Whispers

“Miss Bastian?” Rae looked up as she was gathering her things, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. The class was filing out of the stuffy room, students carrying bags with art supplies. Rae folded her things and walked down the steps to the desk where her professor sat, the woman looking at her through her glasses. “This drawing,” she said, handing her the charcoal piece of Harry. “It’s one of the most beautiful I’ve seen.”

Rae blinked in surprise before looking down at the picture. It was something so simple, Harry sitting on a stool and looking directly out of the paper. Looking at it, she saw that it was probably better detail than anything she had ever done. But it was not difficult to make detail when you knew the planes of someone’s face so well. “Why- thank you, Professor Allen. I’m pleased that you like it.”

“What I like about your work,” the elderly woman said, crossing her hands, “is that you put absolute passion into it. You don’t just draw something. Even when I instruct what to draw, you find some way to put yourself into the art. That’s a true artist.”

Rae smiled, lifting a shoulder slightly. She was not used to praise from somehow so knowledgeable in art. It felt nice, not hearing that her work was wonderful from just Harry or Trystan. “Thank you. I enjoy it more than most things in the world, if I’m going to be completely honest.”

“I can tell. There is an art show, next week. It is for the most prestigious of students, certainly none in this class, but seeing as I am organizing the event, I can add whoever I bloody well want to. I think your work would look excellent, in it.”

Breath squeezed into her lungs in a light gasp. Rae had never been asked to present her art in a show. It had always been a hobby, but here in front of her sat someone who adored her work, and who wanted to show it off. It was more than anything Rae could ever hope for. “Well- of course. That would be amazing, my goodness I’m flattered, Professor.”

The woman smiled. “It’s all paintings revolved around the subject of pain. Do you have anything of the sort?”

Rae smiled sadly, bowing her head slightly. Many of the paintings in her home revolved around that subject, reflecting her innermost feelings of when her mother died. The pain was so raw in many of the paintings that she put them away. “Yes, I do.”

“Wonderful. Select five pieces and submit them to me by Friday afternoon.”

“Thank you,” Rae said again, a huge smile breaking out across her face. She could not contain the happiness bubbling up inside of her, threatening to make her bust at the seams with it. “Really, thank you so much for this opportunity. I won’t let you down.”

The woman smiled. “I know you won’t.”

Outside of the building, Rae let out a small squeal of delight, the cold weather making her breath look like a ghost in the air. Throwing her hands up, she spun in a circle, the glee taking over her. After weeks of stressing over little, stupid things, she finally had a chance to be happy.

It was moments of success like this that she remembered you had to keep going. No matter how long the storm was, no matter how nasty it got, there was always a clear patch of weather, an end to the rain. Every war came to an end.

Practically floating to the car, Rae couldn’t help but laugh. Someone thought that her art was worth something. It was like someone telling you that a piece of your soul was beautiful, because that’s what her art was. It was fragments of her soul blended together to make a mirror image of herself. And it was making her feel high.

Juggling the things in her hands to find her keys, she glanced up to put her bag on her car, slowing her movements. Across the street she saw a boy moving through the crowd, not toward her, but just in a direction. Her breathing quickened and she fumbled for her keys.

Sean. She knew that she wasn’t imagining it this time. It was his tall frame, his dirty blonde hair and his stern, silent swagger as he walked down the side walk among many other people. He wasn’t looking at her, not even in the slightest. But she knew that he was there, and she knew that she was about to feel sick.

The fear that rose up in her was almost enough to send her into hysterics when she finally felt the cold metal of her keys, wrenching her car door open and hitting the locks, trying not to have an anxiety attack in the middle of her car.

Breathing was difficult as she put her hands on the steering wheel, clutching it tightly. Taking measured breaths, she squeezed her eyes shut shoving the key in the ignition. Fear was palpable, the taste ripe on her tongue like metal. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t seen her. It mattered that he could have.

It was like watching a nightmare unfold in smoke in front of you. It was her deepest terrors, to see him again. She could not even feel rage anymore, towards the boy. She could only feel something that made her bones shiver and that made her hearing ring out.

Sitting in the parking lot, Rae couldn’t find the courage to start the car, though the key dangled in the ignition. She was scared that if it made a sound, he would hear it, that he would turn and see her, and that he would find her.

A knock on the window made her scream out in terror, her eyes flying wide as she flinched away from the glass. But it wasn’t Sean standing on the other side of the glass, it was Finn, giving her a shocked look at she took a step back, holding her hands up in a surrender.

Of course it was Finn. How stupid was Rae to forget that Finn was meeting her after class for a ride home? Her neighbors car was in the shop and Rae had offered to meet her when she finished class and Finn got off of work. Once again, Rae’s insanity was betraying her.

Unlocking the car, she gestured for Finn to get in. The red head did hesitantly, unsure if her motions were going to cause Finn to scream again. Rae instantly felt guilty, because she knew Finn was starting to think that she was giving Rae heart problems, with how jumpy she had been.

“Do I look that awful today?” Finn asked when she was in the car, rubbing her hands for warmth. Rae was thankful that her friend was trying to play off the moment with a joke, not wanting to hold the freak out against her. “I swear I actually tried to look nice.”

“Sorry,” Rae murmured, looking down. She started the car then, letting the heat come through the vents. Finn was watching her carefully, still trying to figure out what on earth Rae had screamed of. “I thought you were someone else, is all. I didn’t mean to give you a fright, I’ve just got… bad anxiety.”

“Yeah I’m starting to notice,” Finn mentioned dryly but not unkindly. The brunette hoped that she wasn’t feeling like she was being lied to. Rae had never told Finn about Leon or Sean, and she did not intend to. It wasn’t not something that was on the need to know basis, and she did not advertise Harry’s personal issues. “It’s fucking freezing outside, isn’t it?”

Driving out of the parking lot, careful to not go in the direction she saw Sean, Rae nodded. “That’s London for you. Never warm for nearly a long enough time. Maybe we should move to America.”

The other girl snorted in amusement. “Unless you intend on making me swim there. I don’t fly.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely not.” Finn simply shivered at the thought and Rae could really see the fear in her green eyes. “Heights and I do not mix, especially if I’m in a metal death trap with fucking wings. Insanity, I call it.”

“Or ‘safe’.”

“Fuck that.”

At home, the two girls split ways. Carrying her things, Rae let herself into her empty home. Trystan had scrawled in a note on the fridge in her chicken scratch writing that she had made the long drive to see her parents and that she would be back late that night. It made Rae cringe, knowing she was alone in the house.

Of all nights Trystan decided to be out and about, Rae was terrified. Logically, she pulled out her phone and dialed Harry’s number. He picked it up on the third ring, just like she knew he would. He never let it go past three. Ever. “Hey, babe.”

“Hi. What are you doing?”

“I’ve just woken up from a nap.”

She could tell that was true. He sounded extremely groggy, voice deep and thick with a rasp from sleep. It gave her goose bumps to hear it, as she clutched her phone tight, moving upstairs towards her studio. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“S’ fine. Was class good?”

“Uh huh,” she said absently, forgetting completely about her good news, only able to see Sean again and again in her head, walking on the street without even knowing that she was there. She wondered how many times she had passed him that close and not even noticed. “Trys is gone for the night, and I feel sort of… alone. Do you mind coming over for a while?”

“I’ll do better, I’ll stay there.”

She bit her lip. “You have work in the morning, you don’t-"

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Shall I pick up food on the way?”

Rae smiled at the ground, flicking the light on. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

“Alright.”

“And Harry?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

She could hear the smile in his voice through the phone. “I love you too, baby.”