

“I love it.” He loosened his grip so I turned around and pounced on him.

“You better, because I poured my heart onto the page for you.” I growled playful at him.

“In that case, I will frame it and treasure it forever. I mean a heart is a very important thing, so thanks for giving me ownership of yours.” He kissed my forehead, lifted me off of him. “We are supposed to be writing silly. Stop distracting me with your amazing poetry, even if it inspiring me.”

I sat at the other end of table and grabbed a piece of paper and started to write. I expressed every emotion I had for Vic, I told stories. I spent hours, filling pages and pages of paper with thoughts, emotions, and tales from my past. I would leave this with Vic next month, so he could remember me when I am gone. I looked up at him and smiled, at least we have these moments together.